It seems that I have feelings for Cesare after all. I find myself thinking about how we could stay together until the end and get to know each other better during this time... I'm afraid I'll suffer if I'm close to someone as important as him... I just hope everything will change next week.
"Antonio!" Cesare began calling me.
"Yes, what is it?"
"Well, you know... Today is Sunday, and as you know, the Pope celebrates the morning liturgy at St. Peter's Basilica... Do you want to go and see what's happening there?"
"If you say so... Let's go!"
After taking a warm and very relaxing bath, we set off for the Pope. Or rather, to the place where the service was to take place.
As soon as we entered, all eyes were on us. I felt embarrassed about it, but Cesare held my hand, which gave me courage.
Well... This 15th-century basilica looked slightly different from what we see today, but it resembled it. The main altar with the throne where the Pope sat, the various secondary altars, and other beautifully decorated spaces, separated by the tall columns of the basilica, amazed me with their simplicity and nobility. The paintings were also spectacular and impressed me.
"Let's sit down there," Cesare said, bringing me back from my thoughts.
"Wait... Don't you think it's too upfront there?"
"Honestly? I don't think so... Plus, usually, the priests sit at the front to get a better view of the ceremony."
"Well... I guess it should be okay..."
We walked to the spot indicated by Cesare, getting very close to the main altar. We sat on the bench and admired the splendor around us. It seemed that we had come a bit early, but we waited another 15 minutes for Pope Alexander VI to arrive. At one point, the choir behind us started singing a hymn in Latin, which impressed me. I was particularly impressed by their angelic voices and the way they were united as one.
The procession begins. Everything is so spectacular. Various bishops and cardinals walked in front, dressed in white, followed by the Pope. The Pope was seated on a chair adorned with all kinds of crystals and precious stones, carried by some quite powerful men for such a task. In that procession, I could see a very familiar person. Who, you may ask? The cardinal's secretary, of course...
To my surprise, he greeted us with a brief bow, to which we responded in kind. However, in that gesture, he displayed boundless falsehood. Why is this man so fake? Why does he behave like this with an insignificant priest like me? Why does he treat Cesare like that? Questions that I hope to find answers to.
In the end, the Pope passed by us, blessing us with a very cheerful smile. I think even Cesare was surprised by that. Usually, from what I understand, he doesn't smile much, but since my appearance, he smiles often. Hmm, it seems I am an angel... Just kidding, it doesn't matter.
"Look at the Cardinal Borgia's secretary... Poor guy will be replaced in a few days," someone from behind said.
"It's all because of the cardinal... You don't know how wicked that man is? In the end, he wants a younger secretary to be able to..." the person next to him said.
"You shouldn't speak that way about your superiors, don't you think? The last one who did end up dead in a canal in the city," Cesare said, visibly irritated.
Honestly, I feel sorry for the Cardinal's secretary. But still, I hope someone much more faithful becomes his replacement. Someone like Cesare... Well, we don't know what the future holds.
The liturgy began, and the Pope gave his blessing. From the papal throne, at the appropriate time, he delivered a sermon about love.
"Love cannot simply be given. Love must be responded to with love. Just as the Word of the Lord has told us today about the love that God shows us, to which we must respond with love and respect. Some of you may love certain people but receive nothing in return. Nevertheless, I solemnly ask you not to be discouraged but to continue. Eventually, those people will change, don't you think?"
Cesare was next to me, and I could see how he absorbed the Pope's message. Perhaps it was even about him... Or maybe he felt that all the things he does for me are in vain. I think, in the end, I will set aside my principles and respond to his love... I just hope I won't go to hell for it, though...
After the liturgy ended, and we received communion together with the other priests, the procession began to depart, heading towards the exit.
Everything was wonderful until...
"Ow, my foot!" the Cardinal's secretary cried out in pain.
I don't know what happened, but when he passed by me, this person simply fell. Wait, I think something's not right...
People in the area rushed to help this scoundrel and asked him what had happened.
"Father Antonio, what have I done to you that you tripped me up? Because of you, now I won't be able to walk... What do you think the cardinal will say about this? You did this right in front of the Pope?" he said.
"Wait, what? I-I didn't do anything. I just stood there, watching the procession. I didn't trip you."
"Why are you lying, Antonio? Do you think the Pope or Cesare will be able to get you out of this now? Rome has laws, and according to the laws of Rome, you should be imprisoned for such behavior!"
"No, I didn't do anything. Cesare, help me!"
"Your Excellency, considering your advanced age, you might have stumbled on your own..."
"No! Antonio tripped me! He's to blame!"
The Pope descended from the throne and came to see what was happening. Of course, this bishop maintained his lie even in front of the Pope.
"Antonio, why did you do this? After all, he's a venerable bishop. Although I support you, I cannot agree with something like this... Guards, take him away!"
"Wait, what? Even..."
I didn't have time to finish my sentence as three soldiers from the Pope's guard came and took me. I was escorted outside and taken to the prison in Rome, into a cell where I was alone. Solitude... I haven't felt this feeling for four years. Why am I being accused of something I didn't do? What will happen to me in the coming days? Am I destined to return to Wallachia, or worse, be killed?
While contemplating these thoughts, I received a visit. A soldier brought me some food.
"Eat... It will make you feel better.", the guard said.
"No, thank you. I'm not hungry."
"You should know that you're the only one who dared to do it... Thank you on behalf of all the victims of his abuses..."
"Wait, what? A-Abuses? The bishop?"
"Perhaps you don't know, but you're not safe around him if you're younger than 25. Over 50 young priests and students have been abused by him, and the Church has done nothing to address it..."
"It can't be! Doesn't the Cardinal do anything about this?"
"Unfortunately, he doesn't know. The bishop forced the victims to keep silent without telling their parents or anyone else. That's why I thank you!"
"Sir, have you suffered because of this man?"
"Not me, but... my son... He was... This man is a monster... He ra..."
"Calm down, it's all in the past! You just need to have faith in God and help your son overcome these traumas. You need to be strong for your family... Don't give up; seek justice for your family and others."
How despicable can this man be... Wait, how old is Cesare? He's 25, so he could fall victim to this man. Or maybe... No! It can't be!
While pondering various thoughts, I received another visit to the cell. My ray of sunshine came to visit me. He looks so sad when he sees me like this, but I can't do anything...
"Antonio, have you eaten?", Cesare asks me sadly.
"No, I can't... As long as I'm unjustly imprisoned, I can't eat..."
"I managed to convince the Pope not to defrock you, but you might have to return to Wallachia for that..."
"I was sure of that... Anyway, I had to go back, right? Still, I'm glad I got to know you. I'm sorry I couldn't respond to your feelings, but now... I'm starting to have feelings for you..."
"Wait, what? A-Are you serious?"
"Yes, although it's too late... I think I'm destined to remain alone for the rest of my life..."
"What kind of feelings do you have for me?" Cesare asks me, amazed.
"I don't know how to name them, but I feel like I can't be without you, that I would be willing to sacrifice myself for you, and my heart aches when you're not by my side... But I've never felt this way for anyone before..."
"Antonio, does that mean you love me?"
"You know, like in the Pope's sermon... You can't give love without receiving, right?"
It's too late to fix anything. Anyway, in a few days, I'll be forced to leave, and I'll never see Cesare again...
"Pope knows that you're not capable of such a thing, but tell me... Did you do it?"
"No, I didn't do it! Cesare, at least you trust me!"
"I do, but the others..."
"It doesn't matter about the others, Cesare. You're the only person who matters to me!"
It seems I've become dependent on him. I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave him alone in such a terrible world.
"No matter what happens, don't do anything immoral or illegal to get me out of here!"
"Antonio... How can you say that?" Cesare started to say with tears in his eyes.
"I don't need immoral heroes, but angels... Have you forgotten?"
I could tell him everything about the cardinal's secretary, but I can't... I don't want anyone to suffer because of me. Not even this demon. I think it's better to wait and see what happens in the coming days.
Cesare left with the last ray of hope I had. It's so cold. I'm so alone. Why do I have to go through so much? I haven't done anything wrong ever. Is that why these things are happening to me? Maybe... No! I can't become a scoundrel like this bishop and most of the people here...
"Antonio, wake up!" a voice was heard.
I woke up and saw a humanoid figure with wings. Wait, an angel? I started to pray, thinking it was a demon, but it wasn't.
"I am Archangel Michael, and I have come to deliver an important message to you!"
"W-What message?"
"You have been bestowed with a gift... The gift of performing miracles. You can change history through your actions, so do it! You are free!"
Saying that the angel disappeared. Wait, what? Me, performing miracles? It can't be... But it's worth a try...
No sooner had the angel left than I received another visit from the most diabolical and deceitful person: the Cardinal's secretary.