I recalled how I thought that I would leave when the captain stopped giving me seed. But that didn't seem like a very practical idea anymore, as much as it had a lot of attraction.
I thought of what the captain said: "I will hold you to your choice." What did he mean, what did he want? Would they take me whenever and however they wanted?
Far away in the mountains, I would have no control, they could do with me what they wanted. But as a prisoner, they could do that anywhere, even right here on the road.
My life was in the captain's hands, but what did he want? I thought about how he had treated me. He had treated me much better than I could have imagined.
He had spent quite some money on my kit. And he had been interested in my healing skills. Much too interested — where had he found out about that? What had made him come to me? And what would've happened if he hadn't?
So, the captain wanted a healer. But that still didn't make sense. Why didn't he just get a real healer? Maybe it was for too long and none would come.
A whole winter in the mountains was a long time. That got me thinking. The captain had felt like a master of men, in charge of his destiny.
But frankly, some of the men looked like a bunch of losers. In fact, considering their auras — there was something I hadn't done for a long time — some of them were plainly drunks.
What was going on here? I recalled a song from my childhood, called "Ship of Fools", about some crazy sailors with a loony captain on a death mission.
This group kind of reminded me of that song, except for the captain. It had a catchy tune, and I started humming it.
The soldier with the scar was riding next to me, and he chuckled. I looked at him, embarrassed. He laughed at my expression.
I asked him what was going on, with all these men going into the mountains for winter, whether it was usual practice for the soldiers. He looked sad, and explained to me what was going on.
The captain was the golden boy of the frontier army. Everything he touched turned to gold. It was him that had led the attack on the enemy last year that had resulted in reopening the trade roads with the Pindal mountains.
But he had clashed with the army command twice over. The first way was by arguing that the king should make peace with the enemy and stop taking them as slaves.
The second was by romancing the daughter of the commander of the army when he was a commoner. So the captain had been banished to The Dragons Backbone for the winter.
The mission was to stop enemy agents creeping through the mountains. They had been causing trouble in the land — killing, raping and burning crops and villages.
Since all the other borders were monitored, the army command had decided that they were coming through the mountains, and sent the captain to close them for winter.
But the soldier clearly thought that the whole business was cooked up as an excuse to banish him. The Dragon's Backbone was almost impossible to cross; steep, cold, dangerous and haunted.
The army command had gathered his squad for him, soldiers they wanted to banish or punish. Some had clashed with army command, some were drunks or slackers, and others ("such as me", the soldier said) were too close to the captain. But there were friends in the army command, and they had been kitted out very well.
None of the soldiers were happy — and some had families, but serving under the golden boy would help make up for it.
It was going to be a tough winter — once they were settled in the mountains they would be on station in the extreme cold for the entire winter. It was late summer now, and they were required to be on station until spring, a period of five months.
Well, now I had even more to fear. What kind of desperate expedition was I stuck with?
We travelled all day on the main road, riding hard, without stopping for meals. We were quite a crowd; in addition to eighteen men with horses, we had several huge horses loaded with gear, and an assorted crowd of dogs.
The captain had a pet falcon. It spent most of the time in the air, only resting on his shoulder occasionally.
The captain spoke only a little to me, he spent most of the time talking to the squad about military matters. For me, it was a day of blissful quietness, and I tried to think as little as possible.
That night, in a small hollow near the road where we camped, I waited for the captain to command me to serve him or some other soldier.
But instead I heard him tell one of the soldiers that I was not to be touched until after I was no longer using the seed. I didn't know whether to be relieved or not.
The men were watching me and there was no doubt what they wanted. I doubted that the captain would be able to hold them back.
The captain came to me and told me that I would not get seed that night, to use my brew instead. My anger consumed me — he had lied to me.
I swore at him; I used all the words I had learnt. But he was unimpressed. He said that I had already missed one night the night I was sentenced, and I could miss another.
He said it would do me good. And I would get seed when I needed it, he had not promised me seed every night.
I saw that I had been deceived by the captain; that I would never trust him again. I brewed my drink, and planned to find and use the seed while he slept. I wouldn't be able to sleep till I had the seed.
I waited by the fire while the squad prepared to sleep.