My lessons with Smitta Farlin didn't begin immediately. I was given a few days' reprieve due to his sudden summoning to the local lord's castle. During that time, I followed Mother around each day to help her with the work.
The villagers continued to treat me like some sort of disgusting insect. Most of them ignored me, but some of them felt the need to voice insults. Sadly, this was still an improvement to past behavior, so my mother continued to insist that things were getting better.
I was starting to hope that things would remain that way when a written message was delivered to our door.
Mother read it carefully. "It's from Smitta Farlin," she told me. "He wants you to go to the school to begin your lessons."
I made a face at the ceiling. "Do I have to?"
"Yes," she answered. "I will take you there myself."
I groaned. I hadn't been planning on sneaking away, but I was frustrated that it wasn't even an option anymore. "What could he possibly teach me that I can't learn at home?"
Mother raised an eyebrow. "A lot."
"Nothing useful," I muttered under my breath.
I put on the dull gray dress that Mother had prepared for me, scrunching my nose at the boring color. I sat still as she battled my wild hair into an orderly braid.
"We're ready," she finally announced.
I nodded as I finished tying my shoes. "Yes, Mother."
She lectured me the whole way to the village. She warned me about speaking out of turn and minding my manners and paying attention to the lessons. I nodded over and over, doing my best to keep the irritation from my face.
"Yes, Mother," I repeated yet again.
The school was just a tent that had been set up on an empty square of grass. Previously, the lessons had been held at the teacher's home, but there wasn't enough room now that it was required to attend. The teacher still gave his regular lessons, but Smitta Farlin was given the majority of the time.
The sides of the tent were rolled up to allow for the summer breeze. I was able to see the rows of students sitting on the ground with their backs straight. I tugged on Mother's sleeve, making one last attempt to garner pity.
"Mama," I began, but she cut me off.
"Not a word," she quipped. "You are going, and that's final."
I whined softly as she pushed me forward. Master Green (the teacher) was greeting all the students, but he pointedly looked away from me. I would've just walked past him, but the Smitta came forward to intercept me.
"Ah, Theophana," he said with an emotionless smile. "I am glad you are prompt. Please go sit at the front while I speak to your mother."
I paused to look back at them. They stood to the side, speaking in low voices. Mother's cheeks were flushed and her eyes were fixed on the ground. I frowned, trying to decide why she looked like that.
"Move along," Master Green prompted, his mouth twisted in distaste.
I walked to the back of the tent, which was the front of the classroom. A small wooden dais had been placed on the ground, and the students were seated before it. It wasn't just the children of the village who were present, but also the youth and a handful of adults. I was surprised by how many people were taking time out of their busy day to attend the lecture.
All of the eyes that spotted me widened in disbelief. Soon the tent filled with whispers and expressions of hostility.
I didn't think any of them wanted me sitting by them, so I found an empty spot to the side where no one would be near me. I folded my legs under me, tucking my skirt out of the way. The whispers continued, but I pretended not to hear.
Eventually, Smitta Farlin made his way to the front and stood on the dais. He raised his hands to his audience, bringing silence back to the tent.
"I'm certain you all noticed the arrival of Miss Theophana," he said in a calm tone. "I understand your discomfort, but I ask for your forbearance. She is not to be blamed for her unfortunate bloodline."
My jaw dropped. "What?" I blurted.
Farlin glanced at me. "Do not interrupt," he commanded.
I clenched my fists, forcing myself to swallow down the indignation that choked me.
"The forest demons are to blame," he continued. "This unfortunate village has been victim to the dark creatures for far too long. We cannot change past actions, but we can vow to redirect our futures. Let this poor child be a constant reminder to us that we must do better than our predecessors. We must be stronger and purer!"
Several voices sounded their agreement. The younger students appeared to be slightly confused, but every face was filled with determination.
I, on the other hand, was flabbergasted. "Are you saying that I'm a victim of my own birth?" I demanded.
Smitta Farlin's eyes glittered dangerously. "I told you to be silent." He turned back to the crowd, even though he continued to address me. "We can pity you because we know of the challenges you face, but you mustn't treat us with disrespect. Ignorance is not an excuse. You must learn your place."
"My place?" I repeated.
Mother's warnings about being polite fell by the wayside. Why did I have to be polite to people who were being rude to me?
"My place is wherever I'm standing," I said, raising my voice.
Farlin gave a small sigh and then walked over to me. He reached into the pouch on his belt, pulling out a small green pellet. "Open your mouth."
I was taken aback. "Why?"
"I will not ask you a second time," he said quietly.
I parted my lips and he placed the pellet on my tongue. "Hold it there," he told me.
The pellet dissolved slowly, releasing a potent bitterness in my mouth. It was, by far, the worst thing I'd ever tasted. I desperately wanted to spit it out, but the glare in the Smitta's eye stopped me.
"Unsuitable words leave an unpleasant trace on our spirits," he said, speaking to the whole room. "Respect and propriety will remove the bitterness. Remember that."
I wasn't likely to forget with that taste in my mouth.
"Now, we shall continue our previous lesson," Farlin went on as if nothing had happened.
I tried to listen to his lecture, but it was hard to concentrate with the pellet dissolving on my tongue. I quickly swallowed it and rubbed my tongue against the top of my mouth to help get rid of the taste.
What a stupid way to enforce discipline!
I proceeded to grumble in my thoughts while Smitta Farlin went on about the virtues of purity and how to cultivate them. For a moment I wondered if my mother would be indignant about someone else punishing me, but I banished the thought. She probably wouldn't care as long as I was behaving. I could almost hear her pointing out that the method had worked.
The awful taste lingered and my stomach felt queasy.
Farlin's lesson lasted for half of the morning. When he finally fell silent the youth and adults got up to exit, leaving the children alone to be taught by Master Green.
The Smitta made a motion with his hand to indicate that I should follow him. I reluctantly rose to my feet, walking with him out of the tent.
"You do not need to stay for the remainder of the lessons," he told me. "You have been educated enough in worldly knowledge."
I scowled at his back. As if he had any idea of how much education I'd received or would need.
Farlin led me to a quiet corner of the village where we wouldn't be disturbed. He turned to face me, clasping his hands behind his back. His pointed face appeared calm, but there was something unpleasant behind his eyes.
"There is something that I will discuss with you," he informed me. "You and your mother will soon be the recipients of a great honor."
"I doubt it," I muttered.
Smitta Farlin gave another small sigh and reached into the pouch on his belt. "Open your mouth."
I was immediately contrite. "I'm sorry, please don't make me eat another one!"
The dangerous glint returned to his eye. "Need I ask you again?"
I allowed him to place the pellet in my mouth, shuddering at the bitterness that followed.
"Monitor your words so I don't have to," he said, pointing to the pouch.
I nodded dejectedly.
Farlin squared his shoulders. "As I was saying, you and your mother have been honored by the Followers of Purity. You will be allowed to aid our cause and purge the stain of your sins."
"Doing what?" I asked carefully.
He waved a hand. "That will change from day to day, according to need. However, the material point is that you will need to have official titles for this work to begin."
I was bewildered. "Titles? Like…Smitta Evangeline and Smitta Theophana?"
Farlin barked a laugh. "Preposterous! Women cannot be Smittas, they do not have the proper authority."
Questions were starting to crowd in my mind, but I couldn't address them all. I settled for the one that would be easiest to answer.
"What titles, then?"
He raised an eyebrow as if the answer was obvious. "Your mother will become my wife and you will be my stepdaughter."
I choked on my saliva. "What!"
"I believe you heard me," he replied. "Arrangements will be made as soon as possible, so you need to be informed as well. I told your mother that I would explain the situation to you."
"Explain?" I gasped. "You haven't explained anything."
"I just did," he said with infuriating calm.
"All you did was tell me that you're going to marry my mother," I exclaimed. "Why would you want to marry her? How does this help your cause?"
Smitta Farlin looked up at the sky thoughtfully. "Your mother is young. It is reasonable that she should wish to marry. She is also hardworking and diligent. I believe that she will be a valuable assistant to my daily work."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You want to marry her because she's useful?"
"She is lovely as well," he admitted.
I began to sputter. "And she agreed to this?"
Farlin's gaze met mine. "Of course, she did," he said, sounding surprised by my question. "Why wouldn't she?"
My mouth worked silently for a moment before I could force my words out. "Because she doesn't love you!"
He shrugged. "Not yet, but that will come with time."
I could feel my insides boiling. Even the bitter taste of the pellet in my mouth couldn't stop the flood of emotion that was bursting to be free.
"Love isn't something that just happens because you want it to! She shouldn't marry someone first and hope to love them later."
The Smitta chuckled. "Theophana, you are very young, so I will forgive your naivety. Love is a very small part of marriage. The most successful relationships are those that don't rely on such a foolish emotion."
I was speechless.
It couldn't be true. How could it be possible? My mother wouldn't do this to us.
Surely, my mother could see the type of person Smitta Farlin was. It was bad enough that she was allowing him to be my teacher, but she would never put both of us so completely under his control.
Right?
Ever since Aunt Theophana died, it had always been just the two of us. No matter what challenges we faced, we did it together. We hadn't relied on anyone else to help us and Mother had protected me from everything that might be dangerous. She would never take me into a viper's den willingly.
My chest felt so full that the pressure was tangible. I wasn't even able to attach names to everything I was feeling at that moment. I grasped my skirt with both hands, telling myself to breathe slowly. Each breath pained me, like the pricks of brambles.
Smitta Farlin took my silence for acceptance. "As I said, the marriage will take place soon. There are no tasks for you to complete beforehand. Just assist your mother accordingly and be a dutiful daughter."
He walked away while I was still struggling to breathe. I didn't try to stop him—I didn't want to stop him—I didn't want to see his judgmental eyes and pursed lips anymore.
Where was my mother?
I turned and bolted through the town. I ran without any regard for direction, still trying to recall where my mother would be at that time of day. I didn't pay attention to the strange looks I received or the occasional shouts about my reckless movements. I didn't stop until two arms reached out and grabbed me.
"Tiff!"
I looked up at Tsuki's familiar face. His wooden mask was slightly askew, knocked aside by the force of my body. His black eyes scrunched in concern. "Tiff, what's wrong?"
I suddenly found myself crying, unable to stop. "Where's my mother?" I asked in a sob. "Where is she?"
Tsuki looked around wildly. "I think she's at the laundry square. Why? What happened?"
I pushed away from him, ignoring the shouts that followed me. I sprinted to the center of the village, spotting Mother almost immediately.
"Mother!"
She looked up, alarmed. "Tiff, are you hurt?"
I rushed into her arms, crying harder than ever. She held me tightly, stroking my back. I tried to form coherent words, but every sound was overwhelmed by the fear and disbelief that flowed from my heart.
"What's wrong?" she urged. "Did you fall?"
It took several minutes for me to calm down enough to speak, and even then it was through ragged gasps. "Smitta Farlin…said…that you…agreed to marry…him!"
"Oh, is that all?"
My chin shot up so I could stare at her face. "It's not true, is it?"
Mother smiled happily. "Of course, it's true! Why are you so upset?"
My disbelief left me searching for words. "But…why?"
She laughed as if I was joking. "What do you mean? There's no reason for me to refuse."
My eyebrows climbed higher. "There are so many reasons to refuse."
"Oh, Tiff, don't be silly," she told me. "Don't you understand what this will mean for us?"
"I'm pretty sure I do," I retorted.
Mother went on anyway. "We will officially become part of the village again. Smitta Farlin is one of the most respected members of the community, and he's willing to take us into his family. Even your grandfather can't ignore how honorable that is!"
"He wants to use us," I argued. "He said himself that he doesn't even love you."
Inexplicably, she smiled again. "Perhaps he doesn't yet, but he will with time."
I wanted to tear my hair out. "What are you saying?" I demanded. "Can you hear yourself?"
Mother's brow furrowed. "Mind your tone, T'phani. You may not like Farlin right now, but I believe you two will grow closer as you get to know each other better."
Tears began spilling down my cheeks again. I couldn't tell if I was more angry or hurt. "We don't need him, Mother. We can live our lives just fine without him or anyone else in the village. Why can't we just go back to the forest?"
"We don't belong in the forest," she insisted. "We belong with other people."
I made a sweeping gesture. "Then we can go to the big mountain and live with the people there."
"Other humans," Mother clarified.
"Why?" I yelled. "Why does it have to be humans?"
"Because we're human," she declared, "and we should be with our kind."
I was sick of arguing that point, so I chose another direction. "Fine, then we can leave! We can go to a different village where they won't treat us like outcasts."
Mother closed her eyes as if I was testing her patience. "Our family is here, darling. We belong here."
"They threw you out," I shouted.
She matched my tone. "And now they will bring us back!"
I could do nothing but stare at her. She refused to listen even though this decision impacted me just as much as her. Why wouldn't she listen? Why?
"We are not discussing this anymore," Mother said with finality. "If you say another word about it, you will be punished."
I wiped the tears from my cheeks, but they were quickly replaced.
"This is for our future," she murmured. "I know you are frightened of change, but you will see that this is for the best. Our lives will be so much better from now on."
I could see that she believed that. Her eyes glowed with hope. I just wished that I could show her everything crowding in my heart—all the things that I didn't know how to put into words.
I wanted to feel that same hope. I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe that Smitta Farlin was just rough around the edges but had good intentions. I tried to convince myself of that in the coming days. I repeated to myself that my mother wouldn't do anything to hurt me and that she had a viewpoint that I wasn't able to see at that time.
Unfortunately, it didn't matter how much I told myself those things. I couldn't shake the feeling that things wouldn't turn out well.