Marcella was sulking under the tree, moaning about her ill fate. It appeared to her that there was no one left to love her. It was a big thing for her. Love was.
After all, she grew up watching her parents who were so in love. She wanted that kind of love for her.
For her, it was impossible. It was not for lack of trying.
She was married already and the man she married only wanted her for her memory and not for who she was.
His smile, his honeyed words, and his concern for her were all mere façade to veil his ulterior motive.
But can she even blame him? She was the one who asked him to marry her. She was the one who had her heart waver seeing him. She was the one who wanted more than friendship with him then and now.
It was her fault for believing his smile. She hated herself for that.
Amidst her broken-hearted self-pity session, she heard something through the kitchen window. She got curious. Hiding behind the shutter of the window, she observed. The commotion in the living room she almost forgot, was still going on.
Paul was screaming his throat off; his face red with anger and disgust, Maggie was standing by his side provoking him, Mrs. Murphy was sobbing with her face covered, Uncle Karl tried to mediate, and her cousin was standing beside Uncle Karl clearly annoyed with everything.
With everyone on one side, Tony was standing in there, alone. She could only see his back. His jacket was hanging on his broad shoulder and his hand was in his trouser pocket.
"Have you finished?" he asked Paul, as he adjusted his cuffs.
Marcella was surprised by the indifference in Tony's tone as he addressed his father. It might have been news to her but Tony knew he was talking to his father. She was shocked. Not only because of the tone he used (her father would have slapped her to hell if she dared to use this tone with him) but also because she had never heard Tony speak this way to anyone.
She didn't think Sweet Baby Tony had this other side to him.
Paul was stunned too. It almost looked like Tony was preparing himself to slap Paul. Marcella watched closely.
"Without using your name once I've come this far. I will rise up further. I owe you nothing. You are nothing to me."
Now it was Maggie shouting at him to stop. Mrs. Murphy joined in berating Tony. They told him that Paul was his father and he gave him life, that Tony was wrong to talk to Paul this way.
Marcella walked away. She was heartbroken but she felt sorry for Tony.
She grew up in a loving family. Her parents showered her with love. She was the one who walked away.
But Tony's life was entirely different.
She didn't know why Paul chose to abandon Tony. He never took any responsibility for Tony either emotionally or financially. His mother too left him and stayed with Andrew Romano, which was odd. Was she trying to be close to Paul Romano? But she's married!
Uh!
There should be more to it.
About Tony…
Tony didn't have a choice. Although he had parents, no one was willing to take care of him. Her father took care of him, but it wouldn't have been the same. Her father was not his father. He never got the love and affection of a family.
She could see why Tony grew up to be ambitious as Randy mentioned. She understood him. She was mad at Tony, but she understood him. He lost a lot and he copes by getting everything he desires, by any means necessary. He wants to climb to the top of the hill where he thinks his happiness lies.
She understood him. And she pitied him.
Happiness is not something that will be found at the end of a journey. If you think one thing or another will bring you happiness you will only get disappointed. That's what her father used to say.
Marcella sighed and lied under the maple tree. The leaves have all turned almost red and she heard the soft rustle as the gentle wind blew. She stared at the sky through the leaves. In the lush gardens, the robins chirped chasing one another, playing a tranquilizing symphony.
As the gentle wind caressed her, she relaxed. Her heart that was racing out of anger and disappointment calmed down.
Yeah, so what if he wanted to marry me for the Codex? It was not like I wanted to marry him for love! I had an ulterior motive too. Isn't it hypocritic to blame only him?
He could have been open about it. But then… people are inherently selfish. If she knew, she wouldn't have married him.
Marcella sighed.
She still would have married him in the same situation. She never allowed herself to accept one truth. She's had a crush on Tony forever. That was the reason it hurt when he refused to kiss her. It was also why she did something stupid that forced her to leave home.
It is the same reason she cannot forgive Tony for lying to her.
Truly, love is not for her. She learned that with Aiden. She should have held her resolve.
When she met Tony again, she let her heart waver and now she has paid handsomely for that.
But it is fine… It is fine… Nothing is lost, yet.
She saw how much influence Tony has and he was willing to use his influence for her sake. Although he had ulterior motives, he did more than Aiden did. He tried to give something back. To be precise, he's yet to get anything from her but he did a lot for her.
A lot.
She has doubts about the Romano family. Tony appears to dislike that family too. Although she knew not to put too much faith on him as they are his family, she thought it would be foolish to not use this chance.
Their marriage can be a partnership, like a business partnership without any feelings involved. They can pull it off, she presumed.
She saw Tony walking toward her. She quickly sat up and fixed her hair. She decided to talk to Tony about it.
She thought Tony would have no problem with it.
Tony's eyes were red. When he met her eyes, he smiled. It was not the same smile she was accustomed to.
Was it because the rose-colored curtain that blinded her was ripped off, she could see the emptiness in his smile?
Her heart clenched with pain.
Really? Did he not have the least bit of feelings toward me?
Clenching her jaws, she took in a deep breath. She must keep her resolution.
She must not fall in love. Love is pain. Love is suffering.
She should only concentrate on the well-being of her nephew and find out who killed her sister.
Yeah, she was going to live only for her purpose. That was her resolution.