"I understand, I was once also a youth hungry for power. However, rushing things will only hurt you. Trust me, I learned it the hard way..." commented old man Allen
"How?"
"Let me tell you my story.
Long ago, when I was still your age. I was a mere 2-circle mage which was considered extremely talented among commoners especially since there was no Academy for commoners, just nobles.
I found a decent breathing technique seemingly thrown away by some noble in the trash and took it, to me that 'trash' was my lifeline treasure.
Everything after finding that technique was going well for me, I formed a small gang with other kids, built a base and taught them the breathing technique so we could build our footing between those other gangs. Come to think of it, I was extremely dumb, a mere 2-circle mage thinking he's got all the power in the world just because he compared himself to other weak children around him" said Allen as he let out a hurt snicker.
"A couple of months after forming my gang, I was walking down the slums until I stumbled upon an inn, the only one in the seeable distance. I decided to enter as I was hungry but oh, that was the biggest mistake I ever made...
I entered and was surprised by how clean that inn was despite being so deep in the slums, but I just ignored it and went to order some food, eat and leave, that was the plan at least. In the place of the innkeeper, there was a suspicious-looking man and he asked me "Do you want to get stronger?" I was confused why this guy would ask such a question, so I immediately took a defensive stance. As soon as I did, he said "You don't need to worry I'm just a weak innkeeper, I'm trying to chat with my customers, no need to get so defensive" I didn't sense any magic from him so I took back my stance and replied "Yes, I do! I'd do anything to get stronger" At that time, I thought that I was pretty cool, as a person who would do anything to get stronger...
The same suspicious-looking man came a day later to our base this time however, he was covering his face making it hard for me to make out who he was. He effortlessly took down all of our guards outside and came in while dragging their bodies from their collars. I was surprised, those guards were people I trained, they were 1-circle mages and they shouldn't have been caught that easily, however, as I couldn't sense anything coming from him, a terrifying thought crossed my mind 'What if he's a higher-ranking mage than me?' I obviously didn't know the magic system and how many ranks there were, but I was sure that if the nobles threw away a technique that could get me to 2-circle then they must have something way stronger.
"What are you doing here? What do you want from us?" That man didn't respond, instead, he scanned through my men and snickered saying "Hmph, trash!" as he said such words half of the kids' bodies were chopped off.
I was stunned, my body didn't move, no it couldn't! The sight of half of my underlings who were also my friends dying in an instant was enough to put me in a state of shock.
"Didn't you say you'd do anything to get stronger?" he asked with a domineering voice
'The innkeeper?' I thought, surprised.
"DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU'D DO ANYTHING TO GET STRONGER??" he repeated this time in a loud voice, deafening everyone there including me.
"YES," I replied instinctively as it was the only way out of this mess.
"Kill everyone here, then I'll bring you power unattainable by even the highest of people!"
For a second I was tempted but then I remembered that he just told me to kill everyone of my underlings and I hesitated.
"If you don't kill everyone here, I'll be the one to do so and I'll kill you as well!"
A part of me wanted to refuse his offer, yet his threat scared me and by the time I was awake to realize what I'd done I'd have already killed them all. ALL of my underlings, and friends remaining were killed by me," Kyle felt bad as he never could've imagined the old man that was overseeing the library had such a dark and cruel past.
"I couldn't forgive myself, yet I couldn't just kill myself after everything I've done, so I followed that suspicious-looking man, in hopes for one day when I'm strong enough to get my revenge.
I spent about 2 years with him, during which I broke through to 3-circle. At that time, he wanted me to learn dark magic, I tried to resist as I witnessed him becoming crazier and crazier throughout the years. I figured this dark magic must be the reason for it, so I tried doing everything I could to avoid learning it. I ran away from him. Although he was of a much higher rank than me, the side effects of dark magic were too severe, which gave me a chance, a chance that didn't last long. I ran out of his house and started roaming the slums aimlessly. Unfortunately, It was the slums I was in, meaning there was no security, yet I continued to run hoping for some kind of miracle. He followed after me and caught up to me when I reached an empty alley, by that time I had already accepted my fate and wanted to atone for all that I'd done, if there was one thing I never wanted to do, it was to turn out like him, a human with no regard for other human lives.
I closed my eyes, waiting to be killed, but I was not the one that was killed, it was him. A battle mage from the Imperial Guards appeared out of nowhere and saved me. "Phew, looks like I got here in time!" exclaimed the Imperial Guard. I was happy that that bastard got what he deserved, yet I felt guilty that I was still alive.
I told him my story, in hopes of getting punished but what he did instead was hug me and say "You've suffered far too much, child. You're safe now!" I burst into tears upon hearing such words.
I was an orphan, who was abandoned by his parents before even gaining consciousness, so I always survived on my own, without receiving any kind of love. Even when I made the gang with my friends, I still kept them far away from me, as they followed me for my power, not for 'me'.
The imperial mage said that although he could keep me away from prison, I would still be sent to a battlefield to atone for what I did.
I was happy with such a result, although it would be harder than staying in prison I still didn't want to be seen by my savior as a prisoner but as a soldier.
I was dispatched to the southern battlefield where the barbarians were trying to invade from the southern continent, I fought there for 5 years. In the meantime I broke through to a 4-circle mage and came back victorious with many new comrades I made there.
Years later, when I broke through to 6-circle, the new Academy was established and I was invited to be an overseer for the Academy's Library. I thought that spending my last few days supervising kids and possibly helping them in some way, as I'm doing right now, wouldn't be a bad ending," said Allen.
"I-I'm sorry that such a thing happened to you, I don't know how to react" replied Kyle, still overwhelmed by such a story.
"Hahaha, calm down kid, I didn't tell you my story just for your sympathy. I just want you to not go down a similar path. Losing yourself in the pursuit of power is..."