"What were you thinking?" Mother asked in a furious whisper.
She didn't give me a chance to answer.
"Every time I think that you're finally learning how to make good decisions, you prove me wrong," she raged.
"But, Mama," I began.
She reached over and slapped my arm with every syllable. "Don't you try that now," she hissed. "It's one thing to misbehave at home, but you put yourself in danger here!"
"I wasn't in danger," I tried to console her. "They were friendly tiernan."
Mother's blue eyes flashed anew. "And what if they hadn't been? What would you have done if they attacked you?"
Mercifully, Wake decided to step in.
"It does no good to ask 'what if,'" she said. "Tiff is back safe, and that's what matters."
I offered the handful of alpine clusters I'd been holding. "I got the medicine for Aunt Ellie," I murmured.
Mother looked as if she was about to start scolding me again, but she stopped herself with much effort. She carefully wrapped the herbs in a cloth and tucked them in her pouch. Then she pinched my sleeve in a firm grip, marching me back the way we'd come.
I followed without complaint, even though I thought she was taking us through more underbrush than necessary. I occasionally threw a glance at Wake, but she didn't seem inclined to speak at the moment.
Mother's anger didn't seem to be fading as we walked. I was starting to worry that I'd get another lecture as soon as we stopped for the night. We appeared to be heading back to the fold where we had stayed before, so I started searching my mind for ideas on how to distract her.
I knew that I'd made a bad decision. That realization had come to me early on. To be honest, I wasn't a stranger to making bad decisions, but this was the first time that there had been so much at stake. It was fine to say that everything had worked out, but Mother wasn't wrong to point out that the danger had been real.
My heart told me that I should apologize. However, my mind told me that an apology would only lead to more scolding.
Maybe it would be best to make amends when we reached the fold. My instinct told me that I'd be getting an earful anyway. It would be more efficient to roll it all up into one.
We reached our destination in good time. Mother was looking more winded than furious, which was good news for me. Even though we had some sunlight left in the day, we all agreed to stop at the fold.
"I'll go look for some food," I hurriedly volunteered.
We had enough rations with us to feed us until we returned to the valley, but I had been taught to always forage first.
I found several patches of mushrooms, which could be used for a delicious soup. I discovered a few wild onions to lend flavor and a handful of nuts that hadn't been claimed by the local wildlife.
I returned victorious, gifting my spoils to Mother with a flourish. The corners of her mouth turned upward at my antics. I immediately took the opportunity to toss myself to the ground and lay my head on her lap.
"I'm sorry, Mother," I said sincerely. "I really made you worry, didn't I?"
She took a deep breath, pausing for a moment before speaking. "I know that you won't always agree with my decisions, T'phani, but I still need you to abide by them. Above all things, I want to keep you safe."
I nodded. "Yes, Mother."
She tweaked my ear. "There's never going to be a situation where you have no choice but to rush into danger," she admonished. "You must learn to think things through before taking action."
My mother had said that before, but there was gravity to her voice that made it strike true. I sat up and took her hand. "I'm sorry," I said again.
She nodded, then turned her attention to making soup for our supper. She made a deep pit for the small cooking fire, doing her best to minimize the smoke. Wake refilled the waterskins, and Mother softened some of the bread we had by placing it over the pot to steam.
"I haven't seen that hoak that was following us," Wake commented as she settled down by the mouth of the fold.
"Oh," I said absently, "he's with the tiernan who helped me."
Two pairs of eyes fixed on me, weighing me down with their unspoken questions.
I cleared my throat. "I…uh…I didn't have a chance to tell you about how I got the alpine clusters."
"Please, do," Wake urged.
I recounted the experience, leaving nothing out. I could visualize the events as they happened, so I knew that Wake could see them, too. My mother had to ask a few clarifying questions since she wasn't able to communicate in the same way.
"I thought you said that hoak can't insult their masters," Mother asked Wake.
The water tiernan nodded. "They can't."
"But, that hoak called the tiernan names when we asked if he knew them," Mother pointed out.
I pursed my lips together. "Maybe he was calling the other tiernan names, but not Budding."
She frowned. "That seems like questionable justification."
I gave her a cheeky grin. "That's the best kind of justification."
Mother swatted at me but without any real feeling. "So, she just gave you the alpine clusters and sent you on your way?"
My heart gave a jolt of excitement as I suddenly remembered my news. "Yes, but guess what! Budding said that she'd find me next spring and teach me how to be a tiernan!"
Wake clapped her hands together. "That's wonderful, Tiff!"
I grinned at her, relieved that she thought it was a good idea. My smile slipped when I looked at Mother, though.
I knew that she felt uncomfortable when my tiernan heritage was pointed out. After all, it was usually only mentioned when an act of hostility was about to follow. However, this was a safe environment where my identity was a positive thing. Why did she seem so alarmed?
"What's wrong?" I asked her.
She cleared her throat, bringing her expression back to neutral. Her voice, on the other hand, remained tense. "Did you tell the tiernan where we live?"
I nodded. "Of course. How else could she find us?"
Mother spooned the soup into a bowl, giving it to me with a stiff motion. "You shouldn't tell strangers where we live, Theophana. It's not safe."
"She won't hurt us," I pointed out. "What's the harm?"
"You don't know anything about her," Mother insisted. "You don't know what she wants or why she offered to teach you. The whole situation is suspicious."
Wake's eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "Why do you find it suspicious? You must remember that tiernan are not humans."
Mother took a deep breath, pressing her lips together. "Are you saying that tiernan never lie? That they never have ill intentions?"
"No," Wake conceded, "but Budding has pledged herself as Tiff's sister. That's a vow that is not lightly given."
She shook her head, dishing herself a bowl of soup. She tore the bread in half, giving me the larger portion.
Wake folded her arms across her chest. "What's really concerning you, Evangeline?"
Mother often kept her worries to herself, so I was startled when she answered the question. "We have spent all of Tiff's life trying to escape from the hatred and prejudice of the people in the village. Even with all our efforts, we are still the target of their hostility. We need ways to prove her human blood, not her tiernan blood."
Wake nodded slowly. "So, you're worried that the prejudice against Tiff will increase if she develops her tiernan abilities."
Mother sighed quietly but didn't answer.
I could see that she was sad, but I found myself getting angry. "They already hate me, so why does it make a difference?" I tried to keep my voice under control, but it trembled. "I've always lived as a human. I never even knew my father, so how could I be anything like him? They hate us no matter how hard we try, so why do we have to keep doing what they want?"
Mother's eyes widened as she looked at me. "T'phani," she reprimanded, "we shouldn't stop doing what is right just because others dislike us."
Wake leaned forward, narrowing her eyes. "Are you saying that the right thing for Tiff is to be human?"
She pressed her lips together. "That's not what I mean. But my daughter is going to be spending her life among humans, so she needs to learn how to be accepted."
I picked up a stick and threw it into the fire. "I don't want to live with humans. I hate them."
"Don't say such nonsense," my mother snapped. "Of course, you have to live with humans. What do you think I am, if not human?"
"Well, you're different," I sulked.
"I'm not," she quipped. "I'm the same as every other human. So, if you want to stay with me, you'll have to learn to fit in."
I could hardly believe what I was hearing. Fit in? How was that possible? I'd never been allowed to befriend the village children. I'd never been allowed to attend the local school. It was impossible for me to find a place in the village when I wasn't even permitted to safely enter it.
Despite my best efforts, tears began to well up and my throat constricted. "I don't fit in, and I never will," I sobbed. "Look at me! I don't look human, so they'll never like me. You're the only one who will ever love me, and it's because you have to!"
Mother looked as though I'd slapped her. Her mouth moved silently for a few moments, but I didn't give her the chance to find her words. I hurled myself through the opening of the fold, retreating into the darkness to cry by myself.
My anger soon drained out of me, leaving me with the weight of guilt for my harsh words. That made me sob even harder.
I knew that my mother loved me. I knew how much she'd sacrificed to raise me. I'd seen her protect me time and time again, often putting herself in danger to do so. Perhaps that was part of what was so upsetting. Why would she want to live among the people who had hurt us?
What was so important about living among humans—especially those humans? We already knew that we could survive on our own. We'd also learned that tiernan were more friendly to half-bloods than the villagers were. Budding had called herself my sister after meeting me, which is something that I'd never experienced before. Wasn't it so much better to be among tiernan?
I heard the scrape of someone crawling through the fold opening. I turned my back to the entrance, curling up into a ball in the far corner.
"Tiff?"
It was Wake. Perhaps Mother thought I needed more time to finish my outburst before attempting to reason with me.
The water tiernan sat next to me, running her fingers through my hair. I thought she'd give me some sort of lecture about being respectful to my mother, but she didn't say anything. She just stayed with me, offering the comfort of her presence.
Eventually, my tears ran dry. I scooted across the stone floor to lay my head on Wake's thigh. She placed one hand on my shoulder and used the other to continue to caress my hair.
"I wish I hadn't been born," I whispered, a new well of tears threatening my eyes.
I couldn't see Wake's expression, but I could feel her stiffen. "Why?" she asked, sounding surprised.
I reached up to wipe my nose on my sleeve. "If I hadn't been born, Mother would've had a happy life."
"How do you know?" she countered. "What if you are the greatest joy of her life? If you hadn't been born, she never would've experienced it."
"How can she be happy when so many bad things happen to us?" I demanded.
"Bad things happen to everyone," Wake pointed out. "Does that mean that no one is ever happy?"
"Well, no…"
"Your mother's love for you is greater than any of the challenges she faces," Wake assured me. "That is one of the most beautiful things about humans—their capacity for love."
"Don't tiernan love, too?" I asked.
She chuckled. "Of course. However, we don't seem to feel as deeply in our relationships. We are more attached to the earth than to one another."
In the past, I'd wondered if my father missed my mother, but Wake's statement appeared to answer that question.
"Oh."
She patted my arm. "The important point is that I don't believe that your mother regrets your birth or any trials that followed. She is trying to do her best to keep you safe, so you should be understanding."
I sat up. "You said it'd be safer for me to learn how to use my tiernan abilities."
Wake inclined her head. "And I stand by that."
"Then wouldn't it be best for me to learn from Budding?" I demanded. "Wouldn't that be best?"
She smiled. "Give your mother time to adjust to the idea. She may be a good person, but she's still a human. She has her own prejudices to overcome."
I frowned. How could my mother be prejudiced against tiernan when she'd had a child with one?
"Budding said she'd come," I muttered. "I'm going to learn from her no matter what."
Wake nodded her approval. "I hope that it all works out for the best."
I looked up at her eyes, seeing the glint of the river in them. "Will you come and visit us, too?"
She patted my arm again. "No, Tiff, it's too far from my river."
"But there are other rivers," I protested.
"I know," she acknowledged, "but I wish to stay by mine."
I heaved a sigh. "When will you go back?"
"I'll leave in the morning," Wake answered. "There's a more direct path down the mountain for you than going back to my river, so it would be best to part ways."
We'd only been together for a couple of days, but the thought of separating weighed down on my chest. Wake had guided us and kept us safe, even though doing so had put her in danger. She'd been kinder to us than any of the people I'd ever known—except for Master Heele, perhaps.
"Will I see you again?" I asked, sounding forlorn.
"Certainly," she said. "You owe me a favor, remember?"
We laughed together, but I knew that she meant it, too. Someday she would call on me for help, and I would be glad to do whatever she asked. Even though we were different types of tiernan, I felt a kinship to her. She may not have promised to be my sister, but I knew that we would always be friends.