Next morning in the university as usual me and Asher come early, we settled down on our usual seats then start waiting for the lecture to get started. Slowly the room started filling up with girls and boys, likely, after two minutes a moment come when Michiko, Carissa and Savannah entered together in the room and the come forward in this sequence only. And for a change Michiko directly walk towards then sit beside us, which left no more seats vacant in our row though, two more chair can be fixed in that place but since they come late so, seats are not available.
Well, this act of Michiko surprised me and I guess Asher too because after settling down Michiko look at us and her face show confusion...
Michiko: (With raised eyebrows) What happened, close your mouth.
Asher: (Still confused) You... sitting here ummm you know with us and you have never done it.. I mean...
Me: (Confused too) ummm you usually sit at the back but how come today you are here?
Michiko: (Suddenly looking all serious) You don't want me to sit here? You both have problem with me sitting here?
Me/Asher: (Almost yelled) NO!!
Michiko: (Almost in panic) Shhhhh why so loud.
Me: (Rubbing the back of my neck, smiling in) Ummm sorry.
Asher: (With a cheeky smile on her face) Me too sorry.
Michiko: (Muttered in such a low voice, in hope that we won't hear them) These two together, more like a time bomb and can seriously blast it out anytime and anywhere.
Asher & Me: (With fake glare) I heard it.
Michiko: (Mischievous glint in her eyes, smirking) O really, so what? you both are so small that I will catch hold of both of you then crush you like tomatoes.
Hearing this our smiles vanish in instant but before anyone of us could say anything else, the lecturer enter inside the room. After taking her attendance she start teaching us but as usual Asher passed me a piece of paper...
Asher: You know today it feels good and I am really happy about it.
Me: Same here, even though I got socked and surprised seeing her this behaviour that too for the first time.
Asher: Me too but somewhere I also feel sad for Carissa and Savannah, look at them sitting at far corners.
After reading this I look where she mentioned it but I don't feel sad for them and honestly, I don't understand why to feel sad about it. Well, Asher feel sad so, I thought to pretend that I am also sad about it.
Me: Ohhh hmmm I can understand but what can we do now, I mean its their fault no right? coming late in the class.
Mind: Such a professional liar you are, doing drama whenever you get the chance.
Asher: Right.
At this point our paper conversation come to end, soon lecture got over too and now we five walk out of the room together. We walk towards the other room where our next lecture is going to take place, all the time Michiko walk by my side or Asher's and I am happy about it because neither Savannah is close to me nor Carissa.
Just like this two more lectures passed by, we start looking forwards to have our lunch but at this point the main confusion raised inside my head...
now what will happen? Michiko like to eat food in the park, Carissa & Savannah prefer it to be inside the cafeteria... Asher & me wants have it with Michiko but will those two girls leave us alone? Will they join us in the park? Or we have to be with them, leaving Michiko behind?
because of these thoughts I choose to let all of them walk ahead and see where they will settle down, I will adjust accordingly. When we reach just in the front of the cafeteria (which is in front of the park), Michiko turn left and as usual start walking towards the park. Seeing this I stop walking, then look at other three girls and well, to my surprise they start following Michiko's step and this brought a smile on my face because...
Mind: you really don't want choose among them plus I think now Michiko will not feel alone anymore.
Me: Yeah I don't want to choose but I also know Michiko won't be comfortable with them (especially with Savannah and Carissa).
Mind: Ohh yeah I forget about it.
Asher: (Yelling from inside the park) Siya!!! Come
Hearing her voice my trance break, I looked at her then smiled and slightly nodding in positive I start walking inside the park. I settled down beside Michiko, the way we are sitting is in the circular pattern i.e. me, Michiko, Asher, Savannah, Carissa then me again. While we all are eating our lunch, out of blue Carissa started speaking....
Carissa: (Drama) You know I just love this greenery and on the top of that we all together eating lunch here.
Mind: (Rolling eyes) Huhh wasn't it was you who was very uncomfortable to sit here few days back?
Savannah: (Looking down at her food) Such moments I used to enjoy with my mother in childhood days.
Me: (Inside my head) Sometimes hearing her like that I so wanted to hug her, I can totally understand the pain of loosing a loved one.
Asher: Yeah Carissa I can understand how beautiful nature can be.
Hearing this, me and Michiko, look at her for some brief seconds then we shrug our shoulders and again start eating our food.
Asher: Hey, Savannah the moments that you spend with your mother is the happy one then why to feel sad no? You should be happy at least you got some time from her to spend with.
Savannah: Yeah right.
Michiko: (Whispering to me only) What happened to Savannah's mother?
Me: (Whispering) Her mother died when she used to be young.
Michiko: Okay.
Carissa: (With loud, bold and stern voice) What's with you two whispering rather then speaking loudly?
Michiko: (Rudely but in defending mode)How does it matters to you?
Me: Actually she was telling me how good Asher's mother cook the food.
Carissa: Okay.
Asher: (Getting happy instantly and with hope ins her eyes) Really!!
Hearing this Michiko look at me with a scowl on her face and eyebrows raise as if saying...
go ahead answer it, why did you lied and raised false hope in her?
Me: Yes, she just love the taste of food very much.
Hearing this Asher got excited, in the heat of the moment she literally slap Michiko on the shoulder and even though the slap was playful but Michiko face turned serious in flash. However, Michiko I guess, choose to eat her food fast and in fear I guess, Asher too start eating her food fast. as soon as their lunch get over, Michiko literally squeezed her, tackle her down on the grass then start tickling her and all we hear is their sound of laughs.
This whole scene brought a smile on our faces, just after few minutes bell ring and picking our bag we move out of the park then start walking toward the room where our next lecture will take place. Upon reaching their inside the room we settled down on our seats and this time too Michiko sit with us, even Carissa and savannah too sit with us. In short basically, we five occupy the whole row.
Just like this all of the lecture went by, as soon as the last lecture got over we start packing our bags and was about to walk out of the room but our steps halted when the head of the department enter inside the class and ask us to sit down for five minutes. Almost all of us sit down huffingly but some curiosity also present their in our minds, the moment we settled down the she started speaking...
HOD: Dear student sorry for the interruption but I have an important announcement to made, the psychology department is organising military training company for a week in the outskirts of the town.
After a month you all will be attending this camp and it is compulsory to do so as it will be counted in your degree. As the name say you will be doing military training there.
All of the students: Okay ma'am.
After this she walk out of the room, soon all of us also start moving out of the room. While we are moving out of the university, Asher started to talking...
Asher: (Excitedly) Wow, military training camp, a whole week out with friends only. It will be amazing right?
Me: Yeah I think so.
Mind: How can she be so much excited that too every time?
Me: Don't know why but I don't feel excitement anymore, I always feel like I have no more right to feel happy or excitement and whenever such scenarios come I feel guilty about it.
Mind: I guess, sometimes we may have lived so much in the past that we do not feel like doing in the future.
While thinking about all this I reach back home and after keeping my belongings aside, I start getting fresh. I walk out of my room after wearing a casual t-shirt and shorts towards the kitchen to prepare a hot glass of milk with chocolate syrup in it. While I am mixing the syrup in the milk with a spoon, mother walk inside the kitchen and start preparing tea for herself and I guess for granny too. The moment my hot glass of milk got I started too walk out of the kitchen but my steps halted hearing mother's words.
Mother: Hey, wait for few minutes, the tea will be ready soon too then give this one cup of tea to granny in her room then come and in the dining room itself, we will have some me time together.
Me: Okay.
Soon tea got ready too, I go served it too granny in her room. However, while walking out of the room I heard her saying...
Granny: (Taunting tone plus being dramatic too) Huhh what's the matter, today you come to give me the tea.. was your mother sleeping or ill?
Well, I choose to ignore this because for me this is normal and it happens on daily basis. I walk inside the dining room only to found mother already sitting there with her cup of tea and my cup of hot chocolate milk, in front of her on the table. I go and sit in front of her on one of the seat, silently we keep enjoying our drinks...
Mind: (While rolling her eyes) Well, not silently actually, remember I am still here?
Me: (Sarcastically) O yeah, how can I forget you?
Mother: (Yelling) Siya!!!
Me: (Coming back to senses) Yes.
Mother: Why you keep getting zone out?
Me: Nothing much just feeling tired, want to sleep probably.
Mother: Okay, by they way do you know Vihaa is back home?
Me: Ohh now I don't know.
Mother: Ohh no issue but I come to know yesterday only so I thought to tell you now.
Me: hmmm okay.
Soon we finish our drinks, go back to follow our daily schedule i.e. she goes back inside the kitchen to start with the preparation of dinner and I come back inside my room to work on my assignments while listening to music because my voices inside my head getting louder and louder....
Vihaa come back but doesn't inform me about it... huhh why should she does so? she is not your love or committed to you in anyway.
should I call her or not? but if I do so... what if she consider me as a desperate person?
there are so many things to talk about with her but how to do so? I mean what if my initiation to talk considered as my vulnerability by her?
why is it matter who give the tea to her or not, granny should drink her only rather than thinking who bring that for her? why she is always behind mother and taunting her?
people ask me why I keep getting zoning out, now what should I tell them? will they ever understand that I keep talking to me or keep hearing voices talking inside my head?
Well, the music keep playing in the background, I tried to keep my focus on the assignment but these voices keep getting loud and loud inside my head. Soon I started feeling a throbbing headache on the left side of my head, left side eye also paining and I shut it all down, including music. Most likely after ten minutes of complete silence I hear the ringtone of my phone, with my eyes closed only I answered the call...
Me: (Tired) Hello.
Vihaa: Hey, kiddo wassup?
Me: Nothing as such, just resting.
Vihaa: Ohh you sound tired, I thought we could meet up in an hour but it looks like you are not fine.
Me: (Sitting straight immediately) Nothing like that, just let me know where you want to meet okay?
Vihaa: Okay, see you in an hour inside the park.
Me: Okay.
After this she hang up the call, a new hope raise inside me thinking about finally I can speak my heart out in front of her.
but I never thought about that, I won't be getting any chance to speak up because...
TO BE CONTINUED...