Roland sucked in air as the medic wrapped his ribs tightly in a bandage. That hurt. His shoulder also might be slightly sprained from blocking one of Riley's blows, but he wasn't about to come out of the infirmary with his arm in a sling. It was tantamount to admitting just how badly the other man had beaten him.
Which, in all honesty, wouldn't be nearly as embarrassing if Riley hadn't been holding back so much. After all, in his first match Riley had knocked out Captain Grayson.
Treatment complete, Roland walked out of the infirmary gingerly holding his ribs without it being too obvious. He headed toward the mess hall for the evening meal and found Peter enthusiastically discussing sword techniques with Riley, while Ashley sat at the same table picking at her food and throwing out the occasional sarcastic barb. Riley responded to her in kind, but the back and forth seemed slightly less acidic than it was before.
Seeing no other place to sit, Roland sighed and took the remaining place at their table. The conversation stilled. Ashley gave Riley a very pointed look and he ducked his head.
"Sorry, Roland." He offered like a chastised child.
"About what? Oh, this? No, it's nothing," Roland forced a smile. "It matches my other injuries nicely. I'm starting a collection, you see."
Peter laughed out loud, and after a moment of hesitation, Riley joined in. Sometimes, he liked Roland in spite of himself. Ashley looked as if she didn't think the joke was very funny and continued her meal.
"I don't know why you two can't just be friends." She said offhand.
"It's complicated," both of them said in unison, causing Peter to laugh again.
"Oh, so it's a girl," Ashley brightened. "It all makes sense now. Was it Finn? She's nice enough, and very pretty." Ashley had enjoyed her time with Finn and Mayra on the way back to Klain. Mayra was Riley's sister, so if Roland had shown too much interest in her, it made sense that he would earn Riley's ill feelings, but her intuition told her it was Finn.
Their silence confirmed her theory. "Poor Finn, having to choose between two such hunky, amazing men," Ashley mocked, causing both of them to look at her in alarm.
"Oh, come on, that was funny. Sure I'm engaged to a stranger, but should that mean I can't have fun making you both feel a little uncomfortable?"
"Um, yes?" Riley tilted his head in confusion.
Ashley sighed, "You're probably right. I promise never to comment on your handsome appearances ever again."
"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep." The corner of Riley's mouth twitched, causing Ashley to laugh.
"Oh dear, I've given you a big head," She lamented. "You're really not that much to look at, I just wanted to make you feel better."
Taken aback slightly, Riley eyed her until she laughed again. She was a puzzle.
Just then, a guard entered the hall and looked around until he spotted Ashley.
"Report to Captain Grayson immediately," He stated simply.
"Me? I didn't do anything," She protested. The men around her rumbled their quiet agreement, but knew that orders must be obeyed regardless. She sighed and stood. "What is it about?"
"You're to be sent back to Klain by morning." The messenger confided.
"What? Why??" She nearly screeched. It was what she wanted least in this world, to be put back into the clutches of her father.
He shrugged, and the other men at the table stood.
"We'll figure this out," Riley assured her. He had come to learn about her struggles with her oppressive father and didn't think anyone should suffer through that. "We'll get you transferred back, somehow."
"I'm not sure we can," Roland replied, "but we'll certainly do our best. I'll write to Serafina to try to check on you while you're in Klain. She'll get word to us if things get too bad."
Riley didn't like that Roland had mentioned Finn so casually, but was focused more on Ashley for the moment.
"Oh, and both of you have mail," The messenger pulled out one letter for each of them with identical flowing handwriting scrawled across both.
"Wow, you two really are tied up with her," Ashley's eyes widened. "Poor Finn indeed."
______________
"Dear Roland,
The situation here is complicated and troublesome. I feel I was trapped into adding misleading evidence to support a decision to recall all female soldiers to Klain. Ashley will probably be gone from camp by the time I'm able to get this letter to you. I feel sorry for her, and regretful for whatever part I played in the matter. If by some twist of circumstances she is still there, please give her by best wishes. The General says he will be sending the rest of you back out to the wilderness to hunt the wolves. Please be safe, and keep Riley safe too.
I want to thank you again for delivering Riley's letters. One of them contained a startling personal revelation which has caused me much self-reflection. The depth of the scars which caused me to flee my feelings was far more daunting than I imagined. I am beginning the work of cleaning the wounds of my heart. I write this letter hurriedly in the hopes of sending it with the next messenger. With luck, this will be in your hands before the sun has set today.
I miss you,
Serafina"
Roland read the letter twice over, feeling a strong mix of emotions Even now, after... his face colored remembering the kiss... She still wrote to him. He hadn't alienated her forever! His heart exulted, only to plummet when she mentioned how Riley's letter so strongly affected her. What was this revelation? Had she been fleeing feelings... for Riley? Was this a way to soften the blow when Roland returned and she told him that she chose the other man?
She said she missed him. Surely she wouldn't intentionally string him along. It wasn't like her. On the other hand, perhaps she still didn't know her own heart. The news of the recruits' departure once again was new to him. It likely would be disseminated at the morning assembly once Ashley was sent back to Klain. He didn't know anymore whether it was safer to keep her with the rest of them, into the paths of the wolves and the enemy, or send her back to the arms of her father.
Roland looked up. Nearby, sitting on his own bunk, he watched Riley read his letter. He tried to push away the jealousy. The other recruits moved around making their preparations for bed. Roland blinked, realizing that if they were going to depart in the morning, Ashley would likely be departing back to Klain with the messenger as an escort. He should write a letter back to Serafina before he was once again in the wilderness where letters could not reach her.
Riley stared at the words of Finn's letter to him. They were personal, but not in a way that expressed a lot of feelings for him. Mostly she was thanking him for pointing out what was going on inside her emotions. She called him one of her oldest friends, and he cringed slightly. That might be a bad sign His eyes moved down to what seemed to be a hastily-written post script:
"P.S. I learned some interesting things about your sword today. If it truly is the Valor Sword that Captain Grayson called it, it is quite a rare thing. The General said only two have been awarded in the past 100 years. One is on display as a monument to the brave soldier who earned it, and the other is missing, along with the man it was given to. About 21 years ago, a soldier named Ashmayne was awarded a Valor Sword, and disappeared shortly thereafter, never to be heard from again. The reason he was given the sword was torn from the military archive pages. It's quite a mystery, but I wanted to give you this piece to your puzzle."
He deeply appreciated her information-hunting on his behalf, but had hoped for some expression of affection for him. He sighed, deciding to be patient. Surely Roland hadn't meant what he said earlier? He glanced over at the man, who was staring back at him.
The slightly jealous twist of Roland's mouth gave Riley a little spark of hope. If Roland was truly convinced that he had won, there would be no cause for him to be jealous of Riley's letter. Maybe there was even something disappointing in Roland's? The thought made him smile.
Roland watched a smile form on Riley's face and his heart sank. He broke off looking at the other man and retrieved the stationary kit that Finn had given him for his birthday. He stared blankly at it for a moment, wondering what to write, when a shadow fell over his lap.
"May I... borrow some?" Riley asked, looking humble.
"Yes, of course," Roland mumbled, absent-mindedly handing him some paper.
"This is nice, did you buy it while you were in town?" Riley made a small effort to be friendly.
"No, it was a birthday gift... from Serafina."
Riley blinked at him twice, and walked away instead of responding. Roland shrugged and turned to his writing.
"My Dearest Serafina,
I am so grateful for your letter. I have lived in fear that my forwardness had driven you away. Though I will soon ride away into danger, I hope this last letter reaches you before I am out of contact for an indefinite period of time. I miss you. I carry your letters next to my heart, where I cherish the memory of that stolen kiss.
It enflames my days and sears my dreams. My spirit was shattered and reforged by your touch. How have you entrenched yourself so thoroughly into my soul in so short a time? Your absence is my agony. I reveal too much now; I cannot bear what you must think reading this, as I could hardly bear to look at you after that fateful moment.
I have spoken before of a swift and merciful rejection, but you have not provided one. I am engulfed by hope and then frozen by fear. I can only request that by the time I return, I may know your decision. For better or worse, my heart is now fully in your hands, to be treasured or thrown to the dogs of the street. I am devotedly, eternally, helplessly,
Yours,
Roland"
A tear fell from his face as he re-read the raw words he laid out. He felt the urge to crumple it and throw it away.