Before I start this story, I need to say, it was never my intent to kill him, I swear. I don't know what happened. Everyone already blames me, even the police… my life is over, so I guess no one will really believe this, but please just hear me out.

I can understand why it's so easy to blame me. I've made many mistakes in my time, specifically regarding my anger, and yes, I've been very violent from time to time but I promise, please believe me, I would never kill anyone.

All my life I've struggled a lot with my anger. One particular story I remember was I had lost a game to my older brother. I was 6 at the time, and well I attacked him. We wrestled for a bit before I pushed him down the stairs, but I felt so bad right after. Thank god he survived, we were home alone, but thankfully, my parents had given me a smartphone and I had called the police.

Even though he didn't die, he suffered second impact syndrome as he suffered two concussions on his way down. He had also broken one of his arms… he was in a coma for a little over half a year, undergoing a few surgeries to keep him alive. I put my parents in debt over this and I had to begin seeing a psychologist.

He had diagnosed me with Intermittent Explosive Disorder but no one thought much of it, but it didn't stop there. Whenever I was under any sort of stress I'd flip out and attack something, or someone, but I couldn't control myself! I swear… I never meant to hurt anyone. I had a therapist, bless her soul. She began to think there were more underlying issues and she began to believe I suffered from some form of Schizophrenia, but my parents didn't believe her, and refused to have me get any further tests done or any treatment.

I don't think she was wrong though, as I got older I began to feel anxious all the time, like I was being watched, the slightest sounds I thought were whispers, my anger was replaced by panic, I had become a shut in and despite the severe head trauma he suffered at a young age my brother went on to become the star quarterback of his High School team, and gained multiple offers from scouts. Then there was me, a complete shut in. I wasn't allowed to watch TV, play video games, or even talk to other people because my parents feared what I might do.

But soon, I met Mikey, he was such a nice guy. Our backyard led into a forest and I decided I was tired of never leaving my home, so I ran out into the forest. I came across a river and there he was, skipping rocks to the other bank. I was scared at first and nearly had a panic attack when he noticed me, but he was very kind and gentle. He guided me to the bank of the river and taught me how to skip rocks. He was so patient. I immediately wanted to be friends with him. But, he had to go before I asked if he wanted to be friends, but every day I would go back to the river bank and skip rocks, hoping he would show up.

It wasn't until about maybe a month later when he showed back up, he looked exactly the same as he did before. He said he'd been thinking a lot about me and tried to come back but never found the time due to his overbearing parents. I felt very connected to him, his life resonated with mine, I'd never met anyone like this before, and I finally asked him if he wanted to be friends and he agreed.

He just seemed like a really genuine guy, but I began to fear I'd lash out at him, or if he was just trying to make fun of me, I didn't know what to do, I was in a constant panic… and I attacked him, I tried to drown him… but he didn't even fight back, instead he just sat there. I panicked and immediately pulled him out of the water in fear of myself and what I'd done but he wasn't mad, at all. He told me it was common for people like me. People like me? Now that I'm writing this all down it does sound a bit strange.

But I felt relieved and so happy to have finally found someone who understood me, who was patient with me and didn't just try to hide me. I showed him to my house and we snuck in the window and we just talked for hours before he had to go home. But he would visit almost daily and we'd just talk.

One very important day was about two months in, when he came over he had this little machine. I'd never seen anything like it, he said it was a Nintendo 3DS just released a few weeks ago, he got it from his parents but didn't really want it, so he gave it to me. I was infatuated with it. He taught me how to play and gave me a few games and I had the time of my life, of course I kept it hidden from my parents.

Soon Mikey had left, but not too long after my parents burst in demanding to know where I had been, of course I never left my room and I told them that, but of course they called me a liar, so like any sensible parent would they installed security all over the house, if a door was opened, they of course were alerted, they also got one of those fancy doorbell cameras, of course they said it was just to keep me safe, but I knew it was bullshit.

Soon the time came and I was forced to do their stupid idea of home schooling, but they didn't know what they were doing, not at all, in fact everything I know is thanks to my brother, but nonetheless I pretended I was learning to appease them and moved on. I spent all my free time playing with the 3DS Mikey gave me, but I hadn't seen him in a while, but I knew he'd visit soon so I remained happy, until of course… that night.

I know you don't know what I'm talking about so I'll obviously tell you, but my parents got into a massive fight, my mom was tired of all the effort, if you can call it that, she put towards caring for me, and keeping me safe, and that my dad was going to throw it all away. Turns out my dad was wanting to put me into a public school. It got really heavy, I remember their exact words"You just aren't fucking listening to me Damien! If we send him into a public school he's going to hurt another child! This time it's going to be one that's not even our own! We can't take another financial loss like that! Think about us!"

"And what about him?! Are you caring more about your status than your own child! He's not happy! You won't let him do anything! And then I find while I'm at work you're here just neglecting him! Of course I didn't see it sooner cause those stupid little jackets you buy him! He's starving, how often do you feed him?"

I tuned out the rest, the next thing I knew my mom had thrown something at my dad… He was knocked out and of course, just my luck, she noticed me, she began to cuss at me and lunged for me. I sprinted away as fast as I could in a panic, I was scared for my life. When i ran into my room, Mikey was there, he hushed me and slammed the door, by the time she made it into my room, Mikey attacked and pushed her from my window… she fell to her death, I tried to talk to Mikey but he just shook his head and escaped through the same window my mother fell from. I went to my dad and called the police, for the second time in my life, I was calling the police for an Injury in the family

Of course my dad and I were brought in for questioning by the police, they tried to convict me for murder. Lucky for me because mine and my dad's stories matched, I was let off and the death was marked as an accident. Despite the death of my mother things from there actually got really good for me. My brother and I got closer and he helped me in my first year of highschool, despite it being his last, I made a lot of friends and was actually pretty popular among my peers thanks to him.

And of course my relationship with my dad got so much better, but it didn't last long, not even a year after I was nearly convicted for murder the sheriff arrived at my school and wanted to question me, not wanting to be suspicious, I of course listened to him, I wish I had just refused, I didn't even know what pleading the fifth was at the time. He told me that when I was being questioned I failed to mention how my mother fell, that all that happened was I described what happened that night. He pressured me into speaking as he began to go deeper into his suspicions even mentioning how I brought up Mikey.

I swear I never mentioned Mikey, I don't know what happened, but all these thoughts began to fill my head. I couldn't begin to comprehend any of them, I was so scared. I just got so stressed I was so panicked. I just ran away, I don't know if he chased me, it was all a blur, I apparently had ran all the way home and broke down on the floor. I didn't know what to do, everywhere I looked all I could see was the sheriff, all I could hear was him questioning me. I just wanted to escape

I was ready to scream out but someone took my hand, it was Mikey, he hushed me and hid me under the table. I had no idea what was going on but his presence calmed me, so I listened and remained quiet. Mikey approached the door and answered it the moment someone knocked, when he answered the Sheriff's voice rang out, it was like I was right in front of him. I tried not to scream as he continued to talk, and Mikey invited him inside, I had no idea what he was planning or what he was going to do, next thing I knew I heard the sheriff cry out in pain, I ran over and Mikey had stabbed the sheriff in the back, he laid on the floor writhing in pain and turned his gun towards me, but Mikey finished him off before He could fire.

There was blood everywhere, all over me, all over Mikey. What had he done? He grabbed me by the hand and led me into the forest and we reached the river. He began to talk to me but he sounded… just insane, that he needed to protect me, and that he needed to keep me safe at all costs, waving around the knife he had used to kill the sheriff, despite all the stress I knew what I had to do, I tackled Mikey, it was just like when I was younger fighting my brother as we wrestled for control we fell into the river, and the current began to sweep us away. Next thing I knew I found myself washed up and felt a knife dig into my thigh.

Mikey had made it just the same as I had, and he really wasn't happy with me, he went on and on about how ungrateful I was being, that no one will ever care about me as much as he did, but I'd heard enough, I tried once more to wrestle the knife away, pain seething from the wound in my leg, but I couldn't let him win. I managed to get his head into the river as he swung the knife wildly, cutting me a few times before planting the knife in my hip, but I could barely feel it… and in the end I strangled him, but everything, it went dark, I began to hear his voice again, next thing I knew, I was back home, covered in blood with wounds of my own. So, I ran. And now here I am, there was a note left by Mikey, but I swear I killed him. I don't know anymore

So, that's my side of the story, I feel like I'm about to lose consciousness, I'm not ready to die, I don't want to, what happened? How did it end up like this… you don't have to believe me, this is all I have left.