Chereads / When The Night Bleeds / Chapter 18 - Chapter 18: Jaxon Confessions

Chapter 18 - Chapter 18: Jaxon Confessions

After hanging up the phone for the second time she got everything ready for her special guest. It was still noon when he came walking through the door. "Hey babe." He told her coming up with a hug. "How you holding up. Are you ok?" "Yeah I'm as good as I'm going to get I guess. I made us some tea could we just chill on the couch and watch a movie?" She asked him with her eyes looking like she been crying and not sleeping for days. "You called me from work. To come lay on the couch and drink tea with you?" He asked her confused. "Well you know I need some rest and I know you haven't been resting well either I though we could nap on the couch together. You know what. It was dumb I'm sorry I know your busy." She waved off about to get up.

 

"NO! No I mean no. You've been through so much lately. I'm just in shock you called and reached out to me. You-. I hate to say this knowing how crappy you feel. I'm just happy you reached out to me. You can always call on me no matter the reason and I will come running to you. I mean it Analeigh. I love you. I'll do whatever you want me to do. I'll do anything to help ease this mess we got going on. It's you and me now baby." He said coming up adjusting to her covering them both up on the couch as he held her to lay on part of his side. "This is nice." He said flipping through movies. "Want to watch Labyrinth your man Bowie might help out. OR Gerald Butler Phantom of the Opera?" He asked kissing the side of her head again as she cuddled him.

 

"Well I do love a man who knows me so well. I think Phantom of the Opera is more fitting today though." She chuckled to herself. "Here I wanted you to try this. It's new and delicious." She said taking her cup of tea to his mouth taking a sip turned into a huge gulp. "That is amazing." Before he knew it he drank the whole thing. It wasn't even 10 minutes and he was out like a light snoring. She positioned him on the bed and came around placing her hands on his temples and started searching his mind. She found it. Seeing everything through his eyes. Suddenly he was running watching her mother starting to shoot back at the humans.

 

Watching from far away Ellie coming to run to him saying that we needed to get Emerie back form them that they had some kind of hold on her and she was only there to get Paige away from them as well. Her fathers voice booming somewhere else giving out orders. Looking at him. Jaxon get over there up to that glass control room and wait for my signal than launch what I tell you and where I tell you. GOT THAT?!" "Sir I don't understand what's happening. Why aren't we letting the D'marlians go home." "You just do what the fuck I told you to do you understand. There's no time for this. Look I will finally let you have a chance with Analeigh if you do what your fucking told and for fucks sake don't die getting up there.

 

Passing by Jaxon was running hard he was covering humans. He would run by and block some D'marlians giving them a chance to run safely. Also other animals and stuff just trying to be out of the way. Gun fire. Grenades. It was like a world war with special alien weapons the humans had taken over. Talk about being in the wrong hands. Analeigh thought to herself watching everything unfold. Looking around. He found a gun and a knife. Putting the knife in his boot and the gun just in case. There was clearly three sides in this battle. Rydin and Onyx and Gabrielles. The other side was people trying to avoid taking a side at all they just wanted to be away form it all. Once he got to the glass control room it was so bizarre he could hear everything everywhere. He could even hear the D'marlians radios. He saw everything as well.

 

It was a lie. Emerie wasn't trying to get her sister she was trying to save the D'marlians and let her sister go in peace with them. Watching how well she worked with Onyx it was crazy how close they were. So in sync. Until the glow happened. HOLY SHIT! Analeigh heard through Jaxon's mouth. Onyx had imprinted on Emerie. The look on Gabrielles face had said it all. Jaxon heart fell in his stomach both his mentors marriage had just ended in front of him. Holding his hands on both sides of his head processing everything in his head his eyes were seeing. "NOW fire it now." Jaxon knew Gabrielle was yelling at him. It was Ellie who said to fire it at Onyx. Everything in him said don't do it. The fear of Gabrielle was greater than the fear of Onyx. The promise of finally getting Analeigh out weighed everything else at the time.

 

Even in that moment he was thinking of their future rather than right and wrong. His own selfish desries and his own cowardness of that to her crazed father trumped everything else and he just pushed it on the third command. Watching as Emerie got Onyx out of the way and parts of her body and face just melted off. Onyx knew his radio was still where he can hear. After Emerie died in his arms Onyx gear was still attached to the screen Jaxon was glued to the screen. Emerie …no. "That's right kid. This is the side you chose. You should have to feel this with me now. My Emmie deserved more than this. My Emmie." She heard right as a deep broken roar shook the ground he was on. She let go she had seen enough. Eyes were drenched and face soaked in tears.

 

As she fell back on her butt and scooted quickly away in a hurry hands covering her mouth trying to keep in the squeaky cry that wanted to be let out she waited a minute and ran outside. Going a ways out to a tree but still having the house in view. She quickly bent over and vomited everything that needed to come out. HOW! HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME! HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO HER! All for HIM and her DAD. She thought to herself until she heard a voice that caught her off guard. Looking around she realized it was all in her head. That's right I'm royalty now she thought to herself as she heard Echo. "ANA! You got to come through to Nix I'm having trouble holding him back. I don't know what's going on but he's basically clawing the walls to get to you. Are you alright you blocked us all out. Can you hear me!" "Echo. I hear you."  Reaching deep down in her core to take a relaxing breath she forgot all about how deeply she is connected to Phoenix now.

 

"Nix. Nix I'm ok. I'm fine Nix." "YOU"RE NOT! I CAN FEEL IT. You even gotten sick haven't you. Where are you. I'm coming. Who is it? I swear little one I'll." "Nix it's fine no one has hurt me. I just found out some more things today and I it through me for a minute. Yes I got sick because I am letting it all sink in and it's not easy going with that." "Where are you?" "I'm at home safe and sound but I can't really talk right now. I have somethings I am trying to finish up here before we leave alright." "Who is with you." "Jaxon." "The FAKE MATE?" "Yup I will have to explain to you later tonight ok. I will be there soon. Just please calm down. I am fine. There is no danger. Not for me anyway. She mumbled. "I don't like this make him leave. Nothing good comes with him." "He can't leave right now. I drugged his tea he's passed out on the couch for a bit and will have a raging migraine when he wakes up."

 

"Why would you drug the fake mate. What-. You went through his mind didn't you Analeigh." "I can't talk now Nix. I'm fine see you later. She cut off the connection.  How the hell did I block them out. Maybe it's because I was so deep in the connecting link with Jaxon or maybe I just subconsciously put up a wall. I got to learn how I did that. That's some useful information that'll come in handy right there. Walking back into the house she sat up straight and waited for Jaxon to wake up. It was about 5p when he stirred awake. "Man my head feels like I slept way too long. How you sleep babe?" He said rubbing his eyes. "It was kind of hard to sleep when you were talking in yours." She said arms crossed sitting across from him.

 

"Shit baby girl I'm sorry did you get any rest. I can rub your head if you want to lay down again." He offered her with a sweet smile. "You know people in general are so interesting. Aren't they. I mean you think you know someone and than there are days like to today where you learn a little more about them. Like this afternoon for example I learned you talk in your sleep." "I do? What did I say?" He was curious and shocked. "Well I learned you talk to my dad and Ellie. I learned you wanted me to get down and take cover. When I asked why you told me they are shooting at us. Than when you said I don't want to. I didn't mean to do it. I asked you what trying to get you to wake up which you couldn't you were really balls deep asleep. You said you didn't mean to kill Emmie. Jaxon I'm only going to ask you once and let's not play dumb." She said with a deep warning look.

 

"Did you fire the missel that killed my mother?" Looking at her in silence for a few minutes as tears filled his eyes. "I did what I was told to do. I didn't know she would do that and I never meant for that to happen to her. I am sorry. I should have told you a long time ago. I just couldn't get my mind to wrap around it and I will never forgive myself so I don't ever expect you to either." He said looking at he floor as tears rolled constantly off his face to the floor. "I believe you." She said tears rolling down as well. "I believe you were scared of my dad. You were scared of whatever the situation around you was. I know deep down you will never forgive yourself because deep down you loved my mother. I also think if your love for her was stronger than your fear of my dad than she would probably still be here today." Looking up he choked a little bit.

 

So lost for words knowing there is so much he wanted to say but nothing would be the right thing. "It was a confusing time. It was like world war three out there. I didn't understand anything. If I could go back. Even if I could back though would even ever change anything? Would it. You got Ellie so deep in helping your dads twisted mind which was only focused on not only taking over their technology but torturing them in morbid experiments. Your mother on the righteous side trying to save everyone. It was like watching heaven and hell literally duke it out. With betrayal among every corner no one as low as me and hundreds of others having any clue what's going on just doing as we are told because we stupidly believed were making positive differences in the world. I mean that was the whole reason we were supposed to even be here this was it the dream place to work." He said getting up waving his arms in the air.

 

"Analeigh you have no idea what I've been through here. You forget you were out there on missions. Going through hells of your own. While I and many others where here working in the one your father was making all by himself. The power he took and had in literally a blink of an eye that he only got mainly through your mother and then to be the way he was to-. I know I have fucked up royally time and time again with you with us. There are so many things about my past here that I can never get out of my head or heart. Did you ever think that maybe I couldn't tell you because I am having trouble facing it myself? Did you ever once put yourself in my place in my shoes. Did you ever think about my feelings in this when you know damn well I didn't have any say in anything your fathers does?!" He yelled at her with tears in his eyes.

 

"I have. I have Jaxon I of all people know exactly how Gabrielle Alderman thinks and operates. He used people as tools but he uses the weak ones Jaxon and you know he offers them deals. He is so good at knowing what people really want and they know he is the only one who can get it for them with no sacrifice and no real hard work on their end as long as they cooperate. It is literally making the dela with a devil. He also gives people a chance to back out. I also believe that everyone makes the decisions to follow someone and makes the choices they want to make. If you truly are not going to do something then you're not going to do it. It's that simple. If everything was as crazy as you said it was you had plenty of choices one was never getting into a position to take the shot in the first place you could have just left in a scurry like many others or hidden out somewhere." She told him calmly.

 

"You had plenty of choices. The only thing that kept you in his clutches is he had something over you. Something you wanted. Maybe something you needed for whatever reason who knows I'm not psychic Jaxon. But I have put myself in your shoes theoretically and thought what I would have done in those situations and it's the same thing I would do now. I would go up to my dad and tell him no. To go straight to hell. I would have never let that man have so much control over my life to take someone else's or help in the murder of so many. And I'm a special ops soldier Jaxon what does that tell you?" "Not much since at the end of the day you are still in an engagement with me set up by your father." He said looking into her eyes not backing down also not wanting to fight with her.

 

"What was it hmm Jaxon? What was the thing dad had on you. For you to do this to me? Why the hell would you keep this all from me? You say you love me but you have no actions to back up that theory." "It's not theory it's fact. I LOVE YOU ANALEIGH!" "YOU DON'T! YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR JAXON. You have lied to my face over -over and over again. IS that what you think love is? You really thing we can built a relationship on trust and communication when it's standing on a seesaw of your damn lies. Not some little white lies like if I'm fat in a dress or the food taste great babe I mean these big ass ones you bypassed completely that change everything kind of lies Jax." She roared back at him ending in a softer tone.

 

"You're food always tasted great." He mumbled softly. "Not the point." She gritted through her teeth. "It was you." He said looking up at her. "The thing your dad had over me was you. He was going to make sure you got dragged back here no matter how or what. He wanted you in his office next to him. He was going to tell you those aliens killed your mother and he was going to make it look like you needed to seek revenge and take over the weapon study. Your dad knows how to get under your skin and into your head at the same time without even trying. You know it's true. You are exactly like both your parents Analeigh the good and bad sides of each as well." Looking at her.

 

"He promised me I could finally get a shot with you when he dragged you back. I talked to him and convinced him instead of dragging you tooth and nail from your dream job to a job that will kill you in everyway possible even being so clos eto him. To continue your moms work in the lab because no one other than you would know how everything works, goes, collide whatever you want to call it they would kill everything in there and then Emerie would really be dead and you would be dead with it. I got you out of all this. I am sorry. I was selfish. I was wrong. I was even a bit manipulative. I was honestly thinking of your happiness. I just wanted to make you happy and I believed over time I could. I thought hell there will be some bumps at first but overtime we got this." Trying to reach out for her as she backed away not pushing her he stepped back.

 

 

 "I am every bad thing in the book you can think of. I did try to some of it for the right reasons. I knew some of them would help you. In the end I was mostly thinking of myself. Of how after all these years I can finally get who I wanted. Even though I was never and will never be worthy of her. I thought I have my whole life to make it up to her. I thought when I finally come to terms with it myself. When I finally am able to talk openly about what happened I will tell you. The fact is I am still not ready. You can push all you want you have every right but my mind is not capable of having that conversation. Even though we did. I was eventually going to tell you everything. Emotionally and mentally I was ready or prepared. I mean you can never prepare for that kind of conversation." He said rubbing one hand over his eyes.

 

 "I thought maybe once I make you fall in love with me and we had a few kids you wouldn't leave me when you found out because in the end I would have been a good husband and father and you would still stay. That is also selfish and manipulative of me. I am sorry for that too. You want the truth so here it is I was a scared confused man then and I am a scared and confused man now too. Only for different reasons. I was confused on what was going on then. Now I'm confused on how to make this right now? Nothing I do or say will fix this. You know very well in your heart no matter how much you want to probably rebel now and back out of this marriage you can't. No matter how much you stand up to dad this will happen. You know deep in your heart I am right. What can I do to start to help fix us to a new track?"

 

 "Now that there is no more secrets from me. Everything is out in the open. What can I do to put us in the right track of moving forward and help fix us. Make us better. In the end this will just make us stronger. We will over come this and come out better for it you will see in time. We just have to let time heal this while being open." "Yes because you're the master of that right?" She mocked him in a scoff. "One day we will get past it you don't have to ever forgive me. I don't even forgive myself. But it will get better as we let go a little more everyday of the hate and anger that has such a hold on us right now. In time it will loosen up and let go. What can I do?" "You can get out. You can grab everything you came in that door with and you can take it and your sorry ass right out that door. You can get back in your car and go home and think about how to keep sucking the dick of my dad how feeds you right? You will tell no one our conversation. We will act like everything is fine. I will ignore you until I feel like talking to you again. You can tell everyone I am fine this is just how I handle things and I need to catch up on work. Well take it from there later. Leave." She gritted out through her teeth. Taking a breath in defeat he did what she asked and left.

 

 Pacing the floor back and forth she felt like she was shaking. The nerve of that lying asshole. Grabbing her keys she got in her car and drove to work. Like a woman on mission she wne through security and got down to her floor. Walking in the front doors. "Hey guys. Sorry it awhile-…" Looking at the two huge D'marlains and Quinn who looked like little boys who just got scolded only to see and her someone coming in from the left side. "Welcome home baby girl. It's been awhile. Seems you two left somethings out of the weekly group chats." The woman said in a sarcastic tone crossing her arms walking right next to Echo. "Aunt Paige."