"Am I dead?" I spoke, my voice quivering, muffled like I was underwater. I could barely hear myself, yet the figures in front of me seem to hear me just fine.
"Not quite dear," spoke the woman in Victorian clothing.
"Your human body is dead yes - but you're very much alive in the spirit," said the old businessman - with what I can only describe as a 2004 New York accent.
"Homie - Bro - Bestie - Choomba " spoke the man with eye implants.
Taking a closer inspection, they looked more like advanced versions of virtual reality goggles.
Almost like they were surgically implanted in him.
Definitely, the lanky man was supposed to represent the future.
He wore a shiny silver jacket and black harem pants.
The jacket had a second color underneath, almost like a neon rainbow that reflected the light.
"Choomba?" I asked not sure what he meant.
"You wouldn't get it, it's slang from the future," the lanky man spoke again. Everyone else looked at him in annoyance, I guessed he was hated by the other two.
"Look choo," he continued.
"You got hit by a big truck because you were trying to do the right and save a stranger from danger, your body died, and now you're in spirit form, thousands of light-years from Earth."
"As much as I hate him, he's right," spoke the middle age businessman.
"We're the - let's say patrons of this simulation, right now our bodies are highly attuned to KBF47," said the lady in Victorian clothing.
"What's that?" I asked.
"You know how the earth has a geomagnetic sphere that acts as a sort of force field, protecting itself from solar flares and stuff," spoke the businessman. I cocked my head, I was having a hard time keeping up. The lanky man crossed his legs. The Victorian woman looked at me like I was her pet.
"Uhhh - Think of radio waves and how they're transmitted throughout the planet, invisibly, through the air," the businessman kept explaining.
"I guess…" I pretended to understand what they were talking about.
"Like with gravity?" I asked, still grasping at straws.
"KBF47 is a massive geomagnetic energy of this universe, right now all of us are attuned to it and thus can meet with you in spirit form," spoke the cyberpunk future guy.
"So you're all attuned to energy produced by gravity? All of you are alive, in different periods?" I asked, maybe finally understanding.
"Pretty much, when you ascend a dimension from the third, time doesn't exist anymore," the lanky guy kept speaking.
"We're not in the fourth dimension though, you'd need a special permit from the higher-ups to go there - think of this space as a 3.5D. The only thing that we took out is time. We then created this pocket dimension to commune with you," said the Victorian lady.
"I guess that makes sense," I spoke, still not sure if it did.
"Don't worry too much about that right now, although if you want to ask more questions about any of this, we'd be more than happy to answer them," spoke the businessman.
"So where are you right now, are you here, or on earth," I asked.
"All of us are back on earth," spoke the lanky man.
"I'm pretending to rest in a large bed as my servants serve my dinner and my maids prepare my corset for my ball tonight, the year is 1865," spoke the Victorian woman.
"I'm pretending to nap at my desk job while my juniors argue about our next meeting proposal, the year is 2005," said the businessman.
"I'm pretending to rest by renting out my body to dark net hackers as they use it as a false identity to infiltrate and dive into the open meta for classified documents held secret by our totalitarian company government," said the future man. "We're doing a…" I stopped him in his tracks.
"You're doing a coop to get the company to admit their wrongdoings and adjust their policy to reflect a more emphatic and democratic network between the citizens, as you struggle to turn off an all-seeing-controlling - powerful A. I that assign points based on your mental health, the year is 3077, " the lanky man looked surprised. Everyone else did not.
"How - How did you know? Have you been to the future?" he chuckled a couple of times, not sure what to do with himself.
"We've all seen the movie," said the Victorian woman and the businessman at the same time.
There was a long pause.
"It's actually 3078 - " said the lanky man. The Victorian woman rolled her eyes.
"Are there any more questions you want to ask?" said the businessman, quickly changing topics.
"You mentioned you were patrons of this universe, what does that mean?" I asked.
"In essence, we're sort of like time-traveling vampires, we can go anywhere to any time, any place, do whatever we want, to anyone that we want," said the Victorian woman.
"Won't that affect the space-time continuum, or whatever?" I asked.
"That's not a real thing," said the businessman with a hearty laugh.
"Simulations are prepared to exploit the ultimate choice paradox, mountains of ripples are created every day. We don't worry too much about that, because everything that you did, or will do, has already been done, we just try to enjoy our seconds in the 3D, when were done, it's like we unplug from the matrix, and return to our dimension," continued the businessman.
"Now that reminds me," the old man said.
"We're supposed to gauge your life, depending on the result, is the reward we'll give you in your second reincarnation,"
"How many reincarnations do we get?" I quickly asked.
"Around nine, you know like cats," said the future lean man.
"After that - most souls reach their expiration date, and have to be thrown into a sort of cosmic washing machine, where their past lives and memories get cleaned and erased," said the Victorian woman.
"You're a fairly new soul mate," said the lanky man.
In the middle of the three figures, a balance showed up, it materialized as if it was being printed right there on the spot. Tiny cubes piled on top of one another, creating balance, it changed color to reflect as it was made of gold.
The future man stood up and came towards me. He carried me like it was nothing.
"Oi, excuse me?" I said.
"Don't worry, this won't hurt," said the future man. He placed me on one of the pedestals of the balance. On the other end a feather.
Without warning the feather crashed like it weight a ton.
"That's unexpected," said the Victorian woman, almost a little surprised.
"What, what does it mean?" I said holding on to the chains that held the balance together.
"It means you were probably a good person," said the businessman.
"Most people that come through us either weigh on par with the feather or not at all,"
"Meaning?!" I asked scared the thing was going to move again. I was several feet from the ground, even though I was a mere spirit, I still played by gravity's rule's like I was alive. I guess it hadn't hit just yet.
"That you were probably a saint on earth," said the lanky man. The Victorian woman had stood up and sat next to what looked like a fax printer, she was looking at it with earnest focus.
"You can come down now," said the future man.
"Don't worry, you'll float," he said.
I jumped off and slowly floated down to the bottom of the room. I landed with grace.
"Souls are light as a feather," said the future man.
"Yours is especially light," continued the future man, with a bright smile.
"This is exciting for us because it's the first time something like this has happened."
The machine finally stopped printing. The Victorian lady ripped the paper and started looking through it. It was long, almost like a scripture parchment, I guessed my whole life was written on it.
"Really?" I asked the future man. The businessman took a step towards us and joined us in our group.
"Humans are by nature selfish, greedy, and vicious," said the businessman. The lanky future man agrees with him.
"So you must have done something exceptionally good to get this result," said the businessman.
"Not really - I lived a pretty normal life," I said, they both looked at me dumbfounded.
"Found it!" said the Victorian woman. The other two joined her looking over her shoulders.
"You donated 40,000 USD to an organization helping LGBTQ with difficult or no living situation, that must be it, that's why…" A red light flashed across the room.
"What the - " I said
"Dammit," said the woman, she started looking again through the paper, the other two took it more earnestly as well.
"Aha!" said the future man.
"You stayed with your mom right until the moment she passed away, making sure she was comfortable and happy in her final months!" Everyone started agreeing in unison, their voices overlapping.
To add insult to injury, the red light shined again, but a wrong buzzer sound played through.
"Svoluch!" said the future man. The Victorian woman looked at him with disgust.
"Sorry-" said the future man with a hand behind his head.
The businessman still looking through the large parchment.
"Found it!" he finally said, and the two others regained interest.
"You were a doctor! What's nobler than a doctor's profession, caring for people before oneself, you're whole career is why the feather weighs more than you, that must be why…"
Once again, a red light flashed across the room, this time the sound buzzer was louder and longer.
"Ugh!" exclaimed the Victorian woman, and sat down on her couch.
"I give up!" She said, throwing the giant paper aside. The two men followed suit, letting out a big sigh.
"Maybe it's just because instead of my heart thinking bad deeds," I gained their attention.
"Most of the time, I did good things for those around me, not because I was looking for some self-aggrandizing stature, but because those thoughts - they were genuinely born through who I am as a person, and not because of the need to get other people to like me, but just because I wanted to help…" I said.
A long pause.
"Nah I don't think … " but before they could finish a green light shined through the room and a happy *you got it*, sound played.
"That's it, you got it!" said the Victorian woman, giddily she and the others quickly moved to the fax again. This time just one piece of paper was printed out.
The three of them started at it with open wide eyes.
Hmmmmmmm….
They gathered around the piece of parchment-like vultures skimming down its prey.
"What, is it bad?" I asked.
"Quite the opposite," said the future man.
"Congrats," spoke the businessman.
"This is going to be fun!" gushed the Victorian woman.
She handed me the paper, and on it, there were 4 words in big bold typography.
/// Full Reincarnation Creative Control. ///
What that meant, was exactly what I thought it did.
I got to plan my next life, right down to the smallest of detail.
I couldn't help it, a smile frowned on my face.