2022

MARCH 31

6:32 PM

Please, please don't close your eyes - my little brother speaks to me with tears in his eyes.

I try to keep them open, I try to stay conscious, but my mind is tired, very tired. The screams I hear around me don't help at all, everything seems to be happening too fast.

What happened? - I ask, trying to keep myself in control.

I see my brother, I see his face crying, his little hand clutching my shirt.

Don't worry, everything will be fine - I tell him, trying to sound calm.

Don't worry, I'll rest these days and we'll watch that series we had to finish - I tell him, trying to smile at him.

I had to take a bath today, right.

Everything, absolutely everything will be...

fine.

I try to say, but my body just dropped.

Year 576

Era of Celestial Royalty

I run with all my might, but I can't stop thinking about what they told me in the tavern last week. "It would be nice to have a good girlfriend," they said. "Someone you can tell your stuff to, who will hold you and cuddle me and I can lie in her lap. Someone whose touch is silky smooth. I wonder what that would feel like."

That stuck with me, and now I can't help but imagine what it would be like to have someone like that by my side. But there are also other things I wish for with all my heart. Like having a huge house. A place where I don't have to sleep with boxes every night. A place with a room all to myself where the rain won't get me wet and cold.

And most importantly, I'd like to have real friends. Friends I can trust, who are willing to fight by my side. Friends I can have drinks with when I'm older, and maybe even talk about girls. But why am I so embarrassed to think about that?

As I keep running, I realize that it's been a year since that incident. I'm better now, but the wound still hurts. My legs are tired after an hour of running with little water and no food. I need to get out of here, but being alone is taking too much of a toll on me. I feel melancholy, but I can't help but think of all the things I'd like to have someday.

I keep running, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe someday, just maybe, I can have all those things I want so badly.