Minami looked outside, making sure that no one could've seen him enter her apartment, especially not Makoto. She quickly shut the door and turned to face him.
"You could've called or texted! You can't just show up unannounced! What if you'd been seen?!" Her face was heating up with anger and she clenched her fists tightly. A lump appeared in her throat, not one for tears, but one for shouting. She wanted to scream at him so badly right now. He could've jeopardized everything, destroyed her career, ripped her dream from her. He knew how it important it was to her, how could he be so irresponsible?
"I tried, and you ignored me. I waited until he left, and I wore a disguise." He motioned to his hoodie, which he proceeded to pull down to reveal his blonde locks. He then waltzed up to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. "Come on, don't be mad okay?"
She tried to pull away, "I didn't ignore you, I just didn't have time or an opportunity to message you back. That's still not a reason to show up here uninvited or without warning. You could've really ruined things for me."
He kissed her cheek and along her jawline, "You're thinking pretty highly of yourself aren't you? No one knows who you are right now, we have complete freedom. There's no paparazzi or anything after you and no one is paying any attention to what you're doing. You're a nobody."
"Stop it!" Minami shoved him away and violently shook her head, "I won't jeopardize my dream for you. I won't take those risks. Even if no one is paying attention, I'd still rather play it safe. That's how this is going to be," she waved her finger in between the two of them, "so if that's going to be an issue….leave."
His widened and he clenched his fists. "Don't you get how I feel about you?" He gritted his teeth, "I've liked you all this time. I've wanted you all this time…..all this time…."
She glanced at his fists and took a step back, "Don't you know how /I/ feel? I've wanted my dream all this time. You've had…all these years to confess, all these years to ask me out, but why did you only wait until my dream was being realized to ask?"
A bead of sweat rolled down the side of her face as nerves began to set in. He wasn't acting his usual self, something seemed off.
"You were always too focused on debuting. You constantly mentioned how you didn't want a boyfriend because you didn't want to ever face a scandal," He held his hand up to his cheek, covering half of his face, and laughed, "Then all that shit with Juri happened….and then you were busy with practicing. Then…you seemed to have given up and got a job at SUN MEDIA. So I prepared to confess because you seemed happier. Then, you disappeared. Suddenly you weren't so available. Then I found out you were going to debut, and just like you had to grasp at the opportunity…. I had to do the same."
Her brain was flashing large, red, neon signs that said 'DANGER! DANGER!' but her heart overpowered that, skipping a beat at his words. 'He…was really so afraid to lose me huh? What a silly guy.'
"I'm sorry, I understand how you're feeling, but I need you to understand me too. You grabbed on because you didn't want to lose me right?" She averted his gaze, unsure if she should look him in the eye or not.
He nodded, "Right."
"Right. So can't you understand that I also don't want to lose debuting? Before we became a couple…you didn't want anything to jeopardize us right? That's why you asked me when you did, to make sure nothing happened right?"
He nodded again, "Right."
"Right. So, don't you see that it's the same? We weren't dating, so what did you have to lose? Me? How could you have lost me if you didn't have me? But, you didn't want to risk that so you were extra careful weren't you?"
He ran up to her and tightly wrapping his arms around her waist, nuzzling his head in her neck, "I see what you're trying to get at, but it's not the same," he tightened his embrace, "It's not the same…."
His warmth somehow managed to spread to her and throughout her body. Her face reddened and she felt the heat taking over, "L-look…it's not supposed to be the same..i-it's just s-similar."
He glanced up at her suspiciously, "Why are you stuttering all of a sudden? Am I making you nervous?" A smirk spread across his lips.
"D-don't change the subject! We're having a serious conversation here…" She looked off towards the side and pouted her lips.
"Hmm?" He chuckled and began to plant kisses on her neck.
"Hey!" She pulled her shoulder up, trying to push him away, "Th-this is clearly an issue! We need to resolve it!"
"We can't do both?" he switched to the other side of her neck, "I'm good at multitasking."
The redness in her face was intensifying and she pushed him away, "Stop! I mean it!" she closed her eyes shut tight, "I-I want to talk."
He pulled back and lifted her up. Her eyes widened and she tightly grabbed hold of him, fearing the sudden height. "Then talk," he smiled and carried her over to the couch, plopping her on one of the couch cushions.
"I-I-" What was up with him today? Suddenly, she found herself without words.
"What's wrong?" he smirked and gently grabbed her chin, lifting her head up, "Are you sure you don't want to multitask instead?"
"I-"
'Damnit! Why won't my mouth listen to me!' she shut her eyes tight again, trying to reset her brain and make the rest of her body pay attention to her.
"Oh? Is talking not what you wanted? Ahh…what will I do with you….confusing me like this…" He pressed his lips against her and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her into him.
She pushed him away again, "Stop! I said I want to talk! Leave if you're not going to listen to me!"
He pulled her onto his lap, "Hmm? But it seems like you can only talk if I'm helping you."
She sighed hopelessly, "It's because you're being weird today…"
"Am I being weird? How so?" He wrapped both arms around her and held her tightly.
"You came here without asking, now you're not listening to me and you're being so handsy and attacking me with your mouth…and you're making me embarrassed…." She averted her gaze again, feeling shy about what he'd been doing with her.
"Well, you had me worried. What if something had happened to you? You never answered me. Shouldn't a guy check up on his girlfriend if he's worried? Besides, I needed you," he started rubbing her back with his hand, "Don't you need me too?"
Just when the redness in her face had started to subside, and her mind was starting to become under her control again, he had to say that and make her heart grab hold all over again. The redness reappeared and she stared at him straight in the eyes.
"I DO! ...I do…." She looked down, shocked at her sudden outburst, "I do but, I'm so busy. I can't prioritize you. Maybe…we should just break up now…" Tears welled up in her eyes. "I really don't want to lose anything…"
He cupped her face with one hand, and pulled her even tighter to him, their bodies pressing tightly against one another now. "You don't have to lose anything. I'm sorry. I'll be more cautious. We can make this work. Don't cry." He gently rubbed under her eye, wiping away the tears before they could fall and gingerly kissed her on the cheek.
"I like you the best…..when you are like this…." She wiped a tear herself and sniffled.
He smiled and rubbed the top of her head. "Like this?"
"Mhmm…" she nodded, "Like that."
"How about this?" he pressed his lips against hers.
"Mhmm…." She nodded again and wrapped her arms around his neck.
He smiled, "I like you the best when you're like this too.."
"Huh? Like what?" She tilted her head.
He rubbed her cheek again, "Your cheeks all blushed up, being shy, but acting comfortable with me."
She relaxed a little, "I'm always comfortable with you, just… I'm nervous."
"What do you have to be nervous about? We've known each other for four years." He chuckled, staring deep into her eyes.
"I-I'm nervous about the things that will happen…" She bit her lip nervously.
"Things…that will…happen?"
She nodded, "Mhmm…"
A sly smile spread across his lips as he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers, kissing her as he was starving for her, unlike before.
"Mm! …Mmm…." She tensed up at first, and then allowed herself to melt into him.
He pulled away, the two of them huffing against one another, "You can trust me…"