Three years have passed and I still get those dreams from time to time. Alice seems to have grown more fond of me, as she's always there when I wake up with a smile on her face, wishing me good morning. I've stopped passing out randomly now, sleeping like I usually would in my previous world, no longer in a crib but an actual bed. Thankfully my parents had Fabian and I sleep in different rooms, I was fine around guys back at school in my old world, but with Fabian being the only person around my age makes me think that maybe all boys his age are like that.
Speaking of school, he had also started school at the age of 5, now attending his second year of elementary. I'm expected to start next year as I'm still only 4 years old, but I have been training in secret on trying to learn magic. To my disappointment, I'm still unable to conjure up any sort of magic whatsoever. Meanwhile my brother seems to be quite talented with his fire magic, our parents are very proud of him, with his teachers scoring him full marks.
Fabian: "You still cant even use magic? That's unheard of; you're such a disgrace to our family"
His attitude towards me however still hadn't changed in the slightest, but at least he has stopped trying to play fight with me. He is right though; I am a disgrace to this family, the polar opposite to what it was like with my old parents. I need to figure out how this magic works or else I'll continue to disappoint my family.
Magic is an important thing in this world. How powerful ones magic has a huge impact on your status apparently, so being in a ducal family unable to posses any glimmer of magic just eats away at me. It makes sense as to why Fabian was able to use such bright magic at his early age. At least my parents gave birth to one successful child. As I was in self doubt, Alice came up towards me.
Alice: "Shall we start?"
Ellen: "Yes"
Alice has been my tutor whilst Fabian was at school. She is quite adept in both the sword and magic, so for me unable to use any magic, we mainly practiced with short wooden swords. Father doesn't like the idea of his daughter practicing in the art of swords, and in this world, females tend to focus more on magic, with males focusing on swords. Of course one can choose for themselves but that seemed to be the general rule amongst the nobles.
We stepped outside in the courtyard at the back of the house where my training usually was. Our fighting commenced as our wooden swords clashed together, she was being very gentle with me, allowing me to be on the offence before switching to allow me to focus on defense. I still had a lot to improve upon, with my body still very slow compared to my previous life.
Alice: "Better, but your movements are still too wide. Remember, keep them short and precise"
Ellen: "Yes"
She was right, compared to her movements, she barely seemed to be moving the sword as she deflected all my blows, whereas I was still exaggerating my movements, swinging the sword like I didn't know how to use it.
We continue to practice as usual for an hour before finishing, my breathing has gotten drastically better as I feel like I could squeeze out more practice compared to other times. Alice and I sit down on the bench out back where we practiced, a glass of water in my hands as I go to hydrate myself.
Alice: "You're getting better Ellen"
Ellen: "Thank you"
We exchange a few words as we both go to take a drink from our glasses before Alice puts hers down, making a somewhat troubled face.
Alice: "Hey Ellen. You know you talk in your sleep."
Eh? I do? Since when? I don't think I remember being told by my parents in my old world that I had ever sleep talked. I hope I didn't say anything strange.
Ellen: "I do? What, do I say in my sleep?"
Alice: "Well that's the thing, I don't know. It's like you're speaking an entirely different language, and whenever you talk in your sleep. You tend to cry"
Wait. She heard me speak my old language? Well at least she wouldn't be able to understand thankfully, however; I do feel the urge to confess something to her. I've known Alice for 4 years now ever since I was born, she is very respected amongst her peers and our family, even I consider her like an older sister, or like a second mother. I can tell her right? After some thought I open my mouth.
Ellen: "You can keep a secret, right Alice?"
Alice: "Of course! Your secret is safe with me, I wont tell a soul"
I watched her as her face lit up, clearly excited about to learn my secret before I look down at my glass, the water dripping down the glass as I watch it hit my fingers.
Ellen: "I'm... I'm. I'm sorry, I can't bring myself to say it. Not yet..."
Alice: "It's okay. Whatever it is, it seems important to you, so I wont mention it until you're ready to talk about it. Okay?"
She wipes the tears from my left eye, I didn't realize that I had shed some tears as she turns towards me, wiping both of my crystal blue eyes gently as I try to hold back the tears. They weren't stopping however. Putting down my glass I turn to hug Alice, burying my face in her chest, as my tears continued to flow, dampening her clothes. Her hand comforting me as it laid a top of my head, her fingers rustling through my hair.
We stayed like that until I calmed down. I hadn't openly cried like that in front of Alice in a while, as I try to not dwell on my past, but having remembered, I couldn't hide it. Since when was I such a cry baby?
Days passed as I continue to train with Alice while Fabian attended school, trying to get better while also training in my own time to figure out my magic. Apparently teaching magic is difficult as it comes naturally to people, so trying to teach that feeling is quite challenging. With failure after failure I continue to try to find that feeling, the feeling of magic; I don't want to disgrace my family. However my sword skills has gotten drastically better. My feet now moving instinctively as I practice with Alice. My strikes and deflections taking much less movement as before, with my strikes hitting harder and harder. Alice sure is amazing though, feeling me improving, she continues to go harder on me, constantly pushing me whenever I felt too comfortable.
Alice: "You've sure grown over this week, I'm impressed!"
Ellen: "Thank you"
We say as we exchange blows. I found myself copying her style, almost like she is dancing with the blade. I always thought swords were for the big burly men back in my previous world, but seeing Alice move with her sword, the word that best describes it is just pure elegance. Her white and blue uniform fit nicely around her, making out her outline as I could see every body movement, trying to replicate it.
During my free time, I started to train by running back and forth in the back trying to train my speed. I still loved to run even now, as I continue to build up more stamina, sweating profusely as I try to run faster each day. I still couldn't use magic, but if I can't use magic then I need to make up for it in my strength, I don't care how hard it is. If I fall behind in school in the coming years, I wouldn't know how to feel. I don't want to be weak, I want my parents to look at me proudly, saying stuff like "That's MY daughter".
Mom: "You've been working hard haven't you Ellen?
In the midst of catching my breath, I could hear my mom call out to me from the entrance out back. She looked happy to see me working hard as I pant heavily in place, resting my hands on my knees before coming over to my side, holding a glass of water.
Ellen: "Yes, thank you mom"
I take the glass of water before drinking the entire glass in one breath, letting out a gasp of air as I finish drinking. She wore a frilly light blue one-piece dress, very fitting for a duchess, her red hair done up in a plaited bun. Probably just came back from some business, my parents were quite busy after all as they were nobles. I'm just glad that my mom could see my hard work, I promise that I'll continue to work hard so that one day you'll be proud of me.
Days turn into weeks; weeks into months as I continue to train, working hard with Alice and exercising in my downtime. Practicing trying to use magic after our dinners before bed. Repeating this cycle every day as I could feel my body get stronger. My sessions with Alice only increasing in intensity every time she saw improvement until finally... The next year came around, along with my 5th birthday just around the corner.