Today, as always, I find myself questioning my own decisions and actions. After all I've been through, why am I still like this? I accept things I don't want, I say I don't want to do something, but I end up accepting it anyway. I should stop being such a jerk about some things, really, that's the only thing I can say about it.
"Aoki, what should I do about Ayumi?", I asked with a tone of concern and fear evident in my voice.
Aoki glared at me and replied, "But what are you afraid of? I clearly remember that you didn't like Ayumi, you even said you hated those kinds of people. I don't see what the problem is."
"After everything that happened, I just don't want to be in that situation again," I replied with regret in my voice. The memory of those days still haunts me. Aoki knows better than anyone what happened, he was there with me.
"Don't worry, Sora. I don't think you'll make the same mistake again. You've grown and learned a lot since then. You're not an aggressive person, you're a fantastic guy. Although I must admit, I'm a little disappointed that you don't want to try anything with Ayumi. But in the end, it's your decision, right? After all, you have Yuna," Aoki tried to reassure me.
"But what if I start to get interested in Ayumi?", I muttered as I pondered the situation. Although I've seen many such series, living it is completely different from what is shown or heard. Living it, I would say, is very different. I am overcome with doubt, as there are people who fall in love with people like Ayumi. Even though they say it over and over again, at some unexpected moment, it happens. I have to be extremely careful. Besides, she is in theory playing with me, she chose me according to her criteria that I am a "saintly" guy. I don't like that word, but maybe it's true, even if it's hard for me to admit it. However, the point is that the boys in those stories fall in love with girls like Ayumi. I'm not against stories or love in that sense, everyone is free to fall in love with whomever they want, but I'm also free to dislike those things. I don't have to force myself to like someone just because stories say so. But is my love for Yuna so poor that I'm hesitating like this? That's not the point. I just don't want the same thing to happen that happened that time. Even though I gave my all, broke my own boundaries and claimed that I would not bend in this kind of relationship, in the end it happened. It was something unexpected, something that no one could have foreseen. Aoki knows better than anyone, he was by my side at the time. But remembering that day, remembering what happened, fills me with melancholy. But that's it, I have to put an end to those thoughts. I have to be careful with Ayumi and get closer to Yuna. That's all I need to do right now. There's no reason to be afraid, Sora. You can do it. Let's give it a try. Besides, if I make money, I'll be able to get out of this horrible house and live my own life. Maybe a few years on my own, and then I'll see what I can do. But now, we must focus on this fictitious relationship.
"You're right, Aoki. My love for Yuna is stronger than my interest in Ayumi. I was thinking too much about it. Shall we have lunch together? I'm really hungry," I said, trying to dispel my worries.
"Let's go to that burger place they opened the other day. I hear they're really good," Aoki suggested.
"Perfect, let's go then. Aoki, you've really been by my side for a long time. I really appreciate you avoiding touching the subject of what happened. You're my only friend who I trust more than anyone else. You're a great friend," I told him sincerely, grateful for his support.
"After class, I'll see you, Sora. See you later," Aoki said goodbye as he walked away.
"See you later, Aoki. And thank you!", I replied, feeling a slight blush on my cheeks for expressing my gratitude. Although I like to be grateful to Aoki, as he has helped me a lot, I have to control myself from acting weird. After all, I don't want to look weird. Besides, I have to make an effort for Yuna. I have to do it for her. I have to give my all and more.
However, thinking about it, have I progressed in my relationship with Yuna during these two months of classes? If I look at it closely, I realize that we have barely had any meaningful interaction. We talk from time to time, I know Setsu is one of her best friends and that he is a nice guy. He told me he would help me with the things she likes, but there's also Sakura. We've only talked a few times, but they've become good friends. I can do it, I haven't felt this motivation in a long time. I know I can do it, but first I have to deal with these hellish classes, why did I have to be good at math? I don't do much, I just do what I'm asked to do and that's it. I don't get bad grades, but at least they don't bother me like they used to. It would be nice to talk to Yuna more, she's really cute.
Well, the classes have really worn me out. Is it that hard to be good at something? I don't think I'm that talented. I just do what they tell me to do for homework and I'm already considered smart. I guess that's how it works. Besides, my parents don't bother me about getting good grades anymore. With that, they stop bothering me. So, for my sake, before I meet with Aoki, I should go shopping for dinner ingredients. After all, I have to feed Aya, my little sister - she eats a lot more than me, despite being younger! But I guess that's normal, she's in the middle of growing up.
Since I'm at the store, should I make stew? Will Aya like it? She eats everything I prepare, though, so I guess it will be fine. Now, off to get some sweets. Gummies, maybe.
"Excuse me, could you pass me those candies next to you? Those gummies," I asked the girl standing next to the candy.
"Okay, here are these chocolates," she replied, passing me the candies.
Ayumi, what are you doing here, I thought, surprised by her presence.
"I was just passing by. Someone didn't come to say goodbye and I came to buy candy," Ayumi replied with a smile on her face.
At that moment, my mind went blank. I didn't know how or why, but I never expected to encounter this situation.
"But... what is Yuna doing here?"