"The journey was lengthy, I suppose, but my thoughts were so much in action that I saw the journey as a symbolization of blinking. Amir had stated the words quite clearly; my clothes and items had all been set onto the carriage, and I was set to return to the hotel, and now live the life I always had. The pianist's life, maybe—something of that sort. Sometimes, there was always a turn when it came to this life with which I drove; it always seemed that something would make sure that a curtained turn would happen. However, this life, my life, seemed to have another driver, another cause; it was always me following that course.
"Where are my items?" I questioned, right after Amir and I were welcomed in the hotel.
"It has all been put in your room; your room shall be number five hundred and six," the man next to us stated.
This place seemed to have reached some other level of civilization. Back home, only royalties had hotels; otherwise, hotels were for foreigners. It was one staying with a friend and so on, but there was one, one which was in my hometown that father had built when I was entering my teenage years. He wanted it to attract as many visitors as possible, for the sake of the government getting some amount from them. He was the Duke, after all; I always keep forgetting that.
After arrival, we were taken to have some dinner. As Amir left to be shown his room, then I left to my room, that which I was told belonged to me. It was well-set, one bed, and had the lavishness. Of course, I had ideas about these rooms; I bet Amir had stated that I be put in the best of the rooms and be made sure that I live a good life and comfortable one. The bathtub was full, with scented flowers for my bath; it almost felt like back in Amir's palace—the bathing; I shall miss it for sure. Home bath was normal; all one just did was request for hot water and the rest you shall do it for yourself.
So, on arrival inside the cozy room, I first lay my head on the big cozy bed. It had a really dense mattress and cotton-made blankets. I laid and looked up, observing the ceiling as I just reviewed what was really happening. 'It was really happening. Life was really happening,' I told myself. I hated sometimes being alone, thinking about my life and the possibilities of what I should have done and what I did. The main reason I requested to come here was for one thing: to have a speech with Ezron. Sometimes I even asked myself questions like, why did I run? Why wouldn't I just let myself die? But these all turned to just questions, which no one really seemed to have a good nor better answer for the same; it was me who should have all answers.
"Bro..., Bro...!" The knocking on my door woke me up. I don't know when I shifted to sleep, but it is something that ends up happening when I contemplate on my life and try to compare it with other men who happen to be my size or with whom we have grown and read together. They all seem to have really clicked and aligned well with their lives."
"Yes, how can I assist you?" I stated as I hurried to open the door. "Ezron, do you really have to shout as much? I thought there is some fire inside the hotel."
"You, you, met. Did you two?" Ezron started, out of breath, and I seemed to just wait and hear all he had to say. He seemed to have come from quite far, as the state he was in, as if he was being chased by someone.
"What do you mean?" I asked again, after I saw his strength and breathing procedure were coming back to normal.
"Did you meet a dark man, with some funny character?" Ezron asked, his eyes steady on me.
"In the palace, yes… why?"
"What is it? What did he say?" Ezron asked, with his deep English accent ceasing to show up.
"Not much," I stated, but how I wish I could tell him that the man told me that he was the reason. What am I saying? He was meant to protect me all through.
"We should leave, or they shall find us," he stated again now, worry seeming to take root in his eyes.
"What do you mean? Who is trying to find me, us, that is?" I asked.
"You don't understand. How will you understand, brother? They know that you sought shelter in the palace. They know that you had a talking with the princess. You were supposed to hide your tracks; it seemed you did not have an understanding that you were running from people," he stated in a rather worrisome and warning tone.
"I am no longer young. I shall face my fears, and death is what's destined for me. I shall face it," I stated, and I knew this caught Ezron by surprise judging from the face he made. But all I said was true. It was time I went back home; it was time I faced who I was. It was time I saw what I am. How horrible could this get? How horrible would being a bastard be to me? I never caused the sin, but if I am to pay for the sin, well then I take my cause and accept everything. If death is the punishment for my life, why not face it? How long, how many days, how many years will I run? When will I finally live a life without running from who I am? I was called a coward by Amir. I know his words were the reason for this bravery. His words cut deeper than a sharpened knife would ever. I felt more of a disgrace to my mother, who faced the fears of pregnancy not being betrothed, alone, utterly alone. I felt a disgrace to her, and well, I shall make her proud. If her pride in me does not come on account of facing who I am, then I shall make myself proud by knowing at least I fought what I was. I faced who society had made me be. How I wish society had even the littlest sympathy towards me. How I wish, how I wish.
"You wish not to leave?" Ezron stated, in a rather calm tone.
"Yes, I actually plan to go back home," I stated, and Ezron scratched his hair.
"You can't go back, it's dangerous," he stated.
"How more dangerous can it get?" I asked.
"You have no one in which to have you there; the king neither acknowledges you as his son, the viscount has no wanting for you, despite knowing you are his sister's son. Where do you think your course lays?"
"We never run away from destinies, brother. This was mine; I sure won't run away from it," I stated.
"Okay, but I shall not be on your back as the world slaughters you," he stated.
"The world slaughtered me before I was born. Why am I to fear when finally I can face the knife?" I stated. "What is it about the dark man?" I added.
"It's nothing of importance; you have already chosen your course."
"Ezron, he told me you had something to do with Armstrong. What is it that you did not convey to me?" I asked, my eyes sharp on him.
"What is it that he said?" he asked, not daring to look at me. I just hoped that the truth he has would make me remain calm; I just hoped he would not kill me with the truth that he would say at this hour and moment.
"He stated you were hired to act as a protector and guard," I stated.
"What do you want me to say?" He asked, now finding his way to the chair, and it was then I realized how tired of standing my legs had become, and so I followed and sat on the table.
"What is it you have to share, that which you never told?" I stated clearly.
"Well, I knew I was in the wrong, having you all along and just seeing how lost you are, yeah, but that was something I had no choice," he stated.
"And what is that?"
"They paid me; they stated they'd settle all my mother's debts and make sure she lives lavishly if I accepted your offer," he stated.
"But it was you who told me Armstrong's area is dangerous?" I stated, remembering vividly that day we left.
"Well, did I?" He asked. And that's when I came to realize he was also not being really real with me; he was still hiding something, that which I wasn't sure. But whatever it was, I'm sure it's something to do with Armstrong.
"Who were those men you walked along with that night?" I asked, "the night when I met your ma," I stated.
"Friends. The idea was to have you leave with one of us, but I chose to take the bait, as I had more weight on me than the rest. At least that would make her proud of me for once."
"Didn't you ever want to tell me?" I asked, wondering how he could keep such an amazing secret, how amazing, all along I had told him all my secrets, almost openly telling him about my fantasies with women.
"I thought of, but I just couldn't. I was mad when you chose to leave for the palace; it would not be easy for me to monitor people and everyone surrounding you," he stated.
"Much welcomed, brother. I took you like an equal," I stated.
"It was not a choice I had," he stated.
"Of course, you had… you should have told me right when I was leaving that Armstrong seeks you as my monitor or bodyguard. Is that what being loyal to a friend means? How do you want me to take it? Well, do you want me to tell you did a great job? Well, you did; we went through the paths easily, yeah, but all along I was nothing but a lower being to you, not any more than an equal. How am I now to live with the fact that you of all people was meant to be a protector to me when all along I saw a brother and family?"
"I proved my point; you shall tell when you want to leave. My duty is to protect you, at least now you know. I shall be the one to give you out to the Duke," he stated, and with that, he just stood and left.