Inanna's family was still there because of her mom's accident. She soon began to gossip about some burns on Inanna's body, they also talked about some marks on her wrists. Will she be a sadomasochist? comment on her cousins.
Many of these practices have existed for thousands of years. They are seen in ancient Greek art. In 300 B.C. the Kama Sutra appears with images of erotic spanking. It also appeared in Europe in the 15th century, but in the 18th century the European sadomasochistic movement began to be bigger and a more followed verse in certain more underground brothels.
The Marquis De Sade also appears at that time, publishing the first novel of sado-masochism Justine, and thus the name "sadism" was given to these practices. Later, at the end of 1800, Leopold Von Sache-Masoch published the novel The Venus in Fur about male sexual submission, and from his name "masochism" was born.
From there, after World War II, gay-leather activist groups brought out S&M, both in England and the US These groups are known as the "old guard". In 1954 the novel Historia de O by Pauline Reáge was published, which feeds many of the protocols and symbolisms from which domination/submission relationships are nourished. Then with the changing social mores of the 1960's and 1970's came more extreme forms of sadomasochistic sexual behavior within the leather community, as described by Larry Townsend in The Leatherman's Handbook.
Many BDSM practitioners do not meet in groups either, they do it personally, individually, they prefer to keep it private.
It is not until the end of the 80's that heterosexual and lesbian groups began to be included with a more kinky movement, known as the "new guard". And by the beginning of the 90's, BD joined SM, forming the acronym and the BDSM community we know today has its beginnings, with a wide diversity of practices, hobbies and sexual identities, to the point that that same diversity reinforces it. one of its most interesting and attractive aspects.
Adonis had attended a podcast about BDSM interviewed by a well-known journalist from the region. Inanna's cousins were watching the show and exchanging nervous giggles...
- What urban tribes are you associated with today?
Adonis: BDSM is not associated with any urban tribe because although it is true that there is a BDSM "community" that "brings together" the people who practice it, it does not have the characteristics of a tribe, but it is nevertheless young people and even Being a way of experiencing sexuality, it encompasses people of different styles. For example, there is a lot of dark-metal, there are a lot of nerds/geeks, there are a lot of otakus, and there are a lot of others who don't belong to any urban tribe.
Many BDSM practitioners do not meet in groups either, they do it personally, individually, they prefer to keep it private.
- I imagine they face prejudice...
Adonis: There have always been prejudices regarding what came out of the misnamed "normal", which I prefer to call "usual". That judgment is always linked to not internalizing, not trying, not knowing. This is how people are prohibited from carrying out various practices that only remain in fantasy.
Many do but do not communicate it and, on the other hand, there are members of a couple who on the outside give free rein to fantasies who do not dare to talk to their partner.
The important thing here is communication, being able to talk at least with the person next to us, about our desires, tastes, and to begin to investigate. Look for serious places to internalize and start exploring together.
For a long time, due to the lack of study of knowledge, the different BDSM practices were considered sexual deviations or paraphilias, and a large part of society presented these concepts condemning practitioners to ostracism. Today we have come a long way in that sense and we can say that these practices came out of the closet to shake the world with books like 50 Shades of Gray and The Juliette Society, which showed that the fantasies represented in these books were actually within reach. of all. This is added to the fact that as of 2013 practices of sadism, masochism and fetishism ceased to cause mental disorders according to the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) if they are carried out in consensual relationships and without causing emotional suffering in people who they practice them.
We do not claim that everyone practices it -because it is a matter of taste-, but we do not condemn those who do it.
Arguably the softest is some sensory restraints, light restraints, or handcuffs.
- Which is the light version and the most extreme.
Adonis: BDSM is a set of practices and disciplines, there is no hard or light "version" of it. However, it is true that there are some practical more mild or friendly and others harder or demanding (at the training level, equipment, others.). Arguably the softest is some sensory restraints, light restraints, or handcuffs. While the toughest would be those related to physical disciplines such as whipping and certain games that could cause skin abrasions or wounds. So also on an emotional level when you play with humiliation, segregation, and so on, there are levels. In any case, like any component of our sexuality, what is "lighter" or more "hard" is usually very personal.
There are more than 400 practices that fall under the following headings: power exchange dynamics (dominance/submission); spanking with different elements (sadism/masochism); role play (role games where one, for example, is the master and the other the slave); fear play (games with fears); bondage (sensory and/or movement restriction); Shibari Kinbaku (Japanese bondage discipline that involves a way of binding oneself in which it is difficult to move), and others.
The tied person, in case he cannot move, receives erotic massages, oral sex or is penetrated, which leads him to focus almost exclusively on the pleasure he receives and on nothing else. Some erogenous zones are highlighted and other types of sensations appear.
- Where can you practice safely?
Adonis: No place is "safe" or "unsafe" by itself, what should be safe is what we do and with whom. For this it is important to read and learn a lot, practice and learn about what, how, when and where, and fundamentally trust and consensus between the parties.
There are different social events within the BDSM community that offer spaces with appropriate furniture and are designed to be able to carry out certain practices, such as those organized by "Mazmorra", the largest BDSM community in Latin America (for more than 12 years). There are other alternative spaces that are organized by different people from the community. In many of those, some practices are allowed. But whether the practice is safe depends on the people.
- Are there forums or thematic groups?
Adonis: There are different groups on Facebook dedicated to BDSM and alternative sexuality. The Internet age has made it much easier for us to communicate and meet like-minded people.
- What happens if one of the members of the couple wants to practice it but the other does not?
Adonis: The first thing to do when one of the parties is interested is to investigate, go to workshops with specialists and internalize, then talk to the other person, tell them and invite them to learn more about the subject. It is important that on the other side we can be open at least to listen and see a little further.
In any case, I would like to be able to make a clarification, today there is a lot of talk about female sexual liberation and in many cases there are women who, in order not to be branded as boring, are open to carrying out practices that they do not want, just because today it is cool, because it is fashionable There, far from being a sexually liberated woman, she continues to do it for the other, for what they will say, to satisfy desires that are not her own. The true sexual liberation is the one that is done by oneself, make no mistake.
BDSM is based on consensus between the parties involved. If one of the parties does not agree to practice BDSM (whatever the practice or dynamic), there is no consensus and therefore it should not be practiced. There are different more common practices (blindfolding, tying hands, some spanking, others.) that can become an initial kick in the exploration of the couple, where perhaps a common point can be found between both, but the The reality is that if after researching and experimenting, one of the two is not interested, then it cannot be done.
In general, sadomasochism has always had a bad reputation, as it is considered an extremely extreme sexual practice, to the point of being branded as perversion. And, perhaps, it is not far from reality, since in this one pain, domination, even humiliation are used in search of pleasure.
However, new studies carried out by specialists from the University of Idaho, whose results were published in the Journal of Positive Sexuality, ensure that sadomasochism is nothing more than a form of leisure that is as psychologically healthy as any other activity. In fact, the research volunteers stated that, for them, sadomaso is just a way to play, to have fun, to release stress. A simple hobby. Of course, as long as it is practiced voluntarily.
There are several ways to perform this sexual practice:
- Immobilize: it is about tying your partner. It does not necessarily have to be done with pain or inflicting any damage; on the contrary, it is only enough to generate the sensation of not being able to free yourself. The tool to be used is free will: tie, belt, bears... any device that allows hands and feet to be tied to the bed.
-Sensory deprivation: in these cases, not seeing or hearing can stimulate and increase bodily sensations. You start by placing a blindfold on her eyes and headphones with her favorite music or a sensual one, and then caressing her entire body and leading the act until reaching orgasm. Make him suffer as much as you want...
Spanking: before starting with the slaps, you have to caress the area in order to relax your partner. Start with some light spanking, then you can increase the pace and hardness of the "hitting", depending on your partner's wishes.
Do you want to go further? Let's remember that this practice, in the form of 50 Shades of Grey, should not be confused with sexual assault or any act of violence.
In this sense, different from the psychiatrist Neel Burton points out that if it is practiced consensually, the imposition or reception of pain improves sexual pleasure. The fact of breaking taboos and performing them can not only have benefits sexually, but also emotionally. Even, according to a study from the University of Tilburg, people who practice sadomasochism have better mental health than those who do not...
Inanna watched as the journalist's eyes devoured Adonis. Her jealousy ate away at her. Hers and all her wickedness were hers, hers and no one else's!
He was a very handsome and magnetic man, he had Inanna spellbound. She had changed a lot and her repressed morbidities had been released...