"Where is this frat house anyway?" July asked as she drove away from the parking lot.
"Just a couple blocks away from the campus. Almost eight-minute drive," said Enzo as he struggled to fit himself in the passenger seat of July's car.
"Okay... I thought this party would be within the campus," said July, turning left towards the exit of the campus.
"You could still back out you know," Enzo replied dismissively.
"Nope," July said, her eyes focused on the road. "Consider this our bonding, after how many years," she added.
Enzo cleared his throat and turned to look over the window, a moment of a heavy sense of silence took over.
"Enzo," July called, breaking the silence.
"Oh, come on, Enzo. You're gonna have to talk to me somehow. Earlier you were speaking to me and – "
"There's nothing to discuss in my life, July," said Enzo, his eyes still wandering on the view along the road.
"Yes, there is – " July paused as she hauled back her tone, swallowing the frustration in her voice. "You left without saying goodbye – and you – you know I hate leaving without goodbyes."
Her voice was shaking as she spoke. July had to grit her teeth and locked her jaw as she swallowed the painful lump in her throat.
Enzo scoffed bitterly.
"As much as I want you to forget about what happened, July – but you know what happened. You remember it all too well, and as much as I want to tell you about new things in my life – " Enzo shrugged his shoulders as he paused.
"There's nothing new to share. This is still me – this is just me. Nothing changed, July. That's it," said Enzo, dismissing the conversation.
"There's a lot to share, Enzo," July barely managed to spit the words as her tears began to run down her cheeks. "My life changed – I changed... There's a lot that happened in my life," said July, blinking her tears away to see the road clearly.
"Good for you then – "
"Dad wanted me to marry Drake, that's why he let me enrol here – so I could know him better," July said quickly, as though chasing time.
"What?" Enzo reacted, now facing July.
July nodded and wiped the tears on her face with her left hand. "He said, give it time and I'll eventually fall in love with him," July confessed.
"Out of many men within the circle? Uncle really chose that motherfucker?" Enzo replied, his tone shifting. "No wonder why that Drake keeps following you around like a puppy."
"I have no choice. Besides, he..." Her voice faded.
"He what?" Enzo asked, his voice sounding irritable.
"He seemed like he changed," July continued.
"I knew you'd fucking say that. Do you all women say that? July, there are way better men out there than Drake – "
July smiled bitterly. "I know. I know, but it's not like I have a choice, don't I?"
"Do you want this?" Enzo asked.
A pause lingered.
"July, I asked you. Do you want this?" Enzo repeated.
"I don't – I don't know..."
"Really? What part of this had you thought twice?"
"Because of him, Dad allowed me to study outside the mansion. He helped me adjust to this new world I am exploring right now and – "
"And?"
"Without him, I'll be – "
"So, you're just using him for this freedom?" Enzo raised a brow.
July swallowed as she felt Enzo's stare drill holes into her head, cornering her into that question.
"No," she forced the word out.
"It may appear and sound like that, but no. I promised myself that I'll learn how to love him," said July.
"You promised yourself? For what?"
"For the future – our future. Besides, he's not that bad..."
"Oh, dear god," Enzo mumbled and palmed his face. "I'm telling you this right now, July. Don't fucking wait for the time when you have to learn the hard way."
"Can I ask you a question?" July asked as she turned to her left, following the GPS of her car.
"Ask away," said Enzo in a clipped tone.
"What is it that you know about Drake? That you two seem to have bad blood with each other?"
"You don't want to know," said Enzo and looked away.
"You seem too dedicated to dragging me away from his presence – I do think I deserve to be enlightened."
"You want to learn how to love him right?"
"Yeah but – "
"Then figure it out yourself," said Enzo.
The last turn to the left led July and her cousin into a huge modern house, but it wasn't as big as her father's ancestral vintage mansion. The house in front of her was a two-story contemporary modern house with huge glass windows and a perfectly trimmed garden in the front yard. Several cars were parked beside the subdivision street. Colourful lights flashed through the glass windows of the house. The muffled sound of club music was audible from across the street.
"Uhm... was it supposed to be loud like that?" July asked as she exited her car and followed her cousin inside the property.
"You have an annual gala at your mansion. You should know that parties are supposed to be loud," said Enzo.
"But the music isn't like this – it was always the orchestra and waltz – "
As they walked closer to the main entrance of the house the music grew louder, and the muffled mixed voices of the people inside became more audible as well.
July had her eyes wandering all over the place, her heart racing – she found herself troubled over whether it was the excitement or the crippling social anxiety. The party she was used to was always suits and long satin dresses, orchestra music, waltz, champagne, wine, and whisky. There weren't any games at her parties. No fun games, but the annual auction and poker, wherein guests bet with their thousands and millions worth of investments and properties.
"Well, welcome to this new world where parties had no rules, but to have fun," Enzo opened the door opened, and the blasting speakers welcomed them with upbeat club music, lights from huge disco balls hanging at the high ceiling of the house.
There were people all over the place. Couples casually made out in the settees as though no one else was in the room but themselves.
"Wow..." July mumbled as she studied the place.
"Yo! Dude!" A man approached them with bottles of beer in his hands. "I thought you'd finally changed for the better and decline my invite – what took you so long? Zammy's been waiting for you," said the blonde guy.
"I hope I'm not too late," said Enzo and grabbed one of the beers.
"Late or not, at least you fucking showed up – oh, is this her?"
"July, my cousin," Enzo introduced as he gestured over her. "July, this is Levi. Levi, this I July."
"Nice to meet you, July," said Levi offering his vacant hand.
"Pleasure," said July and shook Levi's hand.
"The concert earlier was out of this fucking world, by the way," said Levi.
"Thank you," July replied rather loudly, trying to make her voice audible over the loud music.
"Let's join the others upstairs," invited Enzo.
"Wait, could you show me the washroom first? I need to use it for a minute," said July.
"Sure, this way."
As Enzo led the way toward the washroom, they passed through people greeting Enzo, and some were smiling at her. She was glad she was able to blend in with the crowd and not appear like a lost ignorant spoiled brat at a frat house party.
"Follow this hallway. That door on your right is the washroom. I'll wait here," said Enzo as he leaned against the wall.
"Okay. I'll be quick," said July as she strode towards the washroom door.
She shut the door closed, and ran towards the sink, facing the mirror. She figured she was sweating cold, and her face was evidently pale despite the makeup on her face.
Confusion grew inside her as she weighed whether she was overstimulated by the sudden exposure to large and loud crowds or was only overreacting. She grew up asking her father to allow her to attend parties like this – like the one's she'd seen in movies. It always appeared fun on screen and in books, but she felt otherwise. Was it the guilt because she left without telling Drake? She wasn't sure at all.
Her capacity for social interactions was threatening to shut down the longer she stood surrounded by a crowd of strangers. The music was fun to listen to at first, but then she felt her hands tremble out of her control, and her knees began to soften. She could feel her heartbeat beyond normal as though it wanted to crash out of her ribcage. Her strength was slowly fading, and could barely keep her grip on the edge of the sink.
"Please... please... not in here..." July whispered.
Her social anxiety was consuming her rapidly, resulting in a panic attack. She covered her ears with both hands, and the world started spinning. Her vision began to appear blurry.
"Please... no..." She whispered as she ran towards the door, desperately reaching for the doorknob when the door opened, and she crashed against someone.
"Hey, hey – watch out —"
July crashed against his chest almost losing both of their balance — good thing Hugh was able to have a grip on the door frame. His arm wrapped swiftly around July's back, supporting her weight, preventing her to fall to the floor, while his other hand held his balance against the door frame.