Looking in the rear-view mirror one last time taking a deep breath. It was a hard journey to get here. To be honest I am still not really sure I want to be here in the first place but it really wasn't my own choice. I'm Analeigh Alderman. I just turned 23 and got out of the special forces in the army. Well I didn't get out so much as got transferred because of my dad.
The world has changed a lot from what it once was. The government has changed a lot. Disease was on the rise in a massive outbreaks. The human population was tanking down worldwide. The government enlisted greatest scientist minds mainly my parents and some of their colleagues. My parents took the world by storm the work they did was hands down a miracle. They saved millions of lives.
The world actually decided to revert back to some old traditions. Women were no longer suggested to work unless they wanted to. Families were able to live beyond paycheck to paycheck. There were tests that based your intellectual level to put you into a career better suitable to your natural level. Of course you had to be tested for other things as well to be placed in college or your job. You have the right to choose what you wanted to be however based on scores and exams, it became a challenge to change.
Electronics went both up and down. Security cameras in most places were no longer around as much. Appliances were still to the fullest grades they could be. It's the very definition of a mixture of living in the future and in the 50's-60's without all the hate and segregation. States had more freedom to choose their rules however the government did step in from time to time. Since the human population was cut down to pretty much a fourth give or take of what it was. Scientists had to make sure fertility was not a problem from all the previous illnesses that had happened. Definitely didn't need no Hand Maids Tale situation.
Everyone was required to get examined and certain tests done based on fertility. This being such a fragile issue the starting age to get tested was 18 as most is pretty invasive. The states and government all agreed to this you even got ranked into certain categories. Since females are the more important in this matter. All females who are found to be able to have more children safely are high on the food chain and most sought out for marriage material for the higher up or richer families.
You can only have a certain number of kids based on your occupation as to not stress families beyond their means. Farmers were actually encouraged to have more children though they were the only exception. The better the job you have the number of children you are encouraged to have or limit yourself to. Unfortunately I ranked very well in this matter. Which did not go well with my father when I told him the career path I have selected.
My parents' I.Q's are scarily high. Something I have gained from them as well. They were so proud I was ranked so high in academics. I loved my mothers field of science she was into herbology, biology, and chemistry. She was mainly the one making the medicines to help she always said we owe mother nature for the gifts of plants, trees and flowers. For which life would cease to exist. Not just for oxygen but for saving us as well. I have her talent with these things.
However no matter how hard I tried I could never get myself to follow this path I loved learning and creating new weapons and fighting. I was very active and loved to be challenged. When I told my parents at 16 I enlisted to the army. My mother was happy for me as long as this was what I wanted. My father was so disappointed and angry.
He told me I was throwing my life away. When I got tested at 18 he was so excited because now he had a bargaining chip to change me from any dangerous missions seeing as I was now consider delicate cargo as a future baby machine to whoever he felt he could marry me off to as long as they were to be considered the best and worthy in his eyes.
I lost my mother at 16 after I completed my training. There was some huge problem at their lab. Which was scary seeing as how this lab is about 6 football stadiums wide and goes down deeper than anything I've ever seen. Its solid concrete about 25 floors down below lobby level and about 20 floors up above lobby level.. However all offices stop on the negative 17th floor the rest is all maintenance. My mother died in some lab accident my father still refuses to talk to me about. All I know is she needed to be cremated as her face was half melted.
My father never fully recovered from losing her. They were childhood sweethearts. Best friends all through school. Next door neighbors. She was my dads whole life source. It made it more difficult that I am my others carbon copy twin we look exactly alike except I'm not blonde I have dad's mixture of light and dark brown hair. I know how hard it was for him to let me be away in the army but at the same time I know he needed time to get over mom's death and he couldn't do that with looking at me.
That did not stop him from being over protective and hovering. I was always watched. I was all he had now. We disagree on many things. I know he wants what's best for me and will do everything he can to help and protect me. I just wish he would throw a couple of my wants in the mix. I don't have the same goals as he has made for me. I never wanted to go into the field as my mother but right now he needs me and no one else can do the job I can. I know I've looked and failed.
Dad has always made it clear that he will be picking my future husband as he needs to meet certain standards. That is something I agree with him on. At least he is willing to work with me on that. He does take my wants into consideration on this as he says because he wishes for me to have what he had with mom. Only problem is I never even had a crush on a guy. I had many confess to me. I had every opportunity to date. No one to really make me look twice. I have lots of males friends I grew up with in school and childhood working here in dads lab.
I am at the age where dad thinks I should start settling down. While I am working here I still can remain a soldier status however I feel like I just got degraded to scientist. Most people consider it an upgrade to work in a top confidential lab government facility. I am not one of those people. I was traveling the world on secret missions saving lives. This was never what I wanted to do. However if I didn't give in and come dad threatened to have me honorably discharged. Even the President is under my dads command so that's it.
All freedom. All joy. All the hopes I had for my life are now gone. I feel so lost even now. I feel so defeated. I can't even fake happiness. I have no will to. No matter how hard I try. Now matter how hard I had worked. Dad will never understand. He doesn't want to. Without mom here in my corner I come to realize the truth. I am one hundred percent on my own and alone in whatever cage my dad is happy to build around me. I no longer see the point in anything. I wish so badly to run away but it would do no good my dad is known world wide and I would just end up on the first plane, train, boat, car or even bike back here.
Walking into the security gate and showing my badge everyone for the most part knows me. A lot of people smile and nod. Probably to be polite. Some are giving me weird looks. I'll admit although I am very smart. Look like my mama with slight differences. I do not look like the common type to belong here. Some mistake me for trophy wife as I like to call them or the breeders the women tested amazing on fertility they never have to work again a day in their lives.
Walking into the human resources they gave me a badge that lets me through everything around here. As far as I know only a few people are allowed down to the negative levels. The underground labs. Where mom's section was and luckily no one besides me and a few old friends have been allowed access. Now I think I am the only one besides security with their buzzer at the entrance of the floor to the levels 15-17.
It was the deal I made with my dad. I would come with no argument as long as I worked alone in my mothers lab with no outside or inter distractions. I have no problem being a consultant and helping out others in the fields who would need it but I will be on my own and have full access to all things plant or chemistry related. As long as I go to the team meetings once a month or as needed, check in every now and then and help when asked to he agreed happily.
I walked into the cafeteria to get a drink. I need more caffeine and coffee isn't going to cut it. I grabbed two tall cans of cherry coke and some little candies. I slide them in my little purse bag to use later while opening one of the tall cans now. "Ana?" Turning around to find two faces smiling at me. "Ana you're really here." Getting squished into a hug. I can't help but smile and hug back. "Hi Jaxon." I tell him prying him back off me only to get squished into another male hug.
I could pick this guy out anywhere especially by the cologne he always wears. The one I give him every time he runs low. My best friend in the whole world who followed me here to Hell just so I wouldn't suffer alone. Also my other best friend is his fiancé and she works here so he gets a win-win. "Happy first day bestie." "Well happy two weeks here and without one fight I know what restraints that must have took." Jace Parker my partner in crime.
"I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!" I get grabbed again. "I missed you to Si." Sienna Locklin my sister from another mister. I'd be lost without her. I introduced her to Jace in high school and they claimed love at first sight. I would give my life for them. I'd be lost without them. Luckily they are compatible in the fertility match. Jace wants five kids and Sienna just wants three at least they get to have the option to choose. Thousands of people world wide don't get that option we have.
You would think if the population was really a worry you wouldn't be so restrictive. However when it comes to resources and the means to actually take care of the kids. Also calculating how many could die from childbirth and the other wrong things that can happen. I guess it's better to be this safe when there is no other choice to have. I know animals and other species have these issues and I for one don't want to see us as endangered species destined for extinction. Then again on the other hand with me having to be stuck here now maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
Working here is not so bad you can't really talk freely about your project unless the other person has access to it or you are being a consultant but gossiping about others is still a big thing here. Working in this place is the highest in any working field anyone can get. This is the White House status, biggest of the business monopoly game system. The Hollywood of dreams. This place is where all the wealthy people send their money. Even Janitors have a higher salary than some highly classed business men or doctors.
Some people are great at their job here and make huge advances that help mankind worldwide. Most do odd and ethically questionable projects that will help us all get a first-class ticket to hell. It's rumored that aliens of other species have been found and experimented on for research. This, however, is true. I actually seen a few pictures of some with my parents when I was younger. We traded some technology for some herbs that were able to grow on their planet for the same problems we had disease. They were of all different shapes, colors and sizes. I haven't seen or heard anything like that here again since mom passed away and dad turned into vault. Very few people knew about it.
"Are you nervous on your first day?" Sienna asked me with a beautiful smile still clinging to my arm. "Please babe Ana never gets nervous." This was true. I am not one to scare easy or run off. "Seriously though are you ok? Do I need to start hiding the sharp objects?" Jace asked only these two know how badly I don't want to be here. "No I'm fine. I have to be." I shrugged.
Jaxon looked confused before he started. "You're dad has been floating around happily for the last two weeks bragging about you coming in. A lot of us are so happy you're here. I was always hoping you would come and take over your moms place. At least I will get to collaborate on a few projects with you like old times." Jaxon was probably one of the sexiest medium brown skinned man most of us have ever seen and was beyond smart. People everywhere would die for his skin tone. We went through a lot in school together and have been good friends for years. I honestly don't understand why he's not married with at least three kids by now.
"There she is!" A voice I really wasn't ready to hear yet. Turning around with a fake half smile. "Hi dad. Hi Aunt Ellie." "OH MY WORD! How you have just sprouted from a young weed to a beautiful flower. I haven't seen you in ages. You look so beautiful." Ellie said hugging her tightly. Yup Ellie Millow one of my parents old friends. She always had a thing for my dad but kept a respectable distance for even a year after mom died to give them both time to grieve. She thinks and does things just like my dad they have grown close. Even though he is still hung up on mom I'm actually shocked they are not together no matter how desperately Ellie tries.
We are kind of close in the sense I know she wants what's best for me. According to her logic if it's not my fathers plan for me then my plans are wrong. She is not one I trust with important information we all know just how fast she will tell my dad. My mothers sister on the other hand I can tell her anything. She is the last piece of my mom I have left. She is just like her. They were twins after all. Paige Holden. I have another best friend that Aunt Paige raised like her own son. She never was able to have kids she got pregnant when I was five but due to some accident both her husband and her baby died she had miscarried. I wish I had met him she never introduced us or our dad. She and mom were super quite about it. After the accident I never heard a word about him again.
After depression she never tried for another baby again. She is fully capable physically but not in any other way. Quinn Jones is like my brother. Growing together always with the family. I was always with aunt Paige if mom was at work and even when she wasn't working she was with Quinn, Paige and I. Quinn is the head of all security here. Nothing happens here without him knowing it. Only dad and Quinn have the cards to open everything here. I can too except dads floor. Dad loves Quinn like a son and has kept him close after he completed military training with me dad locked him out of going with me and drug him back here to handle the forces here. Quinn has always been the strong silent type on regular bases. Just not with me.
His best friend is Edwardo Saunders. Good ol' Eddie is the biggest prank artist and joker known to man. He is also the funniest person I have ever met or heard of. I can't believe he is qualified to hold a gun. Though to this day he is a master marks men. It's true when they say opposites attract when his bestie is Quinn. Eddie is Quinn's right hand and second here. Much to dads dismay he is actually smart and great at his job. Quinn and Eddie met the same time I met Quinn he was at a park and we all three played together while Jace was sick.
He was an orphan and snuck out from the church home. My auntie Paige picked him up went inside came out and said to all of us were going to her home and making a small party. Eddie's mom was so touched she joined and we have all been friends ever since. Looking around we were making quite a little scene as people who walked by tried and failed to pretend to not notice us.
Dad hugged me tight. "I wish you would have let me picked you up and help you settle in." "It's ok dad I know how busy you are this time of year. After all it's the whole reason I'm here." I replied in an emotionless tone he didn't even notice. "I'm still happy to have you here. I really missed you kid. We are having dinner tonight so clear your schedule. Meet me at Blooming Rose at 6p.m under my name. It's so good to see you Ana." Dad admired me for a moment making blush and went on to his work.
"That was weird." Quinn whispered in my ear out of no where. Looking around I noticed all my other friends have left probably to get back to work and not get scolded. Even Aunt Ellie was gone. Hugging tightly I just wanted to cry. "I know what you're thinking but you can't do that here. Not now." Quinn whispered. He was another safety net I only had about six of those left I my life. Mostly anyone else would sell me out to be in good graces with dear old dad. The power behind that man is scary.
"You want me to walk with you down there. Show you around a bit. Nothing has changed." "No that's ok I know you got a hundred other things to do. I know my way." "See you for lunch?" Quinn asked. "Are you going to the dinner tonight?" "Yeah I'll be there. Uncle told me this morning." "Do you know why we are having a dinner? He's not one for gatherings." "That's for sure. No, I don't know why maybe he just wants to spend some time with you. He was really excited for you to finally work here." Quinn told me with a small barely there smile.
"You really believe that?" I scoffed quietly. "Look I know Uncle is a hard ass and it's infuriating how we both got here ok. In the end we both know he still loves us and we are all he has left. I get his point so let's try to keep an open mind maybe with his old age he is changing. One can only hope. Besides if we do a good job now then when passes away we can finally have enough credentials to leave and do what we want with no one telling us we can't." Quinn said sadly.
Although neither one of us is ready for that day. We just long for freedom to do and be what we choose. Instead we're slaves and yet so many people admire us and wish for our lives. Ignorance truly is bliss. If only they knew what happened behind the scenes they would be thankful for the life they are living. "See you at lunch?" Quinn asked one more time. "No I'm going to work through to get out of here faster if I have to go to mom and dads special place then I actually have to at least get a sundress on."
"Damnit yeah I better go run back to the barracks and grab some damn slacks and a shirt. See you at 6. You got a ride?" "Yeah I'm getting a cab." "Alright. See ya." Quinn ran over to the other guards who going to change shifts. Eddie and Quinn had their own studio apartments in the barracks since they were the heads of the show. Those lodgings were all placed South East of the facility. It gave them space and access to handle everything better.
Waiting at the elevator I got another scare. "Excited to see your office?" "DAMMIT JAXON!" I said with a small jump hand over my chest after smacking him in his. "Sorry. I'm Sorry." Jaxon choked out in laughter. "I didn't know you were in your own little world. I just wanted to go down with you. There's something I need to talk to you about on the way down." He smiled again. "I thought you were here to talk." I asked him after getting into the elevator.
"I can't really say or give it you right now." Jaxon motioned to the cameras. One of the only places we actually had cameras in. Only for when people needed help. Otherwise it was against company policy to have open cameras it all had to be labeled for research purposes only also they were in the entrances only to show who comes in and out. Cameras were small and used by the projects. Certain times you had to give up your cell phone on certain projects as well. Nodding to him I understood.
The elevator stops at floor 15 and I have to switch to the other one which can only be accessed by certain staff members badge and or Eddie who was happily smiling to us. "I've missed the hell out of you sweetness. Hi Jax!" Eddie waved happily. Once you enter here you go to the other elevator next to it to get to my floor. "Hey Eddie. Oh it does my heart good to see you!" I squeezed that man so tight. No one can ever not be happy around Eddie. He's a man who can lift your spirits down to your soul.
"I'll see you at lunch on Wednesday for lunch with Quinny. That way it gives all these weird asses two whole days to believe you are here then get you to ourselves for an hour." Eddie said with a wink. Ana stopped and looked between Jaxon and Eddie who were just smiling happily to her. "Do you need to let him sign in or something?" Ana asked knowing his clearance shouldn't be cleared with Eddie's approval. "Nope actually your dad came and gave him access since he is one of the few people who will be your biggest consult. He will need access to you in your lab since some of the projects have a rare chance of preformed down here." Eddie said with a shrug.
It made a lot of sense. Jaxon is the head in his department and floor. His floor is just under my dads. His parents are very proud they actually work in the parts on the lower grade levels. Her dad worked on the 20th floor. Jaxon ran the engineering and biological weapons and cures floor on the 19th floor. Ana was starting to feel proud. Sienna was one of the heads in the chemistry sections for new virus's and other DNA testing. All of her friends were getting to the top of their fields.
"Well that explains the new badge card HR gave me today." Jaxon said looking down at it. "Well come on then." I said as the doors opened to the other elevator. I hate these things. I always feel claustrophobic in only this damn thing. After getting out they walked half way down the hall. He scanned his card to only get denied. This made Ana feel better. Dad kept his word making her smile. I scanned mine and it let out a green light and happy noise.
It didn't bother Jaxon he was more than happy to let her have her own work space. He has a good idea how hard it must be for her to be here. She never wanted this. He overheard her dad scold her repeatedly over the phone secretly from his office sometimes about what he would do if she didn't come and under his conditions it broke his heart. Jaxon has loved her since they were young. This was never what he wanted for her. He just wanted her happiness even if it didn't include him.
Walking into the lab he knew she wouldn't turn on all the lights she worked better in dim lightening. She hated lots of lights. The office and lab was huge it covered over half the corridor just on one side and the on the right side was broken down into ten other mediums sized storage rooms and other offices with one bathroom on the right and one-bathroom plus one shower in her in her lab office. There was a certain section in there that was a direct office with a door that didn't look like it was attached. Sounded just like her mother. Plants, trees everywhere there was even a little self-built pond her father had made for her mother to watch the floating flowers and vines and little floating candles.
"It's still like a tiny little jungle in here with lab tables." Jaxon laughed to himself remembering coming in here with her mom from time to time. He missed her as well she was a great mentor. "Alright Jax. What's up." Ana said as she powered up the laptop. Luckily she has her cell phone to connect to the internet. There was so much power down here but no signal for internet. For some reason only her and her mothers phones worked down there. Paige was a genius when it came to these types of things.
"I used to spend a lot of time with your mom down here. It's almost a little hard being back down here. You are just so much like her you know. Not just looks but heart and mind as well." Jaxon said smiling to her. "I have something that I've kept from your dad for a few years. I was only to give this to you when you started to work here." Jaxon said holding his finger. "You actually kept a secret from dad. Wow I'm impressed Brooks." Ana smiled at him.
"Yeah I'm a real rebel." He teased in a cocky tone placing a box the length of her torso as well as width. Looking at him confused. "This is." Taking a deep breath. "This is from your mom. She said you would know how to unlock it also gave me this letter to give to you." "You never opened any of it or read it?" Ana looked at him curiously, "No I did not. It was meant for you and you alone. I wouldn't take this from you Ana even you know that." "I know I was just pulling your leg. Thank you for this Jaxon. This means a lot to me. It means even more to me that you actually kept this from dad." Ana said looking at the beautiful box in front of her.
"Give me some credit now you know me better than that by now." He told her in fake shock. "This box is incredible. I never seen anything like it. It's almost like tribal in a way." Ana said admiring it. "Yeah I thought the same thing. Its gorgeous in a dangerously curious kind of way. Who knows what curses it may bestow unto the chosen one who opens it." Jaxon teased her. "Well anyways I thank you." Looking at him. He was looking down for a bit.
"Is there something else you want to say to me." I asked him. He looked so nervous a little let down and scared. "Yeah I do. I've been thinking about the future a lot. I also have been talking to your dad. I know you don't want to be here Analeigh it's not a secret between us. We both know if it was truly up to you. Then you wouldn't be anywhere near here. I just want you to know that I'm both happy and sad you're here. I've really miss you all of us have. I am just truly sorry from the bottom of my heart as to how you got here." Jaxon told me with a sad smile.
"Thank you Jax. I've honestly missed all of you guys too. I was excited to see you guys hell even your families. I do wish it was different circumstances though. I know how hard you guys all work to get here. I know all of the amazing things you guys do. I mean hell you're the future senior staff. It's just unlike you guys this was never in my plans. I even feel bad because Jace followed me here." "Yeah but I mean that was a win his future wifey is one of the people he gets to put under his protection he scored." Jaxon let out a laugh as she did.
"Look Ana there's something you ought to know." Jaxon started until the walkie went off. "Jax man Hunters here for you says you're needed in your section they are waiting on you man." "Alright thanks Eddie. Here keep this. You're going to need it to talk to Eddie. For some reason most of our technology doesn't work well after level negative 15." "Are you sure you're ok Jax?" "Yeah I'll ugh. I'll just see you later. Have a great first day. From the both of us." He pointed to the letter from my mom as he hurried out the door.
Looking around the room I felt… at peace. I've always loved dim darkness and being alone. I've never felt alone while being alone. There were plenty of times I'll be surround by people and the feeling of loneliness would be suffocating. It felt like the room was alive. There was so much life in here. Pulling out the snacks I got form earlier and the drinks. The water bottles I took from the place I am currently calling home.
Mom had a cabin her family owned out in the woods dad had forgotten all about so he told me to have it. It's not too far from here but far enough to give me the peace I need. Its literally in the middle of nowhere. I stocked it up and moved in this past weekend. I'm a good 45 minutes from society and maybe a 25 minute car ride from here. That is true happiness for me. Looking down at the box and the letter I felt the happy sadness you get when you miss someone you love. I opened the letter only to hear her words in my head and feel her standing next me.
My sweet Analeigh,
I am so sorry that you are reading this because it means I am no longer here. I am sorry for any anger, hurt and confusion you will have. Things around the here have been difficult and I have this feeling something bad may happen. I thought I would write this out as you are just finishing training and maybe the last form of contact I will have with you for a while. You're father and I have been having some major disagreements with some work colleagues I think you will meet in the future. You must never ask your father about our friends trust me they will find you. The years have really changed your fathers world view but please I want you to always remember how much both he and I love you. I know your father has his goals for you. I just want you to remember to be selfish once in a while. There will come a point where you will stand up for yourself or maybe others. One day you may have to draw that line between the two of you no matter how much I pray that point never comes I never want you to lose that good heart you have. Your moral compass has never been wrong and I want you to keep true to that and yourself. It breaks my heart knowing I won't hold you one last time. I won't be able to baby sit my grandchildren or even help you get ready on your wedding day. I just want you to know I am always right here with you. I am with you dancing in the kitchen cooking our comfort foods. I am with you driving down the old roads singing our hearts out loud and proud every inch and mile of the way. I am standing with and by you every step of your journey still cheering you on. I've created a lot of things in my life and gave life to thousands of other people and things. I just want to thank you my baby girl. You are the best thing I have ever created because in the end it was you who gave my whole life meaning and made it worth living. I pray when the time comes you start really living your life the way it's meant to be lived.
Loving you forever and always
Mom.
Tears falling silently from her eyes. Taking her best friend half hearted necklace out of the envelope. Holding the one hanging around her neck. Turning to the box she started to look at it. There is only one way to open it. I just got to figure out how. Mom showed me this one time. When I was little she said it was a special way a special bond. Examining it covered in dust she took a special paint brush and started dusting carefully not pushing to hard anywhere.
This thing hasn't been opened in years. Jaxon must have kept it hidden down here since dad hasn't had the strength to come down here at all. Examining it she found a little small opening like a tear drop small opening. On the bottom was the writing 'Blood is thicker than water but it doesn't make a family. "THAT'S IT!" She put an alcohol pad on a needle and then her finger tip. Poking herself and wiping off the first drop she held her finger tip over and dropped a few pieces into it. The box lid snapped open.
'Mom you beautiful genius. Let's see dad try to get into it now.' Looking inside she found journal after journal. There had to be at least two and half dozen in there. Looking down and then looking around. 'I don't have the strength for this right now. That letter was enough. I really need to get everything ready. Sighing deeply she started to clean her work stations. Dusting around and mopping everything thoroughly. Making sure all the life around her was in good and stable condition.
'Wow.' Looking in front of her was the tallest man she even seen. Looking closer she realized it wasn't moving. No sign of life period. It was against the wall like decoration. Walking up to it she realized the skin was hard and cold. Must be life like a special statue. It was all dark grey with a special metal mask. It looked like a high-ranking warrior being. The armor was incredible. It looked like it was the only thing cleaned in here. The material must be special so its easily self-cleaned. Looking up she realized he was under a vent. No wonder he is cleaned and cold.
"You my friend are so… beautiful. Majestic even. Well with you here I definitely won't feel like no ones here anymore. It's just you and me now friend. Welp let's get back to work. After a long day she was surprised how fast it went by. She still had so much to do it would be a long week in deed. Getting her things she walked back up to the beautiful man like statue. "Welp see you tomorrow friend." Walking out of the room she went straight to the elevator feeling eyes on her the whole time.
Watching her from the dark was easy. Knowing sooner or later someone would come. Now the important thing is keeping certain past secrets hidden in the past. There was too much riding on the future for her to find now not knowing her true intentions. As quickly as possible reaching the box taking the bottom book and closing it shut. Some things need to stay hidden in the night.
Walking into the restaurant she knew better than to have a certain hopes of her father changing a little. Yet hope springs eternal. Wishing just once in awhile to not be disappointed she started blaming herself now for being disappointed in him. It wasn't even his fault anymore seeing as that's who he was especially now. He never put out any intention of the hopes she secretly carried and got let down every time they never happened. Why do we as kids always feel the guilt from the parents even when most of the time they never put it there. We still get let down.
Quinn was already at the table talking to Jaxon and his parents. Her father was among them laughing. Well at least that part is new. "Seems like I'm disturbing your party." Ana told them with a smile. "Analeigh! How was your first day kiddo?" Her father asked pulling her into a tight hug. "It was productive I still got like a million things to do before I can get really started. But it was a little fun I guess. It made me miss mom though."
"I know honey. I miss her too but just remember no matter what we both love and are proud of you." "Dad are you sick?" "What no. I'm fine. Why do I look weird?" "No just. Nothing. Forget it. I guess it's just been a little long since I got to see you this close." "Yeah well get used to it now." He teased. "I'm shocked Ellie isn't here." Ana said as she sat down. "Well tonight is just for specific family sweetheart. Aunt Paige is out of town but sends her love. She'll be back in about a month or two." Her dad said as Quinn nodded as he already knew.
"You look so beautiful Paige. It's so good to see you after so long." Mrs. Brooks told me happily from across the table. "Thank you. I swear you look younger every time I see you." Ana said with a smile. This woman must bathe from the fountain of youth she literally looks in her early 30's even after her 50's. I must learn her ways in a few years. "You always make me feels so young." Mrs. Brooks said with a blushing smile.
"We are so proud of all the hard work you did. You know we kept up on you with your ol' man there while you were away. You have come so far and turned into quite the young woman. We are just so thrilled you are back and will be working with us." Mr. Brooks told her beaming with pride. I remember him a lot from when we were younger. He is a very hands on father and just all around good guy for the most part. He was on my parents teams that helped in the crisis.
"Thank you papa Brooks." It's what all the kids called him growing up making him smile deeply to old happy memories. "Wow long time since I heard that. Should have saw it coming with you." He winked to me I will never call him anything else in my life. Jaxon was oddly quite tonight. Quinn looked at me as I did him neither of us knew what happened.
After one of the best steaks I've had after leaving the army dad turned to look at me. "Analeigh you have come so far in life and I am just so happy you are home working with family where you truly belong. I am so proud of you. Time is such a precious thing and I don't' want to see you miss out on anything else. There is so much more in life I wish for you to have. Happiness, joy, love. Which is why we have all come to an understanding." Looking around the table as all the adults have huge smiles on their face.
My stomach started to turn. Looking around Quinn looked like he understood where this was going and Jaxon just looked sad and a little guilty. " Analeigh I know you and I have always had an understanding with who your future partner in life may be and believe you me there have been plenty of amazing offers coming to me for you. I want you to know I took your every concern to heart in making this choice for you and I don't think there is a better choice out there for you other than him."
Am I really supposed to believe he took anything I ever said I believed to be important in my life to heart. Why now. "Which is why we have arranged for you to marry Jaxon. There is no set day or time that will be up to you. Just don't take too long." My dad told me as he smiled widely at me as well as the Brooks. I sat there with Quinn in disbelief. I couldn't have been more shocked if someone came and high fived me in the face with a chair.
"Well aren't you going to say something?" Mrs. Brooks asked excitedly in a small squeal. She was so happy smiling at me. "I don't really know what to say. I didn't think anything like this would happen on my third night home or the first time seeing any of you face to face in long time." It was starting to feel awkward. "Not to sound rude or anything but um. Do I get a say in any of this. I mean this is so sudden. Do I get a choice about this?" "Well of course you do honey. You guys get to decide the venue, guests, attire all that stuff. Of course we have a few suggestions but in the end it's whatever you two want." Dad said as the parents were happily nodding in agreement. Obviously they didn't get it.
"I want to thank all of you for coming out tonight to welcome me home it was such an… interesting night. It really brought to life some things for me. I just need you all to excuse me. It's been long few days and all. I just really need to retire for the night (and get some air)." I mumbled the last part. "No. Please don't get up. Goodnight." I rushed out of there so fast ignoring Quinn the whole way. Jaxon looked so defeated I needed to get out of there.
I was in front of my car trying to catch my breath I didn't know was stolen so hard from me. How can he do this to me so soon. I thought I had at least some time left. I think I'm going to be sick. That is probably what Jaxon was trying to tell me earlier. OH GOD! What if he already has a lover. How the hell could I get him out of this. My mind is reeling.
"ANALEIGH! Analeigh wait. Please talk to me. Don't leave yet." I've never seen Jaxon beg before. "Jaxon. Jaxon I'm so sorry my dad did this to you. I mean this is what you were trying to tell me earlier. Oh God you looked so defeated. I honestly thought you might have had a girlfriend. Look I want you to know I will find a way out of this for you. You must have had so many hopes." "ANALEIGH!" Jaxon got my attention reaching out grabbing both my hands.
"Ana you have always been one of my best friends every good thing in my life was only good because you have been in it. I don't have any girlfriend or secret lover I know for a fact we are both single. Don't feel guilty about anything please. Look we know everything about each other for the most part, our tempers different in a way that works well for us. We are both honest, funny, respectable, loyal hell Ana no one gets me the way you do. We know each other way more then you think we do and you know it. I have always been there for you. I cook and help out around the house. I'm a family man you know this. You been around me enough to know." Jaxon told her still looking into her eyes holding her hands.
"When you told your dad about your criteria for a husband answer me this. Don't my qualities follow what you need and want?" He was right. On paper of my check list he matched perfectly hell he was even hot. He is tall and well built and all of those things. People respect him out of loyalty and pride. According to what I told dad Jaxon was it. Putting my hands over his heart.
"Analeigh you had men coming at your dad every which way. It wasn't your dad who asked me about this. I asked him. I came to him and begged him to let me be with you. I begged him because I knew no matter how badly you didn't want him to he would have the last say when it comes to you. I was too much of a coward to ever come forward to you and I regret that deeply that this is how you have to hear me finally confess how deeply I have been in love with you for years on top of years Ana."
A small tear rolling down his cheek. Hand still covering over mine on his heart and the other lower with my other hand. "All I was hoping for was a chance to court you. To be with you even for just a little bit. After my confession to your father he said he would think about it. Next thing I know he set up the arrangement. I was so happy until I realized everything I was probably taking away from you. Just like your dad. I feel like I was stripping you even more away from your dreams. I swear to you though Ana that is not my intention I just want to make you happy like we've always been together."
"I want to be your best friend and your husband. I want to give you happiness. I want to help you reach any dreams I can with what we can. I will always put your needs ahead of my own. I don't want to be another man letting you down in life. It kills me to see disappointment on you. It guts me when your sad and hurt. I can't take knowing that I probably help put that on you. Just please Analeigh think about this and let me know what you truly think. If you find it in your heart that you don't really believe I can be the man you need me to be then we will just tell your dad that. Just please really think this over. For everything we ever been through don't we owe each this much to at least think it through no matter what you decide I will always support and respect your decision." Jaxon told her looking into her eyes waiting for an answer.
The best part of this is he isn't a stranger. He's right he is close to me already. I've never had a crush or admired anyone before. How the hell would I even know how he feels right now. Confessing years of pent-up energy and high emotions. This must be hard as hell on him. It hurts me physically and emotionally watching the tears in his eyes. The fear of rejection in his face. I never knew he felt so strongly for me. Out of all my friends he is the only one who never felt like a brother but I still kept him close to me. There has to be a reason for this.
He really is a brave smart man. There is no down side to being with him. I may not feel romantically connected to him now but hell millions of people grow to love each other everyday I'm sure I can too. I do love him. Maybe not the same way but life is always changing. I don't see how I'm going tot be do better than a sexy mountain like scientist who can build incredible things. Who is sweet, smart, honest, loyal, funny and have as good history as we do. I know he won't rush anything. The dating could be fun never had one before.
"What if. What if in this chance you get a deeper look into me and find out you were wrong in your feelings for me and want out?" I couldn't look at him asking him why was I nervous for a response. "I won't. I swear I have loved you this long and every day it only gets more. I know once I actually have you to myself it will only grow into something more beautiful with you Ana. You have no idea how special you truly are or how much you always mean to me. What if in time I never grow to love you. What if I never get in the same page as he is. Will he resent me will I resent him? All these thoughts running through my head. Taking me chin and making me look into his eyes it felt like he was looking into my soul. Everything went quiet. "Ok." I said quietly. "Ok?" Jaxon was now confused. "Ok. I'm in."