As I quietly follow my father through the large halls of Voitria manner, memories flood my brain. They wash over my mind like saltwater to an open wound, and wherever I look, all I see are glimpses of my past life. My recollections are detailed and vivid - almost as if they happened yesterday. I glance over the crystallized staircase where Criala had "tripped" and sent me tumbling down the steps. I watch the sleek, ebony piano situated in the corner of the foyer, where the Duchess had promptly slammed my fingers in it during my first (and last) music lesson. I turn back to glare at the entrance of the blasted domain, where my father had slapped me, hard, right in front of Prince Siar himself.
God, this place was dreadful.
And doubtless, this time would be no different.
"Your room is in the attic. Now pick up your feet and hurry along."
Duchess Voitria waves her gloved hand dismissively in my direction, and I don't attempt to argue. This time round, I know this mansion like the back of my hand. Getting there would be no trouble.
I climb the staircase slowly and look around the interior of my home. As much as I hate the place, it's almost soothing to be here as a child, free without the restraint of the palace, and that horrendous marriage life...
I silently remind myself of my goal. During this life I must do everything in my power to avoid contact with Prince Siar and the Emperor. Marrying into the royal family sealed my fate. I cannot let it happen again.
In fact, I plan to get as far away from Siar as possible.
I finally reach the attic, a rather...modest place in comparison to the rest of the mansion, and of course, Criala's bed chambers. As I enter my room I find Malcolm, who has just settled down the final box of my belongings on the floor.
"A-Ah, Audrey, was it?" He slides his glasses up his sharp, long nose. I shake my head,
"Audenzia, sir."
"I stand corrected."
He gives a curt grunt before exiting the room. Once he is out of earshot I sigh and shut the door, approaching my narrow mattress, covered by a thick, white, woolly duvet and large, plain pillows. Not anything fancy, but better than my bed in the countryside.
My room is pretty much the same as it was in my past life: the area is rather spacious, with a tall ceiling and a high, loft window facing House Voitria's vast, public garden. The walls are a soft, canary yellow, and a shimmering, full body length mirror is hung next to a white and silver dressing table. Unlike Criala, my walk-in wardrobe stretches only around three by six metres, with scarce room for apparel. A couple expensive looking, however not particularly extravagant dresses are already squashed together on a metal railing. Three or four shoeboxes have been piled into the small corner, and a shelf of hair accessories sit above the couple gowns already in the wardrobe.
I know at this point I should begin to pack my stuff away and attempt to settle in, but I can't. I'm absolutely restless, and rightfully so. Since the disappearance of my spell books, it's taken everything not to burst into tears. As I lay on my bed, lost in thought, I feel completely hopeless.
There's nothing I can do. The books are gone, destroyed, presumably, and all because of me.
I run a shaky hand through my hair. There is little I can defend myself with now in the event of an emergency.
No magic, no strength...
No nothing. I really am powerless.
I sit thinking for what seems like years. When I finally decide to rise from my bed, I remove my dress, and step into my wardrobe, grabbing a nightgown that was folded neatly on the same shelf as the hair decor.
I step away and glimpse at my exposed back in the mirror. Despite the now darkened room and I can make out the gold markings painted right from the nape of my neck to my hips. It's funny - if I stare at them for long enough it's almost as if I am looking at my mother, albeit tinier and shorter haired.
A sudden, dull yet audible thump from outside catches my attention. I swiftly slide on my grey nightdress and approach the long window.
It takes some effort to surreptitiously slide it open and peer down at the garden below. I catch sight of a young boy, perhaps around my own age, dusting himself off before reaching down into the grass surrounding him.
My curiosity heightens. What could a young child be doing out here at night? Let alone unaccompanied!
While the Voitria Gardens are officially "public", only those of high status and neighbouring nobles have access to the area. With that being said, the boy must belong to a wealthy family of some kind, right?
I narrow my eyes and watch him retrieve his belongings from the ground. Cautiously, I hoist myself up onto the window sill and sit upon it, observing his suspicious demeanor. That's when my eyes lock on the items he has collected from the long grass.
I pause. I gasp.
Hugged tightly to his chest are none other than MY spell books! Impossible!!
It can't be! This is absurd!! Where did he even get those from?!
"What?!" I yell to myself. My breath quickens and I lean forward, head now completely out of the window, watching him holding up each book slowly to inspect them in the moonlight.
I lean further. I should say something. I MUST say something.
I need those books!!
But before I can call out to him, I lose my balance. Within a split second, I find myself tumbling in mid air, falling rapidly towards to ground.
My shriek slices through the night as I flail helplessly in the air, a fierce rush of wind forcing itself through my hair, into my eyes and around my nightgown. I continue falling and falling and falling...
Until a large body of bushes finally break my drop.
I keep my eyes shut for a couple more seconds, before opening them again. For a few moments I am still, wondering whether I am dead or alive.
Then, I begin to writhe with immense pain, futilely attempting to untangle myself from the persistent vines and twigs holding me in place. It's a miracle I'm unscathed after such a high fall!
"Oh Gods!"
The youthful face of the boy in the garden suddenly obstructs my view of the full moon above. His round, deep green eyes peer down at me with wonder, and his light blonde hair tickles my forehead as he leans closer to my face, anxiously waiting for my response.
He's so familiar that I recognise him in an instant, dread settling into my stomach and buzzing in my mind.
Prince Siar!!
"Oh Gods!!" I repeat his words, louder with panic seeping into my voice.
No, no, no! This cannot be happening! I'm not to first meet Siar until Criala's coming of age ceremony!
"Miss, are you okay? Do you feel faint? Are you injured?!"
I reluctantly let him drag me out of the bushes. We land in a heap on the grass, and I immediately scramble away from him.
"N-No... you're not supposed to be here..." I murmur. He looks confused, approaching me as I back away.
"Allow me to explain! I'm staying in the eastern palace!" he points in the general direction of one of the Emperor's private castles, situated by the Stromdurne river a few miles away from here. He continues,
"I-I've always adored this garden! A-And I just so happened to find these-"
Of course! The books! How in the world did he manage to get the books?!
I don't bother letting him finish. With haste, I leap to my feet and dash over to where the young Siar had abandoned my treasures. I grab them and pull them to my chest protectively.
"Might those books be yours? They don't appear to have originated from the Empire..." He steps closer, "Family heirloom, perhaps?"
"None of your damn business!" I shoot back. He looks hurt, but as if I care. It doesn't matter if he's a child - a traitor is a traitor, though and through.
As I watch his saddening expression, I fight off the feeling of guilt settling in my gut. Once upon a time, I used to adore this person. I used to trust him with my life, I used to do anything in order for things to work between us. Even as I knelt before the guillotine that day, gazing over at Siar, I felt my love for him, my care for him, my everything for him.
But now? I don't feel anything.
Is it because this is my second life? Because he is a child? Because I am currently a child? I'm not entirely sure. But frankly, the feeling is good. It's good to feel loathsome in the presence of him; it's good to feel as if I can truly hate him without the influence of love clouding my judgement.
"I-I am Siar Du Icar'a-Rai. It's a pleasure to meet you, m-miss..."
I scowl and say nothing. He keeps talking, "My father and I have come here to celebrate my birthday. I-I am thirteen this year."
The good thing is that I have the books back and safely in my possession. The bad thing is that I have already crossed paths with the one person I vowed to steer clear of.
He may look innocent now, but I am doubtless that history will repeat itself. I have to prevent it.
Quickly, I regain my composure, "I-I apologize for my brutish behaviour, Your Highness," I curtsy in my nightdress, low and humbly, "I am deeply remorseful."
"So you know who I am?"
"Yes, my Lord. Forgive me."
"Its quite alright. Please, rise."
I do as he asks and he questions, "You are from the House of Voitria? I was unaware of the Duke and Duchess's second child."
"I am quite obviously not their second child!" I roll my eyes in a brief fit of anger, gesturing towards my appearance. Then, somewhat embarrassed, I lower my voice, "Who I am is unimportant. I-I apologize again for my insolent behaviour."
Without even sparing him a goodbye, I turn and run in the opposite direction, to the western exit of the garden. I ignore Siar as he futilely calls out to me, and don't stop running until I am safely out of the garden.
"Now what do I do..." I whisper, entering the house's large greenhouse. My room is on the very top floor, and the greenhouse is on the ground. I am sure to be caught if I attempt to sneak up there!
I realise that I have no other options open. Sighing, I creep out of the greenhouse and approach the main hall. It's dark and quiet, the glass floor cold under my bare feet. Gripping the banister, I hushedly climb the stairs, tiptoeing past the servant's quarters, past the second floor where Criala, my father and Duchess Voitria's chambers resonate, and finally to the third floor, slipping past storage halls and finally making it safely to my room.
As soon as I silently shut the door, I let out a heavy exhale and grin to myself. The books are safe, and I am uncaught! Finally, something good has happened!
My mood then immediately darkens; I remember the face of Siar, innocently peering down at me just around ten minutes before.
Though they are somewhat irrelevant and small changes, there are definitely some altered events in my new life. First, the random security measures, then Lady Harla's detainment, and now my accidental encounter with the Prince himself?!
Is this a chain reaction? Is this happening due to the different decisions I've made?
I settle myself into bed and look to the left of me at the small chest of drawers. Rummaging through them, I eventually find a grey candle and candle holder. I settle them on the table and click my fingers. A teal blue flame ignites in my palm and I use to light the candle, blowing out the remaining fire once I do so successfully.
With enough light now present in my room, I grab the first of my books and open it in my lap. Starting from tonight, I must learn everything in this book to an impeccable standard. I need as much power as possible to ensure my abilities never bail on me again.
I try my hardest to focus on the written words I'm staring at, but it's practically impossible. All I can think of is Siar, with his light yellow hair and viridian eyes. One wouldn't think such an innocent looking child could turn out so heartless and evil, myself included. Foolishly, I trusted him. At many points in my marriage life I could've safely escaped his clutches, but I didn't. I stayed with him like the coward I was.
My eyelids slowly grow heavier and I struggle to keep myself awake. Finally, I shut the book in my lap and settle it on my nightstand. The day has been so eventful that drift off to sleep not long after snuggling under the duvet.