Budding took my hand, leading me down toward the river edge. A warm sensation passed through me as we crossed the magical ward, but there was no other indicator that anything had changed. There was no flash of light, unlike when Budding had appeared. I couldn't tell if we'd become invisible.
The air, however, seemed less chilly. Perhaps the stars were brighter.
The water of the river flowed as if it were midsummer, rather than approaching winter. I was surprised that it was so high. "Where's Wake?" I asked, looking around.
Budding pointed to a spot in the center of the river that glowed with a gentle light. "She's sleeping. You can speak to her when she awakens."
I nodded, finding a smooth rock where I could settle down. To my surprise, Min sat right next to me, resting his hand on mine. Budding also kept close enough that our thighs were touching. She reached up and began unbraiding my hair.
"I don't like how this looks," she commented casually.
The chestnut locks had been thoroughly tamed, though. Even when they weren't braided (which, they usually were those days), they lay in calm waves on my shoulders. Strangely, I missed the wild mass that they had been in my childhood.
Budding ran her fingers through my hair once it was loose. I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation. It reminded me of when Mother used to comb my hair for me.
"How old are you now?" the tree tiernan inquired.
"I'll be fifteen in a couple of months," I responded sleepily.
"Is that old for a human?" Min chuckled.
I smiled, too. "No, but I won't be considered a child anymore."
"You're still not fully grown as a tiernan," Budding said, frowning, "and what that Smitta did to you will slow the process."
I sat up straighter. "Can you reverse it?"
She took a deep breath. "Not all of it. I can remove the danger, but it will take time for you to recover no matter what."
Min pointed to the bracelets on my wrists. "I made her cleansing points," he said proudly.
Budding nodded, "That will help."
She started gathering magic around us, creating a bubble of warmth. It was better than making a fire since it made no light or smoke. I set down my travel pack, pulling out some bread to eat.
"Take off your coat and roll up your sleeves," Budding instructed.
I was confused, but I did as I was told. I folded my outer layers carefully, setting them on a pile of dry leaves. I exposed as much of my arms as I could, offering them to my friend for inspection.
My tiernan eyes could see her weaving golden threads of magic over my skin. My flesh began to glow in the darkness as if my blood was luminescent. My veins were red with my human blood, but there were also trails of green from my tiernan biology. However, both were tainted with a putrid brown color swirling through. It looked as though fecal matter had been released into my circulation.
I grimaced at the sight.
Even though I knew that Smitta Farlin had been feeding me the green pellets for the past two years, I hadn't been prepared to see the extent of damage that had been caused. My chest constricted so abruptly that I couldn't breathe. Budding and Min both gasped.
Min's tirade in his native language renewed.
Budding caressed my cheek. "Don't panic, Tiff. You're safe now."
"I want it out," I insisted.
"I can help you," she reassured me.
She pointed at one of my fingers, gathering a tiny amount of the poison into a mass like a splinter. Then, with delicate accuracy, she used a gossamer thread of magic to pull it out. The process hurt like the sting of a wasp, with the pain lingering just as long.
I flinched at the finger, inspecting it closely. "I don't see any difference."
Budding's expression was solemn. "It will take a while…"
I whimpered, suddenly changing my mind. "What if we just leave it?"
"Well," she answered slowly, "your body will eventually heal on its own, but it will take years."
"You wouldn't be able to use magic in the meantime," Min interjected.
"Which means you would've made this trip for nothing, I'm afraid," added Budding.
I shifted in my seat. "Why? What did you call me here to do?"
My two friends exchanged glances. "We need the help of a wanderer," Budding admitted, "but you're as close as we can get."
I leaned forward, hugging my knees. "I don't understand. What do you need a wanderer for?"
"A tiernan is extremely vulnerable when they reproduce," she explained. "They have to put all of themselves into the process. If they stop before the new tiernan is fully formed, the seed will die and all the magic will be lost."
I chewed on my lower lip. "That sounds dangerous."
"It is," she acknowledged. "That's why it's become less common in recent years."
"Wake chose a bad time to have a baby," I said, scrunching my nose.
Min pointed a thumb at his chest. "That's what I said!"
Budding smiled faintly. "We need to go into hiding until the soldiers leave the mountain and the Followers of Purity lose interest in this endeavor. However, we can't do that as long as Wake is nurturing a seed."
I still didn't understand. "How does a wanderer help with that?"
"A wanderer can take over nurturing the seed while moving away from the original source," Budding said, lowering her voice fervently. "They can keep the seed alive until it is returned."
"Or until a new source is found," Min added. "There are tales of wanderers saving orphans."
I stared at them for a moment as their words sunk in.
"You want me to carry Wake's baby?" I blurted.
"You're the only one who can," Budding said quietly.
"It's not like how humans do it," Min hurried to explain. "It doesn't go inside your body."
The relief I felt was momentary. "I don't know if it would be any safer with me."
My teacher's expression was grim. "We would have to cleanse as much poison as possible first. It would take a lot of magic and much courage."
I looked Budding in the eyes, rubbing the finger that still stung from the removal of the poison. Those brown orbs were filled with so much warmth and love. I knew that she wouldn't blame me if I said no to their request. It wasn't the way that Smitta Farlin asked for things to be done, where there was an underlying expectation. Instead, she was apologizing, even as she was asking.
I knew that Wake wouldn't blame me, either. When she agreed to guide me to find medicinal herbs, this couldn't have been what she had in mind to repay her favor. I knew instinctively that they wouldn't ask this of me if they weren't desperate. They would've searched for every other option before putting me in any sort of risk.
I wanted to help, but I was worried. I would have to go back to the village—back to where Smitta Farlin had control over what happened to me. Would Wake's baby be safe with me? Would I be able to keep it hidden?
Also, what about the magic that was needed?
I looked down at my arms, still glowing with Budding's magic. I could see the poison swirling around in my blood. The pain in my stomach sharpened just thinking about it.
"How long would it take to cleanse me?" I asked with trepidation.
"Doing it all at once would kill you," Budding answered, shaking her head. "The pain would be too much. However, if I put you into a dream state, I could do it faster than if you were awake."
My eyes narrowed. "A dream state?"
"A magical sleep," Min explained. "You cannot wake up, no matter what happens to your body. But…it's dangerous for multiple reasons."
"Other than the fact that I wouldn't be able to wake up?" I asked sarcastically.
"Only the one who casts it can wake you up," Budding agreed, "so if something were to happen to me, you'd be stuck in the dream state."
"Lovely," I muttered.
"Also," Min continued, "your mind is still active within the spell, so the magic can have unexpected effects."
I frowned. "Such as…?"
The hoak quirked an eyebrow. "If I knew that, it wouldn't be unexpected."
I made an exasperated sound. "Very helpful," I griped.
He poked my shoulder teasingly, "Mud brain."
"Some have said they had visions," Budding offered helpfully. "Others gained powers they didn't have before. I heard a story of someone who had all of their memories replaced as if they had led a completely different life."
"One hoak became a different element," Min declared.
I gave him a sideways glance. "Are you making that up?"
He looked offended. "No!"
"I thought you said you didn't know any examples," I reminded him.
Min sniffed, folding his arms across his chest. "I just forgot about that one."
"Hmm," I responded skeptically.
Budding grinned at our interaction, but didn't wait for it to escalate. "The dream state is known to be dangerous. Some have even died while in it. It would make it so we could cleanse the poison faster, but you would still be in pain when you woke up. You would need some time to recover before you could use magic again."
"What's the benefit, then?" I laughed humorlessly.
"It would make everything happen faster," she admitted, "probably by at least a month."
My jaw dropped. "A month?"
"You would need recovery time between cleansing periods if we did it while you were awake," Budding explained. "The mental and emotional stress is a factor."
I rested my forehead against the palm of my hand, sighing deeply.
I couldn't spend a month in the mountains with Budding doing it the regular way. I didn't know if I could get away with spending more than a day from home without getting caught. I wanted to help them through this perilous time, but it was starting to seem impossible.
"I don't think I can do this, Budding," I groaned softly.
My two friends nodded. They didn't seem surprised by my reaction.
"Wake just wanted to speak to you in person," she told me. "That's the favor she's asking of you. By coming here, you are repaying your debt."
I pressed my lips together. "Really?"
"I can do some initial cleansing before you return to the village," Budding continued. "Mineral's bracelets will help with your body's natural process. Then I will try to visit you every full moon to do more until you are purified."
"Why every full moon?" I wondered.
"Tiernan magic is always stronger during the full moon," she reminded me.
It was one of the early lessons that I'd forgotten.
"Of course," I murmured, resting my chin on my knees.
We sat quietly, enjoying each other's company in silence. I was tired from the long journey, so I closed my eyes to rest.
I mused over the proposed plan. It seemed like the most sensible course of action, but somehow it didn't sit right with me. I would go back to the village after repaying my debt to Wake, probably without anyone noticing my absence. I'd get treatment for the poison in my body. I remained safe from the soldiers that attacked the mountain. There were no negative points for me at all.
Why was I so bothered by it?
I took several deep breaths before I identified what I was feeling. I didn't like that I was being selfish.
Everything in the plan was for my benefit. Everyone else would be making sacrifices to help me. I knew that they were willing to do it, but that didn't ease my mind.
What was I doing in return?
Was I willing to take so much from others without giving anything back?
Budding lifted her head, turning toward the river. "She's awake," she observed. "Would you like to speak to her?"
I nodded.
She dipped her fingers into the water, sending out a silent message to the water tiernan beneath the surface. It only took a brief moment for a change to occur. The glow in the center of the river shifted, gliding to the banks before taking form.
Wake looked different than I remembered. Or, rather, she took a different form than the one I remembered.
She was exactly like the illustration that I'd once seen of a mermaid. Her long hair was turquoise, flowing down her back with streams of water. Her skin had a pattern of scales, glowing blue iridescent in the darkness. Her eyes were black, speckled with stars and streams of moonlight. She was stunning and otherworldly.
"Tiff," she whispered.
Even her voice sounded different.
I knelt as close to the water as I could get. "Hello, Wake," I smiled. "You look wonderful."
Her teeth shone like pearls. "I am filled with magic while I grow my seed."
"I heard about that," I acknowledged.
"Would you like to see her?" she asked.
I raised my eyebrows. "Can I?"
Wake's smile widened. "Of course."
She reached down into the water, to the center of her glowing torso. When she raised her hand again, she was holding the tiernan seed. It was the size of a walnut shell, or perhaps slightly larger. It looked like an uncut aquamarine stone that glowed as brightly as a firefly.
I stared at it with my mouth open. "Oh…" I breathed.
She chuckled. "It isn't what you expected, is it?"
"No," I admitted. "I thought it would be a…well, a baby."
Wake cupped the seed in her hands, gazing at it lovingly. "She'll never be a baby like a human. When she's fully formed she'll look like any other tiernan."
The seed was mesmerizing to look at. The light within it had a subtle movement that was almost hypnotic.
"It's a girl?" I asked.
"Yes," Wake replied. "I wanted a daughter."
I sat up straighter. "You get to decide?"
"Yes," she replied. "Her father and I discussed it together before she was formed."
"Who is her father?" I ventured hesitantly.
The water tiernan shook her head. "That's not something I wish to discuss. It's enough to say that he knew his source was in danger and his time was short."
"Is he dead?" I gasped.
Wake didn't answer. She gently placed the seed back in the water, giving it a wavering smile. "He was my best friend," she commented. "I will protect our daughter with my life."
Budding reached over to touch Wake's cheek. "We'll stay here as long as we need to," she promised.
Wake's gaze turned back to me. "Did Budding tell you why I asked you to come?"
I nodded, feeling the weight of guilt like a stone in my gut.
She read my expression easily. "Don't worry, little one. It's a heavy burden to carry for one so young. I'm just glad to see you again. You've grown so well."
Min began muttering under his breath, but I couldn't understand the words.
Wake's smile faltered as she took a closer look at me. "He did what?"
I heaved a sigh. "Min, are you going to tell everyone?"
"Yes," he retorted. "Maybe we can all go down the mountain together and teach that Smitta a lesson."
Wake took my hand, bringing it down into the water. It was much warmer than I expected as if the sun had been shining on it all day. The pulse of her magic rippled through me, connecting the two of us.
More than that, it connected me to her seed.
The tiny tiernan was alive! Her mind was awake, sending out curious little thoughts as she absorbed as much magic as she could. She was like a whirlpool, taking in everything that came her way. I could almost picture her face in my thoughts—a cherubic child with a mischievous grin.
I loved her immediately.
I could've easily gotten distracted by the magic swirling around the seed, but Wake's voice brought me back to reality.
"This river could help cleanse you, too" Wake said, her eyes full of pity. "It's a focal point."
"I'll do the initial cleansing here," Budding agreed, "then you can head back in the morning."
"Wait," I said suddenly, tightening my grip on Wake's hand.
Three pairs of eyes fixed on me, but I could only focus on the flitting thoughts of Wake's seed. They danced to a merry tune that only she seemed to hear, oblivious to the dangers of the mountain that drew ever closer.
She was so sweet and innocent—so simple. I knew that the seed was immobile, but somehow she gave the impression that she was skipping around in circles. I could hear her humming, even though there was no sound.
The seed made me think that it was filled with motion, even though I knew that it wasn't. She was impossibly busy, even when holding still.
She was how I remembered being, long ago.
I thought about the soldiers marching around the mountain, killing anything they could find with a hint of magic. How long would Budding be able to keep them safe? It was only a matter of time until the wards stopped being effective.
Could I walk away? Would I be able to live with myself knowing that I'd turned my back on my friends?
I didn't think that I could return to the village knowing the state of things on the mountain. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night, wondering if this river was still hidden from human eyes.
"I'll do it," I blurted.
Wake immediately shook her head. "No, darling."
"I don't even know if I can," I rushed on, frightened by my own words, "but I want to try. I want to get rid of the poison using the dream state."
It was a terrible idea, and all of us knew it. I set my jaw, staring each of them down. I would argue with anything they said, no matter how unreasonable it made me sound. Nothing would see me through this but pure stubbornness.
Min flinched. "Are you sure?"
Of course, I wasn't!
I nodded anyway.
"Yes."