At that moment, I thought I was about to have a panic attack. I called him for the 36th time and still received no response. My mind was completely frozen as I pondered why he hadn't returned any of my calls. My legs weren't touching the ground, and I had been so idiotically smart that I had left my admit card in his office, expecting him to accompany me. I was staring at his building, wishing he could come and get me soon, telling me not to worry. In frustration, I kept hitting my knuckles with my hand and biting my inner lips. My anxiety was at its extreme that I could not control my thoughts or feelings anymore. At that exact time, my mind flashed back to my dad's conversation with me at the breakfast table this morning and it drove me up the wall.
It was driving me nuts when I started to think about what would happen if I didn't make it to the exam on time.
Instead of worrying about my current situation, I began to worry about Lucas. What could possibly have happened to him? Is he all right? Did his dad say anything to him? Is it possible that his dad hit him or sent him somewhere far away from me? Did Lucas decide to end our relationship? Is there a brutal reason we kissed yesterday passionately, maybe for the last time?
I knew I was overthinking a simple situation, but couldn't stop myself and Lucas was nowhere to be found when I needed him the most, which frightened me even more. That's when I noticed Harold, his secretary, entering their building.
I didn't realise I was on the other side of the street and just ran to him without thinking twice. I was captivated when I noticed a car approaching at full speed in the middle of the road and thought I was going to die at that moment, but some miracle struck when the car turned the steering quick enough to not run over me. The man from the car cursed his lungs out but I had no interest in wasting my time to apologise to him.
Without thinking anything, immediately I dashed inside the building, screaming the secretary's name and when Harold turned around to look at me, their guards had me handcuffed. He was surprised and asked, "Anna, what are you doing here? Didn't you have an exam today?" and he ordered their guards to release me.
"Yes, I have an exam in thirty minutes and why is he not picking up the phone? He promised me he'd drop me and... "
"Sorry Anna, but sir has gone for an important meeting and I guess..." he checked the time and said, "He won't be able to meet you."
All I could think about was him smiling yesterday and promising to come along. But did he dump me or was he made to dump the plan in the first place? I did hear his father was a bit strict, and I wondered what if he had found out about my frequent visits in the office and made Lucas take a horrible decision.
I was so preoccupied with him that I forgot I had an exam and it was getting really late. The words of my dad, the conversation with Lucas, my exam, the entry card, all of that kept hovering all around me and made my head burst in pain. Even though I tried my hardest to remain calm, the anxiety within me was not ready to leave me alone. I screamed his name while clenching my fist.
"It's all right, Anna; you still have time. Why don't I drop you in the car, I'm sure we'll make it on time," he said calmly.
"I left my entry ID on Lucas's desk, goddammit, how am I going to attend the exam?" I almost yelled at him to make him realise what the real issue was.
He responded right away "So just go get it from his office and then I'll take you," he was putting my patience to the test.
Taking several deep breaths and saying "WHY WOULD I BE STANDING HERE HAROLD, IF I HAD THE CARD TO GET INTO THE BUILDING AND HIS OFFICE?" People around looked at us strangely.
After the scream, he realised what I was going through and immediately called Lucas, who, to my surprise, answered. That really annoyed and disappointed me.
I told him to put the phone on speaker so I could at least hear his voice and his explanation.
"Sir, Ms Anna has been waiting for you in front of the office for quite some time. Unfortunately, she had left her exam ID in your office and did not bring her card to gain access to your office. So, can I just go to your office and get her required belongings?" That's when I realised that even his secretary needed permission to enter his office.
Lucas excused himself from his meeting and moved exclaiming, "What? Is she still in the office? Didn't she check her voice mail, I left? Pass the phone on to her."
"Harold, I don't want to argue with him and am not in the right mood for a conversation. I want my card for the exam, that's all. Just get me the card," I said aloud enough for him to hear.
"Harold, go on then, use your card and allow her to take things from the office," and he hung up the phone.
We rushed to Lucas' office and as soon as Harold opened the door for me, he left to get the car ready before I got in. When I walked into his office, I got a different vibe; something made me nervous. Anyway, I looked through the desk for the ID card but couldn't find it. When I opened one of the drawers, I found my card along with a few other items. He had bought my favourite chocolates and a pen for me. It was from the exclusive collection of customised Montblanc and had my name carved on it, just the way I liked. I had seen this on both, dad's and Lucas' desks, and it was one of his favourite inks which I always wanted to use. I was overjoyed to see my name on it because it was one of the things, I desired from him. That full silver pen with my name on it was my wish for a long time and I never imagined he'd get it so soon. A small card was also present along with the other things but I was running out of time. So, I quickly took them all, left his office and as I came out of the company, a yellow Ferrari F430, 2004 model came right in front of me with its loud sports engine. The car looked familiar to me and quickly I realised that it was Lucas's favourite, which he had got as a gift from his dad. Wait, had Lucas come here? Was he in the car to drop me off? It was our car for the drives we went on. I was completely taken aback. But when the glasses were lowered, it was Harold. He gestured for me to get in the car and with a truck load of disappointment I sat asking, "This car? How are you inside it?" "Sir directed me to use this car to pick you up so that we'd be there on time. Don't worry," he said as he accelerated the beast.
Sitting in, I thought about the voice message Lucas had mentioned in the call before and looked at my phone. Shit, I had forgotten to shift to my personal sim on which Lucas would usually leave messages, for me to not get caught. There were two mails, and that's when I realised, he had actually left me a voicemail, as I felt extremely guilty for being so harsh on him when the fault was mine.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't make it to your exam today, Dar lin. I have an important meeting that I cannot cancel. Anyway, best wishes for your exam and I know you will enjoy my small gifts. Let's meet at my place after your exam. Yeah also, I have some things to say to you too. I love you and please stay safe."
After hearing his voicemail, I had a tonne of conflicting emotions going up and down my body. I immediately checked the card he had left for me and read the message, "ALL THE BEST MY DAR-LIN. MAKE ME PROUD AND I WILL BE WAITING FOR MY HUG." It broke me, it shattered me down. That day, I didn't feel right about anything and all I wanted was for the day to end so I could talk to Lucas as soon as possible.
The words my dad said that morning kept running through my mind and my gut feeling tortured telling me that something bad was about to happen. It made me feel guilty and scared, and at the time, I wanted to flee that location.
We arrived at the examination hall in exactly twenty minutes, but the exam had already begun. I felt bad about yelling at the secretary before, so I paused briefly before I ran to my hall and said, "Sorry and thank you."
He wished me luck with a huge smile on his face. The nervousness inside me was completely taking over my nerves as I was about to enter the hall but wasn't able to muster the courage to open the door to my hall. At that time, all I could think about was Lucas. He had taken over my soul completely and I began to prioritise him over myself, forgetting my exam. I gathered my courage after a few deep breaths, and as I entered, the entire hall was staring at me. The invigilator glared, lowered her glasses, and whispered something but wasn't audible enough. But anyhow, I explained my problem to her and managed to persuade her, after which she handed over the exam paper. The questions made me feel even more nervous after I took my seat. Few questions were easy and a few were difficult but I knew it was lowering my confidence, so I began shading the sheet right away. I abruptly zoned out, thinking about Lucas once more.
Is it his fault or mine? Why didn't he pick up when I called, but instead attended to his secretary immediately? Is it true that I am not his priority or that I rank last on his list of priorities? What is he doing to me? He sounded different on the phone and what if he's seeing someone else? Was he going to be dumped now? Does he think I am a child or a young girl whom he had only pity for and nothing more?
Anna, it's you who made a mistake here, he did send a message but you didn't see. But wait, I had already told him how important this was to me. Who was right and who was wrong? He is simply engrossed with his work. Yeah, it's true that he is a perfectionist and wants to take over his dad's company one day. No Anna, don't be selfish. If you were in his shoes, you also wouldn't have had any other option but to obey your dad's order. I know, his dad means a lot to him just like my dad to me, but he could at least have picked up the call when I was calling him like a lunatic early this morning. If you have moral qualms about your boyfriend, the relationship will not last long. Don't be obsessively in love because it doesn't really take a long time for everything to change toxic?
And I'd been fighting a long battle with my heart and brain. I wished to break my habit of overthinking because I have completely squandered my one hour.
The invigilator just passed by and I was thinking about what possible reason Lucas could have occurred for him not to accompany me. It was soon time and she announced the paper's submission. I stood up and handed over my papers to her without hesitation. She tried to tell me something, but I dashed out the door without listening.
I walked out with a sad face, letting out a sigh, while all the thoughts kept quarrelling and noticed Harold waiting for me on the bench, in this sweltering heat. I was unfair to him too and felt a sense of urgency to apologise to him again.
When he spotted me, he approached with a bright smile and asked, "How was the exam? Was it easy?" I of course didn't have a positive answer and with a sad smile, I nodded my head implying "No." His bright smile slightly turned a bit down but quickly he recovered it, to encourage me and said, "It's okay. Let's go soon then, Mr Lucas just finished his meeting and I'm guessing he's now at the guesthouse, waiting for you."
As we walked towards the car, he asked, "You must be hungry, right?" as I still was drenched in guilt, "I am so sorry for behaving really rudely earlier, it was the situation. I hope you didn't take it personally and yes I am hungry."
All he did was smile and escorted me inside the car filled with good food. I was literally stuffing my face with all the sandwiches he had bought for me and choking on the shakes because I had a lot of thoughts, about the exam, about dad, about Lucas being disappointed in me and the list was long. I just didn't know what to do.
The flood in my head made me lose track of the surroundings.
Soon Harold stopped the car in front of the tree house saying we had arrived. I looked up and there he was, standing there on the balcony, waving at me. I got out of the car and ran over to him. I literally jumped on him and he laughed at me while I cried hugging him tightly as he smoothly lifted me in joy. That's when I realised what I'd do without him and how I'd get by without his presence in my life. I was sobbing uncontrollably, but he was just giggling and trying to comfort me. He kept saying "I'm sorry baby," like it was a slogan. Soon after, he instructed his secretary to leave my belongings in the other room and led me to the bedroom.
After his secretary had left, he carried me and sat on the sofa, as I was wrapped around him like a koala and asked, "Now stop the drama Anna and tell me how you did on your exam?"
"Drama? Seriously? Did you really just say that?" and honestly what he said took me by surprise. I couldn't believe he described my love as drama and he still remained calm in front of me.
I yelled, "Do you have any idea how much I had to go through today because of you? And all you say is that I was putting on a show for you? I couldn't do ..." and kissed me on the lips.
He knows how to shut me every time and I hate that I lost to him, by smiling.
"I didn't do well," I admitted, biting the corner of my mouth.
"Nah, it's fine, it was just an exam and also I'm sure you'd get a good grade, I mean good enough to pass," he said, "Anyway, I had a really bad day, so let's just forget everything and tell me, what shall we order in?" he mumbled and changed the subject by ordering pizza and drinks for us. I didn't bother asking him again because it didn't feel like anything was wrong and I was too tired to deal with any more problems.
I've heard people say that one day you have to face the ugly side of happiness and that day, I witnessed the end of the dark tunnel I was travelling, thinking it was a journey of happiness.
Everything went perfectly fine until my professor, Ms Finn, summoned me to her cabin. She appeared out of nowhere in the middle of our afternoon class, yelling my name in annoyance, a minute after talking to our lecturer and I wasn't ready to go along with her. Ms Finn is the only person in this college who hates me. Not because I wasn't getting good grades, but because she couldn't possibly have swallowed my dad into her love trap. She has been trying to hit on him since the day I got to this college. Despite the fact that I was aware of it from the beginning, I decided not to tell her. She held a strong grudge against me since my dad insulted her in front of the crowd once at the party and never misses an opportunity to bring me down.
I knew that she always called to embarrass me and point out my mistakes. This time, she began shooting my flaws towards me like bullets even before I entered her dirty cabin. She began by criticising my behaviour in class, and then moved on to criticising my performance on my tests, which I had expected from her.
"I am aware of your presence, Ms Anna Williams. Daughters like you should have received special attention, but you don't have anyone to look after you. That explains your bad behaviour. I can't believe you're Mr Roy Williams' daughter. How can you be such a horrible self by being the daughter of such a wonderful man? Look at yourself, just showing off that you're from a wealthy family by wearing those pricey accessories," and I chose to remain silent because she was venting her rage on me.
"How are you going to handle your father's business with these mediocre grades you get? These don't even qualify to be a university student like you," she threw the paper in my face. It was the first time anyone had ever spoken negatively about me and she continued, "With this small brain of yours, you will not be able to manage your father's empire and believe me, you are not capable of doing so too. I am in no position to say this, but I'm telling you anyway because it's important to your father and I respect him. Anna you're not cut out to be a businesswoman and lack the maturity to be a woman in charge. You're such a spoiled brat..."
"MS FINN!" I said, raising my voice at her.
"Enough is enough. Why are you involving my father in my issues? Oh! Wait! Is it because he turned you down?" and she, too, was taken aback.
"I know it was my fault this time and that I should have done better on my exam, but I, too, had my reasons. You have every right to speak about me, but not about my dad. Ms Finn, I believe you are not the accurate person to make comments about my father, so please don't get there," I said even when she wasn't ready to leave me. I'm not sure what gave me the courage to argue back that day, but a saying of my father came to my mind.
"Winning gives you power, so learn to win and, even if you make a mistake, don't let the crown fall."
The conversation heated up to the point where she threatened me, saying she would tell my father everything that happened in college. For a quick moment, it entered my mind and I lowered my confidence.
She blackmailed me into bringing my nanny, Ms Bella to campus. This made things worse for me because I was worried about my father and what if she told Bella that I wasn't attending my evening classes which would result in her finding out I was getting into Lucas' car.
"Apologise, and I'll let you go," she said, a grin on her face.
I despise apologising, even if the mistake was mine and Lucas was an expectation. If this ends up on my dad's table, both Lucas and I will be messed up and our year of love would be shattered. Lucas was right, and I should have been more cautious with her, controlling myself. I had to let her go because I didn't want any problems to get in my dad's ears. So I put my head down and said, "Ms Finn, I apologise for my bad behaviour and I will never let you down with my test scores."
She walked up to the door and said, "Pick those papers," and stepped on one of them with the attitude of a winner. I glared at her, and she did, indeed, have that cruel smile on her face.
As I knelt down to pick them up, she opened the door and stood right in front of me with a sudden change of her facial expressions. Before I could realise what was going on, she exclaimed, "Oh Anna! Please stop making me feel bad! Why are you begging? It's fine, you don't have to be this sorry," and all of my professors noticed me kneeling down to her. I was so embarrassed and my rage was boiling out from inside.
She came down to my level and said, "This is how it feels, and you deserve every bit of it. You don't justify the respect and admiration that everyone lavishes on you."
It stung me and my rage with embarrassment turned to tears. I didn't want to cry in front of her and make myself look weak but my tears were not cooperating.
Bella, my nanny, barged into the office at that precise moment and when she saw me kneeling down, she yelled, "ANNA? What the hell is going on here? Why are you on your knees? Why are you crying? Get up," and tried to pull me up.
That's when I realised people have two faces, and she still called Bella, even after I gave her what she wanted.
"What the hell is going on here, Ms Finn?" Bella inquired, perplexed.
"Miss Bella, she is getting what she deserves. It is my responsibility to teach her what is right and wrong?" and Bella immediately inquired, "Who are you? Who are you to persuade our little girl like that? Have you forgotten who she is?"
"I was aware that her father was a brilliant student in our college. Despite the fact that she is his daughter, her marks are silent. She is only receiving what she deserves, ma'am. I believe she needs to understand the gravity of her situation and I have discussed this earlier with her father..."
"Even if the mistake was hers, is this how you treat a grown-up girl? Should I inform the board of the college about all of this petty behaviour you show to your students and how badly you treat them?" my nanny screamed at Ms Finn.
She immediately got triggered when Bella mentioned that she would go up to the board. So, she said, "I did nothing wrong. As a duty of a teacher, I taught her how to behave and that's it. Honestly it should have been your job to take care of her and make her realise her life. It may sound like I'm crossing the line but since she doesn't have a mother to teach her how to behave and even you didn't raise her to the expectations of her dad…"
Maybe I would have shown her where she belonged, if Bella hadn't been here.
"SHUT UP, YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!!!" I stood up, pushing Bella's hand away from me.
"What exactly did you just say? Is my upbringing simply wrong? Didn't your parents teach you how to keep your legs together and shove your bullshit up your ass? So, brace yourself for that, because I'm going to make sure you leave this city and fucking make sure to put you and your unbothered life under my grasp. Better be ready to get your shit together, you're about to kiss my a$$. Ha, you say I'm not fit to be Mr. Roy Williams' daughter, really? I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO HAVE CROSSED THE LINE. I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH POWER MR ROY WILLIAM'S DAUGHTER HAS, TO BREAK YOU DOWN INTO PIECES."
I immediately left campus and took a cab to Lucas' tree house. I tried calling him, but he was also testing my patience by not returning my calls. I was so enraged that if anyone even touched me, I would have erupted in madness.
"TREE HOUSE IN FIVE MINUTES. I need you there before I arrive or all of your precious treasure will be shattered into pieces on the floor," I texted him. He immediately responded, "Who is it this time? I'm in the middle of a meeting, so please wait for me in the cafe; I'll be there in twenty minutes. PS, don't scream my name in anger after reading this text," and this amply proved that he knew exactly how to control me.