Present
"Anna. Anna. Anna, you're running late."
Someone jerks me and said, "AAANNNNAAAAAA"
A few seconds after I woke up in shock and wasn't able to figure out what was going on around me. In the cold winter my heart rate is racing and I'm dripping with sweat because of the dream.
Looking around, I realise it was Jessi yelling my name out. "Anna! "Get up now, that bitch is calling you," Jessi exclaims as she approaches me. Because of the sudden pain, my head felt like it was about to burst and when I took a glance around, it was relieving to see that I am still in my cell.
"What are you looking for?" she yells at me once more.
She takes a step closer to me and asks, "Are you still having those dreams?" I know that she is concerned about me but didn't want to talk about it to her either.
My face looks red as a plum, and my hair is almost wet from sweating, as I see my reflection on the table mirror. We hear a loud noise coming from the windows while I think about what I should say to change the subject, the noise saves me. When I look outside, I see plenty of drilling machines near the basketball court working.
"What in the world are they doing?" Jessi and I in a confusing state ask each other, unsure of what is going on.
"I suppose the number of crimes committed has increased to the point where they are constructing a new block. We're going to lose our sleep for another three months and I'm really excited about it," Jessi says sarcastically, looking out the window. It gets dusty soon and the wind blows it all into our cell, creating extra tasks for us.
I notice a sign saying, "LUCK DOESN'T VISIT YOU TWICE. SO, FIND YOUR FOUR CLOVER BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES."
Why did I have the feeling that I have already read this somewhere? And I try to recall events, but I couldn't come to a conclusion. I rub my eyes to see if I have read it correctly and it read, "Work in Progress."
I've gotten old enough to have my own hallucinations? I wonder.
It starts to get worse as the days go by because now, they even start to continue to ruin our sleep by making the machines work at night and annoying the nerves out of me. With those loud noises, the machines ruined both our days and nights. Things kept on getting worse when we were supposed to relocate our belongings to the new block while our old buildings were being renovated. Though the new one is more comfortable than the previous one, it took some time for me to get used to it. I did like the scent of the freshly painted walls, but we still have to walk a long distance to the main block for our food.
It was a long and exhausting day, so I wish to take a quick nap. When I decide to close my eyes, a prison guard barges into our cell, shouting my name. I wonder if anybody in my life had ever called my name that many times more than this prison lady, maybe it was luck. Peace is never in my favour. "I discovered this in your old cell room. Is it yours?" she asks, clutching a small cardboard box. Yes, I just remember that I had left it under the bed and had forgotten to bring it along with me. She throws it on the table as I nod my head, as she rolls her eyes off.
Fuck off, b*tch! And I am about to get on top of my bed to lie down, when three repairmen enter our cell with a box and Jessi joins them. They usually visit to fix our taps and bed trunks on a regular basis because we have regular problems with them. "It may take some time to repair it. You'll have to wait outside until it's over," one of the staff members informs us.
I get out of my bed to leave, cursing Jessi in my head and stabbing her mentally right into her three times straight. The medium sized box catches my eye as I go ahead to leave. Instead of having a devil's workshop in my head, I decided to continue reading his diary. I sit in the common hall with a good cup of coffee to help me forget my sleep. When I open the box, there's the same old red diary on the top. As I flip through the pages, something falls out of it. It is just a small card with something written on.
"My love,
You should be in my arms by now, us living our lives together in this world, happily. If you were there, we would have travelled all over the world together as a family and I would have showered you with all the happiness you deserve. I know you're one of those beautiful stars watching me from above and all I want you to remember is that I love you and will continue to love you for the rest of my life. Never think I'll forget you because you're the one who brought the hope of true happiness into my life. You'll always be my first choice. My love, I wish you the happiest of birthdays.
Yours truly,
Ryan"
What great words! Arms, stars, and shit. Damn! My heart literally skipped a beat because of all this shit. You should have landed in the film industry instead of fashion, Ryan.
There was also a notepad and a pair of faded pink shoes. A shoe? These appear to be new as they are never in use and the pink colour was dull too. I take the notepad to see if there is anything interesting in it, and it's a new one, with nothing of great writings on it. I set that aside, and my inquisitive mind urges me to return to reading his diary.
"Don't tell me you're going to start reading this sh*tty diary again," Jessi barges in, attempting to take the diary from me.
"Jessi, I really want to know what has actually happened to my life. If his love was true, why on earth would I be in this worst of a situation? Thinking from all the aspects, I don't seem to be getting my answers and if I want one, I need to find them on my own. Right now, all I'm left with is his diary," I said, looking at his name written in the diary.
"Are you certain you want to do that to yourself, Anna?" Jessi questions me and I choose to remain silent. She continues, "Just look at yourself, do you really believe that this diary will help you give your answers? You want to read it despite knowing your mental health conditions because of it?"
"What?"
"You think I'm dumb enough for not figuring out what you're up to. Stop acting like everything is normal, Anna. I've been with you for more than a year. I've seen you countless times sitting quietly crying in the dark. Do you want to know what the best part is? You haven't slept well since the day I saw you here. Sometimes you have nightmares and then you suddenly wake up, drenched in sweat. You also sometimes shiver as you gaze through the window too. But the next day, you act as if nothing happened, and I'm not sure if you have any idea how it was when you fainted and fell to the ground," she says, almost in tears. "Just get that shit out of your life, Anna."
"I know we've made some mistakes in our lives and that we're paying for them now. This place does not exist to make you a worse person, Anna, but to help you become a better person," she says everything that is possible.
But I did my best to persuade her, but she remains particularly worried about my health. When I politely ask her to leave, she goes to get a bottle of water and leaves me alone after I assure her that I will be alright. I'm guessing she was offended and felt terrible about it too. I take a deep breath and flip through the pages to where I left off, but something else piques my interest in the interim.
"Charles de Gaulle changed my life" was written in the centre of the left page and there is a heart shaped pencil sketching on it.
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
~
Mr Ryan Carlos,
1st October, 2011
Airport, Paris
The sunlight was falling right on my face and it became a difficult task for me to open my heavy eyes. My head was too tired to lift and my phone became the biggest cause for my headache as it was ringing for ten minutes, continuously. Since I couldn't open my eyes fully, I searched for the phone on the side table. Instead of picking it, I pushed it to the floor clumsily.
Fuck my life! And then finally I found peace as it stopped ringing.
Within a few seconds, it again started to buzz making me want to throw away the phone. I woke up yelling "who the fuck…" and I was lost for words. As I looked around, my clothes were all over the floor and under my sheets, Holy shit! I was fucking completely naked.
A sudden glimpse flashed in my head where I drew into the conclusion that I had sex last night.
"Do you want me to go more intense, baby?"
"Give it to me"
"Ryan, you're forcing me…"
My head was recalling everything. Holy fuck! I had sex with Ms Williams? No way, it was her, was it? Alicia? No, it ended with a sound of 'A'? Fuck! What the hell was her full name? Am I living in a thriller series or in this reality which is making me feel it to be like a dream.
Suddenly, I heard someone trying to open the door and heard multiple banging on the door along with it. It must be those crackheads and suddenly "Ryan! What the hell are you doing inside for so long?" And it was James indeed. They were going to enter and see me naked, on the bed with my clothes all over the place, I was screwed. Quickly I picked up my clothes and pushed them under my sheets. They unlocked the door just as I was about to put on my shirt and button it. I heard a housekeeping guy letting my evil friends with respect inside my room while James pushed the door to the side. I simply covered myself and laid down, enacting that I just woke up. "How many times do we need to call you?" Mark barged inside with the other two.
"Seriously? I understand that when you are hungover, you lose control of the happenings and forget things like your phone or wallet, but this is too much dude. I can't believe you started forgetting even your important schedules," James said.
"Did I forget something? Are we supposed to go somewhere?" I asked as I had no clue about my schedules, holding my throbbing head.
"Mr Ryan, today, you're scheduled to get your ass to the airport in two hours, fly back to where you belong," Eric said, checking his mobile.
I was relieved because I thought I had missed an important meeting. I couldn't cope up with the situation, so I asked, "What? ARE WE LEAVING? NOW? Don't we stay at least a day after our event? If that's the thing then am I the only one who isn't ready yet?"
"Those days are gone sir when you were a model and had a day off to enjoy the place. We are now directors. We don't have holidays until someone dies maybe. So, for now leave your bed before we drag you out," Mark said sarcastically.
James looked at me suspiciously and asked, "You don't usually forget things until they're not that necessary. Bro, you are coming across really fishy to me. Why does this place appear..." He paused and looked down at the ground, saying, "Did you… Don't tell me you had sex with one of the hookers from yesterday and we have caught you red-handed now," as everyone laughed with him. They were looking at me suspiciously and I did everything possible to divert their attention away from what was going on in my room.
"Am I supposed to laugh along with you all for this stupid joke he just made? Get out of here now," I said, pointing to the doors and they ignored me, still laughing.
When I looked at James, he made me feel creeped out. How is it possible for him to discover anything I do? How is it possible for him to get everything about me right all the time? Wait! If that's what he meant, did he find out it was Ms Williams? He isn't that smart to figure it out though. But how did he know I had sex last night? Such a weirdo.
Eric didn't actively participate in the taunting because he was on his phone, but James and Mark did an excellent job. "Are you still going to stay in bed and realise things or should we help you carry yourself to the washroom?" James asked, abruptly stopping his laughter.
Mark stated "Come on, James, lend me a helping hand. Let's help him take a bath, together" he said with a smirk and I yelled "Shut the fuck up and leave. Ten minutes, I'll be in the lounge. You go ahead, and I'll join you all soon."
Before they were about to leave, James kept looking around, and I wished his overthinking brain didn't make assumptions and ruin my life. "Get your a$$ down in 10 minutes," he said as he slammed the door shut.
I stormed into the bathroom, and the hot shower on my body felt divine. But I didn't have time to appreciate it for a long time. I stood in front of the foggy mirror after finishing my shower, wrapping the towel around my hip. My attention was drawn to the red marks on my neck and body as I wiped away the fog to look at my handsome face. I took a closer look at it, hickey. I was screwed for sure. They were pure love bites, and yes, it's from the lady I slept with last night, but I can't flex openly about it because I have three sharp-eyed friends in my life.
My company wouldn't let me admire my beauty and the guards had already begun to knock on the door. It took me only a few minutes to pack my belongings because I had already given my assistant all of my other baggage. To go with the denim jacket, I put on my dark blue ripped jeans and a plain white t-shirt.
Again, her name rang out in my head, "Zara? Aera? Clara?" Why am I unable to recall her name? I couldn't remember the name because it was bothering me so much and arrived at the airport with my mind trying to fit it into all the possible names for her.
After completing my check-in processes, I proceeded to the lounge. Eric yelled my name, and the entire floor gave me a burning stare. What exactly did I do now? With a shameless smile, I sat beside Eric, who was enjoying his long BLT sandwich and he got me a vanilla shake as a courtesy. Mark was lost in his own world, listening to music and reading a novel in the morning. "Why are people staring at me strangely?" I asked Eric because our crew was giving me creepy looks every time, I saw them.
"They are irritated because the flight will be delayed for the next one hour" James stated as he ate his fries. I didn't want to curse them any further, so I let it go as I looked for the lady who had been running through my mind since the time, I woke up this morning. I couldn't find her and as I went to get a bottle of water, I noticed her sitting beside her guards in a separate lounge. Her outfit consisted of a turtleneck tee, an oversized denim jacket, black leather jeans, with minimalist accessories and a high tied ponytail with a few strands of hair falling on her face.
Beautiful? Gorgeous? Hot? Sexy? Oh! That was for her square oversized glasses. Even though she was dressed simple, she appeared expensive in my eyes because she was wearing only brands. I couldn't take my gaze away from her while she was working on her laptop.
Aesthetically appealing? Will that perfectly describe her?
"Did you happen to see anyone pretty hot around?" James appeared from nowhere. He looked around and asked who it was, but I had no intention of telling him anything, so I dragged him away from there telling it was not worth it.
While James and I were debating about the football match going on, around four to five of security guards led by a high-ranking police officer passed through our lounge and stopped right next to Ms Williams. As they began to inquire about her, everyone's gaze was drawn to her, gossiping and making assumptions.
"Take a look at what's going on, guys. Cops have arrived to question Ms Williams. What did she do this time? "James's tone was captivated and so was I.
I told them to wait while I got up to go into her lounge personally to see what was going on. They were searching her bag and had discovered a gun inside. Everyone was stunned and when I turned around, all of the crew members were dismayed to see it. In worry I began fast walking towards her. How did she get the gun inside despite the security check? Though it came as no surprise to me anymore, everyone on the floor began to stare at her suspiciously, as if she were a terrorist.
"What's the matter, Ms Williams?" I stepped in front of her, pushing her to the side to talk.
"Ryan, I will handle this and explain it to you later," she said, attempting to come forward, and Smith returned back a bit later.
Apparently, the airport security department had received an anonymous call, informing them that Ms Williams was carrying a dangerous weapon. The officials requested that she accompanied them to the security department for a few questions about the weapon.
"I'm coming with you," Smith said as she moved forward, but Ms Williams grabbed her wrist and said, "Listen, I can handle this shit alone and you stay here" and they made the first announcement to board the flight to New York.
One of the officials stated, "She is not allowed to leave the country until all of our investigations and confirmations are done." So, Ms Williams asked Smith to leave with their staff, as one security team had already left with the people of the first batch. Smith was unwilling to leave her and stated, "Again, there is a problem here and I'm not leaving you alone this time. What if something happens..."
"What if something bad happens to one of our employees? Will that be alright? Ms Smith, it is our responsibility to protect them all," Ms Williams said.
"If you don't mind, I can stay with Ms Williams and my schedule is free for today too," I interrupted and continued "So I have no objections to stay. We will board the next flight to New York once everything has been cleared."
Both looked surprised, giving me an odd look, and after a few seconds, I noticed Ms Williams' grin. What was the point of that grin I wondered.
"Okay, Ryan is staying with me and we will return safely. Are you fine with it now?" Ms Williams asked. As usual they had another eye-contacting conversation that I couldn't understand, and just then, Eric, James, and Mark ran, coming to the spot.
"What's going on here? Is everyone and everything fine, Ms Williams. Sorry I was listening to music with my headphones on when Eric informed me of what had happened. Is everything alright?" Mark asked in shock.
Ahaan! Mark was suddenly feeling a lot affectionate towards her for no reason. Wait a second! Isn't she mine now? She's my girlfriend, son of a b*tch. Get the hell out of her sight as soon as possible.
I wished I could close James' mouth when he said, "Ms Williams!" YOU ACTUALLY BOUGHT A Gun TO THE AIRPORT? How did you pull that off? Are you secretly into these bad ass gangsters, mafia and shit?"
And before Ms Williams could respond, James continued, "Wait a minute! How did you get your hands on that gun firstly? You didn't have one when you arrived at Pairs, but now they have spotted you on your way back. How is that possible?" and his curious head didn't think twice about what he was asking.
The officials gave her an even more suspicious look and notified her she needed to come with them right away. For the first time in history, the timing was perfect. They announced that our flight was ready to board, and Ms Williams smiled and said, "Mr James, it's time for you to leave, and we'll talk in New York. Have a safe flight," she said as she walked away with the officials.
Even Smith agreed and as I was about to move when Smith stopped me and said, "I want you to stay by her side all the time, keeping a close eye on her. Don't leave her alone for even a second," he said, commandingly.
"Yes, ma'am. I will safely hand over your boss to you as soon as we come back," I said, and James interrupted me again by asking, "Aren't you going to come with us?" Smith answered instead of me.
"Ryan will stay with Ms Williams and catch the next flight to New York. For now, it's time for you all to depart," and as they did so, James and Mark gave me a look. James understood my grin, but Mark was still perplexed.
Smith handed me Ms Williams along with my backpack and reminded me once more not to leave her alone. The walk from the lounge to the security office was exhausting for me and Ms Williams was sitting outside the security department, looking drained out too.
"Are you all, right?" I inquired, taking a seat beside her and she smiled, indicating that she was doing fine.
Immediately, one of them arrived to transport her to their head office and I was told to wait outside. It had been more than an hour and she had still not returned, which was making me anxious. Slowly, my mind began to enquire as to how she got the gun here. I didn't know what to do and sitting idle wasn't going to get me anywhere, so I started walking instead which again was useless. After forty minutes, she eventually came out and shook hands with the officials with confidence.
I dashed up to her, and she started smiling "Wow, Mr. Ryan! Were you scared? Take a look at your face. Even my father would not have been as concerned as you in these circumstances," and she began to laugh.
It was relieving as well as really worrying to see her laugh and when I asked her what had happened inside, she said it was some sort of misunderstanding that she had resolved. But still I wasn't ready to believe that things are fine when you just got out of a police room because of a gun and was tense. Again, a police officer called her and she smiled at me to calm down, going back to the room again. We had to wait another couple of hours for the formalities and procedures to be completed while Smith mailed us our tickets. Our flight was at five o'clock in the evening, so we'd be stuck in the airport for the next six hours. After we finished all of the formalities, we went to the private lounge so she could rest for a while.
She appeared to be at ease, but the smile on her face wasn't natural. So, I asked, "Are you okay, do you want me to get you something?"
"No, no, I'm fine," she said right away.
I could hear her stomach growling as soon as I returned my attention to my phone. It was it; I couldn't stop laughing and she was too embarrassed to speak. "Fine, I'm a little hungry, but don't worry, I'll get something in the flight," she said. I couldn't ignore it and knew exactly what I needed to do, so I excused myself and went straight to one of the food courts.
I returned to her with a few sandwiches and two cups of mocha hot chocolate, while she still had her earphones on and her gaze fixed on the laptop. She was shocked when I placed the mocha in front of her eyes. She removed her earphones and asked, "Ryaan! How did you figure out this was my favourite? Hot cocoa mocha?" When I nodded, she pouted her lips like a puppy.
Ryan! Don't be taken in by it. No, control.
The excitement on her face as she watched her food made me wonder if she was the same woman who will be the next CEO of a world-famous brand. She bit into her sandwich and sipped her drink "Oh, Ryan, this feels so good. I thought I was going to starve to death. Thank you very much," she said, while kissing me on the cheek.
Yes, it felt good and I was melting inside but didn't want to show it, so I said, "I know my ways, " with a wink, to which she smiled brightly and continued to eat.
"Is this why you're known as the ladies' man?" She said this while stuffing food into her mouth. Well, I'm your man technically Ms Williams.
We didn't talk much before they announced that our flight was ready to board. After boarding, we were soon in the arms of the dark blue sky, which was surrounded by clouds. One of the flight attendants queried "Would you and your girlfriend like something to drink, sir? There are both alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages available."
My girlfriend? Yes, soon to be I suppose, but we haven't gone on a date yet. But wait, do we appear to be a couple? Maybe one of those power couples. Ryan, shut the fuck up and get yourself a drink first, my head reminded me.
Gathering myself, I got myself a glass of white wine and when I looked over at her, she had already dozed off on my shoulder. So many thoughts were racing through my mind and it was a life-changing journey for me indeed. Is this for real? Is it true that this is happening to me?
How is that even possible? Did I just make her fall for me that soon? Was it that easy or I assumed it would be tough? I wasn't able to believe this is all true because I am not a person who believes in true love and shit but still hope for a perfect girl. Was she sleeping or acting like she's taking a nap? We literally spent almost a day together but why didn't she talk about what happened last night? Is she embarrassed or does she have any idea about what had happened? That's when I thought; What if I had the sex with someone else?"
Fuck Ryan! Why do you always think weirdly?
Is it true that you want to be my girlfriend, or are you just joking around with me like I used to be with other girls before? Ryan, just forget about it and go with the flow. All you need to think about is NOW, the present. She is in your arms and just enjoy every moment with her.
Thank you for coming into my life Ms Williams.