Ling was floating.
At least, it felt like he was. He was not sure if his eyes were open or closed, because everything was pitch black either way. He could not feel his hands,or his legs,or any part of his body for that matter. But he could hear quite fine. Those voices echoed in his head, haunting him as they had always done since his childhood.
'Strike, Ling'.
'Strike, I say'.
'Lift your sword, you embarrassment'.
'You are weak. Is this how you plan to lead the Guangchang clan?'.
'What a shame. What a waste of talent'.
'Will you really refuse to be of some use this one time?'.
'Does it hurt, child? Do you want the pain to end?'.
'Once you're rid of us, we'll be rid of you too,a win-win situation, don't you agree?'.
'Of course I say so because I love you. What mother does not love her child?'.
'Be a proper son just this once, that's a good boy'.
Ling knew he was dreaming. But try as he did, he could not wake up. He panicked, struggling to escape the confines of this dream.
Dreams like this were the scariest. They held him down like chains, smothering him like a large wet blanket.
"A-Ling"cool hands held onto his.
Ling gasped awake.
"A-Ling, are you okay?".
He turned sharply, coming face to face with Chao's concerned expression.
"A-Ling...".
"I'm fine,"he replied, recovering"was just dreaming".
"A nightmare?".
"No. Not a nightmare".
Nightmares always vanished when he woke up. They didn't remain in reality, waiting for him back at the Phoenix Retreat.
"Okay. You fell asleep, and I knew you weren't feeling very well so I let you be. But then you looked afraid... agitated..."Chao's light brown eyes met his"are you sure you don't want to talk about it?".
"I'm fine"Ling insisted.
"Okay,"Chao gave his hands a gentle squeeze before letting go"how do you feel now?".
"Fine".
"Are you sure?"Chao felt his forehead"you're burning up".
"Well,"Ling shrugged"it's not like you have any herbs that can take care of that".
"I don't,"Chao's face fell"I'm sorry".
"Don't apologize for things that are no fault of yours".
"Huh? Okay".
But Chao was evidently still thinking about Ling's fever even as he fell silent.
"I could get some water..."he offered.
"And offer that angry lake your arm as payment? Just don't bother. It's not worth it".
"Oh".
After a while, he asked hesitantly.
"Do you want my robes? You need to keep warm".
If his head wasn't aching so much, Ling would have laughed out loud.
"Dear Pan Chao, you already ripped up your outer robes. If you take off the other ones as well...is your plan to make yourself a martyr down here?".
"..."
"Sor...".
"Don't apologize"Ling cut in.
"Okay".
There was a very long period of silence. Then Chao spoke again.
"A-Ling, what do we do?We need to get out of here, and that beast hasn't gone away, I'm sure. I don't even know where we washed up...".
"Bow..."Ling said wearily.
"What?".
"I need a bow. We can do something if I have one".
"But there isn't anyway we can get one right now".
"I can make one. It'll probably be worthless after two uses without quality material, but it will do".
"Okay,"Chao said brightly"I'll go search".
"Wha...".
But Chao was already gone before he could get a complete sentence out.
In resignation, Ling closed his eyes and took deep breaths, counting the seconds. Just when he was starting to wonder if he should go after Chao, the boy returned, his arms full.
"I wasn't sure what exactly you'd need, so I just brought everything I thought looked useful"he said, dumping a heap of items at Ling's feet.
"Will these do?"he asked.
"They should, I suppose. Thank you".
"Oh no, it's no problem at all".
"Just say 'you're welcome' or something"Ling retorted as he proceeded to examine the things Chao had brought.
"A-Ling, you said you need to make a bow, but you don't have an arrow, do you?".
"I'll make one too, of course".
"Okay"Chao sat beside him, observing the process of making a bow out of sticks and lengths of string.
"You're really great with your hands, A-Ling"he said in admiration, recalling Ling's tent pitching skills.
Ling merely shrugged in response.
In what felt like no time at all, the bow was ready.
"Now all that's left is an arrow"Chao said happily.
"About that...".
"Is something wrong?".
"Not really, just... I need to make an arrow that will actually be of use. With the things I have right now, that isn't achievable, unless I can find something hard enough to make the arrowhead".
"Something hard enough..."Chao mused.
"That,"Ling snapped his fingers towards Chao's topknot"your hairpin".
"This..."Chao mumbled, lifting tentative fingers to the jade hairpin carved in the shape of a dragon"w-well... you see... this...".
"What?If you want to say something,then say it".
"This is like an identity, to the males of the Pan clan... like a badge, you know?".
"The Pan clan would want you to live. Is one ornament more important than your life?".
"No, but...".
"Sect leader Pan won't sweat it, trust me".
"Oh... okay".
Ling turned his attention to making a shaft for the arrow while Chao proceeded to unravel his topknot.
"Here".
Ling turned to collect it, and his hand froze in midair. He really could not help his surprise. It was a little unsettling- all Chao did was free his long hair from the knot, and suddenly he seemed to have become a totally different person. With that one action, he instantly went from merely pleasant faced to astonishingly good looking.
"Uh...is something wrong?"Chao asked.
"Nothing,"Ling took the hairpin and turned back to his work"I'm just wondering why you bother with the topknot. You look much better without it".
"Oh".
"What's 'oh'? Don't tell me you never noticed".
"Well, I did..."Chao giggled nervously.
He chose to always wear his hair in a knot atop his head, precisely because it made him look less attractive. But he couldn't exactly tell Ling that, especially since he did it because people kept comparing Haoran to him,ever since they were children. Since they were always together, nearly everyone made sure to point out that Haoran's features were quite mediocre compared to his, hence his decision.
Fortunately for him, Ling had no intention of pursuing the matter any further. He was too busy with somehow making a jade ornament into an arrowhead.
"If we both make it out of here alive,"he suddenly said"can I paint you sometime?".
"Huh?"Chao turned to him.
"Don't look at me like that. I'm an artist,of course I have a natural desire to appreciate beauty".
That was actually very true. Ling was,by nature, drawn to beautiful things... and people.
Drawn to them in the way of an artist,a master of the brush and palette.
"Sure"Chao replied cheerfully.
"Thank you".
In the silence that followed, Ling found himself wondering why he wanted to paint Chao. It felt like his desire to paint Yingyue- it had nothing to do with physical appearance.
After all, his parents and elder sister were paragons of beauty, but he would eat hair soup before it ever occured to him to paint any of them.
But wondering did not help him arrive at any answer. Sometimes Ling did not understand his own self.
Making the arrow took longer than expected, but at long last it was done.
"A-Ling... do you have a plan?".
"Of course I do".
"Thank goodness,"Chao said brightly"I don't have one, even though I've been thinking so hard".
"Don't sweat it".
"So, what's your plan?".
"We don't have the ability to kill it, that much is clear. But we don't need to. Did you notice that its side is missing a chunk of fur?".
"No, I didn't. It is?".
"Yes, from when my sister's sword struck it. I can get an arrow in through that vulnerable spot. That should be enough to distract it for a sufficient period of time. I hope you're good at running for your life".
"I suppose I am".
"Good. Then we're good to go".
"But, A-Ling...".
"Something the matter?".
"Uh, nothing. Just... I'm sort of worried".
"Don't worry. You'll definitely escape without further harm. That much I promise you".
Something about those words gave Chao an odd feeling.
"A-Ling,why do you put it that way?".
Ling cocked his head slightly.
"What way?".
"It almost sounds as if... nevermind,"Chao extended a hand to Ling"let's both make it out of this place alive and in one piece, A-Ling".
Ling looked at him in surprise,then hesitated, before he took the offered hand.
"Let's do this".