The rest of the night went uneventful, dancing and eating with Thayer. I was introduced to others from the Spring and Summer courts. We left shortly after the moon hung its highest in the sky. Dad spoke with me on the way home in the carriage, noting that I had done a fine job tonight, and that it seemed Thayer liked me. He seemed excited at that observation, and began giving me pointers on how to act tomorrow during my outing with the Prince.
"Why did we leave?" I whispered, my eyes still glued to the window. "If - if we're back, I mean. Why leave at all?" I asked, glancing his way. He looked at me for a moment, like he wanted to say something else. Like he couldn't. He cleared his throat before speaking, "I know you don't remember, Edith - but once...We were happy here. You loved it here. I hated taking you away from this. I see how leaving did you very little favors - with your magic, with half of who you are. But - when you were three - that's when they came. They wanted you to live in Athehel, and your mother just...She couldn't let you go. She wanted you to have a childhood like hers, go to school - and watching her scream when they came to take you, it just.. Something in me snapped - something told me I had to get out. I know it was only temporary, and I'm sorry, but I'm glad we had those years there. I'm glad you got to be a child."
I watched as he spoke, mouth dry. He looked so sincere. Sounded so sincere. But yet...I knew he was lying. Some of it might be true - but I knew better. He had looked at me right in my face and lied.
I nodded absentmindedly at his words and gave a few short answers as he spoke, but I wasn't listening anymore. Staring out the window, I thought of Silas. How weird it felt when our eyes met, how the room felt brighter, somehow, afterwards. How I searched the crowd for another look, after this man I've never even met - and who I'm not even sure I want to - and was strangely disappointed when I couldn't find him. When we arrived home, dad said goodnight and headed up to his room. We gave a short hug and went separately. Meva was already in my room when I got there, ready to take the braids out of my hair and assist me out of my dress. It's only been a week, but I don't think I'll ever be used to someone helping me get dressed and do my hair. She already had a nightdress laid onto the bed and after changing, she slowly undid the braids and ran a comb through my hair. We didn't speak.
After Meva left my room and I was in the dark, I ran my hands through my hair and rubbed at my scalp. The braids may have been pretty, but they hurt after being tightly pinned to my head for so long.
I laid in bed, looking out the window, waiting for the house to grow quiet. Meva headed to bed shortly after helping me, and the others follow shortly after. I waited what felt like twenty minutes before slowly raising out of the bed, and reaching under it. I pulled out the box I stashed away and pulled out a pair of jeans, sneakers, and a crew neck. I changed as quietly as I could, tucking my nightgown in the box and shoving it back under the bed. I opened the window, slinging my leg out. I crawled onto the roof as quickly and quietly as I could, closing the window and leaving a small space open. The cool night air hit my face and I pushed my hair away as the wind blew it around. I lightly walked over to the edge, and grabbed ahold of the tree branch. Thankfully, from there, it was a short hop down to the ground. I stayed down for a moment, holding my breath, waiting to see if anyone would come check on the noise.
Satisfied and convinced no one saw me, I snuck across the yard, and onto the small path that lead to a river. I walked over to a tree and dug in the dirt, where I had kept another box, that inside held a few memento's of home. I grabbed the bag I tightly wrapped inside and pulled out a bar of chocolate and my phone, walking over to the edge of the river. I have done the same thing every night since I arrived - there isn't any service here, obviously, but at least I could go through old pictures, videos, and texts. This was the only remnant I would get of normalcy these days, when I used to scroll through my phone, in bed, every night. Somehow, pulling it out in that bedroom just felt odd. Surrounded by all the old woodwork, billowy fabrics, it felt like I was in a fairytale at the end of every day and pulling out my phone at the end of it just doesn't feel right. I enjoyed sitting by the river, it reminded me of the family cookouts we used to have when I was younger. This was my small piece of home.
We would make hotdogs and hamburgers, Anna and I would swim and come back once the food was ready and on paper plates for us at the picnic table. It was a far cry from that and small reminder, but one nonetheless.
I scrolled through the phone, watching videos I had made with my mom, listening to her voice with the volume as low as I could hear it, and felt the tears sting my eyes.
Did you make it home safe? How was it?
That was the last text I had gotten from her. I never replied, too busy kissing some guy out front of our house to respond. My one little act of rebellion when I knew the time was coming close when I'd have to sign away my freedom. If I had only known, I told myself. I would've ran to her, right then. It felt so selfish to me now. It felt so stupid.
It felt like a crushing weight on my chest, like the grief were an anchor inside of me, crushing down. Sometimes, I felt like if I thought hard enough - wished hard enough, that it would change. That'd she still be here. She'd know what to say - what to do. She would hug me and tell me everything was ok - that things would even out later on. That I was doing as good as I could with what was expected of me. My whole life, this has been the end goal. I didn't have any other plans, nothing left to do. It's like a ticking time bomb - every year was another small tick away from this going off. This was the one thing, and I didn't even know if I could do it - go through with it. I thought I'd at least have her here to help me through it.
I took a deep breath and sat my phone down, the bright light of the screen hurting my eyes after awhile. I looked around, taking in the scenery I sat in front of. I wiped with my thumbs at the bottom of my eyes to get rid of the tears that were almost too swollen to still sit before they could run down my cheeks. The moon hung high in the sky, emitting light that danced across the dark blue of the river in front of me. Tree's lined the area, hiding this secret spot. River nymphs never dared to bother me, but I never got close enough to the water to be concerned about them. That much, I knew to be careful of.
Finally feeling my eyelids begin to droop, I stood up from the grass and tucked my phone and chocolate back into the bag, into the box, and back into the loose dirt by a tree. I took my time walking back to the house, and crawled up the tree that lead to my bedroom window, but something caught my attention before opening it fully to let myself back inside.
A note, tucked under the window, folded as small as the paper would go, was waiting for me. Did my dad see me sneak off? Meva, maybe? I assume she would've told my dad anyways if she had come to check on me and find me gone. They probably would've sent this realms version of an Amber Alert after me, honestly. I took the note and quickly slipped in the room, changing back into my nightgown before opening it.
You should be more mindful of who could be watching.
There was no signature, nothing stating who it was from, and I didn't recognize the scratch handwriting. I shoved the note into my bedframe, anxiety welling inside me. Could it be Thayer? One of the other servants?
My mind raced with possibilities, but none seemed right. I haven't done anything to anyone here to offend them - besides possibly Meva, by moving around too much while she did my hair. A shiver went down my spine as I imagined who could've been watching me at the river. I've never had a stalker before, but I've seen enough episodes of DateLine to know it wasn't good. I hadn't seen - or heard - anyone that entire time. I'm sure I would've heard a twig snap or brushing of the leaves on the ground if someone was approaching.
The possibilities are endless when you're in a realm where you only know a handful of people, can't trust any of them, one of which you share a home with.
Anxiety, fear, and grief filled me until I could finally slip into a restless sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Edith, how on earth did you do this to your hair!?" Meva squawked as I flinched under the hair brush. I had woken up with what I could only describe as a nest in my hair. Knots, mats, and tangles enveloped my hair at some point in the night. Was I really that restless? I shrugged, making a face as the tugged the brush through my hair.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you made an enemy last night," She tsked.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"My dear child, did your father not explain anything to you? The Fae are known for dirty little tricks if you've upset them, and waking up with knots is only one way they try to get back at you."
I could feel my mouth drop open, eyes wide. My mind went to the note I found, and now this? Someone was in my room, touching my hair!?
Sensing my uneasiness, Meva shook her head. "If you behaved as your father said, I'm sure you just tossed last night. Now, stay still."
I didn't mention the note. If I did, then they would know that I snuck out. I wasn't ready to give up a few minutes of false normalcy every night.
It took almost an hour to tame my hair. My scalp was sore by the time we were finished, and Meva went easy on me with the braids today, with only two small strands braided on both sides of my face. She left me after I was dressed in a moss colored gown, long sleeved and complimented with gold and black threading along the neckline and sleeves that etched flowers into the fabric. I headed over to my jewelry box, picking out a pair of earrings when behind me, the drawers of my nightstand flew open. The sudden sound made me jump, and I yelped as the back of my earring dug into my thumb.
What. The. Fuck.
I wondered over, slowly, towards my nightstand and went to shut the drawer before something caught my eye.
A few strands of my hair.
I felt my blood go cold. Someone was in my room last night. Were they here when I got home? Did they watch me sleep? Did they see me change!?
My hands instinctively went up to my chest, covering myself even though I'm already dressed.
I was too busy wondering who I could've pissed off so bad to be the victim of whatever cruel prank is happening, I didn't hear Meva storm into the room.
"Edith - what are you doing? The Prince is here! Waiting for you!"
I didn't get much time to respond before she was shoving me out of the room and down the stairs. My dad was waiting for me, hand outstretched to help me down the last few steps as I was careful not to trip on my dress. "Remember what I told you last night, and everything will go fine." He said with a small smile and gave a kiss on the top of my head. Too bad I didn't even listen to him last night on the way home. I gave a smile that shown false confidence and followed him outside.
Outside, a grand carriage of white, gold, and adorn in flowers waited for me. Thayer stood outside, wearing what I assumed to be casual clothing with the green loosely fitted pants and a white dress shirt, ready to assist me inside the carriage. I took his hand and wondered inside with him, waiting for the jolt, but there was none.
So, it was on purpose, then.
"Edith, I hope you rested well last night. I have a long day planned for us." Thayer smiled. I thought to ask him about the note, the hair. I wondered if at all possible, a Prince would probably know what was going on, possibly a few jealous Fae throwing tricks at me for having the princes attention.
Deciding against it, I gave a pleasant smile instead, nodding. "I certainly did, I wanted to be well-rested for my tour today, Your - "
"Thayer. You may always call me Thayer." He corrected me before I could even finish speaking. I nodded. "Thayer."
Thayer took me around the village, which surprisingly took most of the day, pointing out buildings as they passed. We stopped for a moment along the way, eating small pieces of bread with cheese and jam for lunch before continuing the tour.
"That is the blacksmith, and there, a jeweler. Though, I wouldn't go there, I've heard she can be quite the...witch," He said with a wink, and I blushed. We spoke of my home, and he asked questions about the mortal realm. What the food was like, what people were like. I told him about candy and all the different flavors of ice cream there was at the store. He was curious about frozen food.
"I suppose you'll just have to show me around some time, as pay back." He grinned at me.
"That is an apothecary, and these streets are lined with restaurant's and pubs, a dressmaker, that is the school....." I nodded, looking at the buildings as we passed them. He went on to explain that everyone here has a job, being the Court of Spring, and with the equinox just around the corner, they're hard at work to ensure everything goes according to plan.
"I was hoping, Edith - " Thayer cleared his throat, and for a minute, he looked almost....nervous?
"I was hoping you would accompany me to the Spring Festival. It's not a royal event, but, I do enjoy going. There will be music, food, games...If you would be interested, of course."
I'll admit, I didn't respond right away. I had assumed this tour was only meant as a formality, a nicety extended towards his future wife out of expectation. But now, here, the prince looks nervous, asking me on a date. I had once hoped that the marriage would be quiet - it was a foolish want, I know, but I assumed he'd marry me and just continue on with whatever he'd done before. He's immortal, this marriage wouldn't affect him like it would me. It'd be a blink in his existence and then he'd be free.
Realizing I wasn't answering, and spending too much time thinking, I rushed my answer and just about tumbled on my own words. "I would love to! Absolutely, Thayer. I appreciate your kind offer to take me," I beamed, face stiff from all the fake smiles I had plastered on it lately. I could see relief wash over his face as he ran a hand through his auburn hair, and chuckled. "I'm glad to hear you agree, Edith. I admit, I couldn't stop thinking of you last night, after dancing away at the banquet..." Thayer flitted his fingers as he spoke, as if to wave a picture in the air with the tips.
Couldn't stop thinking of me? As in, following me around? Creeping into my bedroom?
I eyed him carefully, waiting to see if any feature in his expression would hint to last night, and this mornings, events, but came up empty.
"I had a grand time dancing with you, so much so, that I planned this whole day before first light. I do hope my lack of sleep is not evident in my face..." Thayer stopped talking as the carriage stopped, coming to a gentle holt. He looked out the window, and smiled, motioning for me to exit with him. "This is the grand finale of our tour, I'm afraid. But I do hope you enjoy watching my work!" Excitement filled Thayers green eyes as he motioned to the dull-colored grass field we stood in. I moved up to stand next to Arion, one of Thayers friends and member of council. He raised a blonde eyebrow, as if also questioning the doings of the prince. I turned back, eyes on him as he knelt down to the earth and began reciting what sounded half-spell, half-poem, digging his hands into the dirt. I couldn't understand what he was saying, as it wasn't in English, but soon after Thayer finished and stood up, a servant ran and handed him a rag to wipe his hands off with. I was about to turn away, back to the carriage, but Arion lightly tapped my arm and pointed. "You're going to miss the best part." He whispered.
I watched in awe as seconds later, small sprouts raised from the dirt, slowly at first, then rapidly blooming to reveal patches of wild flowers of all shapes, sizes, and colors. Tree's that were dull and naked, began to grow leaves of bright green. I began smiling, looking around as the dull grass seemed to bloom with life again. Butterflies appeared, flapping their new wings on top of the flowers. Thayer leaned down, gently picking one up on his finger and stretched his hand out to show me.
"This, Edith, is what I do. With the joining of the Spring and Summer Courts - I get to play a small part in this. I bring life back into the Earth after the cold months, and I just knew I had to show you." I looked up at him, holding the monarch, as he watched me.
"Thayer, this....this is beautiful!" I complimented. What Thayer did with a few words, I could never do in a life time. I'm pretty sure I've killed a few cactuses, even. "This is amazing, I'm so glad I got to see."
"Join me, then, for a walk so we may admire my work up close?" He asked, holding out his arm. I laced my hand through, and walked forward with him through the field. I looked up every now and then, admiring his handsome features. How his face wrinkled when he smiled, the way his eyes lit up when he was passionate about what he spoke about.
"My brother Nikolai may be a bit jealous I went ahead of schedule to show off, seeing as Spring is his business, but, I do have a pretty woman to impress," Thayer brought me out of thought with that, and I blushed. Why am I blushing? I cursed myself as I immediately looked down to hide.
"How many brothers do you have?" I asked, to change the subject. A prince finds me pretty! Anna would be absolutely in a fit if she knew everything that was going on here today.
"Only two, Nikolai was there last night, but he doesn't much care for large gatherings, so he was off in some corner more than likely. He is with the Spring Court. Then, Silas, as you saw there." Thayer shook his head as the name left his mouth. Silas. Deciding to dig in for information, I pressed on. "No one seemed too happy to have him there, why is that?" I asked, trying to sound as innocent as possible as I did. Thayer waited a moment before answering, examining a blue flower thoughtfully before answering. "Silas has..... a tendency to cause more chaos than is wanted. Towards me especially." As he explained, I nodded along with his words. Why was it that time seemed to slow down, then, when he was looking at me? Had he done something to me to get back at his brother?
"Rumors and prophecies, warnings from poets and Readers went around over two hundred years ago about the Autumn Court. Things they've done in the past, war...And what they'll possibly do in the future. Ties between Autumn, Spring and Summer have been severed for as long as I can remember - as long as my parents, and before them, even. Winter mostly keeps to themselves, after the war....I truly think anyone in the position Silas was given, they would shy away from. When we were younger, it wasn't known who of us brothers had what affinity. It wasn't until we were twelve that it was discovered. Before then, we were all very close. There wasn't a day that went by that we didn't talk. We would play swords, silly games we made up together, we were friends. After it was discovered, we were all moved to the proper courts, and while Nikolai and I stayed in touch, joined our courts together after the war while Silas...Secluded himself. He likes to pop in every now and then - I think just as a show. I never wanted to live away from them, I was so upset when we were all forced apart, but, tradition is tradition after all. I heard now and again how he was doing, I even wrote a few times when we were younger. But times are different now. We've grown into our positions, and I can't just ignore what the stars wrote." Thayer gave a heavy sigh after explaining, and I looked up at him for a moment. There seemed to be something sad in his eyes, something that he possibly isn't telling me, something else there.
"What were these rumors, then? The prophecy?" I pressed on, wanting more information. Not that it was really any of my business, but, it would be soon. I saw Thayers jaw tighten, like he was considering to himself before giving out a heavy sigh.
"Something that wouldn't be appropriate to speak about with a lady, and something I am sure won't concern us for another number of years. You need not worry, everyone's safe. Treaties were drawn. Even Silas cannot get away with breaking them if he were to try."
"What if the prophecy isn't about him? Would you be able to go back to being brothers, then?" I asked.
"It very well may not be, but, what kind of leader would I be to ignore it, act otherwise, and be wrong? Prophecies are funny like that, I think. They don't give many details, but just a cryptic blur or warning for future. They can also change, or so say the Readers. I think they also just want a reason to continue drinking Palace wine and lounging below the stars. Either way, I think too much time, has past. I think we've said too many harsh words to each other, I don't think there's any chance of going back now. What's done is done."
I felt the heaviness behind the words, I felt the sadness that went along with them. I couldn't imagine, and not just because I don't have any siblings, what it would be like to be forced to shun your family because of a possibility. The need to be careful, to not be able to trust your own family. I gave him a sad smile, "That must be very hard for you, Thayer. I'm sorry." He looked down at me, down to my hand that rested on his arm as I lightly stroked with my thumb. Suddenly, stepping out of my reach, he bend down and picked a purple flower from the earth. Standing up, he brushed my hair back and tucking the flower gently in to rest behind my ear. "There is something I heard, about what men say in the mortal realm. A pretty girl deserves pretty flowers. And, while I believe the flower truly pales in comparison, I see why. But, please, do not tell my Nikolai. There is a thing here after all about not picking the flowers."
Looking up at Thayer, if I thought I was blushing before, I sure am beet red now. Lifting my hand up to gently touch the flower in my hair, I reached out for Thayers arm again. He offered it right away, and we continued walking through the newly sprouted gardens. There was a pressure in the air - one that I knew he could feel too as he shifted next to me.
"I know," Thayer cleared his throat, "that this is hard. I didn't want it either, Edith. We're in the same position. If there was anything I could do - anything to stop the marriage - I'd do it. I hope you know that," He said, now no longer walking. Of courses - I knew there was nothing we could do. Promises made between the Fae were a done deal. There was no getting out of it - it made sure of that. As if it were its own monster, vicious and tempting, that's why the Fae would do anything in their power not to make one. You never knew the sure punishment, but history shows it would be...Devastating. We both knew that. That's why I had no choice but to go along with it. Why Thayer had no choice to go along with it. Both parents gone, the punishment would be his to own up to. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, looking nervously up to meet his eyes. I had thought I was doing a fine job at hiding how utterly miserable I was - apparently not.
"I don't pretend to act like we've had any choice - I just wanted you to know that... While I know you don't love me - while I know you don't remember me, I remember you. I was only a boy when we met, but, I have been thinking of you - this, for as long as I can remember. I'd never force you to do anything you wouldn't want to, but I promise you I will do my best to make you happy. To make you at least... Able to bear it." His eyes avoided mine for the longest time while he spoke, but I watched his face. I watched the muscles in his jaw work as he spoke, I watched as he surveyed the area around us, only meeting my stare when he was finished. Those green eyes looked over my face, filled with only what I could describe as sympathy. Pure pity as they looked at the halfling they would be forced to enter a marriage with.
"Thank you," Was all I could think to say. To find out he held no expectations out of the marriage was a relief - but, it was still that. A marriage. Another tug at the noose that held me ever since I was promised. If it were only marriage - that would possibly be bearable. I could learn to live with it. But marrying Thayer came with responsibilities - a lifetime of them. A lifetime in Aelis. A lifetime away from my friends in the mortal realm, from Anna. I could visit - but it wouldn't be the same.
If my phone had service right now, I would be texting my friend, Anna, a whole paragraph on today. The kindness Thayers shown me, the flower he gave me, the weird feeling I have abut Silas. Unfortunately, there isn't any, and once I am dropped back off at home, sick from the kiss on the hand Thayer left me with, I remember that I'm alone.