"No! Stop!" I shout at myself inwardly, attempting to regain control. This incredible man continues to shower me with kisses, but I need to take charge. I gather my strength and lift my hands, wrapping them around his neck, reciprocating his affection. His kisses intensify, trailing down my neck as he gently moves my hair aside. Tremors course through my body, and I struggle to catch my breath, my head spinning.
As he starts to remove my wet dress from my shoulders, exposing more bare skin for him to explore, I begin to lose my footing. My legs give way, and I find myself slipping down, unable to stand. Sensing my struggle, he pulls me tightly against his body, and my feet dangle in the air. Just as he is about to continue undressing me, he realises that the laces are at the back. Turning me around while still holding me securely in his arms, he grapples with the tangled laces. As I face the tent wall, the wooden shelves press into my stomach, jolting me into clarity.
I start to think clearly, realising that being in charge of my life doesn't have to entail this intimate encounter. I still have a choice, and we still have a choice. We haven't done anything yet that we might regret.
"We need to stop," I manage to say, my voice filled with determination. "We should talk first."
"Talk about what? You said you wanted me to stay. I stayed," he retorts, a hint of smugness in his voice, as he struggles with the laces of my dress.
"Yes, but you need to hear what I have to say because once you learn the truth about me, you might want to leave," I reply, urgency in my voice.
"Nothing you could say would ever make me want to leave you," he responds confidently, still holding me in the air, trying to untangle the laces.
"Don't say that... You don't know what I'm about to reveal."
"I know how I feel... After today, I know that only death could tear us apart."
"There are things that tear families apart, believe me, I know."
"Are you considering me family?"
"Oh, that's not what I meant," I groan internally, realising I'm only making things more complicated. He needs to know the truth before this situation spirals further out of control.
"What do you mean?" he asks, turning me around. I feel the laces of my dress being untied, making it loose and barely held up by my elbows. I know that any movement will cause the dress to fall to the floor, leaving me completely exposed.
"I mean..." I struggle to find the right words as his gaze captivates me, rendering me unable to think clearly.
"First, I need you to let me go," I plead, wriggling in his arms, but he tightens his hold on me, enjoying the moment. He smiles and says, "Where are you going? You were about to explain. I'm listening."
I cease my struggle, taking a deep breath, and say, "I can't talk to you like this. I'm wet, cold, and dirty..."
"You didn't seem to mind any of that a few minutes ago," he remarks with a smirk on his face.
"Well, I mind now. Could you please let me change?" I respond with a serious expression, hoping he understands the urgency. He finally releases me, and I quickly retrieve my clothes from the floor, glancing at him, still staring at me intently.
"I need you to turn around," I request.
"If only you had waited a few more minutes, I would have gladly relieved you of that dress," he teases with a mischievous grin.
"I'll go and get you warm tea," he says with a warm smile before leaving the tent.
As I hurriedly change, I reflect on the warmth I feel for this man. Despite our brief acquaintance, he has repeatedly saved my life without expecting anything in return. He is a rare find, and I consider myself fortunate to have crossed paths with him.
Once I'm dressed and wrapped in a few layers to warm myself up, I start untangling my hair when Boleslaw returns to the tent with a cup of warm tea.
"Thank you," I say as I lead him to our usual sleeping spot. We sit down, and as I sip the tea, I observe his smiling face before me.
"This isn't easy for me to say, and I worry that when I do, you might think I'm crazy, lying, or who knows what else," I begin, noticing his playful lashes flicker in amusement. I continue, "What you said yesterday at the fireplace... I can't deny it anymore. I have feelings for you. How could I not? You've saved my life countless times, you're brave, strong, and wise. You take care of me... and there's something... something real between us."
The truth spills out as I share my story. I start with my real name, Bethany, and reveal that I am not a Valgarian. I delve into the details of Michael kidnapping me through time, his subsequent abandonment in this unfamiliar place, and the existence of my living family who likely believes I abandoned them.
As I recount my tale, I witness the earlier smile, confidence, and spark in Boleslaw's eyes gradually fade away. Relief washes over me as I realise he believes me and doesn't perceive it as some ploy to push him away.
"So, you see, if I choose to stay with you and we build a life together, what happens when, someday—whether it's next week, next month, in a year, or ten years—Michael returns and wants to take me back home? What will I do? Which family will I have to abandon? Do you wish to be with me, knowing that I might leave you someday to return to my husband, my kids, my parents, my friends, and my home?" I pose the agonising questions, awaiting his response.
I witness the worry etched on his face and the pain reflected in his eyes as we sit there in silence. Eventually, he breaks the stillness.
"I'm sorry for the fate that has befallen you. I wish I could help you find your way back home..." he murmurs softly.
"Thank you," I respond, a tear slipping down my cheek. He draws closer, enfolding me in his arms, and kisses the top of my head as I allow the tears to flow silently. I know this is the end. Any hope of a life with this man is now extinguished.
He holds me tightly, and we eventually drift into sleep. When I wake up, I'm still cradled in his embrace, resting against his chest, listening to the rhythm of his breath. I don't dare to move; I want this moment to linger as long as possible. It's the only goodbye I'll ever receive.
Back on that chaotic morning, I didn't have a chance to bid farewell properly to Robert and my children. The rushed "bye" at the door was all we managed as they piled into the car...
This time, I'll savor each second and relish the warmth and gentle love that Boleslaw offers. I'm bidding adieu to him, but also to any other potential love I could have in this time. If I can't fully commit to a man like him, there's no one else I'll be able to build a life with here...
From this moment forward, I'll be alone.
My thoughts are interrupted by Frida, who abruptly enters the tent through the flap.
"It's the middle of the day. What are you... still sleeping?" Her gaze lingers on our cuddled forms, and she appears slightly uncomfortable before quickly leaving the tent.
Boleslaw's eyes snap open, and we both sit up straight, aware of the breach of our private moment.
Later that day, Boleslaw goes to inquire about the departure plans of his countrymen.
"In two days at dawn... Arne, will you be joining me?" he asks.
"No, my friend. I'll be returning with Frida and her clan. We want to be wed," Arne replies, almost whispering the last part.
"Very well, then. I'm happy for both of you. Congratulations, happy couple!" Boleslaw raises his cup, and everyone gathered around the fireplace cheers.
The next couple of days pass swiftly yet peacefully. We know where we stand and find solace in that understanding. We continue to spend every moment together, no longer needing to hide our affection. Neither of us holds back. We're aware that our time together is drawing to a close, but we're determined to relish what remains.
Finally, on the early morning of his departure, I tenderly kiss him for the very last time, watching as he rides away.