EMERY
With my head held high, and my mind made up, I get out of my car and head for Liliana's front door. Without hesitation, I push it open, bypassing the need to knock or ring the bell. When I enter, I'm greeted by the familiar calm of the house. This is hardly surprising, given her mother's demanding work schedule and the fact that Liliana and her brother are her only children. They've made the decision to live with their mother, ensuring that she doesn't feel alone during this delicate period. And while I was somewhat surprised by this at first—especially on Arwan's part—I now understand why they took this decision.
And I think it's really admirable.
Not wanting to waste any time, I rush upstairs, a twinge of worry tugging at my thoughts. Earlier, when Liliana called me, the distress in her voice was unmistakable. She needs someone by her side, which is understandable after what happened with Miklos. I'm having trouble controlling my anger towards this guy, and seeing my best friend in this state is making it increasingly difficult.
Quickly locating her bedroom door, I knock softly before hearing her muffled reply, 'Come in'. As I enter, I find Liliana sitting on her bed, staring at her computer screen showing an episode of Gossip Girl—one of the saddest, to boot.
Okay, so we're quickly going to turn this off.
"Hey, Lil'. How are you?" I ask her, though her silence and slight nod indicate the depth of her emotional turmoil. I kick off my shoes and walk over to her, sitting down next to her on the bed.
While she remains focused on Blair and Chuck's argument on the screen, I throw off my jacket, dropping it haphazardly somewhere in her room. At the moment, I'm not sure what I can do to ease her pain. Liliana has always been the one to bring comfort; it's usually never the opposite. There was indeed a time in our childhood when I offered her an ice cream after a boy rejected her, but Lil' has always been stronger than me. So much stronger. It's hard to believe she would doubt that now. She's the strongest woman I know.
"Here," I say, handing her the bag I've brought. Inside is her favourite peanut butter ice cream. I know it will offer her some comfort—if only for a little while. "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask, hoping she'll open up.
She hasn't been able to share much about what happened on Friday. All I know is that something happened between her and Miklos that evening, but then he decided to distance himself the following Monday. Part of me wants to confront this fool and give him a piece of my mind.
"I'd rather not," she finally manages to answer.
I shrug and pick up the second pot of ice cream and two spoons. Handing her one, I settle myself comfortably against her headboard. "Okay. But I want you to know, Liliana, that you are an incredible woman. Really, one of the most beautiful, intelligent and generous people I've ever met. I want you to know that, and most of all, I want you to remember that. Never doubt that."
She looks up at last, her lips forming a slight smile that makes me momentarily wonder if I'm dreaming.
"Thanks, Em," she whispers softly.
Wiping away her gratitude with a wave of my hand, I reach for her laptop, determined to change what she was looking at. Instead of the heartbreaking love story, I opt for a light comedy unrelated to romance. Together, we can forget the man who broke her heart, if only for a little while. I grab her blanket and pull her towards me, helping her open her ice cream jar in the face of all her failures. I hold back a laugh because I know she's not in the mood.
"Hey, remember when we threw ourselves into the wrong class at secondary school and thought we were in the right place until the teacher called us? That was so embarrassing!" I reminisce when the film becomes boring, hoping to bring a smile to Liliana's face. Her lips twitch, and I notice a slight smile starting to form. It warms my heart instantly.
"Yeah," she murmurs, her voice carrying a hint of nostalgia. "That was… really awkward."
"I told you it was the wrong room!" I tease her, expecting her to challenge me playfully.
"What? You've got to be kidding. You're the one who insisted we were in the right place!" she retorts, straightening up to indulge in our familiar banter.
She's absolutely right; I deliberately misled her, wanting to provoke a reaction. And I have to say I've succeeded rather well. The surrounding tension begins to dissipate as we exchange anecdotes, quickly forgetting about the film playing in front of us. We delve into stories from our nursery years right through to the hectic moments of secondary school. At the time, Liliana was the 'wild one' in our duo, but by sixth form, circumstances changed, and I was happy to take on the role.
Liliana withdrew into herself for a valid reason. After her harrowing experience with her father, she found it hard to get back on her feet, and I wish I could have done more to help her. I was there for her, but I kept wondering how I should behave, whether to make jokes or let her cry on my shoulder. I didn't want to risk doing anything wrong, so I just ensured she knew I was there, offering support. I think that brought some comfort, although there are times when I feel the impact of those events still lingers.
As we indulge in our shared memories, I find immense joy in seeing Liliana smile so sincerely. Seeing her finally finding a sense of calm and happiness gives me such satisfaction.
"I know we're not supposed to talk about guys considering… you know, but I'm curious, how did things go with Tyler at his party?" questions Liliana, her eyes filled with genuine curiosity. "I didn't get a chance to ask you."
I feel a warmth rise to my cheeks, immediately lowering my head to hide my apparent shyness at her mention. "Well, we… had a nice evening," I reply, my voice slightly softer.
Liliana squints, clearly dissatisfied with my vague answer. "'We had a good evening'? Is that all? Wouldn't you rather tell me if he was a good fuck?" she produces, teasing playfully.
"We didn't really…," I interrupt myself, leaving the rest unsaid, knowing Liliana will understand. It takes her a moment to connect the dots, and when she does, her eyes gradually widen, and she covers her mouth in shock. She shakes her head, unable to believe what she's hearing, while I look away, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and discomfort at her apparent enthusiasm.
"No… Wait, seriously? You mean you didn't…? You haven't done anything? Nothing happened?" she exclaims, her disbelief evident.
I bite my lip, a hint of nervousness creeping in. "We just talked. And talk. And talk some more.
"Nothing else?" she insists, her curiosity piqued.
"Nothing else."
"Wow," she murmurs, clearly surprised.
"Yeah, I know. It's just… it's different with him, you know? It's so different to what I've experienced with other guys. We seem to be on the same wavelength, him and me. And he's really…" I pause, realising I may be saying too much. "Sorry," I quickly interject, feeling the need to apologise. "I shouldn't be talking about this."
Liliana frowns, her concern evident. "What? Why not?"
"Because after what happened with Miklos, I don't want to appear insensitive by gossiping about my own love life and—"
"Em," she cuts me off, placing her hand on my arm. "Don't worry. You can talk to me. I want to know."
I nod, appreciating her understanding. "I really like him, you know? I feel like he's… he's right for me. I know it sounds silly, but…"
I can't help but smile.
"God, Lil', this guy… he's everything I've ever dreamed of."
"Oh," she gushes, her excitement obvious. "I think you might be falling for him."
I frown, slightly withdrawn. "In love? No, that's not… I just really like him a little." I try to play it down, but Liliana raises a sceptical eyebrow. "Okay," I snap. "Maybe a little more than a little."
She shakes her head knowingly, a playful smile playing on her lips.
"But, you know, it's been two days since I've heard from him," I confess, my concern showing in my voice. "I haven't seen him on campus either."
Liliana takes a moment to process my words, her eyebrows furrowing in thought. "Well, I saw him yesterday. He was hanging out with my brother, and he looked a bit weird, to be honest. I think you should give him a call and make sure everything's okay."
I bite my lip, contemplating his suggestion. "You think?"
"Yes!" she exclaims, her conviction unshakable. "Come on! Stop torturing yourself and call your darling!
"He's not my darling," I protest, making her roll her eyes in response.
I quickly grab my phone and frantically search for Tyler's number in my contacts. Liliana can't help but laugh at the name 'Handsome' I've assigned to him. Ignoring her amusement, I take a deep breath and dial his number, hoping he'll answer. The first two times, he doesn't. It's only on the third attempt that he finally picks up. Following my friend's suggestion, I press the speaker button, needing her help with this conversation.
"Hello?" Tyler's voice fills the room, and my heart skips a beat. I love the sound of his voice.
"Hi, Tyler, it's Emery," I say, my voice filled with a mixture of nervousness and anticipation.
"I know, yeah. I've got your number," he replies casually.
I bite my lip, glancing at Liliana, already feeling embarrassment creeping in.
"I, uh… wanted to call and check on you. You haven't answered my last few texts, and I—"
"I'm all right," he cuts me off abruptly. "Don't worry, I'm fine." His tone is unusually cold, and Liliana senses it, too, urging me to be more insistent.
Without hesitation, I gather my courage and continue, "Are you sure? You can talk to me, you know? Or maybe we can discuss it tomorrow when we—"
"No," he interrupts me again, his voice devoid of warmth. "There won't be a tomorrow."
My heart stops; a sinking feeling comes over me.
"What?" I manage to utter.
"Tomorrow's date, you can forget about it," he declares firmly.
My mouth is wide open, but no words come out. I stand in stunned silence, the weight of his words crushing my heart. I can't understand what has just happened. Is this some kind of joke? Is he messing with me? A few days ago, everything seemed fine. I've done nothing to justify this sudden change. I can't understand what I could have done. This has to be a terrible joke.
Driven by confusion and despair, I want to pour out my heart to him, but he's already hung up. I dial his number again. He doesn't answer. I try again. No answer. I try again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. And fucking again, I try. I keep dialling, hoping for a different result, but he never picks up. After a while, Liliana has to intervene and take my phone to stop me.
I remain perplexed and lost. Countless questions flood my mind, each one racing against the other in a desperate attempt to understand what went wrong. Did I say something that upset him? Did I misinterpret his feelings? What have I done to make him push me away like this? Why isn't he answering me?
I don't understand.
I don't understand anything.
I turn to Liliana, looking for comfort in her eyes, hoping for an answer she can hold back. But all I see is her own shock coming back to me, a tacit acknowledgement that this turn of events is as disconcerting for her as it is for me. Immediately, I find myself on the verge of heartache, wrestling with unanswered questions. The pain in my chest is palpable, a constant reminder of the broken connection that was once so promising.
And as I stand there, my heart turning inward and holding back my tears, I spot Arwan walking past Liliana's room, surely on his way to work. Usually, the mere sight of him would make me want to make a remark or give him a hard time. But today, I feel nothing but numbness.
My eyes meet his for a brief moment, but there's no spark of mischief, no trace of the usual fire that would fuel my disdain. It's as if I'm a simple observer, detached from the world around me. The emotions that usually consume me, that drive me to lash out at Arwan, are eclipsed by the weight of my heartache.
He continues on his way, oblivious to the storm of emotions raging inside me. And as he disappears from my sight, a silence descends. It envelops the room, suffocating the once joyous atmosphere that filled the air. The remnants of our laughter and banter now dissipate, leaving behind an oppressive heaviness that weighs on my heart. I sit down next to Liliana, my best friend, who offers her arms to comfort me.
I'm struggling to come to terms with what's just happened.
All I know for sure is that it hurts.
Painfully.