It's been a week now since Ryan left and saying I missed him was an understatement. This apartment felt lonely without him here, but I just had to get over it.
Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx played on the radio while I lay in bed, getting lost in the popcorn ceiling. My eyes have been trained on it for so long that I'd thought I was going crazy when it all jumbled together forming Ryan's face.
God, am I really that pathetic?
"Hey, what're you doing?"
I blinked before sitting up and shutting off the radio. "How'd you get in my Apartment? I locked the door."
"Picked the lock. You weren't answering the phone and I thought something was wrong."
I sighed and threw myself back on the mattress, "Remind me to get stronger locks."
"Will do." He lay beside me and placed his forehead against mine. "I missed you."
I always miss you.
"Your birthday is tomorrow and I know you don't plan on doing anything big, so how about a small party? Just close friends."
"That's just a regular chilling session. And besides, don't we have to work?"
"And that's why we're doing it today." He sat up and walked around the mattress, yanking me up by my arms. "You can help me make your cake."
"I don't want one," I said and crossed my arms. My birthdays were never really that special. Just a normal day like any other day and I hated the attention all on me.
Ryan pulled me in by my waist and pressed his forehead against mine. "Do you remember what you told me on the last birthday we spent together?"
"Yes, but-"
"No, buts. You said you would never take any birthday for granted. You would always live it up for the ones who don't get to celebrate anymore. It's a special day and you lived to see another one. Now get your cute ass ready and come help me bake."
He was right, but fuck I still wasn't in the mood. I exhaled and put on a smile. "Fine, I'll do it, but you have to also do something for me." He cocked his head and waited for me to continue. "I want a birthday dinner. Nothing too big, I just really want to taste your cooking."
"Anything for you, princess." He grinned and pulled away, walking off to the kitchen.
30 minutes later we were a mess. I'm talking flour in the hair, and chocolate on the face. We might've shared a kiss or two, but I'm happy to say it didn't go further than that. The chocolate cake was done and Ryan stepped out to buy the food for dinner while a took a long-needed shower before we head over to Leah's house. She insisted I come there since there's more room plus a backyard and I wasn't about to turn her down.
Once I was all cleaned up, I threw on a black strapless dress and slicked my hair back into a bun, and Ryan and I left.
Once I was all cleaned up, I threw on a black strapless dress and slicked my hair back into a bun, and Ryan and I left
"Why didn't you tell me your birthday was coming up sooner? I would've got you something." Clair dropped into the seat beside me, pulling me in for a quick hug.
She was the first to get here even though it was a last-minute thing which was no surprise, she loved her parties.
"I didn't plan on doing anything to celebrate, but I'm glad you came." I took a swig from my beer and stood up to excuse myself to the kitchen where Ryan was almost done with everything. BBQ ribs, fried chicken, baked mac and cheese with collard greens, and biscuits. All messy and greasy foods, just how I liked it.
I leaned against the counter watching him silently and he turned around and grinned when he caught me checking him out. "What's up?"
"Oh, nothing there's just something sexy about a guy who cooks. A plus if they're cooking specifically for me."
"Oh, yeah?" He wiped his hands off on the rag and tossed it on the countertop, taking a step closer to me, but before we could do anything Clair stepped into the kitchen and jumped into his arms. She started talking to him and being too touchy-feely for my liking.
Once she left I turned my attention back to Ryan. "I didn't want to ask because I didn't want to be that girl, but are you guys a....thing?"
The look he gave me told me everything I needed to know. I diverted my eyes to the bottle in my hand and sighed. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"Because Clair and I aren't serious and I didn't want to hurt you....again."
"I'm not hurt." I am. "But I can't help but feel dirty. We're not together, so you're allowed to do what you want. I just want no part of it." I looked up into his eyes and turned to walk off.
"Fuck, I know how you feel, but she's been there for me through it all. Everyone was leaving and she was a distraction for me and vice versa." He spoke again.
"I understand." I walked to the living room in search of Leah. She's the only one who could make me feel better right now.
I turned the corner and smacked straight into a hard body before strong arms came out to steady me on my feet. I looked up at the stranger and realized it was Seth. Bad timing if I ever saw it. I smiled and pulled him in for a hug.
"What are you doing here? I thought you couldn't make it until later."
"Their mom took them for the weekend, so I'm free." He pulled out a small box from his pocket and handed it to me. "Happy early birthday." He grinned.
I opened up the box and stared at the diamond earrings in shock. "Please don't tell me these are real."
"Would that be so bad?" His eyes roamed over my face. I closed the box back and pulled him in for another hug.
"Thank you for this, but you really didn't have to get me anything."
I fixed him a drink and we took a seat on the couch. "So, what are your plans now that you're back in New York?"
"Well, I was planning on doing a bit of shopping while I was here so that this weekend wouldn't go to waste. I could even squeeze some time in for you."
"And who said I didn't already have plans?" I chuckled. A bunch of other people coming through the front door caught my attention. I specifically said friends only. Something small and they didn't listen. I didn't let it bother me though, Seth and I continued talking while the people around us got drunk and blasted music, dancing around. He went to fix another drink, leaving me alone on the couch.
"Violet!!!" Leah screamed. I turned in the direction of her voice and she rushed over with shots in her hands. "Shots for the birthday girl!"
"It's not my birthday yet."
She pushed the glass into my hand anyways and I drank it before taking the next one. "Are you happy now?" I asked.
"I'll be happy once you're blackout drunk by the end of the night. Every hour I'll bring you more."
I shook my head and she grinned evilly. "Yes, and they're just gonna get stronger and stronger." She turned to walk away, but then stopped and turned back. "And Ryan wanted me to let you know the food is done. I tasted some and it's fucking delicious."
"Where is he? I don't think I've seen him this whole time." I glanced around for him so that I can personally thank him when I spotted him far off near the stairs with Clair. She had her arms locked around his neck and he held her waist and I felt like throwing up.
"Actually, never mind I'm gonna hang out back for a minute, I need some air."
"But the AC is on how much air could you-" she stopped speaking and followed my line of sight to Clair and Ryan before sighing slowly. "I'm sorry, I know it's weird seeing him with someone else."
"Not weird, just annoying. They don't have to be clung to each other all the time." I turned to head for the backyard when Leah caught my hand in hers and pulled me into a hug.
"I love you ok, if you want her gone just say the word."
"And where will we hide the body?" I joked.
"Ok, you psycho, go." she chuckled and pushed me towards the door. I stepped out into the humid air and sat by the pool, pulling my legs up to my chest and resting my head on my knees. I don't know how to go on pretending I was ok with this. It's not like I can judge him because I'm technically seeing someone else too. And this is why I shouldn't have gotten involved with him in the first place.
The music stopped inside the house and Ryan can be heard yelling. Seth's voice followed and by the time I jumped up and rushed back inside Ryan had Seth on the floor, pummeling him. I stood there wide-eyed.
What the fuck is going on?