Have you sometimes wondered, what your purpose in life is?
In this world where you can do a lot of things, a lot of possibilities and opportunities can be given to a person to create their own identity and calling in this so-called life.
But as for me, I still don't know what that is.
My own purpose. What could it be?
*Crack* *Crack*
As I think about these thoughts again, I stare at the bright crackling flames while sitting on this huge cold stone in the middle of the night.
"Oi, Jin! Are you lost in thoughts again?"
"Come on, Jin! Let's have some fun!"
The people talking to me are my comrades who are enjoying drinking and eating.
"Is it the time for us now to be happy and knock ourselves out with those drinks?"
"Geez. You are always like this. What is wrong with having a little fun once in a while? Life is not a gloomy thing you know? You need to loosen up a bit!" Said another comrade of mine who looks like is about to pass out any second because of drinking too much.
Loosen up a bit, huh? I can never do that in the place where we are right now.
My name is Jin Nakamura. A 24-year-old mercenary serving in the military for five years. The reason why I can't relax even for a second is because...
We are currently in a war.
"Hey, Jin. Are you okay?"
The woman who asked me began to scoot over to my side and then rested her head on my shoulder. Her bright crimson-red hair shines brightly in this dark night and she still has this sweet smell of hers even in a reeking place like this full of men.
"I'm fine, Akane."
Her name is Akane Hasegawa and she has been my girlfriend for four years. The two of us met in the military and since we have been on a lot of missions together, we started to know each other slowly then this is what we became of us.
"For crying out loud! Not this again! Can the two of you get a room? You can have a lovely time there inside that tent! Said another comrade of mine who has been single since birth while pointing at a tent near us.
"Hahaha. You will get one someday." Said Akane while laughing softly.
"Why are you even together with someone like him, Akane? Jin is gloomy all the time and I have never seen him smile even once. Instead of him, how about you started going out with me-."
*SLAM*
Before my jealous comrade of mine finished the things he was saying to us, I punched the ground really hard which got the attention of most of the people who were here.
"Enough."
"Hey, Jin. I'm just joking you know?"
I stood up and slowly walked away to get some fresh air while ignoring my comrades who were telling me to stay with them.
"Sigh..."
As I gave a long sigh, I observed my surroundings while I was walking to check what my other comrades were doing.
Some are having fun and some are just like me who are on alert because there is a possibility that something unexpected would happen.
That's right. In a war like this, even this silent calm night can become the worst day of their life.
"Jin!"
Suddenly, Akane came rushing over to me with a worried look on her face.
"What is it?"
"Do you want to walk together with me?"
Without saying a word, I continued walking around and Akane started to come along with me. Even without saying anything, she knows what is on my mind and that is the reason why she is giving me company even though I left my comrades earlier.
"Hey, Akane."
"Hmm? What is it?"
"Do you know what your purpose in life is?"
"That came out of nowhere."
Akane stopped walking and started thinking about the question I asked her. She stared at the night sky for a moment then she looked at me.
"That's a secret. If you learned what it is, maybe that will ruin our relationship." Akane said with a smirk on her face.
"What can I possibly know something new about you that will be a turn-off for me? Whatever that is, I will still love you."
"Jin..."
Even though those words came out of my mouth. My heart felt empty saying those things to my girlfriend. The reason? I don't know why.
"How about you, Jin? What do you think is your purpose in life?"
"My purpose in my life?"
Returning back the question to me, I began to wonder again. What it is. What is my purpose? Why am I even alive?
But nothing came to my mind.
"My purpose in my life is..."
*BOOM*
Suddenly, A loud explosion hit behind us.
"An enemy attack!" A comrade of us yelled from afar.
"Jin!"
"I know, Akane. Prepare for battle."
As soon as we heard that the opposing side in this war had intruded on our base, all of our comrades started to get their weapons and prepared to counterattack. Akane pulled the knives from her pockets and started to be alert as well.
"Here is your weapon, Jin." Another comrade of ours said as he threw my rifle to me.
"Thanks."
"I'm going to ambush the intruders, Jin. Go check what is going on where the explosion occurred."
"Roger that."
That place where the explosion hit. It was where me and Akane were earlier.
"Hey, Jin."
As soon as I was about to go there, Akane called me.
"Don't die."
After Akane said those words to me, I nodded and left the place to go in the direction where my other comrades were.
"Three attackers coming at three o'clock. Two at twelve and five at nine. There seems to be more to where Akane is going."
While I was rushing towards where the explosion was, I heard the shuffling noise of the grass that was coming from my side.
I quickly aimed at where the noise was coming from and suddenly, a person who I didn't know jumped at me.
*BANG*
I didn't hesitate and pulled the trigger to kill the man.
"One down. I need to hurry."
I ran even faster and killed the enemies who tried to ambush me.
*BANG*
How many of them were killed by my own hands?
*BANG*
Three, five, seven...
A lot of them were killed mercilessly. People who are fighting for a different cause. Some have loved ones, families, or even a special person for them.
But I didn't feel any sympathy for them at all.
"Jin! Help!"
When I finally came to where the explosion was earlier, I was shocked to see what I witnessed on the scene.
The fun and relaxing scenery that was there earlier turned into ashes with my fallen comrades with their own blood covered on their dying bodies.
"KILL!!!"
*BANG*
When another of the attackers jumped at me, I shot them in the head before they got a chance to kill me.
"What happened? Answer me!" I asked the person who was jealous of my relationship with Akane earlier.
"I-I'm sorry..."
The man said his final dying words as he held my hand which started to turn cold while I was looking at his lifeless eyes.
"INCOMING!!!"
Someone yelled and pointed an upcoming bombshell that was about to hit where I was standing. I picked up the sniper rifle that my fallen comrade had and aimed the gun at the incoming shell then pulled the trigger.
"Lock On."
*BOOM*
A ray of light was produced right in front of my eyes as well as shockwaves that made some of my comrades fall from the ground.
"..."
I stared blankly at the dead bodies of my comrades as well as those who were scared at the scene of their friends dying. Some are still trying to fight but in their eyes, I know that they were desperate to escape from death. All of those who are still alive are clinging to this so-called hope so their life will not end.
In my mind I am thinking, what were they fighting for?
In just a few seconds I realized, that those people who continue to fight with a blazing soul don't want to die because they still have a purpose.
A purpose to still live on in this world and go on.
"So that can also be a purpose in life."
"Grenade incoming!"
A grenade was thrown right in front of me and in just a few seconds it was about to explode with me and the comrades near me.
But even with death right just in front of me. I am still thinking about it.
What my purpose really is?
With the things I had in mind, I gave up thinking about it.
"Jin! What are you doing?!"
*Clack*
I dropped my gun and grabbed the grenade that was about to explode. I started running away as quickly as I could so that the only victim of this one grenade was myself.
A few seconds started to feel like hours to me. I could feel the grenade slowly exploding as its shrapnel started to sink into my hand. The only thing that is on my mind as I am about to die is...
Hopefully, in my next life, I can know what my true purpose is.
*BOOM*
The time that felt like an hour to me turned into seconds away from my death as the grenade exploded with my body. The world that I know disappeared right in my very eyes and that is when I know already.
That I died.