Ryan ran straight to Zane's room and shut the door behind him. Music blasted from the other side and all I can hear was their muffled voices inside.
I crossed my arms over my chest and paced around the hall, unable to stand still let alone think at this moment.
"Do you think this is my fault?" I turned to Leah who sat with her legs pulled up to her chest and her eyes glued to the closed door in front of her.
She shrugged her shoulders, "I don't necessarily think it's your fault, but I do think you played a really really small, tiny part."
I exhaled annoyingly and rushed to the door, banging on it. There's only one way to figure out the problem and that wasn't gonna happen if I stayed out in this hall. Zane unlocked it and peeked his head out into the hall.
"Now isn't a good time."
I pushed my way inside and noticed Ryan facing away from me and looking out the window. "Can you please tell me what happened?"
"Fuck, why don't you ever listen?" He snapped.
I turned to Zane and Leah giving them a silent look that said 'give us a minute.' They both exited the room leaving us there alone and I took a seat on the bed.
"Sit down and tell me what's up."
He turned to glare at me over his shoulder and shook his head. "Look I'm sorry for screaming at you, but this doesn't-"
"Stop, you're someone that I care about so don't even pull that shit with me." I took his hand in mine and pulled him closer.
He clenched his jaw and took a seat beside me, "I don't wanna involve you in my problems."
"It's obvious that your dad did that to you, I mean come on I just left your house half an hour ago." His hand tensed up in mine indicating that I was right. "I shouldn't have shown up unannounced, I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize because of that asshole's actions. It's not your fault that he's the way he is."
The pained expression on his face was enough to bring me to tears. I hated seeing him so hurt because of someone who was supposed to love and protect him.
"How long has this been going on?"
"It's been happening months before you left." He exhaled, running his palm down his face, "That's exactly why I used to sneak over to your house in the middle of the night. They used to constantly fight and then my dad would take his anger out on me as if it was my fault that she was slowly pulling away from his cheating ass."
A tear slid down my face and I quickly wiped it away.
"With you, I felt safe even if it was only for a couple of hours." He smiled through his tears and pulled me onto his lap, snaking his arms around my waist.
My mind went back to those times years ago. I would wake up to him laying beside me. He looked sad, but I never thought anything of it, I just held him until we fell asleep in each other's arms and the next morning he was gone as if nothing happened. He would never mention it, so I wouldn't either.
I wrapped my arms tightly around him and buried my head in the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry for not seeing the signs and more importantly for leaving when you needed me."
"I'm sorry too."
Hours later we were hanging out in our pizza spot
Hours later we were hanging out in our pizza spot. We needed to get Ryan out so he could forget about everything for just a little while and try to relax.
"Ok, next question who do you think will be the first one to have a baby?" Leah looked around the table at all of us with a grin on her face.
I threw my hands up and chuckled. "Don't look at me, I don't plan on having children anytime soon."
"Believe it or not I don't have a lot of sex and I always wrap it up," Ryan added in, taking a bite out of his slice.
Zane and Ryan shared a look and then they both shared a laugh. "I call bullshit."
"Ok, next question." Leah chimed in.
Zane looked over the questions on his phone and then placed it back on the table. "When was the last time you had sex? It was two weeks ago for me."
"This is embarrassing but it was last year," I snickered.
Leah's eyes widened and she turned to me, "Ok, that's ridiculous we need to get you laid like ASAP."
"Ok, what about you?"
"I'm not saying that in front of my brother."
"That's a cop-out, but ok." I looked at Ryan and cocked my head, "What about you?"
He took a sip of his coke and shrugged, "Uh...about a week ago? I'm not too sure."
I slid my seat back and stood up, "Ok I'm gonna go call my mom so you guys can continue without me." As I walked away I heard them bickering back and forth about who gets to ask the next question.
I stepped out into the humid air and exhaled slowly. We've only been playing this game for about ten minutes and the questions continued to get worse. Ryan and I aren't together so I shouldn't care who he sleeps with, but it's hard to think about him with anyone else when I want him to myself. I pulled out a mini bottle of Hennessy from my bag and downed it fast so it wouldn't burn as much.
"Got any more of those?" I looked up as Leah walked up to me. I pulled out another one and handed it to her. "So what're you doing out here? And don't say talking to your mother unless she's down in the bottom of that bottle."
I chuckled, "I just needed some air."
She raised her brow and smirked at me. "Come on you don't have to lie to me, V." She put her arm around my neck, "I'm your best friend you could tell me anything."
I thought about all the time I spent with Ryan and how much I enjoyed his company. His flirting and the sexual things he's done to me both physically and in my dreams. I managed to keep my feelings locked up and hidden because I didn't want to go down that route again, but she was right; I could trust her with anything.
"There is something that's been on my mind for a while now, but you have to promise not to judge me." I held out my pinky.
"Really? Some lame-ass pinky swear?" She laughed. "Just tell me, I'm not gonna judge you. I'm the last person who should be judging anyone."
"Let's take a walk around the block."
We walked side by side as I told her everything, from us flirting with each other constantly to him taking me to one of his spots with the beautiful view of the city. I even told her about the amazing head he gave me which I had to apologize for profusely.
"I'm finding myself falling for him again and trust me that's the last thing I want because you and I both know how badly that ended. We were always better as friends, but I just—I don't know, am I crazy for feeling this way?"
"No, you guys were always meant for each other even when you moved away he never truly got over you. Now that you're back maybe you guys can give it another go. Don't fight it." She held my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "He sleeps around a lot but other than that he's the same ol' Ryan."
"Just sleeps around a lot? That's nothing." I chuckled, sarcasm evident in my voice.
We walked back towards the pizzeria and caught Zane and Ryan just as they were walking out.
"Where were you guys? We were starting to get worried!" Zane shouted.
"Calm down we just took a walk around the block, we had some things we needed to discuss," Leah yelled back.
He shoved a box of pizza into her hands and walked to the car.
"I also got you a box of your favorite pizza."Ryan handed it to me and then ran to catch up with Zane.
"He even got you food? He's the one." She laughed.
"We're heading home now so are you coming back with us or are you calling it a night?" Zane turned around to me.
"I think it's time for me to go now, but you know I'll be back as soon as the sun is out." I gave him a big hug and then turned to Leah and hugged her.
"I think I'm gonna head home too," Ryan chimed in.
"Oh, no you're not. You're going home with Violet." Leah pushed him towards me.
"He is?"
"I am?"
We both answered in unison.
"Why would I go home with Violet?"
Ryan and I being together alone was nothing but trouble. That doesn't mean I was willing to pass it up.
"I mean I have a couch that you can crash on and it's super comfortable. You're welcome to stay if you want." I turned to walk to my car which was parked right in front of Zane's.
"You also have a bed." He chuckled and followed me to the car.
Once I got home I left Ryan in the living room while I took a long hot shower and threw on some shorts and an oversized shirt.
He already had made himself comfortable on the couch with just his underwear clung to his hips and the rest of his body on full display. I tried not to stare so hard and dropped onto the seat beside him.
"Can I talk to you? It's important."
He paused what he was watching and gave me his attention. "What's up?"