The morning arrived quickly, and her body felt hugged by such heaviness, pinning her into her bed. The sunlight peeked through the gaps in her drapes, painting her bedroom with the gentle morning sunlight. July rolled over her bed, hugging the layers of sheets close to her body, realizing she hadn't changed her clothes the night before. She curled herself, taking advantage of the immediate warmth engulfing her cold skin.
Yesterday was a long day, and the rest she had wasn't enough at all. A moment of stillness took over, seemingly caressing her tired body back to sleep. Her breathing was calm as the mattress felt like a soft cloud cuddling her body. She was on her first step to dreamland when her eyes shot open, and her breathing drew deep in her lungs.
"Oh no, no, no..." She kept muttering as she frantically crawled off her bed.
She reached over to her bedside table, snatching her cell phone.
Five alarms were missed.
July dashed toward the bathroom. The clock was ticking inside her head. The shower was quick, but considering breakfast will munch a generous amount of time. She paced around her apartment as she got ready for school - her heart racing and thoughts piling up in her head that would collapse if not contained. She wondered if it felt the same for other students or if it only felt like that because it was her first time learning in a classroom, and she was running late.
Having not enough time to rummage through her closet for an outfit, she grabbed the nearest clothing within her reach. She wore a black tank top, a white cardigan, and a brown skirt that hugged her figure perfectly. A bit of relief crossed her chest as she put on her shoes.
"Thank goodness..." She whispered to herself and rushed towards the door.
The door clicked, indicating it was locked. Her strides were hurried. Keys jingled as they shook against one another. She was in the parking lot when she felt something was missing. Her steps reduced speed as she distinguished what was missing.
"My I.D.," July whispered to herself, turning in the opposite direction of her destination.
The door swung open as she entered the room. The sound of her steps echoed around the apartment. July rummaged through every room where she might've misplaced her I.D. and found nothing. She wandered around her bedroom once more and caught the sight of Hugh's guitar pick pendant sitting on her bedside table, right next to her lamp.
She sighed and shoved it inside her bag. She consoled herself by the reminder that she already had an affidavit for lost I.D. and regretted the time she wasted by rushing back to her apartment. She might've been halfway toward the university town.
"Morning!" The security guard greeted her cheerfully as the gates opened for her car.
"Morning," July replied with a smile on her face.
She seemed to slip away from her car, almost falling down to the parking grounds when the hem of her cardigan tangled with her car door.
"Seriously?" She said in a hushed voice. Her patience nearly slipped from her grip.
As soon as she freed herself from her clumsiness she sprinted toward her building. Her feet barely met the ground with her speed. Unlike yesterday, the hallway was packed as she arrived inside the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences. There were students clustered in front of a bulletin board. Others were on their phones, others carried piles of books, and others converse with their friends along the hallway. Again, the big crowd and loud noises.
"Hey," a random student greeted July as she walked past a group of students.
She looked around for a while, assuring herself that the greeting was for her.
"Hello," she greeted as she walked past them.
"Hi!" A girl appeared in front of her, holding a DSLR camera.
"Oh, hello," July greeted back, awkwardly elated by the attention.
"I'm Niña, by the way," said Niña, offering a hand as they walked in the hallway.
"July. Nice to meet you - "
"Nice to meet you - anyway. I'm a freshman in Sociology. I just wanted to say I loved the performance last night," said Niña cheerfully.
"That's so sweet of you. Thank you," said July with a smile on her face.
Niña seemed to notice July was in a hurry and decided to excuse herself. "Oh my gosh - I didn't realize you were in a hurry. I'm so sorry - "
"It's fine," said July politely. "But I really have to go. I'll see you around!" said July as she sprinted away.
Most of her morning was spent overthinking about making friends, and how to handle conversations with strangers - it was pretty manageable. Though she wondered how long she could handle it.
She tried her best to brush off the little voice of her subconscious, fearful she might have another wave of a panic attack. What happened last night at the party and the encounter with Hugh was embarrassing enough. The thought of Hugh wasn't helpful, knowing she still had to return his pendant. It was rather prudent that she returns what's his.
July scrolled through her phone, swiping out the floods of messages on her notification panel that were mostly from Drake as she was looking for her class schedule when she felt a cold hand wrapped around her elbow, tugging her inside one of the classrooms. A scream was about to escape her lips when she recognized the face of the man that hauled her inside that classroom.
"Oh, it's you," said July in relief. "You scared me," she added as she caught her breath.
"Sorry," said Drake as he closed the door and fixed his glasses.
"What is it? I'm running late," July asked in a hurried voice while she glanced at her watch.
"Where were you last night?" Drake asked as he put both of his hands behind his back.
July processed the words asked. "At the concert...?" She answered with a puzzled look on her face. He knew she was at the concert.
"No. After the concert?" Drake rephrased his question.
July stilled at the tone - it was familiar. The tone sounded near enough to the one her father uses on her when he loses sight of her within the Watson estate.
"I went to a party with - "
"What Party? With whom?" Drake cut her off.
"With Enzo," she replied and looked him straight in the eyes.
"Where?" Drake asked again.
"At his friend's house -"
"Who is this friend?" His voice began to form an evident tone she disliked.
She scoffed, and her eyes sharpened. "Do we have a problem, Drake?" She asked, her patience began to stir some emotion - a hint of irritation perhaps.
"What do you mean?" Drake replied.
"I told you, I'm with Enzo at a party in his friend's house - "
"Since when did you start going to those kinds of parties?"
July scoffed, staring in disbelief at Drake. "Really, Drake?"
"I'm only asking because I'm worried last night and - "
"You sound like my dad," she replied with a subtle hint of aggravation in her tone.
His expression flickered, and then the emotion snapped broken, turning into a resigned expression. His shoulders sank as he placed his book on one of the desks.
"Look," Drake began. His tone shifted to a considerate and gentle one.
"I'm just worried, okay?" Drake continued as he closed the gap between them.
He towered over her as she looked up at him. His strong scent of musk and mint greeted her. She swallowed as her heart raced, and a strange fluttering sensation inside her stomach upon sensing his proximity.
"You left me terribly worried last night. I texted you and - "
"Enzo told me that he called you to ask for my address. You should've known already that I got home safe and where I was last night."
Drake sighed.
"Yeah, but I want to hear it from you - "
"Why? Don't you think I will be safe around my cousin?"
"I- I know Enzo would do anything to keep you safe, but - "
"But what?" She challenged.
"Look, I'm just worried. Okay?" Drake repeated. His tone was clipped.
"Drake, I'm not a child anymore. Let me enjoy this, okay? I'm trying to explore new things," July debated as her sight fell to the floor, then darted at the whiteboard on her right.
"Hey... Hey..." Drake called as though he sensed her attempt to dismiss the discussion.
His hands landed on her shoulders, gently twisting her body so she could face him.
"I didn't mean to sound too strict, all right?"
His thumb caressed her chin. "I'm sorry..." He whispered as he drew her close to him.
It was the first time Drake was ever that close to her. As though a bolt of lightning struck down her spine, waking her senses in a way she froze under a trail of tension in her muscles.
It seemed as though a moment from a novel came to life.
So, this is the effect of a man's hug on a woman. She freezes, and thoughts flood her head. Her lower body goes soft and weak from the electrifying sensation from the contact.
July recalled how to breathe as she felt Drake rest his chin over her head. Her chest seemed to explode as she processed the flow of events. His touch. His voice. His warmth. His general effect on her was too much to process. Her heart raced along with the rushing feeling inside her veins.
"I'm just worried," said Drake, planting a kiss on top of her head.
It was the first time someone had kissed her on top of her head, other than her father. Even her father barely showed such affection. She looked up at him, her heart still racing as though charged with energy, battering inside her chest.
His hands cupped her face, directing her face the way he wanted her to look at him. His thumb caressed circles on her skin.
Her eyes searched for other things to observe other than Drake's face. It wasn't that Drake wasn't a gorgeous view to land eyes on - it was the unfamiliarity of the scene that drove her calmness away. A sense of inner fight bloomed inside her mind - the options were to wait for Drake to do whatever he had in mind or run away from the scene and catch her class.
Her breath pulled aggressively downwards as she felt his grip on her chin. July held her breath as he caught her gaze. She locked within him - couldn't tear her gaze away.
He took a step towards her, his face closing the gap between them. His eyes feasted over her lips.
"I'm late!" Awkwardness and nervousness seem to crawl their way out of her, dwelling such effect on her voice. She backed away from him. Her arm extended, shoving him away from her.
She stood three steps away from him, catching her breath and eyes wandering everywhere. The walls, the floor, the whiteboard, the door, and Drake. She stood there, trying to figure out how to deal with the condensed awkward air filling the room.
"Uhh - yeah," Drake said, trying his best to sound casual as he turned around after a moment, gathering his things in his arms. "Look at the time," said Drake as he fixed his glasses, quickly glancing at his wristwatch. "I have to go - I'll see you later," Drake added.
July felt all the blood from her body rush up to her head, causing a gentle burn on both cheeks. Drake halted his hurried steps, causing his shoes to squeak against the floor, adding weight to the inelegant situation as a student entered wearing a white button-down shirt.
It was Hugh.
The undone buttons of his white light-weight long-sleeved button-down shirt clung freely from his figure. His black curly hair hopped in sync with his wide stride. A blue pilot pen peeked over his shirt pocket. His backpack hung on one shoulder, and his free hand gripped around a grande-sized dark roast hot coffee with his misspelt name written on it.
Yoo Devin
Hugh paused for a split second and threw bewildered glances at Drake. His eyes landed on July, who took the image of a rotten red tomato from embarrassment. His eyebrows creased as he studied the looks on both Drake's and July's faces.
"Did I interrupt something?" Hugh began, raising a brow at them. "I wish I could go, but I have a class in here - "
Hugh's words cut off as Drake fled the room, slamming the door behind him shut. As the silence took over, Hugh let out a low-note whistle. He brushed it off and walked over to his desk.
July was swallowed by embarrassment crawling under her skin as Hugh casually took his seat and casually placed his bag on his desk. He studied her for a moment and departed his gaze away from her taking his attention to the blue journal he pulled from his bag.
She stood there for a swift moment, weighing whether she takes advantage of Hugh's presence and return his guitar pick pendant or run off to her class which she already missed half of.
"Excuse me," called July, her hand reaching inside her bag. Her voice toned with a hesitant rush, but the politeness in it remained.
Hugh continued to scribble on his journal, pressing his lips together as his eyebrows creased, deeply focused on his work.
"Excuse me," July called as she took a reluctant step towards him.
"What?" Hugh asked in a flat, clipped tone, still writing things in his journal.
"Hugh, right? About last night..." July started - even began to cruise towards him when a few people began to fill the classroom.
Her eyes caught how his pen left his paper and the way he twirled his pen in his fingers, biting the corner of his lips. He was occupied at the moment, and his classmates began to arrive. July swallowed hard as her throat felt constricted and dry then made her way toward the exit. She was halfway through the corridors staying out of her fellow students' way. Several students greeted her and smiled at her. She was in a hurry when a voice from afar echoed from the other side of the hallway, calling for her.
"Hey! Watson!"
He called after her.
She knew it was his voice, but the anxiety won - pushing her way farther from where his voice called for her.
She managed to catch the attendance of her first class that morning. Good thing she was able to sign without an I.D.
July spent her next period writing random words in her notebook as her Organic Chemistry professor paced in front as he talked about Aromatic Compounds and Aromaticity.
"Now, Arenes are nonpolar and non-miscible in water," the professor discussed as he pointed at his presentation using his presentation pointer.
The words from his mouth seemed to slide out, unnoticed by her ears and mind. Half the time, her conscience ate her. The little voice in the back of her head kept redeeming her, forcing her to think she wasn't a bad student for being late at one subject and completely neglecting lessons on the second one.
"These compounds are usually unreactive. They are also used as solvents for various other nonpolar compounds."
The professor's soft and gentle voice seemed to caress her tiredness and lure her to another nap time, but it was loud inside her head.
"Their carbon to hydrogen ratio is high therefore, they are characterized by sooty yellow flame."
Her head always reminded her of the rather odd encounter with Drake earlier. Or was it really odd? She wondered if it felt the same for the others - she thought hard if it felt the same for those people in the books she read and the movies she watched. She knew it was supposed to be romantic, but what she felt earlier only drove her into a pit of confusion. She was absorbed in the argument happening inside her head that she barely heard the bell ring, ending the last subject that morning.
She sat at the back of the class next to the window, devouring the view of the spacious grounds outside. She waited for the others to exit the room before she stood and grabbed her bag.
She checked her watch and discovered it was near lunchtime. A tired sigh escaped her lips, and her shoulders slumped. Her eyes wandered around, only to witness most of the students walking in pairs and mostly in groups whilst she stood there alone at the doorstep. Though many said hi and acknowledged her performance with the band last night, she still had no one to talk to or to invite for lunch.
Drake and Enzo were the most reachable among everyone at the university at the moment, but she was certain a lunch with Drake after what happened earlier might cause her indigestion due to the embarrassment that would be twisting the depth of her abdomen.
The last thing she wanted that day was to breathe another condensed awkward air, and to save herself from that situation was to keep herself away for a while from Drake.
Enzo came to mind. It would be a perfect opportunity for them to catch up and talk, but it took five unanswered calls before she gave up and pocketed her phone.
She thought of calling the band or Gwen, but she had no contact with them.
Before she arrived at UM, she never really thought deeply about being alone most of the time in her sophomore year, thinking it was how college was supposed to be, independent and... alone.
It took a bit of time before she decided to wander around the school, comforting herself with the fact that at least there was no one to impress or to accompany. She took her phone out, checking her schedule.
A text popped up on her notification panel from an unknown contact number.
82+ 722 125 0721:
I have something of yours.
Serenity Circle Bench, after lunch. If you'd like it back.
-Hugh
July read the text message all over again, her eyes darting over the name pinned at the end of the message.
"How did he get my number?" She whispered to herself as she pocketed her phone.
She made her way towards one of the exits of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences main building with loud thoughts inside her head. She was reluctant about trusting the text message from Hugh - also she wondered if she could handle communicating with the person whom she had more than twice awkward encounters with.
As she stepped on the cobblestone walkway of the university street, she halted under the realization that she had no idea where she'd find the Serenity Circle Bench.
She looked around, and as though the heavens heard her wonders, she saw Benn coming her way. July let out a sigh of relief as she met him halfway.
"Hey, July!" Greeted Benn as he paused in his steps, and looked around, looking for July's company.
"Hi," July responded with a smile.
"You're alone? Where's Enzo? Or Mctyler?" Benn asked.
She nodded. "It's just me as of now," she replied.
"You haven't seen Enzo today?"
"No, not yet. I haven't heard from him since last night. I tried calling him, but he didn't answer," July explained.
"You're out for lunch?" Benn asked.
"Uhm... actually, yeah - "
"You can join us if you want," Benn suggested.
"Us?" July repeated, waiting for Benn's clarification of the word us.
"Lawrence, Ashton, and a few friends are going out for lunch. You can join us if you want."
It was her chance to meet new people and make new friends, but she was reminded of what happened at the frat house party last night. The idea of being surrounded by many people seemed to brush the want of making new friends.
"Will Enzo be there?" She made sure.
Asking too many questions and saying some of her thoughts aloud, unloaded such heavy discouragement on her. If doubts and overthinking could crack her skull, she'd be long dead by then.
Her anxiety had grown worse the moment she stepped out of the Watson estate and had gone to college. It seemed like payment for the freedom she was offered. She used to fantasize about her freedom like Rapunzel's.
Rapunzel was looking forward to meeting people and was good at keeping people interested in her and her stories. She was rather good at making friends and keeping friends. She managed her loud and reluctant thoughts by taking risks as though she had nothing to lose if she indulged her freedom.
She was way far from Rapunzel. All her life July longed for that freedom, and unlike Rapunzel, she wasn't even a month out of the university, and she was already halfway to fucking things up and messing up her image.
"He joins us most of the time. I'm not sure if he'll join us today," said Benn as he fidgeted with the keychain in his hand.
Don't fuck this up. You need friends.
A thought crossed her mind.
"So...?"
"Okay. I'll come."