Chereads / Alliance Out of Regret / Chapter 41 - Letter

Chapter 41 - Letter

Next morning,

Loading my bags in the carriage which is sent by The Dhakun just a while ago I kept stealing glances at the door to see if any one of them are coming. I didn't have many things to take with me as nothing here belonged to me from the start. A sigh left my mouth, I saw the head maid standing in front of me with teary eyes. She wiped off her tears and put on a warm smile before speaking, '' Young Lady, You have to grow up as a fine lady.'' My heart clenched at the same time felt warm hearing her words, hugging her tightly my emotions were on the verge to burst out but I held them back and said, '' I will become the finest lady in the Empire one day. and you have to live long to see me like that.'' She patted my back and nodded, '' I am looking forward to that day, Young Lady.'' One of the servants came and informed me about the fact of my carriage being loaded. I broke the hug and once again looked at the empty doorstep. I bite my lower lip to control my tears. What was I even expecting? They never saw me as a family no way they will come to see me one last time. It's good that way. They will get their respective letters the moment I leave the Capital and cross the border that separates Dhakun from the rest of the Empire.

'' Are you looking for the Grand Duke and others?'' She asked me. I smiled softly and took off the hairband, Vivian gifted me for the first time, making my hair fall under my shoulder. I threw off the hairband on the ground and looked at the mansion and said,

'' I have given up on both my surname as Casvoner and the members of this family. From here, I am no longer shackled by anything and I will fly higher than they could ever imagine.''

Getting in the carriage I closed off the curtain and ordered the driver, '' Let's Go To Dhakun.'' The carriage started and took a deep breath to calm my mind. I clenched my fist and mumbled, '' It's over Valentiara. Finally, over after everything, they don't care so don't cry for them either.'' Will they feel guilty or remorseful after reading my letter? That's not my business any longer, '' I am letting go of the last piece of hope I was holding in my heart. Welcome to a whole new world, Valentiara.''

Freedom, did you always feel this way? I wonder why it's painful.

THIRD PERSON POV

GRAND DUCHY CASVONER,

Valentine was checking the official paperwork in his room. He didn't go to bid Valentiara goodbye even though he was awake. And to take off his mind from her, he decided to bury himself under the paperwork. While busy he was doing that, a white bird flew inside his room. Valentine frowned seeing such an unfamiliar bird in his room. He was about to shoo it but something caught his eye. The white bird didn't look like any usual bird, it had pink eyes mixed with a golden color and was holding a letter using its beak. Valentine took that letter and that bird flew out instantly.

'' A bird as a messenger? Who did this?'' Being curious he opened the letter and his heart strung reading the first line in the letter,

' Dear Father/Grand Duke Valentine,

If you are reading this that means I have left the capital and entered Dhakun's territory by then. From where should I start, I have so many things to ask you and so much to tell you but have no idea where to start from. Do you remember the first time you met me? I was 10 years old back then, living a life that isn't as comfortable as the Grand Duchy but not too bad either. After losing mom 2 years before that I thought I don't have any family left in the world. Apparently, on a fall afternoon, a man knocked on my door telling me my father wants to meet me. Me being innocent and thinking that I am not alone in the world, God isn't cruel to me after all, HE didn't leave me alone in the end. But if I knew what I will go through after meeting you and getting in touch with the members of the Casvoner family, I won't have followed that man to meet you that day.

When I first saw you standing in front of Mom's tomb in the garden with teary eyes I wondered if you loved Mom then why you never came to meet us. Mom used to say my father is a great, strong, handsome man but he was really busy to be with us. I wanted to believe that after meeting you too but after you looked at me first time, there were traces of detest in your eyes. You called my name coldly which didn't have any single emotion in them. I was intimidated by your presence but I still had a hope that maybe we never spent time that's why you were like this. I wanted to trust Mom's words, I wanted to believe that I have a family too, I wanted to believe I have a father too but look at us even after 4 years you never once patted my head as you pat Valmud's, never called my name lovingly the as you call Vivian's, never complimented me as Waren.

Honestly, the moment I stepped inside the Grand Duchy, I knew that you will never love me like you love them. I was broken when I saw you gifting Waren, Valmud, and Vivian anything they wanted, I was hurt when I saw Vivian hugging you, I was hurt when I saw you laughing with Valmud, I was hurt when I saw you showing your utmost trust on Waren. A sense of resentment started growing inside me toward them and I ignored their warm-hearted behavior. But one day I thought maybe if I change our relationship will change too, I was too optimistic about that but you know, Waren ignored my presence from the moment you told him to without even thinking about my feeling. Valmud and Vivian turned out to them as nothing less than an interesting wild pet which is different from other pets of theirs.

Grand Duke Valentine, you said I shouldn't be family with you and your children then why did you even take me here? Why did you let me know how lonely and unfortunately alone I am with none to support me? If you hated me, why didn't you act like I am an air?

I am going away from you, from your family, and from everything that belongs to you to create something that belongs to me. If I say I wish you ultimate happiness, I don't know how much of it will be truthful but I want to be honest for the very last time with you as your abandoned daughter.

Dad, Even after all this time, respect you and I was the happiest when you came to take me though I hate you as much as I loved you.

I am sorry for everything so far, you or your children won't be harmed because of me. Therefore, Take this a goodbye from Valentiara Casvoner because the next time you see me you will meet Valentiara who is an orphan under the sky.

From, Your Daughter,

Valentiara Casvoner.''

Valentine hugged the letter tightly and started crying. He didn't know hearing Valentiara's actual emotions, pain and loneliness would hurt him like that. The daughter whose existence is a curse on the land, whom he saw as a monster was just a little girl who craved little warmth. He realized why Izaak said he will regret protecting everything but Valentiara. After all, that child had the purest form of love to spread but he choose to turn blind to that. His sobbing only got hard with the passing of time. Somewhere in his heart he knew, there will be a time when he would regret not even trying but he choose to be selfish.

But can he blame anyone else but himself?