"Thank you for letting us stay in this orphanage!" Rar bowed, gratefully. He scraped at his bowl the remaining food left. Aerith looked a little embarrassed, turning her head to the side.
"It's no problem, you two."
Ailsa smiled, nodding her head as reaffirmation, that it really was no problem. Ailsa is too nice. She never really thinks about herself.
"Ah, right. I'm Silva, he's Rar," she said, as she pointed to Rar.
Wait. Have I gotten things wrong? I swear... her name was Aerith. I guess I got things wrong.
The door to the orphanage creaked open. It was Marcus. He leaned by the door frame.
"Marcus! You're finally here! This is Rar and Silva."
Rar and Silva looked at Marcus, waving. Marcus waved back with a faint smile. He sat down at the table that Rar and Silva were sitting at.
"Nice to meet ya, Marcus!" Rar exclaimed, rubbing his belly.
"It's... nice to meet you too, Rar." he hesitated a little bit, after seeing the strange gestures that Rar was displaying. But he swept it under the rug.
"Tou, can you come to me to the forest? I need to go scavenging again." Ailsa asked. It caught me by surprise since I was left out of the conversation.
"Sure."
I got up from my seat. Ailsa walked outside, and I walked out with her.
"I called you here because I needed someone to carry all the stuff I get, Tou."
She handed me a sack. It was large and could be worn as a backpack. Judging from the size of the bag and the look of determination in her eyes, it looked like I would have to carry quite a lot.
It was 10 minutes in, and the bag was already halfway full. It was full of different vegetables gathered from around the village. But, surprisingly, it didn't feel too heavy. I guess Marcus really did train me well.
"Tou. I've always wondered if you're really... well.. Tou. Or, if you're just a possessed version of him."
She continued to walk, leading me without turning around. I was curious about what her expression was, but I didn't want to move in front of her to see it.
"I'm... conflicted, Tou. I really like seeing you smile. But every time you smile... I just... don't... I know it's not you."
She stopped speaking, sighing. I could see her slowly raising her hand to her forehead.
"I'm not sure if I'm Tou," I lied. "In fact, I'm not sure what I really am, Ailsa. But I'm definitely thankful to you."
"Why would you be thankful to me?"
"I think when... Tou comes back, or... when I truly come back, I'll be a different person. I've seen everything in a different light because of you and Marcus."
"Are you lying?"
"I'm not."
She stopped in her tracks and turned around, hugging me tightly.
It was Tou's heart that beat so rapidly in furious, trying to escape from my ribcage.
It was Tou's face that burned, red and hot to the touch. My expression could be described as a stupid smile, like one a kid gets when he gets the right answer to a question.
Right. That was all Tou.
Finally, she let go of me.
"Alright! I'm feeling a lot better, Tou! Thanks!" she smiled brightly and turned back around. It was like nothing had ever happened.
Her walk became a lot more... joyous. More like a skip, than a simple walk. My bag got even heavier, quicker, and quicker.
But that weight didn't really matter. Seeing Ailsa so happy, it really didn't matter.
"Hey, Tou. What do you wanna be in the future? I'm gonna be a medic!" she blurted out, randomly. It seems she was happier than I expected.
"A medic? You know medics are gonna be on the battlefield, right?"
"Pshaw! There isn't any war in Anore, Tou. Something like that isn't gonna happen for a while."
"But it could happen."
"Quit trying to scare me, Tou. But, what are you gonna be?"
"I'm... gonna be a whole new person."
"Twice? You've already changed quite a lot, Tou. Do you really need to change anymore?"
"I have to change. For Tou."
"For yourself?"
"...Yeah."
I wasn't trying to get my body back to simply just... get it back. I'm not Tou. No matter how much I stay in my body, I'll never be Tou.
Tou deserves to get his body back.
"I'm gonna leave this place. Far away."
"Far away? Why?"
"To become the person I want to be."
"You can become better here, can't you?" Ailsa pouted, crossing her arms.
"I can't. It's impossible for me to become the person I want without leaving this place."
"That's stupid! I can help you become who you want to be, right?"
"You can't."
"Yes, I can!"
"No, you can't."
"I can!"
"You can't.
"... When are you gonna leave, Tou?" she finally realized that I had a firm opinion.
"I'm gonna ask those visitors to take me with them. To Sar. That's where I believe that my... new person is."
"Are you ever gonna come back?" she asked, solemnly.
"Probably not."
"Then, I'd like to let you go without any regrets, Tou."
She stopped in her tracks and turned around.
"Huh? Are you alright, Ailsa?" I asked.
She reached out to my head, pulling it down. She looked at me, with a straight expression, and red cheeks. Her eyes started deeply into me.
"Aisl-"
Slowly, she moved closer. At a time like this, I felt like the best thing for me to do was to move. If I accepted this, Ailsa would become far too attached to me.
I'm leaving to find my real body. I can't just sit here and allow it to happen.
But, my heart was racing so fast. The way she looked at me... it was enchanting. Paralyzing.
Now that I think about it, what's wrong with this? She said it herself. It's not a good idea for me to leave with regrets. To harbor all these feelings.
Our lips collided. A soft, sweet feeling. A good feeling. Like a thousand sparks were ignited in my brain. But, those sparks didn't hurt at all. It felt good.
Damn it, Julian!