......
I tell myself, as I watch my legs. Gradually, it eventually reached the one place I had despised most, back when I was still a loser student...
The damn female's bathroom...
Gush!..
My lips utters, it irks me, the sight of that scum bathroom irked me so much, but yet again, I had long ran out of choices....
My legs taking it first step, it finally enters at last, heaving a deep sigh, I finally walk in, into the hell bathroom...
My eyes widens, it caught something, it doesn't want to look away....
My eyes flickering, I could feel my heart, it tries to tear out of my chest, still I didn't stop, still my legs kept on moving...
I want to confirm, I need to confirm if this was actually real life, if it wasn't an illusion, if I wasn't just the one running mad, the one losing it once again...
"I am tired of all this illusions, let me be, please" ...
Yelling out, I argued with myself, I argued with the inner loser within me...
My eyes closing shut, I could feel the frustration within me....
"It's a dream, when you open your eyes again, it would be gone"...
My mind speaks, heaving a deep breath, I could feel my eyes slowly opening once again, it wanders round the bathroom, it caught the sight again...
It truly wasn't a dream!...
My heart screams, my legs taking control completely, it runs, I ran to the lifeless thing...
My hand gripping onto it tightly, my lips curved, at last...
The smile was genuine, the smile was back finally....
My hand squeezing it with all the life with me, I could feel my lips, it was more than a smile now. For the first time in ages, I laughed...
"My bag!" I exclaimed, as I kept on touching it to see if it was indeed actually real...
The more I touched it, the more I got my sweet answer...
"At last" My lips whispers, my eyes slowly widening, it finally clicked...
As fast as lightning, my eyes gazing longingly to the lifeless valuable object, it was a search..
My hands everywhere, every corner, I search deep, carefully inside the bag, like a complete mad person..
More than 90% of the money was gone, all that the Goddamn maniac thief left was useless changes, that were incapable of getting anything done.
The fool took the money and dumped the bag in the shitty toilet, how classic...
But I was the much bigger fool for been clumsy in the first place, I deserve to lose the money...
My minds tells me, but yet again, my heart didn't darn cared about that shit...
My hands search through the bag again, with my racing heart, I finally found it, at last...
My heart would have never made it, I would have never survived if it was gone, but yet again I rethink, why did I get worked up all this while...
I should have knew all human cares about is money, wealth and power, they were all animals, they were all ruthless....
No one would want to take a picture that's worth no value, a picture that cannot be traded with money...
No!, no one would take something like this, no one at all...
I am glad the bloody thief considered the picture worthless, am glad he didn't take it, even if all the money was gone, I wouldn't mind, the picture was much valuable than anything else in this world...
My lips form a smile, my eyes swells up again, it gazed on the picture, her blue eyes shinning out, she looked happy for once, dad was on the opposite side, they both look great together..
it made me wonder why I haven't seen my dad after that day, after I ran out like a fool...
He was my own, my family..My mind screams to me, as I could feel it, it was guilt and it spread just like a virus, it came flushing through me...
I would have to see him, I tell myself, but yet again, I rethink, the thought of stepping into that house alone gave me shivers....
You would never unite with your dad...It yells, it mocks me, my mind does, but yet again, it was all true, my mind was right...
Stepping into that house would never be possible, it was obvious, he lives there, I would see him, the light eyes man I had lost my entire soul too, he lives there, If I go, i would see him, I would see Charlie
Never!...
I yelled out, my eyes shaky again, I close it shut, I do not want to be reminded, it would give me pain again, it would break me...
Seeing him again would shatter me completely, I can't afford to do that, Never!...
My eyes opens again, I watch it wander a little, before slowly drifting back to the picture yet again...
My lips curved, I watch it forming a sad smile
Indeed they were perfect, he loved her, there was no doubt in that...
My lips, I felt again, the smile was gone, it faded...
I rethink again, in this life nothing good was ever bound to last long, nothing!..
Sometimes unfortunately, but they?, they caused it all, those monsters did, they ruined her entire life, they ruined my dad's, they ruined everything, nothing was spared....
I shifted my eyes away from the picture, putting it into my skirt pocket now, it was for the best, I do not want to feel this pain again, I have had enough of tears for a day, not anymore...
I stare at my reflection in the mirror, it was a mess, I was a mess...
"Enough now" My heart tells me, as I splatter the cool water on my face...
Staring at my reflection once again, it was gone, the tears, the makeup, everything was all gone now. My face was empty.
I cared less, all I wanted was for it to be all gone, don't even care what people would say of me, never on earth would I let aunt put heavy makeup on me ever again...
I swear to myself, my eyes drifting down once again, it looks into the bag, all the clues were still there, not one was gone or torn. I let out a deep breath, as I finally adjusted the bag tightly...
it was crossed sideways across my body, it would never leave me now, my mind assures me, my head nodding, I heaved a sigh, as I watch my eyes, it finally wanders away from the mirror, from my stressed reflection at last....
"I would have to get home now" My head clicks, my mind telling me the obvious, I held onto the bag a little more tighter...
Heaving another sigh, my eyes wanders away, it stares at the door within arms reach, just a few meter and I would be gone finally from this bathroom and soon from this mad school...
My mind tells me, as I watch my legs, it finally moved...
......
"Would you call me"....
"It depends if you'd be a good toy"....
......
My ears trying to process everything I just heard, my leg stops....
My eyes wanders, it moves towards the direction of the sound, I am in no control anymore....
It was coming right from the bathroom, how could I have not notice it all along...
I question my irked self, it was obvious what they were doing there, it was disgusting, they were disgusting...
My mind spat out, it made my blood boiled so much, yet I do not know why...
Maybe it was because I knew that the girl was gullible and the boy, sounded like a complete player...
It was obvious he was using her, she should have known, he would leave her soon, she would be heartbroken, she might have probably love him.
The fool would leave her and she would end up becoming like me...
"Heartbroken!....
All this thoughts kept eating me up, slowly it kept drowning me, my soul's boiling with rage, but my mind tells me to mind my business...
To leave like I heard nothing, it tells me to go home, yet my rage doesn't want to me to listen, I do not want to leave, I can't stand this disgusting act, I would stop it now...
My burning heart yells, as I could feel my fist, it clenches with rage, I am in no control now...
My legs walks to the door, the voices becoming more audible with every step I took, yet I did not stop for once...
My angry hands finally reaching the handle, it grabs it, it yanks it open, my eyes wandering inside, it widens, my hand drops the bag ..
I should have knew....