"So, what kind of life do you want next?" spoke the Victorian woman, optimism finally showing in her voice.
The businessman and the future man leaned in, their elbows on their knees, pressuring me to answer.
"I - don't know," I spoke. The future man gave an exasperated sigh.
"We're never going to finish," announced the future man with a retort. His words stung a little.
"Shush you - " said the Victorian woman.
"Don't mind him, he's what millennials call *man child*," pronounced the businessman.
"I AM NOT!" the future man stood with lightning speed. The other two looked at him with disgust.
"You're right I kinda am," he sat back down.
"Do you have any ideas of what you're life can be, or what you want it to be?" said the businessman.
"How about having OP magical powers, can you do that?" I asked.
"Of course we can, you wouldn't be here if we couldn't," said the Victorian woman.
"What about immortality?" I asked curiously.
"Anything you want bud," said the future man.
"There's actually a vacancy for godhood, you want it? The other guy sort of fell asleep," the future man retorted.
"There is one point I failed to mention," said the Victorian woman. Ignoring the future man's plight.
"What?!" said the businessman and the future one.
"You were never happy." she pronounced in a small voice.
"Tsk," I smacked my lips in disbelief. "I was happy...."
"Not according to your records," she pulled out the long fax parchment from the back of her seat.
"It says here you were heavily depressed and pushed it back through your job, you had relationships but never found *the one*. You, in essence, were never truly 100% just blissfully happy."
I looked away, my face showing red.
"Hey don't worry - in the future relationships don't exist anymore, and rich people jack off to a machine that incubates babies for them, neat huh!"
"That sounds like a trans-humanism nightmare," I said.
"No - No, it's -" The future man paused.
"Yeah you're right it sort of is, people who want to have children by natural means are prosecuted and have their children 'liquidated'," he made an exaggerated motion with his hand, across his throat.
"Then they send the transgressors to the lower cities, where they get their - reproductive junk taken out. Both men and women."
"Neat, huh?" said the Victorian lady who had been paying attention to all of that.
"But back to you dear," said the future man. The businessman took a sigh.
"So about this relationship, what is your ideal partner," the Victorian woman leaned in with curiosity. "Tell me about your ideal woman."
"Actually - " I said.
"Oh - Heaven's! - So sorry! Hey no judgment, sexuality doesn't exist in the 4D, we just commune with whoever resonates with our souls," said the businessman. Weird words coming out of an old geezer.
"It's like having sex through sound - sort of hard to explain," the businessman continued.
"So? What's your ideal man then?" the Victorian woman kept pouncing.
"I guess - he has to be extroverted, but not so much it exhausting." The future man was taking notes on a hover screen that had just popped into existence.
"I would rather he had muscles, the more the merrier actually - and a gorgeous smile. He has to be handsome as well. I want him to love me, I want him to give me his heart first," the Victorian woman smiled tentatively. The businessman smiled naively.
"I want him to only look at me and be himself around me, but be the light of the party when I'm not looking, I want him to exchange glances at me when he's in a crowd, reassuring me I'm still his only one, I don't know - is that too much to ask?" I finally stopped speaking.
"Not at all, remember this is your new life," said the businessman.
"Is there anything else you'd like to experience?" said the future man.
"Anything at all," said the Victorian woman.
"Well I was thinking about it, and I think I'd rather not plan it at all," I said, maybe a bad decision on my part.
"How come? You have this immense opportunity, yet you're willing to cast it off, what for?" said the Victorian woman.
"Well the good part about life, is its unpredictability," I said, a cheap smile creeping in.
The future man pressed a button on his holo screen, and it sent off like an e-mail. It came back with a solution, he forward it to the rest of the team with a simple swipe of his fingers.
"We could do that," he said.
"Oh THAT," said the Victorian woman.
"I'd forgotten that existed," said the businessman.
"It fits perfectly if I must say so myself," the future man spoke with confidence.
"It does, doesn't it," the Victorian woman spoke softly.
"You're agreeing with him, that's a first," said the businessman.
"What - What do you mean, *that*," I asked.
"Don't worry about it just yet," said the future man.
"However, we would be breaking a 100-year-old accord," said the Victorian woman.
"Who cares," said the future man. "We're not breaking any rules."
"So?" I asked.
They took a pause and looked at me, then at each other, and they just nodded.
"Well, basically we would be reincarnating you into an all-powerful, might I add, immortal, race of slimes," said the future man with a little hesitation, trailing off in the last words. "You'd have a human form though."
"Slimes?! Like video game slimes? Like Flounder?" I asked.
"Nah - Nah - Nah - More of the DQ variety," said the future man.
"They're a little different than those you're accustomed to, but yes, in essence," said the businessman.
"You'd get everything you wanted, you'd be super OP, and start with almost perfect stats," the screen started showing up in my vision. Everything was higher than 20.
"You'd be immortal, and we can make sure to put you in harm's way of that hunk you'd been looking for."
"Wait - Wait, how are slimes real?"
"Lots of things in fiction are reality," said the businessman.
"Ideas you humans call 'original', are all thought by a cosmic consciousness that has had and will have every thought to have ever been thought. It's been there for thousands of years, you just never bothered to look at it. It outputs everything to the simulation, humans are just on a feedback loop with it, accessing it through what they call flow," the businessman said all of this with a quiet demeanor. No one contradicted him.
"What about Lovecraft?"
"If by that you mean the Chutulu Mythos, then yes, very real, except the part about them being old ones, they're a mere advance race of cephalopods at best,"
"You know the man had an abnormal primordial gland and produced vast amounts of DMT inside his brain, he saw them in flesh and blood," spoke the future man.
"What about Beksiński or Giger," I said; curious to know.
"Ah- Ah- Ah, I'm going to stop your right there," said the Victorian woman.
"But - "
"Somethings are better if you don't know," said the future man.
"You have quite the taste," said the businessman.
"So how about it, you ready for reincarnation, our time is almost up - "Without saying another word the businessman and the Victorian woman parsed out of existence.
"Where they go?" I asked the future man.
"Back to their bodies in their respective times," Now that they were gone the future man spoke with a soft tone to his voice.
"You ready then? I'll be your escort to your new life." The future man spread out his hand, I took it, not thinking things through. This was it, the contract had been sealed. I was bound for reincarnation.
The walls of the room started to fall, behind them, vast amounts of space all around me, galaxies, planets, and stars all dancing in their cosmic heavenly dance.
"We were in space all this time,"
"Don't worry, we're basically in the middle of nowhere, this is sort of like the rural part of space, no one comes here," he said without so much of a beat. "So you ready?" he said.
"Let's do this!" I confirmed.