The carriage stops abruptly in its tracks after an hour or so of travel. I hear jangling, followed by Malcolm's knock on the carriage door and my father's signal for him to enter.
"We've arrived at the Capital, Duke."
"What's the holdup?"
"Security measures. The usual interior check and all." He looks briefly at me before adjusting his glasses and continuing, "It looks like we will be unable to proceed until we've been cleared. My apologies."
My father grunts, obviously annoyed, but I don't pay attention to that; I've got bigger problems to worry about now.
Though it was many years ago, I still remember my first day in the Capital with immense clarity - security checks were not part of it. Something's definitely wrong.
This is bad.
While it's true that I had swapped out the contents of some of my stories to hide the spell books, if the guards were to check all of my belongings...
They'd be sure to discover the truth!
What the hell am I supposed to do now?!
I begin to bite my fingernails as my brain desperately searches for an answer. Malcolm exits the carriage and slams the door shut behind him.
Think, think, think!!
Before leaving the countryside I only had time to flick through a couple pages! The only thing I ever learnt to do with my magic as a child was burn things! Like with Firina's face, and her wrist...!
I briefly think back to that day. The day everything changed. If I had done something differently, would I be here, in the past, right now?
I shake my head. Now's not the time to think about that. I can't burn grandfather's spell books! I need them!
Think, think think...
My mind flashes back to the day after my return to the past. Mother had finished my markings the night before; my back was aching and I could barely move...
I spent the time looking through those books! Of course! The spell books!
"F-Father!" I call to him. He looks up from the scroll in his hand - he's been flicking through a couple of these since we left for the Capital.
"What, child?"
"Would you allow me to just, u-um...get some of my books from the trunk...?" I trail off, muttering, "I-I'm quite bored..?"
He scowls and I flinch,
"You ought to be grateful to me, your father, taking you in and saving you from the clutches of that fucking orphanage! And you have the audacity to tell me you are bored?!"
I say nothing, fiddling with my hands.
Enough with this fear, I think to myself, I need to access those pages, otherwise I'm completely screwed!
I take a deep breath, then clear my throat to protest, "I didn't intend on hurting your feelings father. I-I simply...wish to read a few books."
Hopefully, I glance up to meet his gaze. As always it is cold and uninterested - nothing more and nothing less.
But, to my surprise, he responds rather quickly,
"Make it quick, girl. Don't go loitering around. Am I understood?"
"Of course."
With that, I scramble to open the carriage door and hurry outside into the breezy air. I look to the right of me, and briefly inspect the long line of other aristocratic carriages, decorated with golds, silvers and deep colours. Further down the cobbled path are none other than the colossal gates to the Capital, decorated with encrusted crystals, and surrounded by countless knights, all donning the same Icar'a-Rai crest on their shoulders. A couple of them are positioned every two metres or so apart, silver swords sheathed and shimmering in the afternoon light.
Other people of high status have already exited their carriages to inspect the issue. I catch glimpses of many large, poofy gowns of velvet, silk and more - I almost begin to miss the dresses I once wore during my time at the palace.
Almost.
Quickly, I approach the rear of the carriage and climb onto the box settled in the trunk. I immediately open the chest and rummage through it until I retrieve three books, all containing the pages of my family's hexes and enchantments.
"Now what one was it..."
I pick up the first book and begin to flick through it.
I specifically remember taking a brief look through a concealment spell the day after I had time travelled. The spell would make the items invisible to everyone but the caster, in other words, me. Naturally it would be helpful - if I were to find it now and hopefully cast it correctly...
The books would be safe!
"Not here..." I murmur, dropping the first book back in the box. Picking up the book to my left, I search through it, skimming the words on the pages before turning to the next.
It has to be here somewhere!
A sudden shriek grabs my attention.
I straighten my back as my breath hitches. Clambering over the side of the trunk, I slowly peek round the corner of the carriage.
"N-No! I promise I've nothing to hide!"
A lady who is struggling against the grip of two guards screams relentlessly as they drag her off the cobbled path. Her ruffled dress shines a coral blue colour in the light of the sun, and her greying hair is styled into an intricate updo, topped off with a matching, white banded hat tilted forward upon her forehead.
"Lady Harla! The Cardinal's wife!" I whisper.
There's no doubt about it - that is Firina's mother! Her bright purple lipstick is a more obvious giveaway then ever!
"Something is wrong..." I tell myself as I leap back into the trunk and pick up the final book, scanning through pages at lightening speed. I didn't first see Firina or her family until my coming of age ball! I was sixteen, not eleven! And I know for a fact Lady Harla wasn't being detained when I first saw her!
So why is the past suddenly changing?! This isn't how it happened last time!
"Yes!" I clap my hands joyously at the sight of the concealment spell, written in straggly handwriting.
"Oh, gosh..." I murmur as I read through the page. Like I said before, as a child in my previous life I wanted little to do with Vivanti as a whole - I never learnt any spells or curses of this caliber...
There was no way I'd be able to learn it in time!
I lean forward to look again towards the gates. I spot the carriage in front of us - Lady Harla's carriage - being thoroughly searched through. The said woman is crying out in protest as the guards carelessly empty chests and boxes full of jewellery, ballgowns and books.
I had to hurry; unless I got this spell over and done with, they'd be searching our carriage next.
"P-Please, almighty Gods above..." I murmur as I clasp my hands together, reaching forward within myself and searching for the familiar incandescence.
"Please work...!"
My hands begin to emit an aquamarine glow, and I let out a soft sigh of relief. Now it was time to cast the spell.
I read over the page again and I let out a groan of helplessness.
The spell was written in Vivanti.
I couldn't speak Vivanti!
"Crap!" I hiss, looking briefly round the carriage again. The guards seem satisfied with their search through Lady Harla's belongings; I watch in fear as they begin to conclude their inspection.
"N-No, no! No!!"
I could read Vivanti language to a certain extent, but speaking it was out of the question! If I were to make just one mistake...
I didn't want think of what would happen.
"Mother...what do I do..." I whisper as I desperately read the page again.
There's no time to think - I have to at least try, here and now.
I take a deep breath and begin to whisper the chants written in the book (to the best of my ability, of course). I speak with haste and stumble over a few words, but that isn't important right now; I have to complete the hex before it's too late.
I take another minute and finally exhale, unclasping my hands. I watch hopefully as the books begin to bathe in a blue glow...
Before they disappear, leaving a cloud of shimmering dust.
Right in front of my eyes.
"Shit!" I curse, "What the hell have you done, Audenzia?!"
I rake my fingernails down my cheeks in utter disbelief. Of course I'd gotten the damn spell wrong!!
I hear gruff, deep voices and the clanging of metal suddenly grow closer. I'm too late!
With no choice, I rush out of the trunk and clamber back into the carriage, huffing and puffing once I finally make it inside.
"What is the meaning of this?! I told you not to go loitering around!"
"M-My deepest apologies, father..." I pant as I collapse back into my seat, hunched over and staring at my limp hands in my lap.
Of course I couldn't do it. My power always fails me when I need it the most. Just like that day...
My vision blurs as tears fill my eyelids and tumble down my cheeks, landing into my palms like tiny rain droplets.
I failed. Again.
My father steps out of the carriage to greet the guard standing by Malcolm outside. The carriage only has a window on the left-hand side, so I am unable to watch the soldier inspect my belongings.
Perhaps I did do the spell correctly? No, that's impossible - I should've been able to see the items myself, so I definitely did it wrong. But what happened to the books?
I burry my face in my hands and sob quietly.
Did I destroy them?!
Great - I just obliterated the very books that have run in my family for centuries. This is all my fault - I should've known better.
All I wanted was to protect myself.
Malcolm helps my father climb back into the carriage. I hear the advisor and guard converse briefly before he pops his head back in.
"All set to go, my Lord."
"Make it quick, Malcolm." the Duke snaps in response. Before I know it, we've passed through the tall gates and finally entered the initial town square. I lean my head on the window, watching the crowds of townsfolk aimlessly as we continue our journey eastwards. We pass a thickly wooded area and climb steadily uphill before we finally begin towards the house of Voitria.
My new home.
___________
"Welcome back, my Lord."
Duchess Voitria promenades towards my father, looking as glamorous as always with her bold makeup and rounded, blue orb earrings. As much as I despise the woman, I'm almost happy to feel a sense of familiarity at the Duke's domain.
The woman wastes no time in planting a kiss against his right cheek, hugging his arm and pressing her bosom against him in the process. My father looks almost annoyed at her typical antics, muttering a quiet, "Yes, yes", before brushing her away and stepping forward. He clicks his fingers and Malcolm instantly appears by his side.
"Malcolm, fetch the girl's items and take them to her room. Make haste."
"Right away."
With an exasperated sigh, he begins, "Penelope, my love. This is Audenzia La Whistria. The girl."
I momentarily remember the first time I saw my father's wife. The situation was identical to that of now, however upon meeting her I had addressed Penelope by her first name. It didn't go well to say the least, and I surely have learnt from past mistakes.
I curtsy, "G-Good evening, my Lady."
I watch a smirk edge its way onto Lady Voitria's face. I give a mental sigh of relief.
"Well, well..." Duchess Voitria swiftly reaches into her pocket to retrieve a pink, lacy fan. She flutters it over her mouth and nose, obviously attempting to hide her amusement.
"Why, child... your hair I must say is quite the sight to behold."
"S-So I've been told."
She ceases the use of her fan and crosses her arms under her chest, "Rather smart-mouthed, aren't you?"
With that, she turns and makes her way towards the entrance of the manner. I watch her do so.
"Pick up your feet, child." the Duke strides ahead of me and follows his wife. I do the same, glancing up at the lofty mansion that once used to be my home. It looks the exact same as it did in my past life, with glittering, white walls and the large Icar'a-Rai Empire banner draped over the front of the building.
I'm suddenly overcome by a wave of emotion. The dukedom of my adolescence only gave me horrendous memories I'd rather keep as just that - memories.
But starting from today, I would have to relive it all. Every day, every hour, every minute.
This nightmare would become my home again.