'Who should I talk to about this?, Was the only question plaguing Nakul for the past few days. His dreams about Dhiraj were becoming quite.... convoluted. With not being able to understand what was going on in his mind, he thought the best solution would be to talk to someone about it. But who?
He knew no one who could help him understand- why he was getting turned on by another man. All his life he had been attracted to women. So now why would he be suddenly getting butterflies at the sight of a man?
He had started becoming more and more conscious of Dhiraj ever since he started having those dreams. The slight gazes, him standing close to Nakul, His collarbones...and his chest. Often during their conversations, Nakul's eyes subconsciously went on those pecs of Dhiraj. For some reason he found it quite difficult to resist the urge to touch them. What would they feel like? Was something he often wondered about. Only to realize what he was thinking about a second later.
He must clear his mind about this.
Hence began the quest to find someone whom he can talk to about this topic. His sister was the first one to pop up in his mind. But.....he put off that thought. Maybe he can find someone better. That was when a person flashed in his mind. It was his 16 year old student, Gracy. [A/N: She appeared in chp 2 and 3]
She was the president of the unofficial club called "Rainbow club" which mostly was a sodality group for students supporting the LGBTQ community. ,Maybe I can talk to her?! No, she's my student. How can I talk to her about this? Yeah that's the right thing to do. She is just a kid. She won't be of any real help anyway. Yeah. That's right. Let's ask someone else.'
Although he had decided otherwise, life had different plans for him. He found the 16-year-old sitting in front of him in the empty classroom.
"What are you doing here?" Gracy questioned as he couldn't help her get curious as to why her teacher was sitting by himself in an empty classroom, despite the fact that she had witnessed Nakul sitting by himself on many occasions.
"I am doing my work" Nakul answered without looking up from the book he was reading.
That's when a mischievous thought popped in her mind. She smiled to herself and despite knowing the trouble it might get her into, she asked it.
"How's your boyfriend?!" she asked with a playful smile.
Nakul put his pen down and looked up. He caught Gracy staring at him with that playful smile. It reminded him of Dhiraj for some reason.
"He's not my boyfriend." Saying that, he returned to skimming through this book.
"Oh.....I thought...you were...dating" Gracy pretended as if she was just an innocent girl and continued, "Ah.....Bummer. If only I was like.... 5 years older. I would've definitely gotten him to be my boyfriend."
"He isn't into teenagers" Nakul defended Dhiraj unknowingly.
"Oh. So you do keep in touch".
Nakul didn't answer that. Upon not getting any response, Gracy pouted. "Well...I'm rooting for you guys...."
All Nakul could do was roll his eyes. Silence took over the room. And Nakul thought that might just be the opportunity to ask his question. Should he? He took the chance.
"Gracy?! What's going on with your club?" Nakul questioned her about the unofficial 'Rainbow club'.
"Oh we are doing great!! We won the last match..." But she talked about her Soccer club.
"No. I'm...talking about the....other one?"
Gracy was quick to understand what he was talking about. "That one is doing good too...Why? Are you curious about it? Wanna join it?"
"No...No....I'm just asking coz I'm your teacher....and...I should help you guys...if you have a problem...."
Gracy felt it was ironic coming from the man who didn't want himself to associate with the man wooing him. "Are you sure you can help?"
"Of course!! In fact....I wanted to ask you..." Nakul finally decided to ask his doubts to Gracy, "How did you come to know that you were like...like...."
"Like?" Gracy's playful smile reappeared. For some reason she found it amusing that her usually uptight teacher was asking her about such intricate matters.
"Like...you are bi....I guess...?I mean how can you be sure about it? You are just 16"
"Yeah, you're right. I'm just 16. Sometimes I myself feel confused about it. But I can't ignore what I feel right?"
"What if it's just curiosity?"
"Good question. I too felt the same. That's why I thought it's better to find out if it's just curiosity or something more....."
"Oh..." Nakul was even more confused than before. How can one be so nonchalant about something so grave.
Gracy caught a hint of what her teacher was doing. He was trying to find answers to his own questions in other's explanations. 'But these are your personal experiences. You need to find answers for them yourself.' Even though she knew what he wanted to ask, she couldn't just directly go on talking about her teacher's love life and his confusion. All she could do was help the protagonist of her ship find answers through her experiences.
"Okay...." Gracy knew she had to convince him to give Dhiraj a chance some other way. Her eyes lit up when she found a solution.
"Sir, remember when the coach wanted me to play in the semi-finals, but I was afraid of what if I tank the team instead? Remember you told me something...I can't quite recall it...Can you?" Gracy pretended as if she was trying hard to recall what that was.
The memories of a year ago flashed in front of Nakul. What was it that he told Gracy? His eyes suddenly widened as he understood what his student was trying to teach him.
"What was it...Ah..." Gracy pretended some more. Waiting for Nakul to answer.
Finally, Nakul did.
"I told you that.....Running away from your fears won't help you. Because you will always have the anxiety and potential regret of : what would've happened if I would've tried? ; chasing you. And if you did try it, what could be the worst outcome? That you failed? But at least you won't have any regrets."
"Oh yeah....I remember it" That mischievous smile reappeared on Gracy's lips.
Running away. That's what Nakul did most of his life. The fear of not being accepted. The fear of people judging him because he's a monochrome, drove him into a corner. Isolating himself felt the easier option to choose. If he wouldn't get close to people, he wouldn't get hurt right?
But....What if he did let some in?
What if....he did give Dhiraj a chance?
* * *
In the stillness of the night, a nervous Nakul paced back and forth, waiting for Dhiraj to join him on the sofa. His awkward silence during the dinner had garnered attention from Dhiraj. Upon asking what the issue was, Nakul had simply replied with a "let's talk later"
And now here he was, with his body turned ice cold, having no idea about how he should approach the topic. He did make up his mind to confront his 'doubts'. But how? 'Should I just go to him and tell- Dude. You get me hard in my dreams. I wanna know if that happens when I'm conscious too? Or is it just my mind playing games with me?'
'Fuck. I can't ask him that.'
"Hi....You wanted to chat?" Dhiraj inquired oblivious to the tornado of thoughts going on in Nakul's mind.
Even that simple question put Nakul on edge. "Ahhh...yeah..."
They sat on the sofa with the same awkward silence they had during dinner. Dhiraj had gotten a whiff that something was wrong. With concern in his voice, he asked Nakul, "Is there any problem?.....Did I do something....to make you uncomfortable...?"
"No...No..." 'Fuck. I think I won't be able to talk about this if I'm sober.'
That's when something clicked in his mind. He immediately ran to the kitchen and reappeared with a bottle of wine. 'Maybe if I drink a bit, I'll get the courage to say it.'
"I wanted to celebrate!! You got a new client right?" That was true. Nakul wanted to do something to celebrate it. But drinking was not what he had in his mind.
He filled 2 glasses and gestured to Dhiraj to have one.
"I..I don't drink....I've....quit...."Dhiraj scratched the back of his neck to hide his embarrassment.
"When?....oh...." Nakul remembered how Dhiraj swore not to drink again when he begged Nakul to not leave him. 'I thought he just said that for the sake of it. He actually meant it?'
No. That wasn't the time to get swayed. He HAD to confront Dhiraj about what he was feeling. And so Nakul chugged down the wine. One more glass. Then one more. He drank till the point when his body felt warm and his heart all giddy.
His eyes fell on the man sitting on the other end of the sofa. He huddled up his knees together and rested his head on them, intently looking at the man next to him. Dhiraj looked calm and collected as ever. Legs crisscrossed, looking at the empty wine glass in his hand, Dhiraj just.....looked mesmerizing.
'Is that what they call being effortlessly sexy?!' Nakul turned and sat facing the man as if burring holes in him. Dhiraj couldn't help but notice those drunk eyes and finally he turned to Nakul.
"What?" Dhiraj simply questioned.
"How can you look good all the time?" It was the wine doing the talk. A sober Nakul would never have the guts to say that.
Dhiraj let out a small chuckle all flustered. "You are exaggerating."
"No...I'm not.... Like see your hands...." Nakul's actions become bolder. Although Nakul didn't slur on his words, it was evident that he was somewhat drunk. He inched closer to Dhiraj, sitting only at an arm's distance.
Taking Dhiraj's hand in his, he continued, "I always thought your hand would be so big. But see. It's only slightly bigger than mine." He let out a foolishly wide grin as he brought his and Dhiraj's palm together, comparing the size.
That small gesture sent an alert signal throughout Dhiraj's body. He was already keeping himself on edge after he had made the grave mistake of getting physical with Nakul when he was drunk. He didn't want to make any other mistake. He desperately moved his body behind, distancing himself from Nakul. But that went unnoticed by Nakul as his mind had some other important matters to tend to.
"And your chest...." Nakul's eyes went to Dhiraj's pecs that were quite evident from the somewhat well fitted T-shirt he was wearing.
"My chest..."Dhiraj's ears perked up. He had never expected Nakul to be interested in him or even his body. So now his baby talking about his chest? How could he miss that?
"Yeah...I always wondered if it was soft...like pillows...." Nakul kept staring at those pecs, not ready to move his eyes somewhere else.
Dhiraj was clearly taken aback by that remark. He tried pushing his luck. "Well, they might be soft...like pillows.....You can try sleeping on them if you want...."
"I can do that?" Nakul was definitely out of his mind. Rather, he was done caring about his rational self. All he knew was he wanted to touch those soft cushions. 'They look tempting.' He moved even closer, sitting on Dhiraj's lap.
'What the fuc-' Dhiraj poor heart nearly jumped out from his mouth. His baby was mounting over him?!!!!!! His sense of logic was coming to an end and his body had started reacting. He tightly gripped the top crest of the sofa, desperately stopping his hands from holding Nakul's waist. His breath staggered.
But an oblivious Nakul was more interested in the chest in front of him. He placed his hand on Dhiraj's chest, feeling the tight muscles underneath the fabric. Along with the muscles, he felt Dhiraj's heart, beating at a frantic pace. That made Nakul chuckle.
"Your heart is beating so fast..." Nakul chuckled, "it might just pop out"
Dhiraj was already on the verge of losing his sanity and here was Nakul, making fun of him. "Hey...don't mess with my heart..." He directly looked into Nakul's eyes. His eyes pleading Nakul to have some mercy. But Nakul was enjoying the effect he was having on this man.
Wanting to test Dhiraj, he started fondling Dhiraj's chest. "They ARE soft...hehe..."
Dhiraj arched his back, resting his head on the crest of the sofa while trying his best to not to let out any sounds. 'Fuck...why do you have to be so cruel babe..?'
Dhiraj shut his eyes close, waiting for the sweet torture to end. And a few minutes later, it did. He opened his eyes to take a look at what's happening and saw Nakul's gaze focused down onto their crotches. A slight bulge was visible through Dhiraj's trousers. Upon realizing that, he looked away, ashamed of how easily his body could get aroused. He thought Nakul would be grossed out by that sight. But his baby had some different plans.
Nakul's mind was clouded. Clouded with the curiosity to know how far he can play with this man, who got aroused even by his smallest touch. The wine had given Nakul some dangerous amount of courage. An amount that Nakul hadn't expected he would get.
A sadistic streak was visible in Nakul's smirk, as he put his hands behind Dhiraj's head, cupping his neck. Their eyes meet and Dhiraj could sense that sadistic urge. His judgment was confirmed when Nakul very slowly started moving his waist, grinding his dick against Dhiraj's slight erection.
'Fuck. He IS a sadist. Ahhh...' Dhiraj nearly moaned. Nakul kept pushing himself slowly against Dhiraj's erection, making it harder with every passing second. That WAS a torture. A torture because Dhiraj wanted to touch and kiss and feel every inch of Nakul's body so bad. But he knew he just cannot do that. All he could do was bury his fingers harder into the couch, resisting the urge to touch the man he lusted after. The more Nakul grinded against his crotch, the harder he resisted himself at moving at Nakul's pace. If he did anything more, he would lose it all. But thankfully the torture ended soon as Nakul stopped after a few seconds.
"See I told you..." Nakul remarked, still looking at their crotches. Dhiraj wasn't able to understand what Nakul meant. But only a second later he did when Nakul continued, "I won't get hard. It's just in the dream..."
"The dream?!" Dhiraj unconsciously muttered.
Nakul looked up like a lost puppy. "Yeah. In my dream you get me all hard. And touch me. And make me come....you got me so confused..."
Now THAT was some brand-new information to Dhiraj. 'Is this why he was being all awkward these past days?' Dhiraj concluded that his plan of getting Nakul to stay with him was indeed working. Nakul was starting to get attracted to Dhiraj.
"What do I do in these dreams?" Dhiraj asked Nakul with his sly smile.
"You....You....touch me...."
"And?!"
"And get me hard?"
"Do you like it when I do that to you in your dreams?"
Nakul's face had turned all red. Flustered, he got off from Dhiraj's lap. Dhiraj knew he cannot miss a chance like this. A chance to get Nakul to admit that he DID in fact like Dhiraj to some extent.
"Hey.....answer me..." Dhiraj pressed on the question.
"Well.....it doesn't matter. Coz see, you didn't get me hard now..." Nakul removed his pants without any hesitation to prove he had no erection. And that sight caught Dhiraj off guard. Blood rushed into his brain as he averted his eyes in embarrassment. He wasn't sure if would be able to handle that sight.
"See!! I'm NOT hard. You don't make me hard. It's just my head playing games with me." Nakul pulled up his pants. Dhiraj wasn't sure what he should say next. He was too stunned to say anything. 'Say something!! Anything!!' His mind screamed. But what he said next was something even his mind didn't expect.
"I can get you hard"
"What?" Nakul asked
'What are you saying Idiot!!' Dhiraj's rationale screamed but he still continued, "I can get you hard. I can prove it to you."
"No, you can't. I touched your chest. Still my peins didn't react" An out-of-his-mind Nakul argued.
"That's because you didn't let me try. If you let me, I can do that."
Nakul pouted. He was done with the confusion and doubts. He wanted answers. And so he replied, "Okay. Do it!!"
"Now?" Dhiraj had no intention to get intimate with Nakul especially when Nakul was drunk.
"Yes now!!"
"We can do it later..."
"NO!! Now!! It's now or never...." Nakul crossed his hands, hinting that that was his final decision.
"But you are drunk. I want to do it when you are sober...." Dhiraj voiced his concerns.
"Who are you calling drunk? I'm sober enough to understand what's going on!!" That statement did hold some truth. A part of him was aware he would never be able to clear his doubts as his fears of venturing into the unknown will stop him. He knew it HAD to be now.
"No. You have drunk quite a bit. I don't think we should do it now." Dhiraj pressed more.
"Just say you aren't confident..." Nakul let out a smirk as he unbuttoned his trouser again, trying his best to seduce the man in front of him.
That drove Dhiraj to the end of his wits. He jumped closer to Nakul, their faces only inches apart. "Don't test me" Clearly hinting Nakul not to seduce him.
Dhiraj's stern eyes only made Nakul want to know how much that man can hold himself back. He whispered in Dhiraj's ears "But I want to" and then let out a seductive smile once again.
Dhiraj moved away, cursing under his breath. He was caught in a strange dilemma where Nakul was initiating the 1 thing that Dhiraj was so very much starved for. But he wasn't sure if Nakul actually meant his actions.
"But you are drunk...."
"I.AM.SOBER. My name is Nakul Shirvastav. You are Dhiraj Raghuvansi. My sister is Riddhi. My Jiju is Harshwardhan. I have a niece named Tara. My mom is..." Nakul started reciting his family tree to prove that he was in the right mind.
"Okay...okay..." To Dhiraj it seemed like...he can give in. Nakul stopped the recitation. He looked at Dhiraj waiting for him to make his next move. Dhiraj looked back at Nakul, lying on his forearms with his breathing unsteady and buttons of his trousers undone. It was like the prey was himself inviting the hunter for a feast.
'Fuck it. How can a dog say no to a bone thrown in front of him?!' Dhiraj decided to give in.
"You sure you wanna do this?" Dhiraj confirmed once again.
"I bet you can't get me hard" Nakul challenged him. And that was all the trigger Dhiraj needed.
"Don't blame me later" Dhiraj muttered as he dug into the feast in front of him.
He shifted his focus on Nakul's waist, slowly removing Nakul's trousers. Now that Dhiraj was finally down to the deed, Nakul got all embarrassed. His head started clearing and he understood the outcomes his decision can have. But Dhiraj was unaware of this. All he could focus on was Nakul's long elegant legs, smooth thighs and what lay in between them.
He started his trail from Nakul's calves. Slowly biting on them. Nakul's back arched up every time a soft, wet sensation landed on his legs. He had never been handled this way, with so much care and ease. And that made his body feel some unknown sensations.
Dhiraj carefully made his way to the thighs, biting and sucking on the pale skin till it blushed into shades of pink. He had to be patient. Savor every bit of Nakul. And soon Dhiraj arrived at the final destination. His heart picked up pace. He paused. He realized something wet around his own cock. The bulge in his pants had swollen up despite the fact that it wasn't even being stimulated. Maybe it was because his mind was. The fact that he was able to touch Nakul was enough for his body, mind and heart to react.
He had been with many men before but never had he been so excited yet nervous. He let out a small sigh of relief when he saw a lining of a boner on Nakul's briefs. See, I told you I can make you hard. A smile seeped on his lips as he was proud of his achievement. Ignoring his own needs, Dhiraj focused on the task at hand. He removed Nakul's briefs. His baby's cock had a similar size and shape as his. Well, his baby was only a couple of centimeters shorter than him in height.
His eyes won't leave the sight of the treasure twitching in front of him. And that made him even more proud. He took a quick glance at Nakul to know how Nakul was feeling when he realized Nakul was covering his eyes with his forearm. 'No, that won't do.' He wanted Nakul to see everything. Feel everything. Every tiny detail. And so he removed Nakul's hand. Their eyes locked. And a confident Dhiraj said, "Eyes on me."
He took Nakul's right hand and placed it on his head while intertwining his fingers with other's, as he finally went down on Nakul. He took Nakul's penis in his hand, stroking it slowly, making more of the liquids ooze out with every stroke. Nakul's voice hitch. And that prompted Dhiraj to increase his pace. He focused on the base, stroking it harder.
"Ahh..."Nakul bit his lips in an attempt to hold back those nasty moans.
But Dhiraj was making it impossible for him to do so. He changed to stroking Nakul's cock from the base to the top and Nakul's hips unconsciously started thrusting at the rhythm of Dhiraj's hands. He was feeling it. Dhiraj had not even started with the deed, when Nakul was already nearing the edge. Maybe because that stimulation was becoming too much for him.
"Sto..ah..p.." Nakul let out another moan mixed with a plea. But Dhiraj had no intention to stop. Instead he engulfed his baby's cock with his mouth. When was the last time Nakul received a blowjob? He couldn't remember. His mind was turning into a mush due to the sensations he was getting. He couldn't take it anymore. 'Shit...I wanna come.'
Nakul gripped Dhiraj's hair tighter and started thrusting his penis deeper into Dhiraj's mouth. The tightness was just right. Damn this is good. Nakul remarked as he increased his pace unaware of the state of the man, he was shoving his cock into. All he knew was that he wanted to lose control and give in to a state of ecstasy.
"Just a second more" Nakul blurted as he forced deeper into Dhiraj's throat.
'Fuck....This is good.....' He came in Dhiraj's mouth. 'So good. I might get addicted to this.'
"Shit babe... you are wild...."Dhiraj remarked as he wiped Nakul's cum off his face. He didn't give a damn about the way Nakul had just shoved his cock in Dhiraj's mouth. His baby enjoyed it. That's all that mattered to him. That itself was a reward for him. But before he could ask Nakul how it felt, Nakul had passed out.
All Dhiraj could do was let out a sigh. He got up, brought a wet cloth and wiped off the cum. Then changed Nakul into a fresh pair of briefs and loose trousers. He carried Nakul to his bed and left the room only after placing a small peck on Nakul's forehead.
Dhiraj's mind was in an overdrive mode as it won't stop daydreaming about how their relationship would progress after this development!!
* * *
"You what?" Dhiraj was in disbelief upon hearing Nakul's words.
"I...don't really remember much of yesterday....", Nakul let out a small chuckle, "I hope I didn't do anything stupid...hehe...."
'So, we are back to square 1', was all Dhiraj could conclude after hearing that.
* * *
*Nakul in chp 2: You aren't that good looking.
*Nakul now: How can you look good all the time?
* * *
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