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Chapter 5 - Day 5

I like to listen to loud music that i don't understand. Helps me keep the independent thoughts away. But everything is just borrowed isn't it? The thoughts we think, the words we speak, borrowed from someone when we came here on this rock, some unwillingly but did came, some early some late, some tolerable and some dumb as fuck.

"𝙄𝙣 𝙨𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙢𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡."

"𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙚𝙚𝙠, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙪𝙥𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪."

Above are two very deep meaning statements which just came to my mind one after another maybe because they are quite antagonistic to each other. But fuck that, the thing is, I saw someone very cute today, I don't know they were a he or she, probably trans because they appear differently when you're in India. But for the sake of ease of this conversation and how I perceived it, we refer to them as "she\her". She was on a auto rickshaw which was passing me very slowly because of the jam and just as the jam opened, our eyes locked. Maybe because of the traffic or love at first sight, everything flowed in slow motion and i thought of everything we could do together. Maybe the first time in a long time that I didn't think anything about sex after seeing someone. I just thought how we could talk and we would look each other dead in the eye and we would both know, in the heart, without any confirmation that, we are not just speaking, we are being heard. Even my imagination felt right. How I would cry my heart out in her bosom and she wouldn't judge me. How we could share moments and then have a warm, loving laugh together remembering it.

Anyways, her rickshaw passed me and I kept thinking how it could have been if it would have been...

"𝙇𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚."

-sidhant