I had to find Miro. He would care, I knew. He had to. It'd be foolish for me to try and put my trust in the other Rats, at least for something like this. I knew how they thought of Luke. No. Not Luke. Fluke. They'll never take you seriously if you use the name he prefers.
As much as he'd try to change it, his name was his name. If you were lucky, you remembered your birth name. If you were lucky, though slightly less, you'd be given a name that wasn't half bad. Like Fluke-a name that came from him pulling off a theft when nobody would have expected him to. And he complains about his name.
And then there were the unlucky. Then there was me.
It was nothing I wished to think about, much less talk about.
I wondered as I walked how many knew. Fluke, I knew, perhaps even some of the Rats, where I was headed now. Much fun as they did make about me, I knew that they would have my back. Had had it before. I saw no reason why now would be any different.
Because it's not my skin they're trying to save.
I tried not to think of that very likely possibility, that they wouldn't even give it a second thought, perfectly fine with letting Fluke die as he wasn't one of them.
Not Miro. He knew what Fluke had done before, what he was capable of, what he had done for us before. Stash houses, supply transfers, extortions we could interrupt, I didn't have to list them. His actions spoke for themselves.
And now, if we find him, we can make him one of us. For real. I can finally help him.
No. Not 'if'. 'When.'
It was a desperate struggle to scour the streets on my way back to the Den, watching my back every step of the way. 3 years we'd been hiding, and we've lost many Dens before. We wouldn't lose this one. We knew the routine, how to cover our tracks, how to ensure we weren't seen, followed, hunted.
We took thin alleyways, used crawlspaces beneath buildings that have long since exceeded their use to Taisho. No route was too cramped, too dirty, too dangerous. We were rats. We knew what we were doing.
I picked myself off the ground, now within a small inner courtyard otherwise blocked off, practically abandoned, brushing the dirt and dust from my tattered shirt as I looked around me and beneath the crawlspace I had used. Nobody following. The area around me was empty, and frankly, we had no doubt we could hide here and get away with it for months, and perhaps even years, but there was no such thing as "too careful."
It was a relief, to be sure. I wouldn't compromise us, wouldn't put my friends, my family at risk. I pushed aside the crate that hid another crawlspace, light enough for it to be allowed to be moved back into place from beneath, which I was sure to do so. Beneath the house that was just another piece of the puzzle, I had no difficulty finding the loose board that led within, entering the dusty and otherwise inconspicuous building that had likely once housed a family before the slums were what they were now. All that made the house different was that it connected to another by a hole we had cut behind a dresser that I promptly entered, closing it behind me, and creeping to the other structure it connected to. And below the dinner table that sat by the kitchen, another loose board that led beneath the house, directly above an exposed manhole, one only we knew of. One that led home.
I didn't waste time in placing the board back into place, and as the dank atmosphere of the sewers settled in, I knew one thing for certain—I'm home.
I sometimes wondered when exactly it was that water had stopped flowing through these drains. It must have been sometime around when Taisho's residents had first discovered how to access them and follow the pipework to the center of the city.
Now, walls of concrete stood testament to the center's refusal to let us spoil their fun.
Frankly, all the better for us. The sewers being half filled with concrete meant access to our hovel wasn't exactly universal, but something only we knew of.
That wasn't to say, of course, that we took our chances. Returning to the Den was by no means something we made a habit of, only occurring on the occasions that we brought back with us supplies, or an emergency that required immediate aid. My reason for being here, the latter.
I prayed that Miro would see it with the same urgency I did. This was bad; Miro had to know it.
It was with that in mind that I didn't find myself passing many other Rats, most already on the surface, the few here resting in the only semblance of safety they could find after being on the surface for so long, or recovering from either sickness of injury. 'Recovery' was a difficult term to use, of course. The majority of the time, those recovering were merely spending their last few moments in some semblance of comfort before losing the battle and passing. But that wasn't to say we ever lost hope. There'd been miracles before. Who was to say there wouldn't be again?
Fen was one such miracle I prayed for, having been stabbed in the side by a Hornet's shiv, the injury itself minor, but the infection that followed keeping his life hanging by a thread from day to day.
In the slums, medicine was not exactly an existing factor, so we had to make do with what little we had: dirt, sewage water, and filthy rags, not exactly a standard of hygiene and sanitization, but it was better than just leaving our injured to rot on the street like the Hornets were prone to do rather than 'having an extra mouth to feed.'
And these are the people who have Fluke. I know it.
I need to find Miro.
I was fortunate enough to not have to be on the search for him for long, chancing upon him mid-conversation with both Match and Shaalin, both easily recognizable, the former by the burn mark across his left arm, and the latter by his brutish frame. So something's happening, huh? Match and Shaalin were as close as we had to "muscle," the strongest among us, and if they were both talking with Miro at the same time, I could only assume that some form of plan was being discussed.
I waited back, watching their mouths move as they spoke in hushed whispers, an eerie echo of white noise passing through the tunnels, indiscernible to the human ear. Miro's head looked up, catching sight of me as I waited, and it didn't take long for the other two on either side of him to look up in turn, and quickly look away, seemingly finishing up their discussion before I could just vaguely hear Miro say, "That'll be it for now."
The other two nodded, but still remained by his side as Miro motioned me forward. Do I need to do it with the other two around? I by no means disliked either Match or Shaalin, but I couldn't say the same for them.
There was something that came with the territory of being the biggest ones around, and that 'something' was cockiness. They stood beside Miro, acting as his entourage in a sense, while looking down on me as I approached. I would have hoped Miro would send them away, but he seemed not to see the issue, sadly unawares to what they could be like when the mood struck them.
"Reek," Miro said warmly, smiling on me as I forced myself to approach, attempting to hide my blatant discomfort. "Wasn't expecting to see you down here. Is everything alright?"
Is everything alright? I found myself asking myself as though I was stuck in some form of stupor. No! Of course it's not! What am I thinking?!
"No, no, Miro. It really isn't. That's why I'm down here."
And his face grew more serious then, clearly able to see in my eyes that I meant what I was saying. He looked around himself, as though searching for wandering eyes that might hear something they weren't meant to, but encountered only Match and Shaalin, two pairs of ears I would have preferred not present, but Miro seemed to trust.
"What's going on, Reek? What's wrong?"
"It's-." I paused, looking up at the two 'muscles', looking down on me with legitimate curiosity in their eyes. I knew how they were going to respond, how many other of the Rats would respond if not them. A love for Fluke was something difficult to come by in Taisho, and I already knew that the moment I brought up Fluke, any sense of interest they'd have in what I had to say would be lost.
So? They don't matter. Only Miro does! And Miro will understand me!
I swallowed, gathering what courage I could before finally blurting out, "The Hornets kidnapped Luke!" Damnit! I didn't say 'Fluke!'
Miro remained looking at me while both Match and Shaalin turned to look at each other, as though in disbelief of what I'd said being of any use whatsoever until Match sniggered and said, "What? That's it?" Shaalin scoffed to his side. "Let 'em have him," Match continued. "No skin off our backs."
"Yeah," Shaalin agreed, looking at me, amazed at me having mentioned it, as though I'd said the most ridiculous thing in the world. "I still have the scars from when we had to leave the last Den behind because that fucker Fluke saw too much. 'Bout time somebody took him off the streets."
Are they kidding me? No, of course they're not. Do they not at all remember the rest? What he's done for us too?
"What about what he's done for us too?!" I protested. "Remember that safehouse of theirs that Fluke gave us the info to raid? We still have one other site too that we haven't hit yet, I know, also from Fluke!" I turned to Miro now, not knowing why I was wasting my time on the others. Miro, he was the only one that mattered, the only one that needed to hear this. "Right before he got kidnapped, he was going to tell me something he learned about the Hornets. He said it was something very big."
"Oh come on, Reek," Match sighed. "He says that shit all the damn time just to try and up his pay. You of all people should know that by now."
"No!" I yelled in return. "This was real! Enough so that he wanted to meet with you, Miro! It was that important."
"Fuck," came Shaalin's voice. He sees it? He sees my point, doesn't he? "He's really getting desperate, huh? Want to sell you out to the Hornets, Miro." What? No.
"No. No, no, it wasn't that! He wanted to talk to you. That's it! And it was me who suggested it, not him!"
A sudden cough from Match, shocked. Damnit. That came out wrong.
"You fucking kidding me, Reek?!" he yelled. "Gonna sell 'im out? Just like that?!"
"Wha-no. No, I wasn't-"
"Match, Shaalin," came Miro's voice, speaking now for the first time since I'd begun talking. "You two can go now."
"Come on, Miro," spoke Shaalin. "You're not actually-"
"It's fine. I'll handle this. Just go. You have a job to do."
And, thankfully, that had been enough. They looked to one another, then back at Miro. Got it," answered Shaalin. "Sorry."
"It's fine," Miro said, bearing no ill will towards them as holding grudges was the furthest thing from his style.
With that, the two left, leaving only me and Miro there then, myself praying for the best. He sent them away so they won't complain when Miro helps me out, right?
"Miro," I started again, thinking perhaps it best I make my point once again without the other two to interrupt, but before I could get anywhere, Miro put a dismissive hand up for me not to repeat myself. He knew. Of course he does. He was listening the whole time. He heard what I had to say.
"Reek," he started. "You know that I haven't ever denied Fluke being useful to us, right?"
"Of course," I answered, and so he never had. He saw what Luke was capable of, of the good he'd done for us, and, hopefully, what he could do for us in the future as one of us. Miro had to see that, right? "Which is why we need to find him! If we can go out and look for them, check some Hornet safehouses and all that, I know we can find him!"
"We all know that Fluke has been a lot of help before, but there's something we have to understand, Reek."
No. Why's he saying 'but?' Come on, Miro. Stick by me, here. Please.
"But, Reek," he continued. "What you're suggesting, we don't have the people for that. Hell, I barely have enough to have some people try and recover some food we know the Hornets are hoarding, and I've already sent Match and Shaalin out for that. We're trying hard enough as is to feed ourselves and, right now, we just can't spare the people to find Fluke."
"So after?" I asked, desperately. "After Match and Shaalin come back, you can ask them to help? I don't need a lot. Just need to look around for Hornet safehouses. We can find him, I know it!"
"Reek,…"
No. Come on, Miro. Please, help me out here. "Miro,…" my voice trailed off. "Come on. You know how much he's helped us. And I know, I really, really know that what he was about to tell me was important. He learned something, something big, and the Hornets didn't want him telling us. That's why he took them. Come on, Miro. You know it makes sense."
"I'm not saying it doesn't, Reek." He learned against the curved wall of the sewer tunnel, resting his head back, looking to the ceiling as though scanning it for answers, sadly finding nothing. "But important or not, we need food. We need water, we need to keep the Den safe most of all." He thinks Fluke will compromise us again. "And Winter is going to be coming eventually. We can't…we can't waste people on this." Waste? "I'm sorry."
So…so that's really it? Just like that, 'no?'
"But,…Luke…"
"Reek, I know you want to help him, and I wish I could help you, but we can't. I know you want to go looking for him, but we need you, Reek."
"I-I can't just leave him, Miro."
"I know, but I'm asking you to please try to focus. I won't stop you from looking for Fluke. You're close to him, I know that, and I won't hold you back, but, I'll just ask that you please remember that we need you here too."
But Luke. He needs me more right now.
"So…so that's it?" I asked.
"I'm sorry," Miro sighed, "But yeah. That's it."
And that was the end of it. Of course it was. What had I been expecting? For them to put everything aside just because I asked them to help somebody who's screwed them over time and time again? No, of course not. They weren't going to be able to help Fluke, so I would have to do it myself. I would find him, and I would get him back here, and I would show all the others that I was right, that from the beginning, he was always one of us, and once he was free, always would be.