Seraphina grabbed the chest and walked over to the mouth of the cavern, bending down to deposit it in the ground. Her entire body radiated with pain. She had been so foolish to desire him the way she had, but she could not have helped it. Dante was a magnificent soul.
When he walked over to where she was and she continued to pluck the flowers and placed them into the chest. She refused to look in his eyes. Both her eyes and mouth had already given away too many secrets. He followed her lead and they filled the chest to the brim. When she shut the chest and locked it, she felt like she was locking herself away.
“Seraphina,” he called out to her when she shoved the chest back into her pack. Seraphina turned to him from where she sat on the ground. “What did you mean by that?”
“Mean by…”
“That you are not worthy to be my mate?” he asked.
Fear drowned her. The panic was raising up her throat. She did not wish to talk about mates. She did not want to discuss how humiliatingly flawed and undeserving she was to have him in her life.
“I-I did not mean anything by it.”
Lies. She knew she spouted lies.
“Seraphina—”
“We both know starcrossed lovers never end well, Dante,” she finally cut in. “I am not what you desire or what you need. I am just… convenient, because we are here and right now. Let us not hurt ourselves and what we have, because a night among the stars and moonlight.”
He jerked back as if she had struck him. “A night of convenience? Do you truly believe I would ever take advantage of you like that?”
“No, of course not.” He would never steal a night from her... or evidently a kiss. He was nothing but respectful and dignified. He would never sully himself to ever be entertained by a woman like her. “I know you are honorable and this is why nothing shall to come pass. Your heart belongs to her.”
“Her?”
The confusion in his tone aggravated Seraphina, because she knew the truth. She brewed every one of those potions for Lady Vylot. She knew his heart belonged to the noble lady as it should be. Was he attempting to spare her feelings?
“You do not have to lie to me or even protect me from the truth. She comes to me every time you set foot in The Great Willow Tree and during the duration of your stay.” She worried her bottom lip before she wrung her hands. Why did he feel like he needed to lie? “I am not a child anymore, Dante.” She rushed to her feet to pace before him. “I am not your responsibility—”
“Seraphina, stop, stop,” he gasped. “I know you are no longer a child—”
Her eyes flicked to him. She jutted out her chin in defiance as she crossed her arms over her chest. “When all of this finished and if I am fortunate enough to live through it all, I will not returning to The Great Willow Tree.”
“The Great Willow Tree is your home. Lady Crystobelle appointed you a role of great importance. She has put a lot of faith into you and your abilities as a healer—”
“I can easily be replaced."
“Easily?” He seemed to choke on that word in disbelief. “Learning your trade takes many years. Do you honestly think that lowly of yourself that you do not understand your worth and value?”
“You make it sound like I am a miracle worker—”
“Without you, Calyx would have perished, but your unique skillset ensured she still lives,” he pointed out. She cannot refute that and they both knew it. “You are needed and your gifts in healing are a blessing. You have saved many lives and will continue to do so, but I do not think you needing to depart from our home has to do with that, does it?” He grabbed her arm when she attempted to walk past him, forcing her to look him straight in the eyes again. “There is fear in your eyes, little warrior. Tell me why you are running away.”
“I am not running away!”
His eyes narrowed upon her and she felt like he could see through her. “Yes, you are. After all we have been through together, do you not think I am owed me more than a half explanation? Am I not worthy enough for the truth? Do I mean nothing to you at all?”
There was a look of shock upon his face that drained to a grimace. How could he believe that he meant nothing to her? He meant everything to her! He was the one that was going to shatter her when he publicly made Lady Vylot his mate. She remembered all the nights she cried herself to sleep after giving Lady Vylot her womanly potions. She knew who she was taking it for and she constantly boasted about it.
Seraphina watched him quickly turn from her to regain more control of himself. He squeezed his hands into fists and he shut his eyes. It was like he was struggling with something. When he tried to put distance between them, she grabbed his arm, preventing him from doing so.
“Can you truly not see that you mean everything to me? I am doing this for you, because I love you and I know I cannot have you!” she blurted her confession. His eyes had widened in shock. “I cannot watch you be with her. She-She is so beautiful and I would be foolish to believe you would not take her as your mate. I feel the reason you have not entered into an official handfasting ceremony is because the future is so uncertain. Once the war ends, I know you will be with her and I-I cannot—”
When she attempted to escape, he caught her, wrapping his arms around her. He held her until she calmed down and her breathing evened out. Her head was tucked underneath his chin, shivering against his body.
“I-I am sorry,” she stammered out an apology. “I have loved you for so, so very long. I know it is utterly ridiculous, because someone of your stature would never see me in such a light and I have long accepted my place. I cannot watch you be with her. I cannot watch her be your everything. I cannot.” She tried to push away from him as she shook her head. The panic and hysteria returned, shredding any sliver of sanity and decorum. “I cannot watch her be your mate and watch her belly grow with your child when she no longer needs those potions anymore.”
“Seraphina.”
Her whispered name caused her to pause for a moment. She sighed then and dared to look up into his eyes again.
“Lady Vylot is your equal I know this and I accept this,” she gasped and he shut his eyes at the mention of her name. “I will let you go like I promised. I will not share you once you have made it official…” she trailed off and he frowned as his eyes opened, burning into hers. “It is all ruined now, is it not?”
Panicked, Seraphina stumbled away from him but not without him countering her steps away from him. Bowing her head, she was once again wringing her hands and worrying her bottom lip. She had just lost the only person that meant her world to her. She felt like she lost her heart.
Blinking back her tears as she lifted her eyes to look at him. “We are ruined. Broken.”
“Ruined? Broken? No.” He shook his head, approaching her. He cupped her face within his hands. “We are far from ruined.”
With that, he dipped his head, capturing her mouth with his. Her gasp of surprise was swallowed as he deepened the kiss. She lost herself in the sensations kindling through her.