Gabriel swallowed. He was nervous, though he'd talked with Dr. Sherman thousands of times, it was never about something like this.
He hadn't found the opportunity until now to open the conversation, though since the moment they'd arrived, Victoria had been watching him carefully. He'd been confident when he talked to her, but now he doubted his ability to talk to the older doctor plainly.
He cleared his throat at the Shermans' tent flap, which was secured in the open position to catch an afternoon breeze.
"Sir? May I have a word?" Gabriel asked when Dr. Sherman looked up at him from a medical text he'd been reading.
"Of course, Gabe. Do you need to consult about a patient?" The man asked curiously.
"No, it's about Victoria," The younger man tried to put a smile into his wavering voice before he could lose his nerve, getting straight to the point. "I've come to ask you for your blessing… your permission… approval… that is, I want to marry her."
He pressed his lips together, a bit ashamed at how haltingly the words had come.
"What's that?" Mrs. Sherman asked from behind him. He jumped aside, and she grinned like a cat as she carried a stack of folded laundry into the tent, eying her husband. "Hmmm, Darling? What was that I just heard?"
Dr. Sherman sighed heavily and rolled his eyes before reaching into his pocket. He dropped three silver coins into his wife's outstretched hand, and she winked at Gabriel.
He was flabbergasted. A wager?
"Why don't you sit down, Gabe?" The doctor asked.
The man took a seat on the ground, his face red as Mrs. Sherman beamed at him and Dr. Sherman shot his wife a mildly irritated, yet loving, look. Gabriel sat, fidgeting, and clasped his hands together. He should be acting like a man, not like a boy afraid of getting into trouble.
He straightened his shoulders and looked into the elder man's eyes evenly. That was better. He could definitely handle this.
A trickle of sweat rolled down the back of his neck. Thankfully, the elder couple wouldn't notice.
"Tell us more," Mrs. Sherman invited.
"More?" Gabriel jumped a little.
"My wife wants to know why you're asking for Victoria's hand," Dr. Sherman clarified. "She's a romantic. She wants to hear you proclaim your feelings, and all that."
"'And all that.' Your proposal was very romantic, as I recall!" She harumphed.
Gabriel relaxed a little. "I love her. I want to marry her. I can't imagine life without her, and every time she's tried to leave me behind, I… it's like my soul hurts."
"Have you asked her to marry you?" Dr. Sherman raised a bushy eyebrow.
"Yes," Gabriel wanted to leave it at that, but he knew it was likely they would talk to her about it and didn't want to mislead them. Mrs. Sherman's face lit up, and he couldn't let the statement end there. "She said no."
"And why was that?" Mrs. Sherman seemed like she'd already heard this information.
"I didn't do it well," Gabriel admitted, "It wasn't… my timing was terrible, and I was trying to keep her from volunteering for the army, but it didn't work, and, I made a mess of it. But, then she told me she would marry me, and then sort of took it back."
Dr. Sherman took a deep breath and gave the young man a calculating look. "Please elaborate."
"I volunteered as a reaction to her refusal, and pulled some strings to get us assigned together–"
"I still don't understand why she refused," Mrs. Sherman interjected, "She–"
"Let the man finish." Dr. Sherman chastised his wife, and she pressed her lips together to suppress her confusion.
Gabriel grimaced and continued. "Once we were assigned together, we went to help with that plague. Well, I became very ill, and when I was close to death she promised me… well, I thought it was a dream at first but now I'm fairly certain it wasn't, that she promised that she would marry me if I survived, if that's what I still wanted."
"And then you got better," Mrs. Sherman filled in, earning another glance from her husband, which she ignored.
"Yes, but when I brought it up, she said that the promise wasn't hers to give, that I would have to ask you… so here I am." He swallowed.
"Did she seem happy?" Dr. Sherman asked carefully. "I will not approve of a match that would make her unhappy, whether she promised or not."
Gabriel sighed. "She seems to be under the impression that I don't actually love her. That I just want her around, like a sister or a friend, or that I feel guilty for hurting her feelings, or something. I don't completely understand. She said that she wants to believe I love her, but she doesn't trust herself to judge the truth. She told me that you would be able to tell whether I really love her, and that she would trust you."
The admission took a lot out of him, and he slumped slightly. He didn't like that he had caused her such turmoil. She didn't deserve that. She'd always been so good for him.
"Do you love her?" Dr. Sherman posed the question seriously.
"Yes!" Gabriel blinked. "I wasn't sure, before, how I felt. It was so confusing. We've grown up together, and it was so natural and comfortable to be around her, that I don't know when it changed. But it has changed. I hadn't thought of marriage or anything, for myself. I…" He paused and took a deep breath.
"I'm rather broken inside, you see. From before. I'm still afraid of the dark sometimes, and I find it hard to be open about… well, I didn't want anyone to have to see that. To have to deal with me. But Victoria offered to. She sees past my defenses, and cares about me anyway. There's no one else out there for me, she's the only one. I can't live without her. She's kind, compassionate, beautiful, hardworking, and thoughtful. I love her. She's been so many things to me over the years: playmate, friend, pretend sister… but the title of wife would fit her best. She's everything I could ever want and more."
Mrs. Sherman's eyes had welled up. Dr. Sherman pursed his lips, and gave a short nod.
"I believe you do. Mrs. Sherman has been telling me that you do for a long time, but that we needed to wait for you to realize it." He eyed his wife, who looked positively giddy.
"That's… good," Gabriel decided. He was a bit taken aback that the older woman had realized his feelings so much earlier than he had. But then, he wasn't very good at these things.
"Normally, before giving my consent, I'd ask all kinds of questions on how you're going to support my daughter, what your family is like, and all that sort of thing, but obviously that doesn't really apply here." Dr. Sherman pulled at his chin thoughtfully. "I suppose we ought to skip to the end and I will answer your question."
Gabriel sat ramrod straight, his heart pounding in his ears. "Sir?"
"My answer is, that I must talk to my daughter first." The old doctor grinned slightly at his bait-and-switch, and Gabriel sagged slightly before standing up.
"Of course, Sir. I will take my leave and await your response once you speak with her." Gabriel tried to smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. His nerves were running ragged.
"She's been standing behind you for some time," Mrs. Sherman informed him. "I think you'll only have to wait outside for a few minutes before you get a real answer from my stubborn husband."
Gabriel gulped, and turned. Victoria was staring at him with wide, tear-filled eyes. Happy tears, he hoped?
"I'll call you back inside in a moment, Gabe," Dr. Sherman said gruffly.
Gabriel jumped and slipped obediently out of the tent. The flap closed behind him, muffling the conversation inside. He flopped down onto the grass, his head in his hands. Had he said anything wrong? Was she incredibly happy, or somehow sad? So often he'd tried to say the right thing and wound up making her upset, had he managed to do it again?
He couldn't convince her he loved her, but Dr. Sherman believed him. So did Mrs. Sherman. They would make her believe it, wouldn't they?
Gabriel brought his knees up and folded his arms across them, resting his head there and staring down at the grass between his feet. Evey trotted up and sat beside him. Maybe he didn't deserve Victoria if he couldn't make her believe he loved her without any outside intervention.
He waited, quietly, for an interminable period with his sympathetic dog beside him. Was it half a minute, ten minutes, an hour? He couldn't tell. His mind was blank, yet racing as he stared at the blades of grass bending to the pressure of the light breeze.
Finally, he closed his eyes, willing the time to pass more quickly, when a gentle hand on his shoulder made him nearly leap out of his skin.
"You may go back in, Son," Mrs. Sherman winked at him and gestured to the tent. "Evey, why don't you come with me for a bit and leave him alone?"