...
"All I want is for you to be fine" My lips finally tells her, it finally confess my heart out..
If there was anything I've learnt from the whole shitty hell experience throughout the last few months, was that, I would never hold back again...
My heart would confess everything I have to say, not anymore, would I keep all my emotions and feelings to myself, not anymore..
My eyes drifting back into her eyes, I watch her lips slowly forming a smile. It was obvious, she said something, but I was too lost to hear her speak...
My lips trying to let out a smile, my eyes watch her, as she brought me closer to herself...
Eyebrows arching up, but still my lips remained shut, I said nothing, as I watch her maroon red lips slowly pressing on my forehead...
It was a kiss, she gave me, yet my lips remained shut, I spoke nothing, this was the first time in forever..
My eyes piercing deep, it watch her slowly backing away at last...
Her eyes meeting mine, her lips parted once again...
"Promise me you'd take care of yourself" Her voice echoing, her eyes still glued to mine...
"You will find the bag, I know you will" She encourages, her lips letting out a cheerful smile, I couldn't be more grateful than this...
"Go home now" My lips finally speak, I tell her, as I watch her, as she nods her head up and down like a six year old..
I try suppressing the smile for forming round my lips, cause I knew she intentionally did that...
"C'mon leave now" I shoo her away, as I watch the cheerful smile on her face spread wider,
"Yes Madame Moselle" She jests, nods her head again, before finally moving back, slowly I watch her legs turn back, fading into thin air, I watch...
She was finally gone, letting out a deep breath, my mind tells me the obvious, as I watch my eyes, it slowly drifted up back to the mighty school...
I know not where to begin the search, neither do I know where on earth it could be...
Either way, I won't rest till I find it, I won't give up, I would never..
....
I was wearing snickers now, they were the tennis that I found in a disarray classroom, luckily, they were just the perfect fit...
The heels was gone, I ditch them long ago, I was no feminine female, they were hell, the heels were and it made me think, how the fucking hell those girls were putting up with them...
I mean just two hours, two stupid hours, my feet were already broken, they just couldn't stand that hell of fashion any longer. No way!...
I refuse to be slave to the madness they call fashion, I refuse to partake in wearing such uncomfortable shoes any longer, not ever would I do that again...
I promised myself, as I kept on moving, my feet crying for mercy, it cries for help, it hurts me, but no I dare not stop now, I would have to find it, the bag, at all cost...
My eyes everywhere, it searched through the mad hall, everywhere was in disarray, it was a total mess, it was a mad school.
Everyone had gone wild, they had gone mad, it was too obvious to see, it made me think again...
Who knew I wasn't the only one that dreamt of this pathetic graduation to finally arrive...
With the look of everything around here, it was clear I wasn't. Everyone wanted to leave, to start their new lives, they probably have dreams and ambitions, they probably have aspirations, they all had a life...
High hopes and dreams, they all have, all of them did, except for me...
Seeking revenge was the only thing I considered my life, after all they did to make my mom commits the unsayable, to commit suicide, I'd be a fool to let them go scot free...
It was my number one priority, every other thing comes after, that's if I even live...
After seeking revenge, I want to die along with them, those bloody bastards, I want to kill them and myself as well...
Let all perish, let all go down together..
I got no life, I really don't want to stay, when I know life is not worth it, it's not worth living...
Everything would pass away not today, not tomorrow, but one day, very soon...
Everyone would die some day, I do not want to wait for the some day, I want to have peace now, I want leave everything behind...
The one that I had thought would be the one to make me stay, the one I love, I abandon, the demon made me do it...
He holds my hand, hands me the knife, and watch me stab myself, my teary blood flows down, he laughs.
I hate you, Ryan...
My heart tries to find it way out of my chest, it tries, it wants to free itself, it wants to scream out loud, all the burning hate I have for that bastard. The hatred, it would never quench, Never!...
My fist slowly releasing, I try to shake off all the bad raging thoughts I have up in my head, it tries to forget them all, for now...
"Focus" I tell my inner demon, as my eyes slowly drifted back again, to resume it's job of searching...
My eyes wanders everywhere, but in each class I entered, I came out unsuccessful, I found nothing...
I failed!.
I tried holding my heart, but it was too late, I knew it was failing now and I would become weak again, there's nothing I can do ...
My mind whispers to me, it mocks me, as I could feel my legs finally losing it, it falls, I falled, but did nothing to save myself from the fall...
On my helpless feet I laid, my cheeks becoming wet, I knew it was back again, the useless tears, It was back. Guess I couldn't stand a day without shedding this useless things...
"Some mad man must have stolen it" I whispers to my lonely self, my pathetic crying voice echoing through the silent halls, I felt worst, it made it all worst, it added salt in my fresh wounds...
"Why the fuck would I leave the picture in there" I argue with myself, I yell, scream, cry, but it was useless, I'd be a fool, if I didn't knew too well..
The perfectly pretty eyes that was forcefully make-up with deep dark colors, was already getting swelled up once again...
The makeup was wiping away, I was looking like a hideous monster, I would run from myself if I could, but no, this was the broken me...
The hideous Ivy Hathway....
"No, I would have to fix this" My faded voice called out, it was a nothing more than a whisper... I whispered to myself, as I tried wiping the tears away, but no, this was just so shitty...
The more I wipe the tears, the more my hand becomes black with the fucking dark make-up...
My fist clenching with anger, I watch my frustrated lips parting yet again...
"Curse you modern make-up, curse you fucking fashion, curse you all"....
My lips spats out, it spoke of the rage in my heart, there was no way I could withhold myself back, my raging lips would never agree with me on that, never would it...
I found my legs, it moved on its own, I was in no control anymore, all I wanted was to clear the hideous make-up away, at least that would ease my failure a bit...
I've already lost the bag, getting rid of this shit would cool me down, at least for a bit...
I tell myself, as I watch my legs, gradually, it eventually reached the one place I had despised most, back when I was still a loser student...
The damn female's bathroom...
Gush!..
My lips utters, it irks me, the sight of that scum bathroom irked me so much, but yet again, I had long ran out of choices....
My legs taking it first step, it finally enters at last, heaving a deep sigh, I finally walk in, into the hell bathroom...
My eyes widens, it caught something, it doesn't want to look away....