Someone can term this teenage love, a desire for fulfillment or pleasure, but in real sense and consideration, I also did not quite understand the feelings I showcased inside me in regard to the princess. Right now, I am sitting on my mother's stone, maybe refreshing and rethinking this thing, this life am set to have.
After leaving the palace, I remember making the last glance at the princess's face, a little glance, maybe to acknowledge that she somehow wasn't hurt, but she was. Her eyes watered on my leaving, her face clenched, and I felt my body and legs yearn to go back and give her the tightest hug I would ever give, but I knew it was all wrong. The princess might have been my sister or not, but the fact remained that she, being in that palace, and I, being a nobody near this lake, would never fulfill her wants. Isn't a man supposed to provide the best for his wife?
My mother's stone was quite lavish and shiny, even after all the years I had forgotten to visit. Thirteen was the last day I visited, but it still looked good, despite the many leaves and dirt that had collected on the top. I took time to clean them with the aid of one of the guards provided for me, then shoved some flowers on top and just looked at them. In my mind, I stated, as if telling her, "They call you Lady Isla, and I am supposed to call you Maa." I am now grown, as you can see, but our sins are still ingrained in me. I will surpass this, but I don't know how. I've been thinking of growing my beard and hair, but I'm still young. My moustache is hairier now, and my side beard's hairs are streamlined perfectly—an improvement, if I may say. Well, this is not a conversation I should have with you, but who else can I tell other than you? The last time I remember, I told you about Lady Catherine, the young girl my father warned me about (laughing in my head), but my father is quite weird sometimes; imagine he made me stop my interactions alone with my sister. Anyway, I just arrived in London and fell in love. I don't know if this is how you felt with father, but for me, this was different. I see her in my dreams; I see her everywhere, and everything I do still revolves around her. Well, maybe this is teenage love; I don't know, but it still hurts.' After realizing all this was in my head, I decided to just speak it aloud so that maybe she could hear it or the universe or anywhere else that could maybe tell her it's me: "You see, she has perfections that so; I am sure heaven took the greatest times in her complexions. However, despite my utterances and wants, I can't make her happy. She is a princess, and if even what Lady Elizabeth said were to be true, then I would still never call her one who deserve me, but nothing makes it worse than the fact that I was the one who approached, one who asked for a dance, and one who left without talking to her. Maybe I should find ways to talk to her. To at least tell her, maybe, anything. I don't know what to do." "And what are you going to say?" Words interrupted me from the back, and I would lie if I did not stutter to maybe run because the sense was this was a cemetery and ghosts were still live in action, as far as the stories our father always told us while we were young. Looking back, it was Lady Elizabeth, steady and elegantly smiling while walking towards the place I sat. "Oh, boy. I had doubts, but now I have none." She stated after arriving and watching the stone, the flowers, and my face that tears had started forming as I rethought and expressed my sorrows. "Lady Elizabeth." I stood as fast as I could, wiping off some dust that would have formed on my hands, and with the best bow, I took out my hand to offer the lady my greetings. She did not decline, however; that's lucky, but she carefully looked at me, as if studying me. Different from how he did during the moment we were at the ball, and then she stated, "I wish she were alive as much as you do. This life was never meant to be yours." With that, she requested that I follow her, and we left for the house. I was set to stay. The house was quite deserted; it was the one in which I used to play, the one in which my father used to stay before being a duke, and the one in which he carries out businesses during the week in cases where he is out of town. It is a second duke's home, if I may say so.
As stated, the place was quite alienated. The servants were minimal, and most of the food taken was bought from the nearest bar and food centers. So, on arrival, I did not quite understand what to offer the dearest lady on my side, so I asked. "What is your specialty, my lady? The journey might have been tiresome, the guards are quite minimal, and the food is from the hotel nearby. It is well cooked, there are no overused oils, and its rating is quite five stars as far as I can remember." The lady, as I was talking, was just smiling, as if admiring what I was saying, and then stated, "How about we go there and take it there?" The place was dangerous, especially for a royal like her. "I am afraid it might not be of amusement for you as it is on my terms." She just smiled and started walking outside as the two guards who accompanied us opened the carriage doors for her. I knew the place was quite dangerous. Father used to participate in fights in the underground basement of the area, and sometimes ill-mannered drunkards would go up where the hotel was and, in some way, try harassing the ladies there. I was quite aware of this, for father used to most often bring me there to learn some techniques. However, in regard to the food, it showcased the best delicacies of London's flavors. I had already joined Lady Elizabeth inside the carriage and, with me, carried a knife on my side in case someone tried to harass her, especially in relation to her elegancy and the fact that night had already showcased and only flower sellers dared walk in the nights.
"Opposite the Havy Club." I stated. The carriage stopped, and I immediately, like a guard, went down as fast as I could to help the lady on my watch down. My then priority was to protect the lady, for I did not know how good or bad the place had turned out. We entered the area, Lady Elizabeth's hands entangled in mine like a mother and her son. I would love to explain. The hotel had not quite changed since the last time I came. It was still set on the upstairs, and downstairs, screams could not help but be heard when Lady Elizabeth whispered in my ear, "And what the hell, is this place, boy?" Honestly, whenever Lady Elizabeth spoke to me, I felt a different side of me showcase, that of 'guarding, or on watch." She made me feel like someone who understood me, and the fact that she knew my mother made it even easier to trust her. "Vikings!" One of the boys at the cashier's table shouted towards me, which made the lady stutter like an afraid chameleon. "Hey, brother. How are you doing? Long time." I replied back in a rather moderate tone as I set the table for Lady Catherine to sit, and one of the waiters approached us. A young lady in her twenties. Maybe she was the daughter of the owner of this place. For as long as I remember, when I was young, we used to be placed together in fight zones with a certain girl who would honestly beat me up. "What's your order, sir?" She stated. "What are your delicacies?" Lady Elizabeth asked before I set myself to answer. "The menu is dictated on the board, madam (pointing at the board, placed on the front wall, with foods written in the biggest, most readable handwriting ever.) After checking the board quietly, Lady Elizabeth stated that she should have her wanted nicety, and I approved of having it too. After the waitress left, I heard Lady Elizabeth state in a low tone, "The hotel is not as bad as I thought." That made me chuckle, and then I added, "It's been long since I've ever been here. The last time was when I was about thirteen, after visiting Ma's stone. I came here to watch a wrestling game."
"You wrestle?"
"Yeah, I quite used to when I was young. I would participate in childhood fights. However, that was when I was here. When I left, father just made me practice but never let me fight." The lady seemed to quite accept my statements as the waitress arrived, followed by the cashier who had called me earlier. She steadily put our orders on the table set and quietly stated, "Enjoy." She was the shy type, I may say, for she left right when my eyes met hers. I just felt it weird; I had never experienced such an action from a girl before. Anyway, how would I know, and all my experiences were in relation to ball dances? "Vikings. I see you have quite grown." The gentleman stated this in a rather firm tone. I just smiled at that, for I did not want any more conversations, especially with Lady Elizabeth by my side. It would a little end in some sharing of beers and drinks, and I had decided not to indulge myself in any drink until what I had done when I was thirteen after getting lit. God forgive me. That's something only heaven shall share the secret of, not me, not even to you, my reader. Lady Catherine seemed to enjoy the meal to my satisfaction, and on finishing, we were set to leave when one of the men in the hotel gave us a small, handwritten receipt. "No leaving without a win. Rules are rules." I knew whose words they were. The owner was a fraud and a very bad imposter, other than being a good person on the outside. He always did this for people in the highest classes, and he knew our class right when we entered the area. My eyes became more alert, and I knew I was ready to fight with anyone in consideration of the fact that someone deserved the protection of my sight. I was a man," were the words I told myself. "What does he mean?" Lady Elizabeth asked, worry expressed on her quite childish face. "Some rules." I stated. I had not been here for a lengthy period of time, so whatever was to happen was opposite from my expectations, or maybe I expected it. I went straight to the cashier man, hand in hand with Lady Elizabeth, and stated, "What are the rules?" "Women should be out of this." He stated, his eyes sharp, showing no emotion. I had never fought for decades, and as far as I remember, the last fight was between William and me, and I was terribly defeated. "I haven't fought in decades, brother. How about sparing me for today, as in respect to her royalty? I will be here, as at tomorrow, in the same place, and will fight as stated." "Vikings, didn't your father teach you about the rules he himself made?" He stated that in anger, that could be seen shoving on the way his Adam's apple rose and fell rhythmically. "Loyalty and fight. Royalties and money. Fight for a royalty; get loyalty as money." I stated that. I of course knew the rules. Everything in this fight club I knew. But one thing I never understood was why my father put such weird rules in place—for loyalty, of course. That's why he was so respected. "I am unlike him, brother. C'mon. The lady is quite tired; I will pay any amounts; you can't let her see this." "Cunning and wilt. You never change, don't you Vikings?" He asked. I knew what he meant. This was a side of my father that no one knew but me. The side where he would kill for anything. The side where he would do anything just to get what he wants He always taught me the strategies, but I was always afraid of using them. As I was rethinking the statement, to which I was to return, one of the guards came as fast to us and whispered, "The king's carriage of maidens and guards has arrived." The statements were shocking, and I knew the need for our leaving was deserving at that moment. We surely needed to leave, and so I stated in a firm tone, "Tomorrow, same place. Business brother. Understand please." "She will wait for you and see how sharpened you have become. Don't make her laugh at your face, brother." I knew who would wait, and I then knew the person who had sent the receipt. I just looked back and, in a non-smiley face, just nodded, "She sure had gotten better. She always beat me. I have to practice tomorrow before evening, or else I will have shamed my father's name.' We left as I thought about that. My mind had not even once thought about the reason Lady Elizabeth was here. Maybe it should, or maybe not; I don't know. At least I had a mother figure on my side. Someone who at least understood me.