'This is bad.'
I thought, while staring at the dead body of the giant creature in front of me. Lying in the pool of Its own blood, icicles that was through some of its body parts still melting.
I could hear the insides still trying to release what remains in it, a natural process of death. That, I hate how I am so familiar with. Many body parts and guts, all splayed out like a red carpet for no one but me to feast my eyes on.
The sound of an empty stomach tells me I need to eat. That I must eat. And the temptation, the urge to just eat this thing raw is through the roof.
The System told me that it is okay, that no one's here to judge or stop me. That I am now the incarnation of hunger and greed, a monster. That blood and death should be common place now. That I am not a human anymore.
[And that is true.]
'I know. But...'
...Y'know, I've eaten some real disgusting shit when I was just a little street rat trying to survive in the big city.
Stuff from the trash, or from the back of a gas station, anywhere that got trash. Shit like a moldy bread, a half drunken bottle of alcohol–which was probably expired–and if I was lucky enough, water.
And when I was real desperate, I would go ahead and pick some bucks off a decent guy. Or just steal food from a store, It's not like they'd catch up ta me.
I knew it was a talent not many had, to run like the fucking devil's on yer tail, hide and stay quiet, like I didn't steal anything in the first place. And I sure did make the most out of it. Even after I was taken in and became a member then quit, I still made a living out of just those.
May have been the most stressful life gambling shit ever. But eh, what else to do? It was a do or die kind of deal, and I wanted to live.
Safe to say I've been through, seen and done some shit. And to shorten the drive home to this whole thing...
I wasn't some kind o' crazy hobo that ate roadkill off the damn street! I wasn't some maneating supernatural being!
I was homeless. I had no family, nor money. I was completely alone. An orphan, a criminal, and eventually, a runaway 'cause of those damn basterds.
But I was also one thing. A human, a person. Like everyone else.
I had dreams and aspirations, I had needs and wants, I made mistakes and learned from them, I had emotions and feelings.
I did bad things, I did good things. I did whatever I needed to do to live.
There's more to it than that but, isn't that enough?
I was just a human.
'Not a monster.'
[But you are one now.]
I sigh, watching a puff of light mist come out of my mouth. 'It's just hard to let that sink in, System. Just because my body changed and everything else changed, doesn't mean I ain't still human at heart. It'll take a long time to get used to...' I glanced at the corpse then my gaze turned to my hand, claws out in full display. 'These...'
'Dunno how I feel eating a fresh corpse...' I said, staring at the very thing that's making me hungry.
'Can't I just, y'know, cook it?' I suggested.
[Yes, you can.] I felt a little hope when I heard that.
[If you are able to resist the instinct to rip and tear through the carcass long enough for that task, Host.] Then it came crashing down.
'That's not gonna work, eh?'
[Yes, it will not work.]
I took a breath and prepared myself, 'Guess I'll just apply the good ol' saying.
'Deal with it.'
With reluctant resolve, I walked to the fresh and deliciously smelling body–Wait, delicious? Ugh, snap out of it.
The air around the body was heavy and suffocating with the scent of blood. It was almost pressuring in a way, inviting, as if telling me to take a bite.
When I got close enough, I placed a hand on it's blood soaked fur, I was facing an already ripped open wound and the urge to devour this thing was punching my gut. I resisted just a bit more to get a grip on myself and taste test it.
I knew it's useless to do that since I know damn well what raw meat tastes like, but I can't help it.
I stick out my–what the hell is tha–! Oh... it's just my tongue.
My tongue looked like a black snake that slithered out of my mouth, it was unnaturally long. When I say unnatural, I mean it was long enough for me to bring it up close and personal to my eyes when I wanted to see it in full. It's a given I'd have a long tongue but I never expected it to be that long, damn.
[Host, you are stalling. You must eat.] System urged.
'Aye, I'm on it! I'm just giving it a test... a test.' Yeah, I was stalling.
Anywho, I focused back on the big juicy lookin' wound in front of me and... gave it a lick. 'Huh, this is actually not that ba–'
Suddenly, it was like the metallic taste of blood gave me energy like no other. Like I drank water after days of not drinkin' any.
It was like that time I accidentally drank boss' horrendous cup of coffee.
That fuckin' abomination that boss created in that simple cup that had the words "Live, Laugh, Love," written on it in cursive, did not account that the liquid in it had the most dangerous drug to have ever been made into existence.
I was 𝘯𝘰𝘵 living, laughing, or loving it.
Sorry boss, you actually make some real good coffee... But what the fuck type o' coffee were you drinking?! How did you drink that shit all day, everyday?!
Damn thing made me feel like I took the worst trip you could imagine, even when I never did heavy drugs in my whole past life. I was so out of it, boss had to lock me up in my own room and barricade the window and the door for a day. That whole trip was crazy when it lasted...
But man, this is pretty tasty though! Wait, huh... I...
'I feel so... hungry... I want more.'
I had no control over what I did next, I just went and took a huge bite off that thing and ate it. I heard the sound of flesh being ripped off and the sound of my mouth closing with a hard, loud, "chomp." It feels so chewy and it resisted so deliciously against my teeth.
It tasted even better when I felt the moist, thick taste of blood. Especially when it went down my throat along with some good, nice, long length of meat.
It feels so heavenly... as if I took a bite off the best meal I have ever had in my life. It's really like an addiction.
I know I need to stop...
'But I need more. More!'
"...Hragh..."
Before I knew it, my thoughts are consumed by the want and need to devour this thing and I couldn't resist it anymore. I felt something snap and it was like a whole other being possessed me.
I couldn't even see what I was doing, I just knew it was all instinct from there on when I blacked out on myself.
Again...