A few days have passed since Boleslaw's departure. Now, I am preparing to leave with Frida and her clan. There is much to pack and organise for the long journey ahead.
Our clan has been honoured by the king for our bravery and cunningness, receiving trophies, gold, and various other items. We also have an abundance of food for the trip.
Many people have already departed, leaving the camp feeling sparse and empty.
When we are finally ready, a sense of sadness washes over me. I am moving farther away from the place where I last saw Michael and leaving behind the memory of love.
It takes us two days of walking until we reach the shores. Numerous large boats are docked here, adorned with carvings of mermaids and serpents. We are traveling alongside the king's personal army, and he provides us with one of his boats to take us home.
We spend over a month at sea before catching sight of the shores of my new home. During the voyage, Frida continues to teach me how to fight. I feel that these skills may be necessary in the new reality of my life.
Once I am introduced to Frida's father and her tribe, I begin to feel more confident as a warrior. They welcome me as one of their own. Frida explains that my bravery and actions have contributed to the tribe's recognition by the king, resulting in the gifts and honours bestowed upon them. This testimony solidifies my status within the tribe.
In my new home, I am granted a hut in the village, which I make my own. I am embraced by the shield maidens community and join them for regular exercises, sword practice, and hunting trips into the woods.
The initial weeks prove to be the most challenging. I am plagued by memories of Michael's face and the sound of my children's laughter. I find crying myself to sleep every night. Amidst it all, my heart also aches for Boleslaw.
As the weeks pass, I realise that staying busy makes time seem to fly by, but when I am alone in my hut, I often find myself crying, longing for Robert, the kids, Boleslaw, and even Michael.
Arne and Frida celebrated their wedding on the night we arrived in the village. Their union coincided with the celebrations of our return. After a couple of months, they decided to return to Polan land to inform Arne's family about their marriage. Their departure only amplifies my loneliness.
Although the people in the village have been warm and welcoming, I tend to keep to myself most of the time. Despite the curiosity and interest that Frida's fame has brought, I am too hurt by recent encounters with strangers who have entered and then abandoned my life. At the moment, I simply have no room for anyone else.
***
It has been over four months since Frida and Arne left. I have settled into a routine here. Every couple of weeks, I go hunting for five days, while the rest of the time I train with the other shieldmaidens. I have grown accustomed to the constant loneliness and have learned to live with it.
Lately, I have been receiving attention from admirers. Several men have expressed their desire to marry me. In the past three weeks, I have declined four of them. Strangely, my rejections seem to attract even more suitors. One man, Ragda, particularly stands out. He is a hunter, advisor, and best friend to the Jarl. I feel his eyes on me daily, but fortunately, he has yet to approach me, and hopefully, he won't.
I am out hunting. I have been tracking this deer for the past three hours, and for the last hour, I have been lying in wet grass, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Just as I throw my knife at the deer and move towards it with my sword to end its life, I notice Ragda running from the opposite direction with his sword. He attacks the deer and swiftly brings an end to its struggle.
He looks at me with pride. I respond with an unimpressed grunt, retrieve my knife from the deer, and begin to walk away.
"Wait, I killed it for you," he shouts.
"You can have it. I'll find a better one," I retort.
"Not today. It's almost night," he points out. I realize he is right—I have wasted the last few hours of sunlight for nothing.
"There's always tomorrow!" I call back without looking back at him.
He runs in front of me and stops, causing me to halt and face him. He speaks, "I meant no disrespect... I killed it for you. Let's share it tonight. Tomorrow, I can help you find your own."
"I didn't need help finding this one. I'll find another one tomorrow on my own."
"Alright, then spend the night with me. Let me cook the animal for you... as an apology?"
"I appreciate the offer, but I prefer to be on my own," I say as I maneuver around him.
He grabs my wrist, and I shoot him a dirty look.
"Why don't you want to share a meal with me?" he asks, clearly annoyed. I glance at his hand on my wrist and remain silent until he releases me. Then I reply, "No disrespect. I simply prefer to eat alone."
"Beth!" he shouts, and I turn to face his now angry expression. He continues, "I am the most eligible bachelor in our village! What is it that you don't like about me?"
"As I said, no disrespect. There is nothing I dislike about you. I just prefer to be alone," I clarify.
I hear him mutter some curses under his breath as I walk away into the forest. I worry that he might try to follow me, but after a few miles, I become certain that he didn't. I enjoy this time in nature. The air feels so fresh during this time, and the food tastes amazing.
I do miss ice cream, chocolate, wine, coffee... coffee shops... supermarkets... jeans... warm jackets, hats, and gloves... clean toilets... my family...
***
I have contemplated many times the idea of dumping some of the white powder into the water to see if I could find a way back home. But the fear of "what if" has always held me back.
What if it doesn't work? What if it takes me back in time instead of the future? What if I end up in a worse place? Here, in this tribe, I have safety, respect, and value. All these "what ifs" seem to keep me trapped.
"Beth! Beth!" I hear the little girl from the neighboring hut calling my name as she runs towards me.
"What is it, Inga?"
"Beth, you need to come! Come now!" she shouts, pulling me along.
Worry fills me, and I start running after her. We hurry through the village, and I notice that most people have already left their homes. As we approach the center of the village, I see a crowd gathering inside the Great Hall.
Somewhere in the commotion, I lose sight of Inga, but I decide to stay at the back, curious about what is happening. I soon realize that our traders have returned, bringing with them large trunks that they place in the middle of the hall for everyone to see. As they begin opening the trunks, revealing their contents to the Jarl and the crowd, my interest wanes, and I decide to return to my hut.
Walking back along the now empty path, I hear footsteps behind me. When I turn around, I can't believe my eyes—it's Boleslaw. He stops as I turn and takes a moment to gaze at me before continuing the rest of the way towards me. I am stunned. My heart races in my chest.
He looks well, still as tall and handsome as I remember. His blue eyes peer deeply into mine, and a wide smile adorns his face. Standing there in front of me with that enormous grin, he seems unsure of what to do. We stand in silence for a while, allowing our minds to catch up with our hearts.
As I set my eyes on him, all the feelings from a few months ago come rushing back, flooding my heart. My body begins to tremble, and my knees feel weak.
He reaches out for my hand, but I can't resist and throw myself into his arms instead. He accepts the embrace, holding me tightly, shielding me with his strong arms. A joyous laugh escapes his lips, but tears stream down my face. How I missed someone—someone who loved me without reason.