I couldn't believe my eyes, as I read what Luca had done.
And it made me believe that everything between me and him…
Had been a lie.
All of the passion we shared.
All of the intimacy we took part in.
To think that even for a second, I believed he was a good man.
He was far fucking from it.
He truly was a monster.
A fucking monster, who had the audacity to lie to my face.
To sell me dreams.
To paint a picture that he was the perfect man…
When he was the last thing from perfect.
He wasn't lying when he said he was the Grim fucking Reaper.
I felt so betrayed in this moment, as I read what he did.
He'd told me he lost his parents to the mafia…
But he never told me that he was responsible for his father's death.
He'd never told me he shot his father in cold blood.
That he pulled the fucking trigger.
What kind of sick fuck was he?!
He killed his own fucking father?!
He knew that my father passed away here, in Italy.
He knew that Marcello killed my father.
Yet he still lied to my face.
The sick fuck tried to relate to me…
Telling me that he knew how it feels to lose a parent.
I watched my father bleed out to his death in my arms.
I watched him cry and beg me for forgiveness.
But Luca…
Luca shot his own father dead.
It felt like all of the little sanity I had inside of me…
Had left my body.
Leaving me to be a dead woman walking.
Luca wasn't only capable of killing his own flesh and blood…
But he'd killed my own flesh and blood, too.
And I felt so ashamed in this moment.
So ashamed to be so trusting of this man.
I trusted him too quickly…
Too soon.
I was so ashamed that I gave him my all, that I made him believe he was my savior.
My saving fucking grace.
I made him believe that he meant the world to me.
That I couldn't live or breathe without him.
I couldn't believe I'd got into bed with the fucking enemy.
And it was at this point in time…
That I wished he would finish off the job, and put a bullet straight through my head too.
Put me to rest…
Because a life six feet under would be so much better than living a fucked-up life like this.