I held my mother for the first time in nearly a year.
It was silent, not a single word spoken. All the things that could've been said, just didn't seem that important anymore.
There's something about a mother's love, I couldn't tell you exactly how it feels. You could've had your worst day in your life, felt like the world is crashing down. But when she hears about it…
It's like it's magic.
A mother can take all of your worries, and make it so that suddenly, they hardly matter anymore. Just her presence in the room makes you feel safe and loved. They say dogs are the only living thing that will love you unconditionally. Well, a good mother is a close second.
She's always in your court, always has your back, will understand you when the world casts you aside. That's a mother's love.
She teaches you grace, how to be a good person, and corrects your mistakes like they were never there. Moms really are the superheroes we all need.
And my mom…
Well….
She's the greatest one of them all.
Every time me and my brother would do something stupid, something risky, something dangerous, she'd be there.
Stayed out at a party too late? As soon as you walk in the door she's right there. Even though at the time I didn't notice, when my brother started going to parties, I saw something that broke my heart.
It would be midnight or so, most likely later, and I'd be coming in from working on the farm. I came in, knowing my brother went to some party, and there she was.
Sitting in the same old kitchen stool, cup of coffee in her hands…. and tears, silently streaming down her face.
The first time I saw it, I thought something bad happened to my brother…. or dad. When I went to ask her though, she said she was fine, just waiting for my brother to come back home.
That's the same mother that was in my arms right now, silently sobbing, just happy her baby boy came back home to her. That's what breaks me, if I lost my mother, before the good lord calls her home, I would probably just be a walking corpse. I wouldn't feel anything, numb to my core.
After a good 5-minute hug, she breaks the hug, any semblance that she was crying gone from her face. She looks up at me and says, "Gosh, when I got your text, I thought it would be a couple of days before you got home, don't tell me you drove all night?"
There's the other side of mothers, worried sick one moment and ready to give you the talking of a lifetime the next. But to be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way.
After a couple minutes of nagging and scolding about how dangerous it was, she sighed and said again, "In any case, welcome home honey." She hugged me again, albeit briefly.
"So, have you talked to your father yet?"
After she said that, I scratched the back of my head, "Yeah, I texted him and he said be ready to go in the morning."
All my mom could do was shake her head and sigh, "Well, you know your father, when there's any work to be done it won't matter what happened. Are you hungry though? I can whip something up really fast, all I need---"
I waved my hand, "I'm fine mom, don't worry about it. But, if you could leave out some stuff to whip together a breakfast casserole in the morning that would be nice."
She gave me a pout, and honestly, I was a little scared. When your mother asks if you want anything you tell them yes. At least, that's what I've learned… moms are weird.
But they would do anything for their child.
I'm just glad I got a good one.
After a little convincing she sighed, wished me a good night, and after another hug and a kiss on the cheek she walked into the hallway back to their bedroom.
I sigh a bit and after about a half hour of unpacking, I finally have nothing else to do. So with having to get up at 5 AM I should just go to sleep….
Nah….
Gotta run some with the boys.
I turn on my game console, connect to the internet, and hop on Player's Universal Battle Grounds.
Seeing that a couple buddies were on I joined their party and we started playing.
After a couple hours of focus, laughing, cussing my head off, and yelling at a particularly disrespectful 11 year old kid, I wish my friends a good night and shut the console down. It is always nice to hop on with the boys every once in a while, it can really take the edge off. While not necessarily the best thing to be a grown 22 year old man yelling at kids half my age, it still brings back good memories.
Anyways, I placed my controller and headset in a drawer, closing it shut I looked around the room. You could definitely tell that I was a kid with many different tastes, all the way through college. There were posters of different games I had grown up playing, some of animes that I was really into…
I'm pretty sure that if I looked in the closet, there'd be some more risqué anime posters that would make my mom shake her head and my dad….. shit he'd probably have a heart attack.
Different shelves around the room held various trophies and awards, and whatever random shit I didn't have a place for at the time. Various figurines from video games, random old toys that I was too sentimental to give away at the school's toy drive, and again, some particular figurines from a certain anime about a red haired devil and a red dragon.
Yeah…..
Kinda glad my dad doesn't look in my room much, and that his eyes are failing him….. and he really never paid attention to anything that didn't have to do with the farm….
'I should probably pack some of that away.'
Thinking to myself, I look at the bed and see a set of clean sheets, all nicely laid out and not a speck of dust on them.
"Haaaa…. Thanks mom."
Really feeling the motherly love, I hop into the same bed that I had slept in for the majority of my young life. It really is crazy now that I think about it, coming back home to this same bed. Hell, I lost my virginity on this bed, and that was 8 years ago. I saw that girl got married too, good on her.
Laying there I looked around, giving myself a good second to take it all in again.
….
I ended up slowly drifting off to dreamland, another world taking my consciousness.
….
….
….
*5:00 AM*
Awaking to the alarm on my phone, I wiped the sand from my eyes and looked around.
"Ah, that's right, I'm home."
Climbing out of bed, albeit very slowly, I made my way into the bathroom across the hall.
After washing my face, brushing my teeth, throwing on some deodorant, and brushing out my ever growing beard, I walked back to my room. I threw on an old work t-shirt, a pair of work jeans, and an old ball cap, I walked out into the kitchen.
Seeing that my mom left stuff out for me to cook, I quickly got to work.
Breaking eggs, frying bacon and sausage, and layering up a casserole dish, I stuck it in the oven. A good breakfast casserole can fill you for the day if you do it right. Right as I started brewing some coffee, the man of the hour came walking down the hall.
Same old button up, long sleeve work shirt, same dirty old John Deere cap on. His face beet red from being in the sun for the better part of 50 years. Faded blue eyes to go with a receding hairline and more grey to it then black. A big farmer's gut on him that didn't take away from his broad frame. Large callused hands, and big arms accompanied his figure as he looked at me.
"…. Hey, Dad."
He blinked a couple of times, walked over to me and hugged me.
"Welcome home son, welcome home."
Yep…. That's my old man.
After breaking the hug I leaned back against the kitchen counter while he leaned against the island.
"So… do you feel any smarter?" he said while taking a cup of coffee from my outstretched hand.
"Maybe a little, but… It still was a good time."
He just nodded his head and looked down at the floor.
"Welp, you ready to go to work there, college boy?"
I chuckled a bit, "I mean, what do we have to do?"
He smiled a bit, "Oh, we have stuff to do. Mckee's still needs to be worked, Harper's and Clance's fields added onto that. If you're lucky, and run a little late, you could probably knock them out by sundown."
"By sundown, you mean midnight, right?"
"If you're lucky." He chuckled at me.
….
I stayed silent for a while, he just laughed more at me while I pulled the casserole from the oven, "Welcome back, good to have you home."
I sighed, "Yeah, yeah, I better get moving if I want a snowball's chance in hell to get it done."
He smiled as we began eating, talking about the different happenings around the area. So and so died, this guy tried to bite off more than he could chew, so on and so forth. We just had a nice conversation, getting me up to date on the happenings around there.
"Welp, you can take off then, tractor's full of fuel and hooked up already. I'm going to run into town real fast and pick up some more seed with the seed tender. Hopefully I can keep rolling all day with that." he said while setting the plate in the sink.
I looked at him, "By go into town, you mean you'll get the seed, then head down to the service station and have another cup of coffee, gossiping with your little boyfriend's?"
He laughed, "Son, I'm going on 59 years old, I think I've earned the right to take it slow some mornings, especially now that I've got all kinds of help!"
I shook my head, "Well I guess I'll see you later."
After saying that, and watching him walk out the door, I packed a self-heating lunchbox with some of the leftover casserole. I looked around the room and turned back to the coffee machine. I went over to the pod machine, popped in a pod, and left a mug under the spout for my mom. I know she doesn't like the black stuff, she needs her caramel, mocha, something or the other.
Stepping into my work boots, grabbing a couple of waters from the mini-fridge, I walked out of the door. The sun was just barely peeking over the eastern horizon, rays of yellow and gold slowly filling the sky as I walked towards the tractor.
A John Deere two-tracked 9790 RT, the largest two-tracked tractor they make. Boy, does it make a man feel tiny. Sitting at about the same height as most bridges, and about 15-20 feet wide, it's a beast of a machine. Climbing up the steps, opening the door to the cab, I sat down in the comfy drivers seat. Closing the door and turning the key, all 790 horses fired to life, a plume of dark black smoke coming out of the exhaust.
After turning it on, I hopped out of the cab, moving to the engine and checking the oil. After making sure that it was at an acceptable level, I moved to the rear of the tractor and check the hydraulic connections, making sure they were tight and there were no leaks. Looking at the large, 60 foot, 5-fold John Deere disk that was hooked behind me, I gave a smile.
'Could probable knock out 70 acres per hour with this bastard.'
Turning back, I climbed into the cab, closed the door, and shifted into gear. Letting my foot off the clutch slowly, the massive, 40 ton monster made of hard iron and steel, began to roll forward.
I made my way through the yard, turning onto the gravel.
"Well, let's get Mckee's done, full section with no breaks? Count me in."
Shifting higher and higher, the monster of a machine, with a decal name, 'Rias', proudly displayed on both sides of the hood, I took off down the road.
As I was driving to the field, I looked around, seeing the earlier planted fields just starting to come up. No one was out this early, but hell I also could be the last one to show up.
….
Farmers are weird like that.
Get going at the crack of dawn one day and another, mid morning is the time they wonder to the field.
After about a half hour of driving, remembering just how much slower tractors are, I pull into a wide open field, last falls corn-stocks still standing as it never got worked.
After unfolding the disk with the hydraulics, setting the A-B line for the autosteer, I set off. The disk broke up the ground as a cloud of dust began to follow me across the field.
I connected to the Bluetooth, setting up my phone, I started my old playlist, country music blared over the speakers as I leaned back and monitored the work the disk was doing.
A song came on and I couldn't help but sing along a bit.
"I saw the light in the sunrise, sittin' back in a 40 on the muddy riverside. Gettin' baptized in holy water and 'shine, with the dogs runnin'.
Saved by the sound of the been found, dixie whistled in the wind, that'll get you Heaven bound.
The Devil went down to Georgia but he didn't stick around, this is God's Country."
Listening to the old Blake Shelton song, a smile was brought back to my face as I looked over towards the east.
Through the cloud of dust, sitting on top of the nearby tree line, the sun sat, slowly rising in the morning sky.
Feeling like I had reunited with a missing piece of myself, I softly spoke to myself.
"Really is God's Country, isn't it?"