The day is sunny, the cherry blossoms are gently falling. Wait, this is not the time for this. I agreed to help that girl, what am I going to do? She's taking me... Oh, shit! I'm an idiot for agreeing. Am I really that weak towards girls? But she cried. Why did she cry? If I think about it, she's had quite a few boyfriends and I've heard rumors that she's been with several. So why did she cry?
I can't stop thinking about it, but in the end it doesn't matter. I don't care about that girl, honestly. In the end, I'll just get money for all of this, and that's what she'll stay at. I head towards class, it's already quite late.
"Sora, Sora! I see you lost in the clouds, what's wrong?"
I really think I got myself into a tremendous mess. This is Aoki, my best friend. We've been friends since we were kids. He's really popular with girls, while I'm more or less fun, at least that's what I'm told.
"What happened, Sora? You really look pensive."
It's complicated.
"What do you mean complicated? Man, you can do it. You've never had a girlfriend! You should take advantage of it now. But... wait, come to think of it, it's kind of ugly, isn't it? At least for me. I know I date a lot of girls, but it's not because I'm a womanizer or anything. Honestly, maybe it sounds weird, but I like being in that environment. I feel like I fit in when I talk, especially with girls."
So, that tidbit of information that she's dated so many men didn't interest me at all. I'm sorry to say it, but it kind of grosses me out. I think I do it for the money. The truth is, I was thinking about someday leaving home, and this opportunity presented itself. I can take advantage of it in many ways.
"So, what are you going to do with Yuna? You like her, don't you?"
Yuna... Yuna. Right, she doesn't know. How can I explain to her that I'm dating a girl? And that it's just a challenge. If I explain it to her, she won't believe me. She's very pure. Just by imagining it, she'll tell me I'm self-serving and a pervert.
"Better if you don't tell her. That would be enough."
But she might realize the situation at some point, and that would be much worse.What can I do? Thinking logically, the most feasible option for her not to find out is simply to act with Ayumi at times when her mother is present. After that, there would be no reason to act anymore. I think this is the best option, or at least the only one I see feasible.
"Sora, but you could take advantage of Ayumi. After all, she's your girlfriend. Maybe you can get beyond that."
Beyond that? I certainly could, but I don't know why thinking about that girl makes me sick to my stomach. That tidbit of information that she's been with a lot of men...it disgusts me. It's simple to be told that a girl has had that many men puts you in a situation where you wonder: why did she do it? That really doesn't matter to me. But she cried. That's an interesting fact. Could it be that she's looking for someone? But at the same time, it puts you against it. At least until we get out of school, that fact is still up in the air. The boys, as well as the girls, know that fact. She has friends, but they are just like her. They've had several relationships, but in the end, she's the biggest rumor. Thinking about all this makes some sense. Anyway, I don't love her. This won't be like those light novels I've read. Or will there be a story like that? I remember reading it a long time ago. It was about a boy and some of his family, and the girl asked him to be her boyfriend because they were going to get engaged to be married, but they were in college. This is high school. In the end, these three years the rumor will go on unless something really happens that changes people's perspective of her. But is she trying to do that, is it because of her mother this change or is it because of her?
I have to be careful with her. She knows a lot of things about relationships that I don't know. In the end, I never had a relationship. Well, I had a little one when I was a kid, but I didn't even know that being boyfriend and girlfriend was a relationship. In those days, I thought being boyfriend and girlfriend was like being best friends. The thing is, she knows. Maybe she'll seduce me, maybe she'll kiss me, maybe she'll try more extreme things to get me to stay with her. But I just have to say it was a lie and pay her back. I don't have to spend it, because by spending it I'll be owing her. By keeping it and if things go wrong, I'll just give it to her. Here it will all stay, and she will lose out.
"I won't do it, Aoki. I'm not attracted to that girl. I just do... Why is that? I can't find a reason why she did it. My action at that time was beyond what I thought."