As far as I could remember I've been attracted to both men and women. Despite the wider dating pool I have in comparison to both my hetero and homosexual compatriots, I've always struggled with dating for as long as I can remember. My friends blame my particular tastes for this. As sad as it was to say, as of late I'd been indulging in dating sims. The most recent game I had picked up was "Vermillion Verisimilitudes." The pretentious name almost made me pause and not purchase it but ultimately I ended up doing so. The game pandered to my specific tastes in men perfectly, I knew I'd be losing out if I didn't purchase it.
It's not like it had particularly bad reviews either, most reviews praised it for its great main story line, saying that at times they wished it wasn't a romance game so they could recommend it to other people. The detractors mostly complained about the length of the game, saying it took far too long to experience what was a fairly standard romance although some also grumbled about the generic setting of the game complaining that they were tired of the overused medieval setting. The fans of the game shot back that it was okay because it was set in fantasy Russia, with the detractors pointing out that it was actually just the same setting with a thin veneer of Russian culture thrown on it. Personally I didn't care, but that didn't stop me from reading pages upon pages of slapfights about it. Eventually I even lowered myself to reading unhinged Twitter threads about characters in the game. The most divisive character by far was Anna Rostava; with some sides claiming she was just misunderstood and ultimately a sweetheart while the opposition called her a bloodthirsty witch obsessed with causing the death of those around her. This contradiction in opinions really made me raise my eyebrows when I came across it, the ones arguing in her favor weren't making the typical argument when it comes to villain characters, that being "yeah she's evil but she has a backstory that makes up for it and also she was totally justified in killing those people." Instead they were arguing like they could not possibly conceive of a world in which Anna would hurt anyone. It was so confusing that I started playing the game as soon as possible in order to delve deeper into this without ruining the game for myself.
Upon opening the game I was greeted with a screen showcasing the protagonist and the three male love interests. In my reading, I had come to have a slight understanding of the characters on the screen, although ultimately it was superficial since I didn't wish to spoil it for myself. There was Natasha Scherbatskaya, the protagonist with a heart of gold and a personality to match. She was adopted into the Scherbatsky family for reasons that were unclear to me. Next was her adopted brother, Leo Scherbatsky. From what I read online he was the possessive type. There was also Nikolai Rostov, Anna's brother and the most popular love interest character in the game. Lastly was Andrei Bezukhov, somewhat of an enigma to me due to his unpopularity with fans, the only thing I knew about him was that he was the crown prince.
I clicked on the "Start Game" button and was prompted to enter a name for the protagonist, not being one to rock the boat I accepted the prefilled Natasha option as my name.
Admittedly the setting was pretty generic, the author had clearly lifted some Russian names from somewhere and applied what little they knew of the Russian aristocracy before deciding that was enough work for them and defaulting to typical pitfalls of the medieval romantic setting. That was a very minor grievance I had in the face of what was indeed as good of a story as the critics hyped it up to be. The mystery of Natasha's origins and reason behind her adoption, the enigma of the Rostov lands, and the ominous event upcoming in the near future the narration kept hinting at: all of this served to heighten intrigue and had me reading as fast as I could. If I had to compare it to a TV show I'd say it was the otome equivalent of "Lost" and from what I read online it didn't fail to deliver. The critics were right though- this game was indeed really damn long. It had been three hours of reading and I was still on the general route without a chosen love interest in sight. I had a hard time being mad about this though, the game was absolutely stunning with a psychotic attention to detail. In the two in game weeks I hadn't seen a single character wear the same outfit twice. Even the maids', who wore uniforms, would rotate between uniforms which could be seen with the discerning eye by tracking faint stains on the white parts of their outfits. What I found the most astonishing were the backgrounds which were continuously changing. Items were moved around, some things were removed, others folded by a maid with too much time on her hands. I don't think Natasha ate the exact same things for any meal; even the two venison dinners she had were different in the art with one being somewhat less cooked and there being a side of green beans instead of asparagus. Not once did the game acknowledge any of this. If I hadn't been so enthralled by the story I would have spent a very long time looking at each background trying to find minor changes that had been made since Natasha had last visited each area.
I was just about considering going to bed when I decided for the sixth time that night that I would definitely turn in right after I got through one more scene. The scene was set at the Rostov mansion where a ball was being held for Andrei's sister, Princess Bezukheva to celebrate the announcement of her engagement to Count Nikolai Rostov who was the only love interest I had not been introduced to thus far in the story. I felt it was a little rude to spark a romance during an engagement party but thus far I had gotten the feeling Princess Bezukheva was not thrilled with this arrangement, so perhaps it was okay.
Natasha had spent most of the party close to her adopted brother Leo, her internal monologue informing me she was anxious about such a large party since she had only made her debut into society relatively recently and other nobility were skeptical about her being adopted and all.
Leo had picked up on this, saying," Calm down Natasha, this party is merely a formality. It's been known in society that Princess Bezukheva was to be wed to Count Rostov for ages now. If it wasn't for the fact that father had plans to have you married to Prince Bezuhov we probably wouldn't have bothered to attend. The Rostovs' lands are hostile enough during the summer, who's idea was it to hold this ceremony during winter?"
Natasha giggled at his off hand comment about the weather," who indeed brother. Thinking about it, shouldn't you be the nervous one? After all, you'll be meeting your own fiance for the first time in months."
Leo stiffened at this remark and frowned,"Don't mention that vile woman to me. It's bad enough father won't call off my engagement and sent me marching into the lion's den like this. I don't need you to start pushing it too."
I raised my eyebrows, this was the first time Leo had talked about his engagement. The game had explained that he was going to be married to his childhood friend, Anna Rostova but from what he was saying now it sounded like he was on quite bad terms with her.
Like she had read my thoughts Natasha responded," I don't understand your distaste for Countess Rostova, according to mother you were such close friends until a short while ago."
"Everyone thinks I'm the one acting rashly but they're not the ones who have to deal with her in private. Enough of that though, look The Princess is making her entrance."
The all important Princess to whom this party was dedicated got a CG of her entrance, however despite the art being centered on her my eyes were drawn elsewhere, to the woman standing next to her. Even though I had seen fan art and screen caps of the game, of this scene even, nothing had prepared me for seeing it for myself in game. It would not be an understatement to say that I had fallen in love with Anna Rostova right then and there. She had white hair along with pale skin and blood red eyes. Even though it was a still image just from the way she was carrying herself I could easily tell that she moved with incredible grace and poise. Even though she had been drawn to be looking out into the crowd it still felt like she was looking at me.
At last my first choice for this scenario had arisen. Would I like to congratulate The Princess on her engagement, continue sticking to my brother, or talk to Anna? I didn't even stop to consider the ramifications this could have on the route I would be taking, I immediately opted to talk to Anna. However this was still an otome game, despite chasing her through the halls of the Rostov estate I could not find her and instead ended up bumping into Nikolai instead. My choices when talking to him would not allow me to leave and continue to talk to Anna. While I was somewhat sad, Natasha conversed with Nikolai.
"Princess, I didn't expect you to be running through the halls like this, do they not teach the commonfolk basic manners," Nikolai questioned Natasha quite derisively,
I had forgotten this part of his character since most of his fans tend to focus on the loving and caring side of Nikolai after he learns to love Natasha. Initially he is quite classist and rude to Natasha due to her background. I had also forgotten that she was a princess since everyone had been making such a big fuss about a different princess in the other room. In Russia the titles of "Prince and Princess" do not necessarily mean one is the child of the Tsar instead it is a common high ranking title, this is what the game told me anyways and I hadn't gotten the chance to check the veracity of this information so as far as I was concerned it was true, that said I was pissed at Nikolai so I chose the rudest answer available to me.
"And I didn't know it was the Count's place to reprimand someone above his station like this," Natasha spit back.
"Just because you got some of the upper class to recognize your status doesn't mean you can run your mouth like this; remember Princess that your standing in society is based solely on how you act so you best behave."
With those cruel but true words spoken Nikolai walked out of the room. At this point Natasha was too busy seething over his words to continue her chase for Anna and if only not to give him the satisfaction of seeing her upset, Natasha spent the rest of the evening sitting in the carriage waiting for the party to be over.
My hopes were not totally dashed however as Anna sent Natasha an invitation to a small gathering in her salon to get to know Natasha better the following morning. I eagerly accepted her invitation while Natasha made some internal remarks about what she would say if she saw Nikolai there.
Even though I only had to wait an in-game day I still found it to be unbearably long, as did Natasha since she was staying in her family's estate in the north to attend this party and there was very little to do. Still, as always time marches on, and the next day arrived for the both of us.
Natasha spent the entire carriage ride fretting about her appearance despite the fact she already looked perfect. The entire time a somewhat cruel voice in my mind was telling her not to bother because there was no way she could not even hold a candle to Anna's resplendence. The two of them both had the light color pattern, Natasha's blonde hair and blue eyes were striking in their own way but the more she tried to dress herself up I couldn't help but think she looked very childish in comparison to Anna, who could wear the simplest of dresses and still shine the brightest.
We arrived at the party right on time. It was a small gathering with the only other named character being Princess Bezuheva. I assumed this was the reason that Natasha ended up sitting next to her, such coincidences were needed to provide further characterization to her after all. Natasha noticed somewhat vexedly that she did not receive any silverware or plates to partake in the tea and sweets that had been provided to the other guests but wanting to avoid a scene she decided she would just not partake until the hostess arrived. Although with nothing to eat or drink she had nothing to do and decided to make small talk with the princess next to her.
"So I hear you're to be wed in the summer, that's nice. Although I can't imagine moving from the capital to the countryside," Natasha said in an attempt to be friendly.
The Princess said nothing in response. Natasha had about had it with the rudeness she had experienced today but the thought of the reprimand she would receive from her father, the Prince made her stay. With no relations to talk to, Natasha sat in silence, the only noise the other guests made was the occasional clinking of silverware. That was until the lady a few seats down started coughing violently, there was only one at first but it quickly became the entire party aside from Natasha. After the coughing came the vomiting, blood mixed with the sweets eaten earlier stained the pretty white table cloth that had been laid on the table. Natasha looked around with frantic eyes, the servants weren't doing anything to help them, they were just staring into the space in front of them with a stoic expression. Princess Bezuheva was turning blue from a lack of oxygen, before Natasha could even think of how to help, the princess coughed up a strange fleshy thing. With this last extraordinary cough, the Princess stopped moving and her eyes rolled up into her head. It wasn't long before the rest of the guests followed suit. The smell of vomit and blood was too much for Natasha to handle, and she threw up on the floor next to her. For my part I felt like I could vomit too, everything that had just happened was drawn with the same painstaking detail, the coughing too sounded too realistic for my liking as well. I knew this game was rated 18+ but I assumed that it was due to sexual scenes, not due to the unexpected event I had just witnessed.
With the bloodbath over, the hostess Anna finally stepped into the room. She was as beautiful as ever. Even though I had just witnessed the most gruesome poisoning I'd ever seen in media, I still couldn't help but admire the simplicity of the modern red cocktail dress she was wearing, especially in comparison to the period appropriate dresses of the party goers. Among all the blood stained corpses and gore Anna had achieved the effect of being the most interesting thing in the room to look at, no perhaps it wasn't despite of the gore but because of it. She had undoubtedly been the orchestrator of this crime, and had come down from the heavens to witness the tragedy she had wrought. My heart was pounding in my chest, not but fear but out of a new brilliant feeling of love that was welling up at the sight of Anna.
Natasha was not experiencing these same feelings, as Anna walked up to her she tried to move, get out of her chair and back away but her legs were failing her so instead she said weakly," W-what did you do?"
"I poisoned them of course. A new type made especially for this event," Anna answered cooly as she sat down at an unoccupied chair across from Natasha.
"Why," Natasha nearly broke down sobbing.
"They were planning on bullying you dear, I sent out an invitation specifically for a party where we bully the new girl who is unfit to be part of the upperclass. As you can see the plot worked perfectly, not a single one denied my invitation. What mongrels, I bet half of them didn't even care you were originally a commoner, they just wanted to be cruel to an easy target which of course just made them an easy target for me."
"You-you didn't have to go that far."
"Of course I did, bullying is something I hate more than anything and I have a bad habit of destroying things I hate," as she said this she got up and started walking towards Natasha.
"Countess Rostava, what are you doing," Natasha barely managed to choke out while quivering in her chair.
"Did I say I hate bullying more than anything? That was a lie, I hate one thing more than bullying. That thing being you, dear Natasha Scherbatskaya."
With that Anna walked up to the trembling Natasha and put her hands around Natasha's throat. Natasha tried to break Anna's grasp but it was useless, Anna was simply too strong. Perhaps it was a reflex but Natasha was scratching at her throat but since Anna's hands were there she ended up scratching the back of Anna's hands with her nails. Anna was seemingly unfazed by this and continued her relentless grip on Natasha's throat. Eventually Natasha's thrashing became substantially weaker and she passed out. When this happened Anna simply grabbed her head and twisted it to the left as violently as she could. A sickening crack filled my ears and Natasha fell limp in Anna's hands.
She let the body fall into the chair sighing,"how many times does that make? I really need to get her to cut her fingernails next time. Well anyways I hope you enjoyed the show, I'll be seeing you soon I expect."
With that the power in my house cut out. Due to how absorbed I was in the story I had failed to notice there was a powerful storm raging outside my house. This was probably for the best, although I hoped it saved my progress as I wasn't sure I could stomach sitting through that bad end another time. I stumbled my way to my bed, tripping over a few things on the floor I could not see in the dark. I was more exhausted than I thought, it didn't take long after getting under my covers for me to fall asleep.
An unfamiliar sound woke me up, it was a rooster crowing. The cover that had been keeping me warm was an unfamiliar texture, same with the sheets; both were much too soft to be the same ones on the bed I had just fallen asleep on. Despite this I did't open my eyes, as if that was the only thing that was keeping this from becoming real. Yes, as long as I had my eyes closed this was most definitely the most lucid dream I had ever had in my life. Then my stomach grumbled and the illusion was mostly shattered, after all I couldn't think of a single time in my life when I had been hungry while dreaming.
Finally opening my eyes, what I saw above me was a deep red canopy, the blankets were a similarly deep red color while the sheets were a cream color. What's more is the bed I was in was massive, large enough to hold several grown men although all that laid in it was my feeble frame. Actually maybe it wasn't as large as it seemed, maybe I had just gotten smaller. Yes, the torso I could glance down and see was much smaller than my body's. A bit distracted, I noticed the silk dressing gown I was wearing was very ornate. Silver and gold flowers encircling swans were embroidered on the collar and sleeves. I stopped to take a moment to admire the craftsmanship of this article of clothing before realizing I had much more important matters to attend to. There was a rococo-style vanity in the room including three large mirrors. I was clearly not in the same body as usual and I needed to figure out who exactly I was.
I tentatively got out of bed, internally noting how soft the carpet beneath my feet was as I walked towards the mirror. Now that I could finally see myself my voice caught in my throat as I suppressed a gasp of surprise at my new reflection. Long, straight black hair and pitch black eyes stared back at me in the mirror. The girl in front of me was almost ethereal due to her beauty. As she moved her arms in tandem to mine it slowly set in that I was looking at my reflection. My surprise turned to dread, I definitely knew this girl, just yesterday I attended her engagement party and shortly after watched her suffer a grisly end. This girl was Princess Kitty Bezuheva. No, I was Kitty Bezuheva and I had to do all I could to stop the story from unfolding the same way it did last night.