"The patient had been harming herself for years, apparently. The mother had caught her red-handed that time in the bathroom. Also, taking the words of the patient herself, her father had been sexually abusing her. She was threatened if she were to tell anyone about this."
"What was her name again?"
"Czarina, seventeen years old."
The door to the patient's room opened. Czarina, who had been diagnosed with severe depression, was sitting in the corner of this white, too big for one person, room. Her wrists were full of slashes; I can imagine how painful that must be, especially when it gets wet. This must have been going on for years for it to lead to this situation, where she was having suicidal thoughts and had started to harm herself in any way she thought possible. I crouched down to her level, and Czarina tried to hide her face from me. Her eyes were swollen and puffy, definitely from crying too much; her lips were dry and broken; she must be really dehydrated.
"How are you feeling?" She did not respond. I smiled. "My name is Katarina, and I can be your friend. You don't have to be afraid; I am here to help."
Czarina's wounds needed treatment. I have told the nurses to put away all the things she could use to harm herself with. Although she hasn't spoken a word to me, I understand why. It is hard to talk about the things that have traumatized you. I take myself as an example. I had witnessed my whole family get killed. They say that when you die in a war, your death becomes heroic. However, becoming the sole survivor can be traumatic, as the scene and the feeling stay with you forever. Perhaps that was one of the reasons I chose to become a psychiatrist.
"Dr. Do, do you have any plans for tonight? Would you like to eat dinner with me then?"
"I'm sorry, but I have to stay in the hospital until one o'clock."
"I told you she wouldn't say yes."
"I had expected it, although I wonder why she doesn't want to date. I heard from somebody that she actually likes women better than men." I almost spilled my drink. Do they realize that I still haven't gotten far and that I can hear them? That is by far the worst rumor I have ever heard, although I cannot blame them for thinking like that about me.
I have been working in this hospital for almost four years now, and just like what happened today, a few people have tried asking me out, but I always refuse. They say that it was no surprise that some would have their eyes on me since I am not at all ugly, which I also think is true. However, I have my own reason as to why I always turn men down; it is because of Riley Martins.
2 0 1 7
It was the day that I have always waited for; the day that I have always prayed to happen—I am finally going to meet Riley after two years of just seeing his beautiful face on my computer screen. I had managed to buy myself a ticket to the band's concert in my state from my school's allowance. I turned my wrist to check the time. There were fifteen minutes left before they made their appearance on stage. I definitely cannot wait to see them perform my favorite songs live!
"What's up?" Cameron's voice echoed from the microphone. The lights dimmed, and the crowd went wild. I always knew that they were famous, but the number of people that attended tonight's show shocked me. They would scream and jump, and I felt so proud as if I were a part of the band. I laughed at that thought.
The show ended at 11:59 in the evening. As I was waiting for a cab to drive me home, a black van stopped in front of me, and it made my heart beat twice as fast. I sure would not like to be kidnapped tonight; I want to go home with not a single finger detached from my body. I pulled my string bag close to my chest and kept my head as low as possible.
"How could you have forgotten your phone at the venue? Geez, Ri, you can be really clumsy at times." Timothy Martins, the youngest member of the band, jumped out of the van with a cup of iced coffee in his hand. Next up was the man that I have always dreamed of meeting face-to-face: Riley. And although I said that, I truly cannot muster up the courage to strike up a conversation with him. Our eyes met, but being the coward that I always am, I looked away. But like other celebrities, Riley has passed me by as if he had failed to acknowledge my existence. I wished that a cab would finally come by and take me away from this suffocating place, but he was already back, and I am still here.
"Have you found it? You're lucky!" I had my head down low, but I sure could feel a gaze that was burning a hole in my back.
Please go away. Please go away. Please go away.
"Excuse me?" That voice snapped me back to reality; the chant did not work. "I was wondering... Were you waiting for a taxi to come by?"
I swallowed hard. "Yes." I checked the time once more, and it was already past midnight. My mom would definitely give me a good scolding after this.
"Would you like us to take you home? I mean, it is late, and you shouldn't be in a dark place like this at this time of the night. We're good men, I promise."
2 0 2 3
It had already been six years, and I should have moved on. But it was like I was in a loop, and I was stuck in that time of the year 2017. I had replayed that scene inside my mind countless times; even now, I am thinking of it. I laughed at myself; there really is no hope for me. But oh, how I wish that I could meet him again and thank him for offering me—a total stranger—a ride home that night. Although I do not think that he remembers me.
"Excuse me?" My head turned to the back when a man called for my attention. "Could you tell me where Hunter's office is?" My jaw dropped to the ground; wasn't I just wishing to meet him again? What is he doing in front of me?
"Hunter?"
"Oh, sorry. I mean, Dr. Perez?" It had been six years, and yet his voice has not changed. His physique did, though; I guess he had started working out, but it is only natural for men to want to have muscles.
"Take a left from here, then straight; stop by the sixth door, and he should be inside."
"Awesome, thanks!" His eyes traveled down to my chest. "Dr. Katarina Do." I see he took a peek at my name tag.
"No problem. I'll be on my way then." My knees turned into marshmallows; I can barely take a step.
"Oh, but it is nice to see you again!" I turn back, and he is smiling from ear to ear. "I see you've become a doctor; that's great! I had wondered about you since that night; it really is amazing that I could meet you again."